Dude, I Am Lonely!

Quote: Relationships are "the most beautiful thing that ever happened to mankind..." so they say.

Someone is lonely.
No, it is not me. Woishee, (okay, I've used that word before, so excuse me priss) it is not me. But it may be you... yeah, *pointing finger*, it may be you, or maybe, that friend of yours who is lonely...
But again that good thing about loneliness is that it is normal. Don't fret. Being lonely is normal. Let's justify it .with that clichè. How does it go? "Mankind is a social being, so he/she is in an endless pursuit for, er, company", right? Yeah, let's pin it on a billboard by using that one... then let's sit down, sip some water and say it in unison: 1... 2... 3... go! "It is normal!" (Even that very justification is commonly normal.) :-)
I'm not going to interdict you for loneliness. Let's (for now) say that it is normal. Yes, just for now...
Well, let's leave out the yada yada of who is and who is not lonely, and the other one of if it's normal to be lonely or not... and... let's do some thinking...
Do you ever wonder why people claim to be lonely? Do you ever wonder why you/they are continuously bored and lonely? Well, I would want to say so many things that may offend you but, let's consider this: there's a difference between a guy saying that he is lonely, and when a chiq says the same.
If we closely looked at both, (unless one or the other is a douche) *makes sign of the cross*, we may conclude that one is rightfully lonely while the other is just being overrated.
They both have very different definitions of what loneliness is all about. And the age of both also matters. Teenagers can be lonely as many times as they wish. No one should give a damn. It is NORMAL. Let the hormones do the walking... But dude/dudette, if your age is somewhere above 21 and you serially complain about loneliness, I should buy you a, er, (I wanted to say "puppy", but I won't. You don't do that in Kenya. You don't buy people puppies. So I won't buy you anything,... hehe).
Yeah, loneliness is real in both worlds (a man's and a woman's). It's just that in one it comes with an umbrella, while in the other it clothes itself with the sun. The outcome? Shades versus mirages. But it's okay. It is normal. Croissants (oh! I just had to put-fix that somewhere) buff doughnuts. :-)
Now because I'm already losing my thought line, lemme tell you what I was thinking about when I started writing this. Loneliness is a result of someone being fond of one, two or all of the following:

1. You fear relationships.
You think that ideal perfect people exist, so you are busy waiting, waiting, and er, wasting time waiting for them (the perfect people). Well, darling, they DO exist; but they should be somewhere Google can't trace. Or somewhere where even the collaboration of a pen and a mouth can't assist reveal. Keep on choosing, then keep on being lonely. Great advice, huh?

2. You love being lonely.
Okay, when all statements and things are summarized, you are ridiculous! I don't blame you. I blame the things that have happened in your life. I slightly blame your personality, then the relationships you previously had, your upbringing and many other things my mind refuses to load... :-)

3. You seek the approval of ALL the people in your life over who is and who is not right for you.
The fact is that, my girlfriend (or fiancée) will never be fully accepted by a 100% of the people who matter in my life. Never. She is not some hybrid of an angel, or is she? You need to know this, and get it well spinned and settled in your mind.

So, what am I saying?

This is what I am saying: put on a daring face, grab all the guts you've ever [thought] you have, match out there, (yes, I'm talking to you too all ye saved guys, because I am saved too), go look into her/his eyes and tell them anything. Tell them something. Anything. From "Can we grab a coffee?" to "Do you know how much croissants cost at, (let's say), Art Caffe?". Yeah dude/dudette, move out and say something!!! That's how it all begins.

Good luck with that.

Bonface Morris. 

People Versus Peeple

This is part three to that series of blog posts (what did we call it?), and it's about people; actually, peeple.

This is what I've learnt of people and peeple (and I'll be brief):-

1. It's so hard for peeple to know and live with the fact that they are not perfect, and that everyone else is just as weird as they are. If they at all perceived that they are not perfect, they would stop expecting angels out of other people. Peeple love expecting of others things that they themselves cannot afford to become. On the other hand, people understand that we are all different and mad at the same time... that we cannot please everyone all the time.

2. The best way to know an enemy-friend to a friend is by pretending to peeple that you also don't like that "mutual friend". Gossip has one cure: pretending that you are stupid, then hitting it back with facts. Peeple who talk too much about the fault in others (read: behavior, children, work...) have in themselves yet bigger problems of the same stature as what they gossip about. If what one loves is to talk negatively about others, they are more pathetic than the victims of their gossip.

3. Peeple worship competition, while people know that they don't have to beat anyone at anything, but only need to be themselves. If all of us were to do the same thing in the same way, so that we may achieve the same goals, then there'd better be just one of us and not "all of us". It is useless to have so many of us with the same approach to life and situations. Peeple love unhealthy competition where they fight for the first position and recognition, because they want to be "great". People think that that is rather foolish, and prefer to take on life in unity with others while believing the best of/from them, and also knowing that they are unique in their own way and they therefore don't need to prove out how good they are at something/anything.

4. Peeple always think that they can make better leaders and are always the best critics of any current leadership. They are activists of schism. Yeah, wait until they've been placed in that position (of leadership), and you'll see them shift the blame to someone else. They work underground to halt the success of any leadership, only to come out as fakes. These peeple are rebellious and disobedient to leadership. They are enemies to progress and any aspired achievement(s).

And lastly,

5. Peeple do nothing, but expect people to do everything (for them or for all)... and do it in a manner befitting a Nobel Peace Prize. This is foolish. These peeple stick in their comfort zones and expect everything to be done for them. They are lazy, yet of a domineering nature. They mock and laugh at the efforts of others. They need to grow up, get some daring attitude and pick up their lives...!!! They are the wise spectators "who know how to play" but sit on the fence and claim to own the rules of any life-game...

