The Day a Man Marries

On that very day a man marries, the woman weds. Yes, on that very day one marries, the other weds. You may see it in his eyes. Or maybe in his best man's. Or maybe on his suit. His best wedding suit. It may be written all over it. Or in the confidence and 'pettyness' with which he holds anything. Or how he holds everything. Or in the distant feeling within the stealth in his eyes. He's getting married… and you surely will see it in the way he sniffs the air around him. Differently. Nonchalantly. Busily. But easily. Yes, that's what happens to a man the day he marries. 

On the day a man marries, another one is born. The old one dies. Maybe partially. Maybe completely. Maybe forever. Maybe not ever. But, whatever the case, another is born. Different from the first. He dies. The old one dies. And a new one is born. Maybe quieter. Maybe more solemn. Maybe passive. Maybe not. Well, sky over earth, another is born. And the new one almost always kills the old one. Almost always. He has to in order for him to survive. The old one fades away as the new one takes over. Yeah, I know. I know this truth that the old man may want to sneak in from time to time with a desire to kill the new one. I know he has a way with not wanting to completely vanish - where he intrudes the new man's privacy and new life. But be that as it may, he can never take over the new one. It is true.

On the day a man marries, he tightens his belt. He also tightens his heart. And his eyes. He tightens his heart. He then weeds the garden that are his thoughts and often looks at the framed picture of his dad, err, his  father. Quite often. He looks at it with wonder. He wonders just how fast he's joining his league. Then he chooses to change. He changes his walk, his talk, his hiding; and even the way he smirks. The day he marries he grows up. He has to. He becomes a leader. He rules his world. Not with fists and terror, and bother, but with diligence and fervence and love. Yeah, he may toddle in these ways, but he steadies fast. He grows up.

Oh that day a man marries, he becomes a perfect stranger to himself. Even to his OWN mirror. Even to his own walls and corridors. The whole earth becomes an alien the day he marries. And he wonders why. And how. And what. But it happens. It is what happens when men marry.

So when he marries and picks up a new pair of shoes at the altar - shoes he has never worn - and the crowd is gazing at him; some in bewilderment, some with regret, some with desire and others with fury; when he marries and they are gazing at him in that way, let him remember that beyond that day, his surroundings will scream at him louder with expectancy with every passing moment. He should know that the very congregation that is cheering him on is going to expect much more than the veils and suits or flowers and balloons he has offered to display. It is going to want so much more than he (together with his partner) can afford to give. Let him remember (I am told) that the one wedding him in this day needs him - she'll be needing him for a lifetime. That she is now him, and him, her. That they're going to build bridges and hunt lions, and deers, and rabbits, and troubles together. That they're going to cry, and sing, and feel bored, and feel like giving up - but they'll need to hold it together.

I am told many things about 'the day a man marries', but above them all, what I hold onto most is: when a man marries, the Lord God is right there with him. He is there with them. He is watching and is waiting to lead him and bind him to the one wedding him, and the best thing he can ever do (while joining hands with the one wedding him) is to learn to daily tell Him (the LORD God who created them), "Dear Lord, here we come again…" I am told that the unison of those words makes ways through mighty rivers and can calm the most fierce of fires and storms - but first, he needs to marry…

Note: This one I dedicate to my two buddies, Antony and Ben, being bound to some very awesome ladies out there.
Guys, remember that many things DO happen when a man marries, and each one is for his own good.

Bonface Morris.