Letter to My Dad

Dear dad,

I was supposed to post this eight days ago but my love for this nation, as you have always taught me, overwhelmed me. I chose to post it today. Please read on...

I have been wanting to write this for a long time - for a really long time. And I am sure you know that I am not pretending. You know that I am not pretending because you have known me all along. You know that when I tell you I have been wanting to write this, it is the truth. You know that it is the truth. The plain truth.
I have been wanting to do this, but time and circumstances have been scolding me out. But now I have gathered time and energy and guts… and I choose to write to you – to a man who has gone through thick and thin, who seems not so great to many but is still one of the greatest men I've ever known. I choose to write to this man – to you - because I want and I need to. I don’t wanna wait for some other day for me to pour out my heart, no. I am doing it right now, I am doing it today.

Dad, this is for you. I don't care if you'll read it or not, but I'm writing it for you. Yes, just for you. And yes, I am still that small, tiny baby of yours, but now just saying things I have wanted to say for a while… right here.

Dad, it has been a while since we experienced life together. It has surely been a while. I have grown older, and you too have aged on. I have grown more independent, and you have become fonder of my mom – you had missed her, right? All those years with you staying out here where I now am, I know you missed her…

I still remember those moments when we used to live together – moments when you used to call me Senior… Do you remember them? I remember them with some sort of astute vigor. They can’t just pale away. No, not ever. I remember not being so good, because I wasn't. I was intolerable. I was a prude. I was rigorous and spoilt (not by you but into my own ways), I was meticulous but messy. Remember?
I still remember how much life challenged us together. You talk about it sometimes. Over the phone. When I visit. Many times. You talk about it many times. I can’t forget where we have come from – you and I. I can’t. I remember how we forged ourselves around life and the Lord our God still made us through. I remember our wanting to doubt His presence because of the conniving amplitude of our grievous circumstances. I remember I told you right in the middle of such moments that I was gonna grow up to become great. You believed it. A little. The problem was that I believed it too much – because that is who I am. I am not yet that great, but I am heading there. You know I will be great one day. You know it, dad.

Now dad, let me go back a few steps - a few years back – when I used to kick at you as a thief. I guess I was only 8, or was it 10? Remember when I used to steal your money? And run away for a couple of days? I worried you. I really did. You beat me up. You wanted me to change. You worked on me really tight.  (Yeah, I was and I still am your only son, but man, you did work on my butts, lol.) Did you ever imagine that I was gonna write you letters like this one? Even once? Okay dad, here I am, all changed but still weird as ever – because as you know it, this is who I am…

Then came the days in my High School when life was really tough. (Only you and mom - and probably Jay - understand it when I say it was tough.) It was tough. But I thank God that they are these moments that brought me closer to Him. They are these moments that begun creating character out of me. They are these moments that have forged the person that I am today. And you know it too. Those High School days made Morris what he is today: a boy who believes too much, never gives up and... lemme leave it at that...

Dad, I have not grown into a man yet - not really. I am still undergoing change. I am still some work in progress. I am some sort of a messed up royal boy (you know I belong to Heaven too.) I have grown up to know a few things about human beings - their volatile nature, their pettiness, their lack of sense in direction, their sarcasm, their greed, their rage... I have had friends, broken out, build trust, broken some and life is still moving on. Yeah, I always move on. I refuse to be stuck in my past. I have made mistakes, I have faced betrayal, I have been lied to, I have had fake and real friends, I have acquired Wisdom, I have accumulated ideas, and my ambitious nature is still flaming on… I have learnt a lot from life already…

Dad, I work (yeah, I am a little lazy but I work). I take care of myself (thanks to God), I serve God, I go to school (yeah, but I never tell you about my school grades though, lol – because I think I have grown up to be accountable only to myself about what I do in school – and dad, you should not however ask those guys in school about my bad manners because man, I am bad news... :-))

Okay dad, school aside, let’s move on… (About school, this will need a face-to-face chat...)

There is another story I need to tell you though – a story about my love life. Have I ever told you that I once met a girl, fell in love, and felt like the moon was dripping honey into my world? Hah, okay allow me to summarize it for you right here…

A few years ago, you shared with me about your story and mom, remember? Yeah, I was keen, listening. (When it comes to this stuff, always be sure that we are listening… :-)) So you shared with me and I was intrigued. After a while, I met this lady. She was great. Yeah she was. She loved the Lord. Oh well, she did. And we fell in love. Oh yes, we did. We truly fell in love. Dad, it was real. It was so real. So real. (Yeah, something close to you and mom.) And we puddled in the oceans of this thing called love for a while. We did. We puddled for a while. For a good while. But later, dad, the sad (or good) thing is that things fell apart. Well, I messed it up. I take the blame as a man. (You taught me this.) No blame games. I moved on.
I am bringing back this story to show you that I tried. I really tried. I think I was a good boyfriend. Well, I later realized that I went in too early – I needed to get a bit older to know a few things about loving someone... I am now single. Single and comfortable. I know a few ladies. I make friends. So don’t be worried about that – bout your only son getting married. I will get married. Some day. (Lol.) I know you are okay with that. I know it because you always encourage me to take my time. Yes old dude, you understand these things…

