Of Education and Gothic Institutionalism

Quote: If there be a gift modernity esteems more than most, it should be literacy – Bonface Morris.

Quite often, I hear my mind quip: “There is one thing with literacy – aptness; the other one is madness.” I rarely sit down to question it (my mind). Well, I sometimes do. And when I do, I tend to come to a conclusion that the two (aptness and madness) exist in some kind of deranged ambiguity. Such a correlation – my mind always thinks – fails a certain balance of expectations. A balance that society earnestly expects it (literacy) would solve, but that it entirely never solves. No wonder one Malcolm Muggeridge (English journalist and Christian apologist) said, "We have educated ourselves into imbecility," as he bemoaned the many nefarious ideas that are shaping modern beliefs ^(cited).

In any modern society today, education (or learning) always takes the central place. It is placed in such a place of honor – and even somehow worshiped – because it determines modern paradigm shifts and the different steps from one generation or era to another. It may not be a society’s fault to do so, because we all have woken up from our mothers’ wombs and found society changing – mainly due to the increase in the level of literacy. But again, literacy as it is, is a practically relative term. Informal learning is literacy in certain contexts (not all), and it therefore makes legit the advice the “uneducated” passes on to the to the school-goer telling him/her (from time to time) how and why one thing or another is important. In such cases, whenever the less literate is wielding information to the more literate, a degree of relevance is stressed upon that benefits both formal and informal learning. This in itself helps to elevate the importance of education in shaping a society’s beliefs and values.
And here is where the aptness and the madness begin to struggle.
Society expects that learned people should be more responsible, more understanding and considerate. That is its expectation. It expects that they would behave like human beings and build an atmosphere of peace, love and tranquility. It expects to see a change in itself: less violence and more production. It expects a society that is moving forward... Well, the madness in literacy – the attainment of book intelligence - won’t allow that to happen. It seems it changes belief systems for the worse, scrapping off any possibilities of sanity and meekness. “Only a few literate people make sense,” say many. The aptness within literacy now seems to peep from a distance – sipping away sugarless coffee as it wonders why it is not needed anymore yet its friend, madness, is always invited…

I don’t deny the existence and power of beliefs and belief systems that are as a result of education within any society. I don’t even want to seem to deny it. Education is modernity’s altar that gives forth the worshiped adjoins of civilization. Literacy has its ego living amongst us and within us. I can’t deny that. It is true. In fact, most of what we become today is shaped by the presence of these beliefs and value systems. Most of what we become (whether good or bad) is either a folding or an unfolding of what we have learnt – what we have attained from our environment(s). Thus the essence of gaining understanding (wherever and whenever it may deem necessary) lies in the strength of learning. Even if our brains and/or minds may escape the binge of books, society cannot spare us few lessons from the curriculum it offers. Society still wheels us through its own informal education system even before we have known we are learning. Education imprisons us before we even know it, so to say.
However, weird within such contexts is when we come to a point where we want to understand how and why our learning institutions work the way they do. When we (read; students) come to such a place – a place of a deep need to balance the aptness and the madness within our learning institutions – we may be required to apply other informal tools. When we want to understand why our institutions – which should be a source of serenity - are growing madder by the day, formal education never seems to help. This is because the preachers (read, professors, lecturers and other so-forth-and-so-on learned people) are now drinking the wine they preach against, and are therefore another [good] case for study.

The informal tools students use in trying to understand how and why their preachers are now drinking wine may not be the best, but are made to be the best when moments encourage.
Students are found saying, “Yeah, we go to school to learn. Yeah, we all wanna learn. We don’t come here to fight or make appeals. But we just can’t understand why these learned people (read, professors, lecturers and other so-forth-and-so-on learned people) can be so inconsiderate and unthoughtful. We can’t understand why this institution(s) cannot learn from their past experience(s)! Don’t they have common sense? Don’t they know their carrying capacity as far as admissions are concerned? Why should they enroll students into their systems that are higher than their ability to productively manage? Don’t they know that we (students) have time allotted to our studies and don’t have ALL the time to waste? Huh? Why is there no democracy when it comes to leadership in our learning institutions? Have we reached to a point where literacy is for sale in this land, and we either sale it or sale it? Really? Have we reached to a point where University Vice-chancellors care more about how many students are being enrolled into the system, the money they are bringing in and the overall image of the institution(s), than how students are fairing on and if they are benefiting in their studies or not? Really? Is this the extent to which we have come?”
So after the ranting, as always, felony and madness take over; and the cycle of wrangles between institutions’ management and students continues.
When will this ever stop?
Well it may, or it may never stop. It depends on the following;

1. The administration in the learning institutions should be ready, together with students’ representatives, to reach a consensus regarding the issues at hand – a consensus that will benefit both sides; with an understanding that both sides deserve to be listened to, heard and considered in their opinions.
2. The institutions’ administration should only enroll into their system(s) students that their carrying capacity can accommodate. This should be done with infrastructure, school-based services and other learning services being put into consideration.
3. Ensuring that what is being offered to students is quality education with skills that they can apply in their immediate society and that will still make them competitive in the diverse world they are going to be in after their studies.
4. Creating a strong linkage between the school administration and students. Such a linkage should be open and interactive – offering to bring solutions to current and recurrent problems between the two parties or amongst the two.

After all these, then the balance between the aptness and madness in education will be manageable.

