Talking Point: Millennials, Authenticity and 'Coolness'

In the recent past, talks, podcasts and blogs on millennials and how people can understand and relate with us have emerged. People are trying to define and redefine us, spill bytes upon bytes of advice on how to deal with us, generate talks on what we are and what we are not, and are ineptly consumed in the pursuit of elaborating what we want and what we want not... and whatnot.

Actually, it is like everyone is diverting their attention towards us and how to accommodate us; it is a great gesture, and one worthy of appreciation and admiration.

Note: We define a millennial as someone who was born somewhere between the year 1980 and 2000; authenticity as "a state of being real and genuine, not copied or false" (Merriam Webster Dictionary) and coolness as "a state of adapting to a specific culture in order to be ONE with it".Also, I am of the school of thought that there are two types of millennials; the rational type and the irrational type. This post will mainly favor the views held by rational millennials.

So in the spirit of trying to "reach out to us", understand us or be "acceptable" in our midst, people seem to be in support of this notion that they need to speak like us, think like us, wear clothes like us or chill with us (as a form of present-time "coolness".) That is a good effort but it is not true, not entirely. We desire authenticity more than that hypocritical charade of becoming like us.

I'll explain.

We are different, that's a fact. Millennials are different. That's why it's becoming harder to understand us as the days go by. We are edgy too: always looking forward to the next big/best thing and seeming unsettled, disconnected and discontented. We are obsessed with all kinds of "useless" trends too: fashion trends, music and entertainment trends, gadget trends, internet and social media trends, gossip trends... which all seem stupid to the rest of the people around us. Our phones or trendy gadgets are almost always stuck onto our faces and we are mostly oblivious of what is happening around us because very few things that interest the general public (and especially people older than us) interest us. Yes, we are all that. We are different, but we are not stupid. 

Let me say it again: millennials may be many things but they are not stupid.

Let me go on and help us understand us better by drawing a few contrasts here and there; 

Note: Here are a few general characteristics of millennials:1. We always seem to shift between knowing what we want, who we are and "searching/finding ourselves".2. We have a keen eye and desire for change and are very open to change. Lack of change disturbs us like a plague. Also, we love being at the center of change.3. We always seem to redefine everything across all cultures we exist in, thus painting ourselves as cultural reprobates.

Millennials may seem to hate rules and the law - which may be true in some cases - but we mostly just hate being limited to one way of doing things. Most millennials are charismatics and are greatly driven by vision and "the next big thing" mentality that helps them live extraordinary but very volatile lives. We love being fired up and authentic, so that not many of us will blindly follow a visionless person unless God has really worked on our impatience. We can listen to an elderly person as long they are making sense and are speaking to our greatest needs (both individual and societal needs.) The more spiritual of our kind seem to have a very different and refined definition of what a Christian and spirituality REALLY look like in this generation... Therefore, the faster non-millennials realize this, the better they may influence us towards positive living. 

While looking closely at authenticity, our worldview and how the people around us behave, maybe it is a high time we told the world why it's a big deal to us that someone should seek to be real and authentic than to be "cool" when dealing with us.

Here are a few examples of how millennials think authentic living (living a real, Godly and intentional/purposeful life) differs from "coolness" (trying to fit in and please us). These views represent a major part of the millennial's worldview;

1. Being authentic means speaking the truth to us no matter how unpredictable the outcome may be.

The truth will save us. So just give it to us. Blunt, honest, truth. That's being genuine, and genuine is great. You earn more respect by telling us where that money goes than pretending we don't need to know or that "we are just kids" and we don't deserve to know. You earn more respect from us by explaining why things are the way they are than just dropping us rules and regulations to follow. Also, "coolness" sometimes dilutes truth. We'd prefer if truth is handed down to us just as it is. That'll make us think deeply about it.

2. Being "cool" without content is like a great car that has a spoilt engine: beautiful but utterly useless. 

Have something useful to say to us, if not, shut up. Why? Because we have trained our ears so well that they can sniff unpreparedness and lack of content from miles away. (Sieving through chunks and chunks of information on social media on a daily basis has perfected this in us.) If you have nothing important to say, switch back to point number one: don't force your emptiness on us. Just confess it: "Guys, I'm bilaz what to say today, please bear with me." We do understand, and we'll respect you for that.

3. Live what you preach - that's definition of an authentic life. 

Authenticity, unlike "coolness" lives only but one life wherever it surfaces. I know so many people who are complaining that it is harder to find people of my age group in church, but I am here to say that the reason may be that they are so fed up with Christians who say one thing in church and among fellow Christians and yet do another thing elsewhere: hypocrites and double-minded people. God hates such people. We hate them too, and with lots of passion. If you're not living what you preach, you lost us long time ago. If you want to help us, be yourself, be real, be vulnerable, be like Jesus: live what you preach.

5. Authenticity to us means not putting us all in one bucket. 

Not all millennials are the same. We think differently, we do things for different reasons and we process situations differently. That's what humanity is all about: independence in the use of all our senses and emotions. Authentic people make an effort to understand us as individuals but not as "a group of aimless lads". The less you generalize, the better.

Now, let me show us a very perfect example of the kind of authenticity we desire: Jesus. 

There is no better example in the whole of the universe of a man who maintained being perfectly authentic and yet avoiding to be "cool" like the rest of the people in His time. 

See below how Jesus effectively lived an authentic life (and may millennials and non-millennials alike learn from Him in humble admiration);

1. Jesus had authentic love.
He loved openly and truthfully. He loved like He lived. He loved with grace but also with truth. How He kept that balance between grace and truth is what Christian discipleship is all about. It is the mystery upon which Christian living is founded.

2. Jesus had an authentic emotional life.
He didn't pretend around. He cried when He had to (like at Lazarus' funeral) and when He was angry at the Pharisees, He never pretended to be okay. The one thing that is central with authenticity is this: there is no authenticity minus vulnerability.

3. Jesus had an authentic personal and social life.
What He said on the pulpit while talking to people is what He lived in His private life. No compromise of principles, no change in His state of thinking. Even the Bible says He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8.)

4. Jesus had authentic relationships.
He had friends whom He cared about. He cared for them deeply. How do we know this? He told them. He showed them. They felt it. They knew it.

5. Jesus had an authentic ministry and calling.
Everyone, including His family, disciples and the whole of Israel and its surrounding territories, knew what He had come to do: to set people free, and nothing could block Him from meeting that vision and goal. Every part of His mission on earth was directed towards that vision; which means Jesus was a visionary whose main vision was to see mankind redeemed. Period.

6. Jesus practiced authentic discipleship. 

He not only criticized the common trends in His generation's religiosity, but He took a step and showed those around Him what He really wanted by LIVING IT. He mentored people (and still mentors us today) to be like Him.

See? Jesus, our Lord, and all His life spoke one message: I am authentic. Now, that's the kind of authenticity we want to see in everyone else. 

Here is my parting question: 
Is your life as Christian or a leader or as a common "mwananchi" authentic? And if not, what are you doing about it?

Bonface Morris.