We
live in an era and a world filled with colossal exposures.
In
such a world, we have the freedom to see and judge as we please. We have the
freedom to use our eyes and overblown antics to look around, smirk (if we are
excused to), run wild with disgust over what we have seen (in others) and maybe,
sometimes, talk about it.
We
also have the freedom to like and dislike – especially the behaviour of the
different people we meet daily. We can have different opinions of people as we
interact with them – it is the nature of man – and may become over judgmental
of their misdemeanours, their handling of life and their reaction to different
seasons in life. So, with time, we get used to it and it (in one way or
another) becomes our daily bread. It becomes
stamped into our character – analyzing people on the basis of our varied
observations.
I
don’t excuse people who observe and judge others (including myself) especially
in matters involving behaviour and personality, especially if they do it
positively; I just think we have the right to do so – considering that there is
always someone else doing the same to us. But we don’t justify our hawking and kiting abilities because others are likely to be doing the same
of/to us. We do so because every society needs people like us (allow me to
justify myself here) who make observations - even the most stupid ones – and help (but never force) others to see things the
way they do...
Man’s
ability to interact with other people effectively and in a well built and conscious
social standing heightens in their teen age. By the time we are in our teen years, we realize that we need friends around us (maybe
people to rely on or a people that may need our reliability) and we therefore
start building our character basis. Our friends influence above 60% of our
personality range. Side note: Spare me
the need to quote any references, anthropological evidence and literature
review here mun! This is a blog, and not a research website... But I may do it
one day if need be...
So
as we advance in age, there is a tendency to incline our behaviour towards one
direction, and as I have mentioned above, towards and somewhere between what
our social and relational standing depicts. Our environment invades the privacy
of our behaviour and our reaction towards those near us. We then start seeing a
lot in people and in their myriad of personalities somehow – just somehow- we
begin formulating within our minds ways of interacting with them. This is
because we are social beings and we just can’t avoid meeting and living with
people. We can’t avoid the reality of impeding companionship and/or loneliness
while in this world. Truth be told, and loud enough, we need people around
us... people we will always have one or two things to say about them...
It
is this view of the natural social relations we have with others that makes me conclude
that there is a group of people called “the ‘aki
woishee’ people”. You don’t have to get the outright translation of what
that really means but according to
me, what defines these kinds of people is vast.
The
way the ‘aki woishee’ people see the
world around them astonishes me. They see the world in bits of what other people
can do [for them] rather than what they can do for the people around them. I
tend to think they grow up relying on relief
and philanthropy. They happen to do nothing on their own and accomplish it. They
are niggards and empty braggarts... Maybe to help you get their view of life
and mentality (and remember that they don’t have to use the phrase ‘aki woishee’ to claim for anything from
you for them to qualify to fit in this group), I list below the symptoms of
such a detestable personality;
1.
If they were (or are) one
of your friends in high school, they;
o
Will always beg for pens,
erasers, books, assignment help and stuff from you but will never have any to
lend you – always
o
Will give you excuses when
they are visited at school as to why they couldn’t give you any of the goods
they were brought by their parents – always
o
Will ask for your hand in
getting them money for fare back home and never remember to give it back to you
– always
o
Will copy your homework
but you may never copy theirs because they will always submit it before all
others - even you – always… and the list is endless…
2.
If they were (or are) your
friends at campus, they will;
o
Come to your cube (or the
place you stay), spoil themselves with all your stuff – from cologne, to movies,
TV and music, to food, to your clothing line… and brag about it to your
immediate buddies but – yeah, but – you may never visit their place – always
o
Never care when you miss class, but will
always be like, “Aki woishee Morris, kwa nini hukunicall uniambie kuna class!”
Gheeeeest!
o
Always submit assignments
ahead of you and pretend they are not through with them. Ukijiweka kwao, wololo! Shauri yako! Utakunywa soups kiasi kupita pipa!
o
Always be broke, as in, broooooooooooke the whole semester. That
simply means that they’ll be avoiding supporting you in any way financially.
3.
If they are your friends
in the real world;
o
They will always borrow mkwanja from you and never pay back
because they have this mentality that you own a bank or that your dad is a
tycoon who lends air to some town dwellers somewhere
o
They will (if they are
religious) con you in the name of Jesus. Petty people with petty business these
ones – and they will forever think that the blood of Jesus somehow prevents you
from realizing their conniving ways thus misusing its value
o
They will only flash, beep
and text you but still never finish conversations they begun after you call
them. They will beep you for you to call so that they may just say, “Hi!”
o
Woe to you if they become
your visitors. They will;
-
Never assist in paying the
monthly bills they help to escalate
-
Ask you for credit and
petty things like “transport to go to town” and when you won’t be giving them in
the name of “I don’t have money for now”, they will give you a silence
treatment for a week or so…
-
Do nothing but expect
everything to be done for them,
-
Complain and demand to be
treated like you treat your family or someone close to you
And lastly…
4.
If they are your
boyfriend/girlfriend, fiancé/fiancée, you will be in big trouble, because they
will;
o
Demand that you buy them a
heaven, but never even appreciate it even after you have struggled to give them
one
o
Feed on your sacrificing
power, exploit your kindness and smile away at your endless perspiration to
meet their emotional, social (and maybe financial) needs
o
Assume that you are a god
of some kind and therefore refuse to support you and show you affection, thus
leaving you drained and exhausted as you struggle to make them feel safe and good.
o
Lie to you and can become
unfaithful and dishonest. Their reaction to your protests against their bad
behavior will always be a dense cloud of silence or a blame game. Pathetic
people these ones.
o
They refuse to grow up and
move the relationship into the next level while blaming it on you as the
unprogressive one.
My
plea to you if you are one of their many friends is simple: help them learn about
life the hard way. Refuse to be too good
to them. Refuse to be taken for granted. Refuse to be their puppet. Refuse to
follow their governmental orders.
Refuse to do things their way. Yeah, help them learn the way of life the hard
way. You will be helping their next victim. Refuse to be empathetic. Refuse to
give them a second chance. Refuse to give them favors. I know you may be a Christian
and wanting to be extremely good and
sympathetic, but let no one take your
kindness and meekness for granted or as a weakness. Refuse to compromise your
joy, peace and happiness. Refuse to be the devil in the relationship. Refuse to
be the lesser part of the deal. Refuse it all. Help them learn about life the hard
way by denying them the undeserved pleasures
of life. Of course you must be gracious and merciful, loving and kind, but give
people limits as to where they should step – and always in a civilized way. It
may just help them switch away from their agonizing mentality…
Bonface Morris.
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