Bonface Morris.

The Day a Man Marries

On that very day a man marries, the woman weds. Yes, on that very day one marries, the other weds. You may see it in his eyes. Or maybe in his best man's. Or maybe on his suit. His best wedding suit. It may be written all over it. Or in the confidence and 'pettyness' with which he holds anything. Or how he holds everything. Or in the distant feeling within the stealth in his eyes. He's getting married… and you surely will see it in the way he sniffs the air around him. Differently. Nonchalantly. Busily. But easily. Yes, that's what happens to a man the day he marries. 

On the day a man marries, another one is born. The old one dies. Maybe partially. Maybe completely. Maybe forever. Maybe not ever. But, whatever the case, another is born. Different from the first. He dies. The old one dies. And a new one is born. Maybe quieter. Maybe more solemn. Maybe passive. Maybe not. Well, sky over earth, another is born. And the new one almost always kills the old one. Almost always. He has to in order for him to survive. The old one fades away as the new one takes over. Yeah, I know. I know this truth that the old man may want to sneak in from time to time with a desire to kill the new one. I know he has a way with not wanting to completely vanish - where he intrudes the new man's privacy and new life. But be that as it may, he can never take over the new one. It is true.

On the day a man marries, he tightens his belt. He also tightens his heart. And his eyes. He tightens his heart. He then weeds the garden that are his thoughts and often looks at the framed picture of his dad, err, his  father. Quite often. He looks at it with wonder. He wonders just how fast he's joining his league. Then he chooses to change. He changes his walk, his talk, his hiding; and even the way he smirks. The day he marries he grows up. He has to. He becomes a leader. He rules his world. Not with fists and terror, and bother, but with diligence and fervence and love. Yeah, he may toddle in these ways, but he steadies fast. He grows up.

Oh that day a man marries, he becomes a perfect stranger to himself. Even to his OWN mirror. Even to his own walls and corridors. The whole earth becomes an alien the day he marries. And he wonders why. And how. And what. But it happens. It is what happens when men marry.

So when he marries and picks up a new pair of shoes at the altar - shoes he has never worn - and the crowd is gazing at him; some in bewilderment, some with regret, some with desire and others with fury; when he marries and they are gazing at him in that way, let him remember that beyond that day, his surroundings will scream at him louder with expectancy with every passing moment. He should know that the very congregation that is cheering him on is going to expect much more than the veils and suits or flowers and balloons he has offered to display. It is going to want so much more than he (together with his partner) can afford to give. Let him remember (I am told) that the one wedding him in this day needs him - she'll be needing him for a lifetime. That she is now him, and him, her. That they're going to build bridges and hunt lions, and deers, and rabbits, and troubles together. That they're going to cry, and sing, and feel bored, and feel like giving up - but they'll need to hold it together.

I am told many things about 'the day a man marries', but above them all, what I hold onto most is: when a man marries, the Lord God is right there with him. He is there with them. He is watching and is waiting to lead him and bind him to the one wedding him, and the best thing he can ever do (while joining hands with the one wedding him) is to learn to daily tell Him (the LORD God who created them), "Dear Lord, here we come again…" I am told that the unison of those words makes ways through mighty rivers and can calm the most fierce of fires and storms - but first, he needs to marry…

Note: This one I dedicate to my two buddies, Antony and Ben, being bound to some very awesome ladies out there.
Guys, remember that many things DO happen when a man marries, and each one is for his own good.

Bonface Morris.

Under Relative Terms

An old man sits on a bench across the road. He is weary from age. He puts his hand into his pocket to remove his only watch for many years - a plastic Chinese make, which according to him, was the only original make there ever was of that model - and gazes at it. He wonders how it has come to be that he has been sitting in that same place for 3 hours already. Taking his handkerchief out from his rear pocket, he wipes away the sweat accumulating on his face. He has heard so many things about the city and how it has long hands. He was not going to take risks to put his money in the rear pocket. He has it all right there in the inner pocket of his favourite shirt. For someone to have it, he will have to kill him first.

As he contemplates his situation, he understands why he should keep waiting. Life has taught him to be patient. In so many ways. Right from when he was the age of his son - the one he has come to the city to visit. He will not let anger come between him and meeting his son. This is the only day (he thinks) he has an opportunity to shed some light in that lad's life. It is now or never. So he waits.

It is half past eight in the morning, and he is sweating! He gazes around him. The city has changed. The city has really changed. Just a few years ago, there were no buildings in the place he now sits. In fact, were it not for his son's specificity that he should alight here, he would not have known where he was... It is in the middle of the week anyway, and he still has plenty of time to look around before he heads back home to the village. He may know a few names, meet a few people or maybe know a few streets and a few vehicles specific to different streets... 

He gazes at the beauty of the modern city - admiring the good architectural designs… His son (he now thinks) should have made plans to build him a better house by now. He has been working for a while; and work translates to money, right? Well, he still does not understand how people operate nowadays...