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Yes dad, you are a great man. I am writing this letter to tell you that you are a great man. I am celebrating you today. We are celebrating you right now. You may not have been angelically perfect, but you have been good to us. You have been a great dad. I will say that your greatness is not determined by how much people think of you but by what me and my sisters know of you as our dad, and what our mom thinks and knows about you. We have laughed together. We have celebrated together. We have cried and wept together. You have never given up on us. Never. You have given us chances to make our own decisions. We make mistakes, but we learn from them and move on. You have loved our mom. You have not been unfaithful as far as we know. You have not been an addict of any sort. You have loved us. You have never ever beaten our mom. (This means a lot to us.) You have not even shouted at her. You have shouted at us, but not at her. We feel and know that you love and respect her. You have given her the freedom as a woman to do whatever she pleases for the well-being of our family. We have grown to love both of you equally. You have never discriminated among my siblings by favoring one at the expense of others. You have treated us equally. (This also means a lot to us.) We have nicknamed you and you have always smiled about it… oh my, which other family calls their dad by his nickname – a weird nickname - and he still goes along with it? Very few. Now do you get what I am talking about? You are a great man. We thank the Lord for you.

Now dad, because you old people don’t love reading long letters, I am going to cut it short by sharing with you a few lessons I learnt from you. I am thankful for the following;

1.     You taught me to grow into a man - into a man whose manhood is not determined by how much he earns or succeeds or by his level of education or by how many women he chases and/or sleeps with, but by how well he treats those around him. At least I laugh just as much as you do and I make just as many friends. As you always said, “Invest in people, the returns will be exorbitant.” I am trying to follow this rule. I am trying.

2.     You taught me to take responsibility. You taught me that in order to be a man worthy my salt, I’ll need to learn to take charge, be available and get committed to something that does not only benefit me, but others too. Yeah, I am also trying out on this one. I am trying to lead. I try to say “I’m sorry”. I try not to shift blames to innocent people. I am not perfect, but I DO try to be responsible.

3.     You taught me to hold my ground and believe in myself. Yes, I think this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Believing in myself has made me to stand strong in my salvation even when all young people my age think that it is crazy to do so. I don’t move with crowds, I seek to stand out. I am my own logo. I am my own command. Dad, some people hate me for this but I think I am cool with it. It has also made me noisy and taught me to stand for my rights and for the rights of others...

There are many things I would want to add into this letter but I can do so some other time… And dad, please tell mom that I will be writing a piece for her soon. Tell her that her-boy-grown-blogger-cum-scientist will be writing something specifically for her. You two mean the whole world to me. I love you both… May the Lord increase and satisfy both of you with blessings and long life.

Your dear son,

Morris.

Note: To all that have never had a father like mine, I dedicate this song by Joel Engle: The Father I Never Had to you all. |God will always be the available Father you never had. May you find comfort in His arms.

#MpeketoniAttack: Possible Solutions

Late yesterday, as I watched football, [sic], I was writing a letter to my dad which I had planned to post on my blog this morning, but things happened to move so fast and I found myself overhearing information on #MpeketoniSiege or #MpeketoniAttack courtesy of Twitter. (Yeah, Twitter is our all-time CNN on this side of the world.) I have therefore chosen, as a patriot and a true Kenyan, to scribble a few notes on solutions to terror attacks that have grown rampant in this nation. I'll still post that letter though - somewhere in the course of this week, I know that my dad will still understand ;-) - so keep peeping...

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As a Kenyan, nothing pains me more than seeing my fellow citizens in such a beautiful and free nation suffer due to lack of insecurity. Just in a period of less than one year, so many have died, so many families have lost their loved ones and pain has been eminent across the country. We have all been affected by these terror attacks I none way or another.

Instead of sitting around and complaining, and as a devoted Christian, I have stopped and prayed: for those families victimized by these attacks. I have also fasted endlessly, (this is not blabbing - God is my witness), and talked to the Lord about our situation and I know that as sure as He listens to our prayer, He is going to come though, help and save us.

But to add on this, I have a few recommendations to the JUBILEE government which I will list below as part of what I think is part of the solution to this problem instead of spending endless days on empty politics and stop-gapping CORD which is just playing its role in ensuring that the government is on its feet and is ardently serving the citizens of this great republic.

Note: I am neither JUBILEE nor CORD.

One of the houses torched by the attackers.

Residents view two vans that were burnt down.

