Gloria Muliro’s Divorce: My Views

I know very few married people in the Kenyan Christian fraternity will want to talk about this in the open. We will leave it to the world to blog about it as we always do. I know how laid back we are when it comes to taking action and facing stuff head-on – even when we are seeing how badly the world is seeing these nasty holes within the Church and the marriage institution itself (which is actually the pillar of the Church.) I don’t blame us. I don’t. But I am not going to keep quiet on this one this time round.

You see, when I heard about Gloria Muliro’s divorce yesterday on KTN's Tukuza Show before leaving for church, I was like, “Oh my God!! Is this it? Really?” And the question I have been asking myself is since that time is: what is actually very wrong with Christian marriages today?

Well, you may say, “Aaahhh Morris, you’re still a boy, unmarried, and you lack experience to talk about such issues… Wait until you get married and the going is tough then you’ll blabber all you want…!!” But I’ll answer back and say, “Oh, so you are experienced? Why don’t you then share with us your awesome experiences? Why wait until I am talking then you sway your criticism my way, huh?

Pastor Eric Omba and Gospel artist Gloria Muliro in a previous photo. Photo courtesy of Standard Media.

Marriage is complicated (that is what I hear from most of my numerous number of married friends) but are you not to help the unmarried (like myself) learn from your mistakes so that to build a church that is full of stable families? What is wrong with married people blogging and openly talking about their experiences in marriage? Why do they want us to keep falling in the same holes they fell in… (This excludes my youth patron and a few other awesome elderly people I know who make effort to ensure we don’t fall in the same traps they fell in in their days…)

A few weeks ago, late in 2014, I had this question haunting me: how come married people do not all-of-a-sudden wish to share with us - their previous friends in singlehood and some of us who are already in relationships - about the do’s and don’ts as far as marriage is concerned? Do they all-of-a-sudden meet demons that mute their views on various issues on relationships and marriage? Why don’t they then call us to action to cast out these devious demons?

The story of Gloria Muliro together with that of Betty Bayo which hit our TV screen late last year just fueled my need to get answers to the above questions. The exposure of saved people’s dirty laundry to the public (divorces et al) in a nation like our own where careless/irresponsible/ruthless blogging has become a profession to many idle youngsters is not a fair hit to the marriage institution which plays a big role to church doctrine and Christian values.

With such a revelation of two marriages with hurting women – and who are icons and mentors of many within the Christian community in this nation – it is good to say we (youth leaders/pastors) need to be very keen on who is getting married to who in the church. It may also be an indication that most saved people are masquerades, right? Although it is not right to dictate or choose “who” marries “who” within the church, premarital counseling should never be undermined. Let us not give the devil a loop hole to attack the church and then we later are heard complaining and casting him out yet it was our own carelessness and lack of concern for this institution that build him a home right in our midst!!

This story also reveals that it is possible that we have so many hurting people in Christian marriages who are not able to come out in the open and confess to the entire world (at least to the Christian world) that they need help like our esteemed mothers Gloria and Betty have done. (Issues of infidelity, dishonesty and violence in marriage are almost intolerable, right? And the Bible supports that one can opt for a divorce in such cases...) Is it not true that all we see out here are skeletons of the reality within the marriage institution? That the truth is so blunt that it would kill us with heart/mind-tetanus? Is it possible that a lot of marriages are suffering and that we are all pretending everything is well and are doing nothing about it? Is it also possible that many of we youth are only pretending to have been redeemed by Christ yet we are lions in sheepfolds seeking to prowl, kill and destroy God’s own flock?

Who will answer my questions? Because as far as marriage is concerned, and with all this going on, all the young people around us will need to get answers. Real answers. Solid and real answers. They may pretend they don’t know what is happening and that all-is-well, but deep within their trust and confidence in the marriage institution will slowly be fading away. Someone needs to stand up and tell us, “Heeeeey!! Guys, this is how it rolls... We are all pretenders. (at least.) Our marriages need your fasting and prayers. They need the LORD… When you see us do all the stuff you see us doing, don’t think we have it all figured out out and stuff… we need you too…”

Can’t somebody come up with a solution to these many questions that are now making people in the world go like, “Morris I told you… don’t marry in/from the church!! Don’t. Those guys are all a heck of beautiful pretenders…” (And I’ll want to defend the church as I always do…)

But is this true? Is it true that we are all a crowd of people who are in the church in order to get to snatch the best of what is there yet we don’t even know the LORD whom we are confessing? Is it true that we don’t sincerely love our girlfriends/boyfriends, fiancés/fiancées? Is it true that we are only seeking to use and misuse them? Is it also true that we don’t care so much about the pain we cause them? Is it true that we don’t care about what the LORD says concerning our character, growth and development as Christians? As His children? I don’t absolutely think so. I don’t.

We are not all pretenders. Some of us sincerely love the LORD: both ladies and we guys. Some of us are in church truly seeking God and not women/men, money or fame. Some of us sincerely love our girlfriends/boyfriends. Some of us are remorseful and apologetic when we wrong. Some of us care about how we make our partners and others feel. Some of us care about what ails our character and are ready to become better in the eyes of God. The church is not a mass of callous pretenders. I think there are a few here, in the church, that are spoiling the name of the church but it is not entirely true that we are all messed up and are lacking direction. It is not also entirely true that Christian marriages are not working. No. My parents’ marriage is working. Yours’ too. And many many others…

What do/did they do right that others don’t? That’s the question… and I/we deserve answers.

I am not married, but I will get married one of these fine days. Yes, I will. And this does not mean that I am predicting a faultless marriage on my side. No. We have our own challenges now, and we will have others once we are in the next step. We need guidance… and we will keep praying with the victims... And as far as I am not into marriage yet, I still deserve answers as to why the Church is both successful and also failing in marriage. I wish someone will write me an email on this… Is this too much to ask for?

Bonface Morris.