Someone pats his back. It jolts him. It should be his son. No? No one knows him in this city except him. "Mzee, umekaa hapa sana, unangoja mtu?" (Old man, you've been here for a while, are you waiting for someone?), comes the voice. He looks up. It's only a boy. Twenty two maybe? He quickly scans his mind to remember how he was told to behave around city boys. Okay, here goes, "No I'm okay". He just has to use English so that this kid cannot think him to be a dumb old geezer, or some petty drums basking in sun waiting to be beaten. The boy looks at him, gives him a twisted crooked smile and moves away. He now remembers the joke his wife (of forty years) had made the previous day while handing him the bag with a few clothing she had packed, "Wewe utapoteza hiyo bag hata kabla ufike Nairobi" (You will lose this bag even before you are in the city). He had smiled and said nothing. That has always been his way of saying, "Yeah, you may be right, but let's leave it at that."

It's always been like that with his wife. They know how to hit at each other in a [tiny] humorous way. They understand how it all goes. They've done this together innumerable times. They enjoy it. They've learned to enjoy it. But they've not enjoyed everything all the time. Not at all. Take for instance, their decision to sell one of those precious goats of theirs so that he may get enough "transport" to travel to the city. It was hard. Really hard. Those goats are like their insurance. They are their security. Touching them (read, selling them) was not an easy decision to make. But they had to. One thing they had done is to take precaution. They had deposited some of the money (after selling the goat) into his M-PESA account. This was to ensure that if things were to go really bad on this merciless side of the world, he'll still have "transport" to get back home. Modernity has taught them a few lessons they would not dare forget. "But what if my phone battery loses charge and there's no electricity?", he had asked her. There may be no electricity at his son's place. He may not even be having a place... They had resolved to leave that as it was. You can't have answers for everything. Yes, that's another life lesson they have learned over time. There are things that should just be let to be. You can’t solve everything...

"Vipi mzee? Sorry, nimechelewa" (Hi, old man, sorry, I'm late), comes another voice. 

"Arrrghhh! This city!!", he yells within himself. 

Alas! It is his boy. "The boy has grown fat", he imagines. That's the first thing he notices of him. "And he now has eye glasses!", his mind continues. "And his voice has also changed...!" 

"Mzee, aren't you going to say anything?" He comes back to his senses.

"Oh, ni uzee! Niko salama. Nilikuwa nashangaa kwani mji umekumeza!?", (Oh, it's old age! I'm okay. I was wondering if the city had swallowed you somehow), he replies. The son now swithes the language and mood: "I passed through here to take you to my place. I have taken a day off, and I'll report back to work tomorrow, or maybe the other day..." He (the old man) smiles and says nothing.

They navigate through the streets of the city to a matatu stage. He is already feeling nostalgic. He doesn't love congestion. "When you grow old", he always says, "you grow weary of busyness..." He's also feeling hungry. The last meal he had was prepared by his wife. Sixteen hours ago. She knows what he likes to have before traveling. And she did just that. He smiles. She knows exactly what he wants and when he wants it. She has learned it over time.

Because of his absence from his immediate environment, he doesn't realize that they're already at their destination. They alight. He looks around. "Not a bad neighborhood", he says within himself. His son knocks on a door. Knocks again. Someone opens from the inside. A lady. No, a girl-ish lady. She smiles at him. "Karibu mzee" (welcome old man). He just nodes in reply.

Things start getting complicated. He has another wife. His son has another girl-ish wife. No wonder he has been silent all this time. No wonder he never asks about his wedded wife. No wonder he can't send support to his thirteen year old child who should now be joining high school. That is why he needs to teach him some sense. That is the reason he is here - to tell him that he needs to man up. He waits until the lady has gone to the other room and makes an introduction to his harangues:

"My son, I'm pleased to be here, and I'm thankful to God that you are healthy and doing well. I travelled well. Your mother is well. We are fine. I have planned to spend some two days at your place before going back to the village. You know we village people love our village...[smiles] I hope it will be okay with you. But I had a few issues I wanted to bring to your attention before settling down: One, your wife has gone back to her parents; two, your child needs to join High School next year; three, I have a problem with arthritis which is now making me inefficient in taking good care of the rest of my family, which is your family too; then four, your sister is pregnant - by I don't know who... To add to that, I need to know who she is [points finger in the direction the lady disappeared] to you."

In reply, before the tea is served, the boy tells him this:

"That is good to hear, but I don't know why you old people have a problem with how we young people choose to spend our lives these days. About my wife, I chose I don't need her anymore. She's rude and a niggard. She's intolerant. Who can live with such a person, huh? I needed a break, so I found someone who really understands me - we've been together for one year. I'm fine with that. If you are not, go bring her back (the wife) and take care of her. About my child, let him learn life the hard way. We didn't reach this far by everything being done right for us. No. Let him learn to struggle, and maybe take himself to a day school or something... A polytechnique may even do... Your health problem is understandable, but I'm not your only child. I have brothers. And sisters. Tell them too. Your brother is a doctor, he might help. And concerning my younger sister - she is a fool. How can she get pregnant with all this that is happening in life today? Throw her out. Let her pay the price of being careless..."

The old man looks intensely at the boy. The boy he has seen grow. The boy he nicknamed his friend. The boy he has known all these days. The boy he has loved so much above the others hoping that he will be the solid ground upon which the family stood in tough and slippery times like these. He says nothing. Even after tea is served, they say nothing. He wonders how children can be so arrogant today. How they can be so irresponsible and beastly. He imagines what would have happened in their days if a child tried to disown his family and evade responsibility. "Relativity, too much relativity, has eaten up our value systems!", he thinks. "Everyone now thinks they are right just because they are right. No one heeds to correction anymore. No one thinks authority is to be respected or that respect is deserved... They all move in the direction they please just because they choose to, and because that's what they want. We are breeding a society without honour and reverence towards the absolute right..."

