Of Conferences and Behavioral Puddings

I have been there for four days already, no, five; and as expected, I was excited from the moment I realized that I was going to be there for a while. Excitement (I am told) is the catalyst of liking "new experiences". So I was excited mainly because, well, it is normal to be excited; and subwayly because it is abnormal not to. Feigning disgust where the soul should be mesmerized has never helped No?

I went there (maybe) for more than just one reason - so I think. And obviously (to me), I now think that I should stop thinking and instead confess that there should be more than one reason as to why people go to such places: the main known reason and the main unknown reason. The latter is never entirely known (as we love pretending to brand it) but is discovered in the course of existence. The former seems to be the determining factor but it can't survive without the latter. One who exists only for the former enjoys new things in a rather conventional way, but we should not glory only in it because then, we will be killing our mortality...

*I think I've gone out of place there. I think it's some sort of script thunk...*

Maybe I went there for a change of environment because, well, things there were different. Maybe I went for a-kind-of general change. Maybe. Sometimes I don't know things, you know. I don't have to. I don't feel that I have to. 

I may have gone there for excitement or to satisfy it (the excitement). Or both. Or to meet new people. New people? Maybe. I "meet" "new people" everyday anyway: in real life, on  Facebook, on Twitter... I have a bunch of them to deal with on a daily basis. What I am poor at is meeting them. Yeah, meeting them. It may be because I screw them up in my mind before saying, "Hi!?" or that I sometimes just need my uninterrupted "me space" so much so that I push them away before I even approach them. 

So as I "meet new people", I have come to realize that (probably) I enjoy hacking into their minds as an opening to having an experience with them. I am a mind mole of some kind who prefers to know someone on my own before knowing them through receiving information from them. I think I'm very good at that - and I just feel that it is part of what I was there for - in that, I later reward myself for a job well done whenever my predictions are proven to be true after engagement. I do that. I don't care if you shoot me for that or something... ;) I do it anyway.

Side note: In the near future, I should concentrate more on reducing my mind-screwing tendencies *Dear Lord, help me*.

So now I know you think you know why I had gone there but you know what? (I know I should not use that in writing, but well, I author the rules here) I went there for so many things: most of which I have no idea about. Excuse me!? Last time I checked on wisdom, it was written that you can't know all things, right? Yeah, you now get me.

I was at a youth conference organized by my church under the Youth Department. It happens annually. It was in Meru this time round. Young people from all over Kenya come to such places to almost do what I come to do, but weirdly so, in a rather peculiar way.

I love conferences. They are an epitome of a mobile, radical and active society. A complete society. I love complete societies. I love the spiralling of diversity into one great vision and course. I hate sameness. Sameness is boring and predictable. I hate predictability; unless it is about the blessings of God or the rapture.

It is here you meet an illusion of disjointed temperaments. I love this because existing in such spheres is like a game to me. Some kind of mind game. This is where I use the array of opportunities relayed to me to put my mind to work by studying people: by endlessly talking about them in my mind. There were different kinds of young people. There were those you'll keep on asking yourself in a rather sarcastic tone, "Heeey! Is that a youth?" and those you'll keep doubting if they make sense - even to themselves.

My mind has somehow perfected the ability to collect data on people's personalities basing on first impressions. First impressions may not be the true story about people and their personalities, but they are a good pointer towards what to expect from such people.

These data are stored somewhere in a "brain database" that is frequently updated to merge with paradigm shifts in behavioral trends. I may not be accurate all the time, but this helps me get to know people even without talking to them. People are therefore put in categories which determine how I will (or may) work myself around them.

Here are some of them as the maxim for this post and leaning mostly on the guys I "met" at the conference (Studies courtesy of Morris et al ;)):

1. The "Hallelujah!" team

Most of them sit at the front in most conference sessions. They are qualified in shouting the loudest at almost everything that is said. They are the preacher's best partner, and the worship leader's best charmers. It is not necessarily because they are keen and adherent to what is being said, but because they are good at "fooling" the preacher and the worship leader that they are the best listeners. They heckle and jeer their best and maintain a "sober" mood throughout the event. Most of the time they are just attention seekers hidden in the skin of mindful young people. They are the main reason as to why I prefer being a backbencher in most conferences. I wish we had medals for them...

2. The fashionistas

OMG! I used to be one of them. #TrueStory. Remember those days when I used to wear ties to and in conferences? What about those days when I was almost carrying suits to conventions? Remember when I used to prefer a formal dressing code to a casual one, and when I used to care too much just because I had forgotten my iron box at home? Remember when I used to change into evening wear from wanting to have a "decent evening look"? Yeah, that proves that I have ever been a victim of fashion and style in conferences - until I became old. It is then that I thought that swag was all about the grooming. Just like them, I cared too much about what I wore, how I wore it, when I wore it and why... I now care less. Yeah, you can hang me already, but I care less.

3. The melodramatic kings and queens

Just like the first group, these are attention seekers too. The added weirdness is that they are cheap and stupid. They desperately seek to stand out as comedians - fake comedians. They sit on or take "your" chair in your absence. If you queue for food or any other goodies, they'll make themselves the indomitable first place holders. Of course they expect you to react to their actions so that drama may unfold. And drama does unfold - if you too are into drama. 

4. The Saints

There are moments you wish you were like them, you know: the waking up early to attend morning devotions, the sitting in the front pew as "good disciples", the discipline with which they carry themselves, the angst in their eyes, gestures and movements... But those moments of endless adoration suddenly fade away once you spot out some few things about them;

a) They are too good. Yeah, that kinda gets into my nerves. Being good is great, but it pushes us away. It makes us run away from you wondering at what you may be hiding underneath...

b) They have no social life. Hold on. That means that you have to breath, eat and drink Scripture with them lest you be tagged the unspiritual one.

c) There's no 'being real' in their world. They are mortals that hail their lives in immortal codes. They refute close engagement with the opposite sex. To them, God has to initiate and do all things. They are absurd. Really absurd.

They appear radical by getting involved in almost every important session that comes along, but, well, I am radical too...;)

I avoid them. I normally think that they belong to another world altogether, a world I'm not worthy to fit in.

5. The "Me" team

I belong here. The problem is: I can't describe myself quite well. But there are few things people like me do in conferences: we mind our own business, we sit at the center or at the back of the hall, we are mostly social and antisocial at the same time, we get involved in the available activities but with limited commitment, we positively (and negatively) judge and criticize almost everything that happens or that we come across, we miss meals (a hand clap please) because we either prefer eating 'out' or we disappear to go out to have fun only to come back and find out that everything that matters has already happened... Foodies may belong here too. We are the weird type. Mostly, we do nothing. Our interests are diverse. We fit in all societies. And that's why we love conferences: new environments, new experiences and new people.

Does that make us carnal? I don't think so. I think it makes us normal. *Huko ni kujitetea.*

So as I write this post (I'm in a bus heading back home by the way) I am wondering if you belong to one of the groups above or if you have your own. It actually doesn't matter. What matters is if you are able to enjoy the conferences, conventions or seminars you attend, because either way, you should always come out changed and with lots of new friends...!

Keep the effort buzzing.

Cheers!!!


Bonface Morris.