Note: The above images/photos are courtesy of www.standardmedia.co.ke

Here are the recommendations;

1. Allow the Police Force and security organs to use mobile phones as a way of enhancing real-time communication between citizens and our security forces. We are in the 21st century, and you can bet that over 70% of the Kenyan population has access to a mobile phone. At least one out of ten people can access a mobile phone within a walking area of 10 minutes. Let the Police get toll free mobile numbers for every police station across the country and make these numbers accessible for reporting any incidences on suspected terror attacks. It is that easy: dedicate these numbers to suspected terror attacks and once we are done, make them open to other criminal incidences. We all know that calling 112 or 999 in this nation is only comparable to going to the moon by plane: a big failure. Why is it so hard for the government to buy cheap phones and dedicate them to this task? CCTV cameras don't give real-time feedback when such remote areas as Mpeketoni are concerned, mobile phones will help. Someone can report shootings this fast, and the police should be ready to listen to us. (And it doesn’t need to be the police doing it. The government can create a special unit to freely receive information from citizens all day long.) Security agencies should know that we the citizens of this great republic sometimes know more about terror suspects than they do. Give us an open platform to deliver information to you!!

2.   Liaise with foreign governments to obtain security intelligence on terror attacks.  The government should stop being proud and ease itself towards gaining knowledge on how to run our security. Pride precedes a fall. Just this morning, the national broadcaster reported that the Al Shabaab are claiming ownership of the attacks that begun yesterday at 8pm. Intelligence is important and it should not be taken for granted. If western countries begun evacuating their citizens from Mpeketoni in the afternoon of yesterday before the attacks, why didn’t the government act to ask them why they were doing this? Is it not just pride at the expense of innocent citizens?

3.   Security is a priority and the right of every Kenyan, so the government should stop politicizing it. The opposition under CORD has argued that there is need for dialogue to solve the problems facing this nation – amongst them being security. The government has thrown aside such a possibility and the only thing they seem to be good at is heckling away CORD and banning their rallies. CORD may not have requested for the need for dialogue in the best way, but the underlying truth is that dialogue is important to solving the problems we are facing as Kenyans, and the problems we are likely to face in future if action is not taken. Kenya is a democracy and if our government is not autocratic, (although I have a feeling that is where we are headed), it should allow for dialogue to continue for the good of the whole nation. The more we politicize security matters, the more free Kenyan citizens suffer due to the arrogance and pride of our leadership. Open communication in solving a major Kenyan problem should not be underrated or overlooked due to petty politics.

4. Equip our police. I say it again: equip and motivate our police!!! Let me give you an analogy: How can a university student belonging to a campus that has less competence, facilitation and minute infrastructure compete in a market that is overcrowded with other students that are well trained and equipped? He/she can’t. In the same way, let the government first equip the policemen in these highly vulnerable zones before rolling out this upgrade to other areas. I hear that the attackers had better and more sophisticated weaponry – to the extent of even attacking a police station!! This is unacceptable!! We all know that Lamu and Mombasa counties and the major cities and towns in this country are more vulnerable to attacks than any other areas. Why not start with improving police facilities, equipment and remuneration in these areas before any other areas in our country? Why make budget allocations that never benefit the intended purpose? Why is the government not uptight in its priorities as far as governance is concerned? Who advices the president on decision making? Don’t they see and witness these things?

5. Give us the truth. Yes this goes out to all those bosses in the security firms in this nation: please give us the truth. When we are attacked, we need the truth, not second-hand half-truths-and-half-lies!! Stop the speculations by giving us the truth! In this internet age, we always have the truth. We only need you to give it back to us. This is a fact. Make us common citizens trust in you. Make us believe that you are the best leaders to hold those positions you are in. You should stop making the president of this nation and his government looking bad by giving us false information and half-truths. You have been appointed to a task, please carry it out faithfully. Don’t lie to us as you would lie to an animal. We have common sense, we see what is happening, so please just give us the truth!!

6. Stop victimizing Muslims. People could give the best information under the freedom of speech, but once they realize that this information is going to be held against them because of their religious affiliation, you may never get it from them. This is what is happening to our Muslim brothers in this nation: they are being victimized for wrongs (I guess) they have not committed. A basic police training rule says that, “You may never get genuine information from a person you have already concluded to be a criminal…” Of all Muslims in the world, I think Kenyan Muslims are the least radical. I am of the opinion that whoever brings about the chaos in this nation is a foreigner who comes in to radicalize our Muslim youth, and therefore without these foreigners, not many Muslim youth will get entangled in violence and murder. Is this so hard to understand and correct?

I am praying for the affected, but we still need action from our government. We need action to ensure safety to the citizens of this land!

I close my case.

Bonface Morris.