This eats him up the entire night. He thinks over it. He tosses and turns on that chair he is given as a bed. He then decides to leave the next day. He knows he is not needed there. He doesn't have to be told to leave. He'll leave. But. But he'll never come back. Never. He'll never come back. He won't disown this lad and he won't become his slave. They will survive. They've always survived. They still will. God will make them live.  

The next day, as he boards the bus back home alone, he knows he has another lesson imprinted in his mind. A lesson he's going to deeply share with his wife: peeple today live life under relative terms, everyone thinks he (or she) is right, just because they are right... It is stupid, but it is a lesson anyway...



Bonface Morris.

Love Killed No-one

I have a friend. A friend of mine. The kind who is always as drunk with words as I am. In his inquisitions and musings on life, he one day told me this;

"Morris, love killed no one - it never has,

It stole no-one's castle nor took no-one's child,

It did nothing but love,

It only loved.

That's all we blame it for: that love loves..."

"Morris, love never raided your heart - it never has,

It never matched against your wildest dreams,

Nor took away your boldest stances,

Nor imbibed you in its wings...

Oh yeah, now you think it did, huh?

You now blame it for stealing you away, huh?

It never did.

It just stared as you paced it through the dusty paths of desire,

And pitied you when you fell down to worship it;

And when you stared with angst, didn't it warn you not to awaken it?"

"But now you blame for all it has done;

You *sic* blame it for all things done to the hearts of men and women..."

"Love killed no-one,

And if it has been thought to,

Or if it has ever been wanted to be thought that it has,

It was only following its charmer,

For love loves no challenges,

And its charade is a mighty conqueror,

It doesn't steal, it cannot be stolen, but it can be seduced..."

"Yeah, I agree, people have died in the name of love,

Some were fighting for it

Some were fighting it

Some were fighting in it

Some were drunk with it: the muddle being their end

Some were thirsting for it

Some were reaching out for it

Some were hopeful to find it...

Some were finding it

Some didn't even know what they felt -

All in the name of love"

"But love never killed them

It never did

They all died and were buried; and we clutch at their stories with embroidered hearts,

But, yeah, but love took no sword, nor dagger, nor gun to shoot at any of them

It never said, 'Kill them all!!'

You may say it did, but my friend, who witnessed it?"

"So when men and women die,

When they die for love, or in the name of love,

They only seem to die for the other person,

Or for themselves;

Because somewhere love stares and wonders, "Did I really kill them?"

And it holds its stick - its walking stick (because it has become old and frailly of late)

And moves on to see and hear what others have to say...

Only to find the same old accusations in the next lot of peeple..."

"Peeple!", head tilted on walking stick, it softly wonders, "they never understand!".

Bonface Morris.

3 Soft Rock Gospel Music Albums: A Review

To begin with, I am still undecided on what to call this post. I am held between worlds, between excitements and between fanatisms... because that's exactly what music does to me.

Well, I've given it a title anyways...

I love music. I can talk about music all day. I can. I can sing all day. I get crazy. I hit my headphones to 15. I jump. I yell. I dance. I can play a song I love all day... I love the stuff I listen to. I enjoy it, so I write about it.

So, here goes;

Now, this year seems to be turning my mind around as far as soft rock Gospel music (a genre of music that blends pop music, worship music, alternative and rock music acoustics genres) is concerned. I don't want to go overboard with all that, but boy! to say the least, the kind of music bands are pulling out nowadays is way above normal. The level unto which worship is rising (as far as music and singing is concerned) is indicative of Heaven opening to earth and we guys singing with the angles. True. Very true.

Take for instance the first album I met this year: Passion 2013's "Let the Future Begin". When Louie Giglio was ranting about it on twitter, I was like, "Okay, everyone rants about a new album... This will come and go." Worse still, it came about the same time Chris Tomlin was doing his Burning Lights tour, and I thought it was mere publicity. But wait, what caught my attention is the inclusion of Lecrae and Kari Jobe in his tour, and these guys (Tomlin and Kari Jobe) were posting stuff on Instagram showing the mad moves Tomlin was doing while singing "God's Great Dance Floor" (Track No. 5 on Burning Lights). Well, that caught my eye. It happened to be that, that very song is Track No. 1 on "Let the Future Begin". You can only imagine how excited I was... Passion's project was going to be a hit after all!

Yeah, "Let the Future Begin" did not disappoint and thus far, has not disappointed. Passion's greatest strength is bringing together different gifted singers onto one platform and making one album out of all of them. It made this album have a touch of genric hybridization (whatever that means), thus possessing and belonging to its own league of uniqueness.

The album is inclusive of (as it is the annual Passion culture) several musicians and bands. Out of the 14 tracks, Tomlin is the lead vocalist in 4 tracks, Kristian Stanfill leads 4 more, Matt Redman is the main vocalist in 2 tracks, while Christy Nockels, Brett Younker, Kari Jobe and David Crowder band lead a song each. Probably the guys you miss on this project are Charlie Hall band...

Lecrae (check out these playlists on YouTube) was a guest in the Conference held in March - but was not included in the album itself.