Which group are you part of? Peeple or people?

Bonface Morris.

Lord, Teach Me to be A Dad

I read somewhere that "being a dad takes guts, patience and a strong will, but being a father only requires you to be male..." I came out with the feeling that that is more sarcastic than it is factual... Well, I was wrong...

With Fathers' Day drawing nigh (it will actually be there tomorrow, Sunday, June 16, 2013), a day which is rarely celebrated with pomp and enthusiasm like Women's or Mothers' Day because (blame my thinks) people have some "secret beef" against men (read "The Boy Child Dilemma"), I am worried that my dad (both in Heaven and on earth) will not feel appreciated and pampered with words and gifts like He/he deserves.

I am worried that we are going to take the men in our lives for granted - just as it is the norm. I am worried that men all over the world will end up wishing that this day was blotted from the calender altogether in order to spare them the ridiculous agony it exposes them to. I am also worried that I should be worried about such thinks.

But wait, maybe I can do something about it. Maybe I can start preparing myself to be a GREAT dad so that I will not face humiliation from my future wife and daughters... (I'm dreaming baby! hehe... :)). Maybe I should start getting worried about who I am and not necessarily about what other men are. Maybe that will change my world... And that is why I am praying the prayer above...

So this is what I have decided: that I will celebrate my two dads this coming Sunday, celebrate other great men in my life that have helped to shape the person that I am; and apart from that, learn a few things from them about, er, fatherhood?, no, about "dadhood". :)

While in the learning process, I want to see and know what dads are made up of because I want to make a GREAT dad someday... So, if they are a mixture of clay and gold, I want that. If they are stupid, I wanna be stupid. Yeah, if it takes stupidity in order to make a dad, I want that. If they are humble, I wanna be humble. If they collect stones and chase grasshoppers, boy! I wanna be that. If GREAT dads carry the blunt of their decisions without complaining, I want to learn to do that. If they provide for their families and live to love each member of their families unconditionally, Lord teach me that. I wanna be great - someone's GREAT DAD.

My moments of wanting to be just a father to my (future) children and a mere name to my (future) wife are gone. I want better Fathers' Days in the future - where I'll always look forward to celebrating and not just having one. (Boy! I am over-dreaming, right? ... Well, never mind... my dreams conquer my world - they make it worthwhile.)

I wanna deal with my arrogance, my stubbornness, my "too much knowledge", my "being a man"... I wanna step out of my comfort zone into the realms of the unknown where my dad in Heaven is - where He's gonna hold my hand and teach me how to be a dad...

Hold a man's hand this weekend, look him into the eye, tell him how much he means to you, then softly tell him, "Happy Fathers Day...!"

ALL men need that. Yes, all men deserve it...

Side note: Read this article to find out just a lil' bit of what I'm talking about. 


Bonface Morris.   

Stories of Love and Betrayal

There once was narrated to me a story of two lovebirds. It was told to me by a trusted friend, and because I believe in this friend of mine, I'll write it as I remember it...

One fine morning (well it's a story, and all stories have every right to begin that way, right?) as I was busy and about my business, I met him (that friend of mine) and I randomly happened to ask him, "Mun, what is it all about love and relationships nowadays? Why are there so many broken hearts and shattered marriages today?" In reply, because he promised that his answer will need "tea accompaniment", he booked a sitting with me in order to tell me this story and he later attached some reasonable truth to it:-

"There once existed a guy and a chiq who in one way or another opportunity struck and they fell in love. The intensity of their love for each other was unheard of. It was off this world. People from across their neighborhood knew of their love, their great love. It was such a deep, unwavering love. O what a profound thing they beheld!

"They did all that there could ever be in order to please and be in good terms with each other - so their love, like their age, grew in bounds... They said words, things. They bought gifts, things. They rode on the mighty wings of understanding, tender loving care and listening to one another. They went places, dreamt. They fought races, dreamt. They did this together.

"Time passed by and that love, the heavenly love of the two young people, begun facing challenges", he said. "Disagreements emerged (like in every other relationship) over stupid things. They started fighting a lot, quarreling and blaming each other. There were trust issues (as many would call them), life issues and betrayal issues. There were issues to do with goals and marriage and ambitions. Their relationship begun draining away. They started shifting attention away from each other. They became more silent - never sharing even the little that had remained between them. They listened more to other people than to their partner. Understanding diminished. Listening diminished. Support diminished. Love started becoming boring. The love they had for one another started becoming shallow. They started feeling that they did not need each other, and that they 'were not meant for each other.' They had betrayed each other, and most importantly, they had betrayed their love for each other...

"Those who knew them kept on wondering if these two 'lovebirds' will EVER rekindle their love again..." 

At this point, I looked at my friend and wondered, "Can that happen to me... to you...?" It was starting to be a hybrid of a Naija movie and a Mexican telenovela... both of which I had a grudge against...

But he continued: "Morris, there is something that happens to relationships today, just like the one I've mentioned, that I would want you to note. Love does not just disappear from relationships, no. Love is MADE to disappear by the actions people practice for or against each other. There are 3, no, 4 tests to true love;

1. It forgives wrongs done
2. It rebukes what is wrong - it corrects
3. It believes even when there is nothing left to believe in - it always hopes
4. It is not selfish (or self-seeking) but sacrifices its all for the other partner.

"That is why so many relationships are falling apart..." "Tell me," he asked, 'Is this a story you can relate with/to?'"

...

Bonface Morris.