Beauty For Ashes

Note: I delivered this sermon yesterday during our Youth Day at my church. I hope it will be a blessing to you all. All Scripture quotations are from the ESV Bible unless otherwise.

Key verses: 1 Samuel 2:1-8; Luke 1:46-55; Isaiah 61:1-3

If we are keen in our walk with God, each one of us has had an experience in life (and with God) where we have doubted whether He is present in our lives or not...

We attend church, we serve God, we do many things in His name... We may be faithful givers and generous both in the church and to many others out there. We may be the most pious people, those who feign all kinds of hypocrisy... but we seem not to see the results of our labor upon what we need God for...

At this point (maybe), we may be tempted to call out to God like Nehemiah or like Hezekiah - to claim what is rightfully ours as His faithful servants, but it still does not bring out the fruits in our lives and we still cannot experience breakthrough or a favor in our lives (or so we think)...

We may try to proclaim Scripture, dig ourselves into God's Word, become more faithful (just like Hannah did) and later on, after things have failed to work out, we are inclined to make songs like "It Is Well With My Soul" or "Thou My Everlasting Portion" (which are good songs by the way) our official anthems because we have learnt about pain and suffering the tough/hard way.

Doubt then grows within us and our hearts are inclined towards it making us hardened by it. This doubt is not only common, but normal. It is because man is his natural sense is not subjective to pain but to happiness and pleasure.

In short, you are experiencing a season of ashes - where not much seems to work and many things in your life are in chaos.

But the one thing we lack to ask ourselves in this state is: what if God is using our season of ashes to create beauty out of us? What if God is not enjoying our suffering but that He is using it for His glory? What if His plan is to make us better in every area of our lives? The song sang earlier describes this... "What if your blessings come through raindrops? What if your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes for us to know that God is near? What if?"

The apostle Paul was able to celebrate on a few occasion of his ashes because He knew what mannaer of beauty they will bring forth. Read Romans 8:18 and 2 Corinthians 12:1-10.

But ashes do not automatically turn into beauty. They do not. It takes time. And patience. And endurance. It takes God. It takes the Spirit of God to turn ashes into beauty. It is not the working of man that turns ordinary people into extraordinary people... Beauty is not the working of man, but the working of God. Ecclesiastes 3:11 (ESV) says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end...". It is also worthwhile to note that a season of ashes does not last forever - it is only for a moment. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

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God has an order of doing things which He always follows through while dealing with mankind, (especially His children). Unless it is completed, He is not complete with him/her (Romans 5:1-5). He seeks to develop character from us through trials and suffering. It may not be easy, but it is worthy it. Many servants of God had to pass through this season in order to learn how He works and to understand His Will for their lives.

So although your life, your business, your health, your body, your family, your education, your plans may be in ashes right now (a season of pain and suffering which no-one else can relate with but you and God) making you feel that God is absent (and probably uncaring); I assure you that the process is not yet complete - once God is done with you, you'll come out pure and better: Romans 5:1-5; Job 23:10; Hebrews 12:3-11.

There are examples of people who were expunged from ashes and transformed into beauty: Abraham, Moses, Job, Joseph and the example of Hannah we read earlier on.

These people discovered a few things about what God was doing in their lives and this caused them not to easily give up. Faith worked them out of their situations when they believed in God. And on the account of their faith, Hebrews 11 was written. We celebrate their beauty today regardless of how ashed they had earlier been i.e. people laughing at Hannah and Sarah for being barren.

So, people of God, what turns the ordinary into the extraordinary? Ashes into beauty?

Here are some few facts to consider;

1.    The anointing (the Holy Spirit) - an example is Saul in 1 Samuel 10:1-8. After Saul received the anointing as Samuel poured oil on his head (as a sign of the Holy Spirit), he became extraordinary. Saul and his family did not know that losing those donkeys was going to be God's highway to blessing them and making them the first family in the whole of Israel!!

2.    Faith that comes with the calling of God and surety that comes with God and His Word (Isaiah55:10-11). They believed that God can do whatever He says and they NEVER EVER change their minds about it. They had been given a task and they were ready to take it on to the end because they knew the Lord was with them - as He had promised.

3.    Confidence in who they are in God. (Job 19:25 and Psalm 42:5-11.) This moved them not to doubt that they are in His plan, thus although they were tempted to doubt (as shown in Psalm 13), they still held on to Him who was able to accomplish what He said.

Brethren, can we therefore strive to gain knowledge of God's Will for our lives (as shown in Hosea 4:6) so that we may understand the season through which God is making us grow through because a reward awaits us after the suffering for a good cause? (Romans 8:18 and 1Corinthians 15:58)?

Let us pray about this so that these seasons may be well defined before us and that we may gain a heart of endurance and patience as we await God's strength to come on us and create beauty out of our ashes...

God bless you all.

Bonface Morris.