After falling victim to Passion 2013's project, I was privileged to get another enticing project from Jesus Culture : "Live from New York", a project which features one Martin Smith (who is on 7 out of 16 songs on the album). By the way if you know that group Delirious? (of the "Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble?" and "I Could Sing of Your Love" fame), you know Martin Smith. He has been one of their foremost lead worshippers for a long time.

Kim Walker-Smith is on this project too - doing her thing as usual. Her voice pitches you into addiction to three tracks: Holy Spirit, Pursuit and Waiting Here for You (with Martin Smith). Chris Quilala features in 6 songs. Considering the growth these guys have undergone (they begun as a youth band featuring three guys as lead vocalists: Chris Quilala, Kim Walker - right before she got married till now - and Melissa How), this project is one level above many others... but I leave it to you to make your own judgement on that.

And last, but utmostly relevant, is Hillsong's second project this year: "Glorious Ruins."

As I write this post, the album is running in the background on repeat. I'm loving it. I'm loving it 20 times more than I even tried to like "Zion" (their first album this year). To me, Zion was a bit weird - too contemporary... well that's a story for another day; but what do you say of an album which out of the available 18 songs, you only happen to play 3 of them and skip the rest?

Glorious Ruins carries one central message: ruins can be brought to life, ruins can share in God's glory and blessing... once they're fallen at his cross and learn to embrace Him...

With Hillsong's group of awesome lead worshippers (under the leadership of Reuben Morgan since 2008 after Darlene Zschech retired from being the music pastor), this project is amazing - maybe the greatest after "Cornerstone" (2012). Their creativity has cloned one song with a techno-rock fusion (Lift You Higher) - an amaaaaayzing song! And there's that Easter single (Man of Sorrows) they gave out as a free download on the Hillsong Live! website earlier on in March.

The introduction is great - more like Passion's. The arrangement of songs and their harmonious overlap is good. I think it is one thing Hillsong have perfected over time. They always know which song will follow which one, and making such a worship set enables a smooth flow of music. The album has a total of 15 songs, and you can be assured that Hillsong never disappoints when it comes to lyrical content and anthem-like shouts... My advice? Go get this album!!

Well guys, I have to stop here.

Let me leave you with the power to judge which of the three projects above really gets you into the Throne Room, because that's where we all want to be...

Keep worshipping.

Bonface Morris.

The Friendzone

"Hi *Andrew, this is my [pause] friend, Morris. [Blushes], er, meet Morris, my BFF…"

As she continues, I don't seem to hear the rest of what she is saying. I mean, how can I? My mind is heating up - cabbage style - and my hands are now accumulating sweat; even my bowels seem to perspire... My mind is like, "Oh, really? Your BFF?" Then I continue with my ranting → "How dare she blush like that in front of this ** Andrew dude? How could she be thinking of me as her BFF all this time? Huh? Am I sort-of-kind-of a bulb-fixer to her? And who is this guy anyway? This Andrew guy? Who ** does he think he is?" And it goes on and on...

Six seconds later, I realize that I am gonna be in some deep deeep etiquette hullabaloo; so I become all smiles-sweets-and-carrots, throw aside my cabbageous mode, stretch my [sweat-filled] hand to this Andrew dude we just met, and in my pretense, I go like, "Heey dude!, er, Andrew... it's good to see ya! *Trizah is a great friend of mine..." So as she takes over to continue with the introduction, I am busy scanning this dude and weighing him on the scales in my mind - just to see where he fits in her life. "Mmmmhhh," goes me, "Okay, he's cool. He has his dressing code in order. His hair is okay. His shoes,mmmmhhh, not too bad..." He had scored some 3 out of 10 there. "Who is he to Trizah anyway? Is he an old friend? A potential boyfriend, maybe? Is she attracted to him? Is this air charged when they meet?"

"Morris!", she pleads. Oh! I was almost lost there. So, in milliseconds, I try to know what the introduction could have gone like (I know how we normally drill this); so with the antiquity that comes with raised eyebrows I go like, "Yeah, it is great meeting you. Do you live around?" As he responds to my question, I continue with my labosoure behavior... Let me not go into how it all ended...

Guya, the "friendzone" is what best describes my relationship with Trizah. You see, we've been "together" for such a long time that we are nothing less and nothing more than best friends. We didn't see it coming. It just did (that kind of friendship) - and so here we are. We seem to blend and understand each other with such meticulous impeccableness. She gets me, and I get her. Floods or rain, drizzles or pain, chills or shine? We get each other. We nickname guys, do silly things together, talk about stuff... we get each other.

But this time, it was different. I swear it was different. I didn't know this guy, this Andrew guy. He whizzed himself around and spoke with such a familiarity that made me whizz too. She had never talked to me about this guy (as if she really had to). I thought I knew everything about her, but, well, I was wrong. I was worried. I was on some kind of an edge...

So, do you have (or have you ever had) a relationship like this one that existed between me and Trizah? Such where you are "good friends" with someone you are attracted to but are never courageous enough to say, "Heeey gal! It's been a while already. Can we take this, er, thingy into the next level?" The one where you find out that you somehow figure her out as more of a sister (or brother) than a lover and are fearful to break that link by bringing up this lovey-dovey stuff? Mmmmmh, I feel yah dude/dudette! I feel you. It's a friendzone.

Even though akina Doctor Love (whoever that is) say that the best lovers live as best friends, hiyo huunganishi, ama?

