As she continues, I don't seem to hear the rest of what she is saying. I mean, how can I? My mind is heating up - cabbage style - and my hands are now accumulating sweat; even my bowels seem to perspire... My mind is like, "Oh, really? Your BFF?" Then I continue with my ranting → "How dare she blush like that in front of this ** Andrew dude? How could she be thinking of me as her BFF all this time? Huh? Am I sort-of-kind-of a bulb-fixer to her? And who is this guy anyway? This Andrew guy? Who ** does he think he is?" And it goes on and on...
Six seconds later, I realize that I am gonna be in some deep deeep etiquette hullabaloo; so I become all smiles-sweets-and-carrots, throw aside my cabbageous mode, stretch my [sweat-filled] hand to this Andrew dude we just met, and in my pretense, I go like, "Heey dude!, er, Andrew... it's good to see ya! *Trizah is a great friend of mine..." So as she takes over to continue with the introduction, I am busy scanning this dude and weighing him on the scales in my mind - just to see where he fits in her life. "Mmmmhhh," goes me, "Okay, he's cool. He has his dressing code in order. His hair is okay. His shoes,mmmmhhh, not too bad..." He had scored some 3 out of 10 there. "Who is he to Trizah anyway? Is he an old friend? A potential boyfriend, maybe? Is she attracted to him? Is this air charged when they meet?"
"Morris!", she pleads. Oh! I was almost lost there. So, in milliseconds, I try to know what the introduction could have gone like (I know how we normally drill this); so with the antiquity that comes with raised eyebrows I go like, "Yeah, it is great meeting you. Do you live around?" As he responds to my question, I continue with my labosoure behavior... Let me not go into how it all ended...
Guya, the "friendzone" is what best describes my relationship with Trizah. You see, we've been "together" for such a long time that we are nothing less and nothing more than best friends. We didn't see it coming. It just did (that kind of friendship) - and so here we are. We seem to blend and understand each other with such meticulous impeccableness. She gets me, and I get her. Floods or rain, drizzles or pain, chills or shine? We get each other. We nickname guys, do silly things together, talk about stuff... we get each other.
But this time, it was different. I swear it was different. I didn't know this guy, this Andrew guy. He whizzed himself around and spoke with such a familiarity that made me whizz too. She had never talked to me about this guy (as if she really had to). I thought I knew everything about her, but, well, I was wrong. I was worried. I was on some kind of an edge...
So, do you have (or have you ever had) a relationship like this one that existed between me and Trizah? Such where you are "good friends" with someone you are attracted to but are never courageous enough to say, "Heeey gal! It's been a while already. Can we take this, er, thingy into the next level?" The one where you find out that you somehow figure her out as more of a sister (or brother) than a lover and are fearful to break that link by bringing up this lovey-dovey stuff? Mmmmmh, I feel yah dude/dudette! I feel you. It's a friendzone.
Even though akina Doctor Love (whoever that is) say that the best lovers live as best friends, hiyo huunganishi, ama?
Okay, if you are not sure where you are, let me show you if you've been friendzoned;
- You are good friends, and that is it. No this or that - just gooo-ooood friends. Oh my! I should pity you, but I won't. Good friends you are. Period.
- People think that you two are an item. Mmmmmh, too bad. You can't whisk that away. So your response to him/her when you hear such rumours is like, "Oh come on Trizah! You of all people know that it can't be. You know it will never be..." Bla bla bla... But deep inside, you're hur[rrrr]ting and feeling yipeeeee-ish...
- There are boundaries. Relationship boundaries. Well, you may talk about your "other" relationships but you never talk about how you two feel about each other. That. Is. A. Friendzone.
- Either of you feels hurt when the other seems to be "getting on." You want them for yourself, but you have so gotten used to it that you can now live with it, somehow. Let's pray that it won't be exploding soon. Yeah, can we kneel already?
After knowing where you two stand, here are some possible solutions to you who has been friendzoned;
- Take a step to tell your friend about how you truly feel about them before it explodes in your face - before it's too late. Be ready to deal with the aftermath, because things can really fly nasty.
- Tell them if you are thinking of getting into a serious relationship (whatever that means) with someone else. Prepare them psychologically to deal with the fact that "you're moving on".
- Break that emotional attachment between the two of you - that mind-reading thing. It may be the most difficult to break away from, but it's always worthy it. Save your coming relationship(s), my friend.
Good luck with that!!
Side note: *Trizah and *Andrew only exist somewhere in my thinks.
Bonface Morris.
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