Okay, if you are not sure where you are, let me show you if you've been friendzoned;

1. You are good friends, and that is it. No this or that - just gooo-ooood friends. Oh my! I should pity you, but I won't. Good friends you are. Period.
2. People think that you two are an item. Mmmmmh, too bad. You can't whisk that away. So your response to him/her when you hear such rumours is like, "Oh come on Trizah! You of all people know that it can't be. You know it will never be..." Bla bla bla... But deep inside, you're hur[rrrr]ting and feeling yipeeeee-ish...
3. There are boundaries. Relationship boundaries. Well, you may talk about your "other" relationships but you never talk about how you two feel about each other. That. Is. A. Friendzone.
4. Either of you feels hurt when the other seems to be "getting on." You want them for yourself, but you have so gotten used to it that you can now live with it, somehow. Let's pray that it won't be exploding soon. Yeah, can we kneel already?

After knowing where you two stand, here are some possible solutions to you who has been friendzoned;

1. Take a step to tell your friend about how you truly feel about them before it explodes in your face - before it's too late. Be ready to deal with the aftermath, because things can really fly nasty.
2. Tell them if you are thinking of getting into a serious relationship (whatever that means) with someone else. Prepare them psychologically to deal with the fact that "you're moving on".
3. Break that emotional attachment between the two of you - that mind-reading thing. It may be the most difficult to break away from, but it's always worthy it. Save your coming relationship(s), my friend.

Good luck with that!!

Side note: *Trizah and *Andrew only exist somewhere in my thinks.



Bonface Morris.

Life

Seemingly, there's something I need to be doing right now... Something like ("peeple" et al) reading, or maybe making academic discussions, and so forth and so on... because (truth be said) here are exams yelling at me, and that should be the best thing to do: read, read and read (as I am expected to); but well, the typical me cares less. Okay, let me set this right: I don't "CARE LESS" but I "care less." Got it? Good.

So, I care less about exams and their fever, and the madness they throw at (and into) people; and the running up and down while formulating funny group discussions, and the fear on people's faces... I care less about all those things that are attached to "too much" studying. I am lazy. In fact, you should never come to me while seeking for advice concerning studies and education. I am not your best consultant in such matters. No, I'm not. You don't take advice from a guy who watches 3 to 4 episodes of a favorite movie prior examinations, do you? But I'm just being practical and real: I don't love school. Worse still, I hate exams. Everyone hates exams, yeah, everyone... (so I think). I hate school because school grounds me. And oh my! how I hate being grounded! I am sincere. I hate school. Yes, kill me already, but that's just me... I always wish someone would just step up out of nowhere, study on my behalf, do my exams, pass them and leave me rolling out here doing, er, nothing. That's just me. I love being myself... Don't mistake me. Don't judge me either. I don't "HATE" school, but I do "hate" school. The difference? I don't know. Use Google. He/she might help.

And with all that going on in my life right here, right now, I replay in my mind things life has taught me. Things like: pretenders die first, fast. And others like: I only have one life - the one I have, the one God has taught me. Just one. The rest is a mystery... With that in mind, I have learnt to fall in love with who I truly am. Why? First, it is the best thing one can do for themselves; then, there is one good thing about being yourself: you don't struggle to become "it". Nope! You already are "it".

That's why I've chosen to keep my notepad busy when everyone else is doing whatever they do best. Today is one of those days I do exactly that: maintain being myself. And as always, I'll never blame anyone after passing or failing my exams. It's my fault baby, it's all my fault...

Many things happening around me of late have gotten me thinking. You see, life has many decisions to undertake in order "to make it". Some are stupid (the decisions). Some are wise. We ALL have fallen victim of both. Some have made us regret why we EVER, yes, EVER made them, while others have made us beam with pride and raise our heads up high. It has all been upon us... We all have enjoyed somewhere in life, and we all have wept. Sometimes it's for the wrong reasons, while other times it's for the right ones... We choose to live this life like we gonna, then we start living it like we wanna... it is all up to us. We should blame no one. We should hold no one accountable for our choices... That's just another lesson I'm still learning...

I always want to learn from my own experiences. Yes, I may have few, but that's the only way I learn faster and I understand better. Maybe you ain't like me, but I'll show you why I choose to do so;

1. I am of the mindset that I am the only one who can ever be "me". No one else can ever teach me to be "me" than myself and God. The two of us are the best collabo in making "me". So I'd rather learn from us than from anyone else.
2. I am proud. I don't go well with someone wanting to show me "all the stuff that there is to be known." I'd rather do it myself and suffer along the way... but with my ego "intact."
3. How else will I discover new ways of doing stuff unless I try it myself? Tell me, how else? So, God help me.

To finish up, life has taught me to take risks. Sometimes it is not because I WANTED to, but because I HAD to... I have taken risks in my relationships, risks in my day-to-day life, risks with God, risks with friends, risks with my family (which I so much miss so many times), risks with love, risks with finances, risks with my mingling leadership, work and education. Risks...

And I still have to wake up tomorrow morning and tell myself, "You know what Morris? It's another day booy! Bless the Lord your God, and let's go out there, get it started and make it work..."

And life goes on. It never stops. The challenges never stop. My heart never stops. Betrayals never stop. Blame games never stop. Gossip behind your back never stops. Stalkers, spies and detectives never stop doing their thang on you. Academics never stop. Work never stops. Even worship itself never stops... Nothing ever stops. Life goes on... and unless I stop it by allowing stuff to bulk in my way (bitterness, grudges, unforgiveness, pain, hurts, words from peeple... stuff), or unless God does, it will still go on... it shall never stop... until we meet with eternity... never ending...

Yes, that is life.


BonfaceMorris.

"Harangues"

"Bliss and pain beget journeys," they say; and they also say, "After journeys, everyone's gut is an attorney..."

God has been wondering, yes, God... He has been wondering about the essence of human drive. Not because He has been wanting to understand mankind, but because He has been understanding mankind all along: his autonomous shrieks, his unending desires, his pains and how he heals them... just many thinks...
And He has whispered into my ear about it... Okay, I'm just an ordinary boy. Yes, I am ordinary, and I am comfortable with that; but nothing (blame my thinks) suits purpose like something ordinary...
So, in my vamped ordinary behavior, I'll write this (about man when trying [at his most] to charm, and mostly, to wrestle with God):

We peeple are interesting...

We want God to honor us, pamper us and esteem us, but do we do the same for/to Him?
We want Him to fight our battles and shred our enemi(es), but how many times have we failed to hack his enemies to pieces, the very ones that dwell in us? Many times.
We want testimonies of Him blessing us and our narratives of "His great and awesome Hand", but have we blessed Him or testified of His greatness?

We are not His friends, while we demand for great friendships, families and relationships,
We are not His flock (if we ever have thought we are, it is when the lion is pawing at us), yet we demand the offings of His staff
We are mean, yet we want Him to enrich us, abound us and supply us with plenty
We play games with His Words, we wander and totter and clamp ourselves to fusions of debauchery
Then we sit awake and await peace and tranquility... and just as summer evades winter, so do they...

If we continually create war, and feed it, and hide it
And if we serially eat trash, and feed it, and hide it
God has no place in us
He has no command over us...

Darkness earnestly looks for us, because light is not the one thing we chase after
After we are lost seeking, then we will deft in the days after
God, yes, God waits in the dark, and He does want to "feel lucky" finding us
Even if we run farthest, He's already there...
He still wonders when, just when, we will stop running... away...


Bonface Morris.

Dude, I Am Lonely!

Quote: Relationships are "the most beautiful thing that ever happened to mankind..." so they say.

Someone is lonely.
No, it is not me. Woishee, (okay, I've used that word before, so excuse me priss) it is not me. But it may be you... yeah, *pointing finger*, it may be you, or maybe, that friend of yours who is lonely...
But again that good thing about loneliness is that it is normal. Don't fret. Being lonely is normal. Let's justify it .with that clichè. How does it go? "Mankind is a social being, so he/she is in an endless pursuit for, er, company", right? Yeah, let's pin it on a billboard by using that one... then let's sit down, sip some water and say it in unison: 1... 2... 3... go! "It is normal!" (Even that very justification is commonly normal.) :-)
I'm not going to interdict you for loneliness. Let's (for now) say that it is normal. Yes, just for now...
Well, let's leave out the yada yada of who is and who is not lonely, and the other one of if it's normal to be lonely or not... and... let's do some thinking...
Do you ever wonder why people claim to be lonely? Do you ever wonder why you/they are continuously bored and lonely? Well, I would want to say so many things that may offend you but, let's consider this: there's a difference between a guy saying that he is lonely, and when a chiq says the same.
If we closely looked at both, (unless one or the other is a douche) *makes sign of the cross*, we may conclude that one is rightfully lonely while the other is just being overrated.
They both have very different definitions of what loneliness is all about. And the age of both also matters. Teenagers can be lonely as many times as they wish. No one should give a damn. It is NORMAL. Let the hormones do the walking... But dude/dudette, if your age is somewhere above 21 and you serially complain about loneliness, I should buy you a, er, (I wanted to say "puppy", but I won't. You don't do that in Kenya. You don't buy people puppies. So I won't buy you anything,... hehe).
Yeah, loneliness is real in both worlds (a man's and a woman's). It's just that in one it comes with an umbrella, while in the other it clothes itself with the sun. The outcome? Shades versus mirages. But it's okay. It is normal. Croissants (oh! I just had to put-fix that somewhere) buff doughnuts. :-)
Now because I'm already losing my thought line, lemme tell you what I was thinking about when I started writing this. Loneliness is a result of someone being fond of one, two or all of the following:

1. You fear relationships.
You think that ideal perfect people exist, so you are busy waiting, waiting, and er, wasting time waiting for them (the perfect people). Well, darling, they DO exist; but they should be somewhere Google can't trace. Or somewhere where even the collaboration of a pen and a mouth can't assist reveal. Keep on choosing, then keep on being lonely. Great advice, huh?

2. You love being lonely.
Okay, when all statements and things are summarized, you are ridiculous! I don't blame you. I blame the things that have happened in your life. I slightly blame your personality, then the relationships you previously had, your upbringing and many other things my mind refuses to load... :-)

3. You seek the approval of ALL the people in your life over who is and who is not right for you.
The fact is that, my girlfriend (or fiancée) will never be fully accepted by a 100% of the people who matter in my life. Never. She is not some hybrid of an angel, or is she? You need to know this, and get it well spinned and settled in your mind.

So, what am I saying?

This is what I am saying: put on a daring face, grab all the guts you've ever [thought] you have, match out there, (yes, I'm talking to you too all ye saved guys, because I am saved too), go look into her/his eyes and tell them anything. Tell them something. Anything. From "Can we grab a coffee?" to "Do you know how much croissants cost at, (let's say), Art Caffe?". Yeah dude/dudette, move out and say something!!! That's how it all begins.

Good luck with that.

Bonface Morris. 

People Versus Peeple

This is part three to that series of blog posts (what did we call it?), and it's about people; actually, peeple.

This is what I've learnt of people and peeple (and I'll be brief):-

1. It's so hard for peeple to know and live with the fact that they are not perfect, and that everyone else is just as weird as they are. If they at all perceived that they are not perfect, they would stop expecting angels out of other people. Peeple love expecting of others things that they themselves cannot afford to become. On the other hand, people understand that we are all different and mad at the same time... that we cannot please everyone all the time.

2. The best way to know an enemy-friend to a friend is by pretending to peeple that you also don't like that "mutual friend". Gossip has one cure: pretending that you are stupid, then hitting it back with facts. Peeple who talk too much about the fault in others (read: behavior, children, work...) have in themselves yet bigger problems of the same stature as what they gossip about. If what one loves is to talk negatively about others, they are more pathetic than the victims of their gossip.

3. Peeple worship competition, while people know that they don't have to beat anyone at anything, but only need to be themselves. If all of us were to do the same thing in the same way, so that we may achieve the same goals, then there'd better be just one of us and not "all of us". It is useless to have so many of us with the same approach to life and situations. Peeple love unhealthy competition where they fight for the first position and recognition, because they want to be "great". People think that that is rather foolish, and prefer to take on life in unity with others while believing the best of/from them, and also knowing that they are unique in their own way and they therefore don't need to prove out how good they are at something/anything.

4. Peeple always think that they can make better leaders and are always the best critics of any current leadership. They are activists of schism. Yeah, wait until they've been placed in that position (of leadership), and you'll see them shift the blame to someone else. They work underground to halt the success of any leadership, only to come out as fakes. These peeple are rebellious and disobedient to leadership. They are enemies to progress and any aspired achievement(s).

And lastly,

5. Peeple do nothing, but expect people to do everything (for them or for all)... and do it in a manner befitting a Nobel Peace Prize. This is foolish. These peeple stick in their comfort zones and expect everything to be done for them. They are lazy, yet of a domineering nature. They mock and laugh at the efforts of others. They need to grow up, get some daring attitude and pick up their lives...!!! They are the wise spectators "who know how to play" but sit on the fence and claim to own the rules of any life-game...

Which group are you part of? Peeple or people?

Bonface Morris.

Lord, Teach Me to be A Dad

I read somewhere that "being a dad takes guts, patience and a strong will, but being a father only requires you to be male..." I came out with the feeling that that is more sarcastic than it is factual... Well, I was wrong...

With Fathers' Day drawing nigh (it will actually be there tomorrow, Sunday, June 16, 2013), a day which is rarely celebrated with pomp and enthusiasm like Women's or Mothers' Day because (blame my thinks) people have some "secret beef" against men (read "The Boy Child Dilemma"), I am worried that my dad (both in Heaven and on earth) will not feel appreciated and pampered with words and gifts like He/he deserves.

I am worried that we are going to take the men in our lives for granted - just as it is the norm. I am worried that men all over the world will end up wishing that this day was blotted from the calender altogether in order to spare them the ridiculous agony it exposes them to. I am also worried that I should be worried about such thinks.

But wait, maybe I can do something about it. Maybe I can start preparing myself to be a GREAT dad so that I will not face humiliation from my future wife and daughters... (I'm dreaming baby! hehe... :)). Maybe I should start getting worried about who I am and not necessarily about what other men are. Maybe that will change my world... And that is why I am praying the prayer above...

So this is what I have decided: that I will celebrate my two dads this coming Sunday, celebrate other great men in my life that have helped to shape the person that I am; and apart from that, learn a few things from them about, er, fatherhood?, no, about "dadhood". :)

While in the learning process, I want to see and know what dads are made up of because I want to make a GREAT dad someday... So, if they are a mixture of clay and gold, I want that. If they are stupid, I wanna be stupid. Yeah, if it takes stupidity in order to make a dad, I want that. If they are humble, I wanna be humble. If they collect stones and chase grasshoppers, boy! I wanna be that. If GREAT dads carry the blunt of their decisions without complaining, I want to learn to do that. If they provide for their families and live to love each member of their families unconditionally, Lord teach me that. I wanna be great - someone's GREAT DAD.

My moments of wanting to be just a father to my (future) children and a mere name to my (future) wife are gone. I want better Fathers' Days in the future - where I'll always look forward to celebrating and not just having one. (Boy! I am over-dreaming, right? ... Well, never mind... my dreams conquer my world - they make it worthwhile.)

I wanna deal with my arrogance, my stubbornness, my "too much knowledge", my "being a man"... I wanna step out of my comfort zone into the realms of the unknown where my dad in Heaven is - where He's gonna hold my hand and teach me how to be a dad...

Hold a man's hand this weekend, look him into the eye, tell him how much he means to you, then softly tell him, "Happy Fathers Day...!"

ALL men need that. Yes, all men deserve it...

Side note: Read this article to find out just a lil' bit of what I'm talking about. 


Bonface Morris.