Thursday, January 7, 2016

Personal Growth: Here's What You Need to Know About Growth

Quote: Grow! Because you can, because you should and because it is good. - Me

Guys, I've been wanting to write. True story. You know, like when I wake up and I just wanna pen down my first blog of the year and stuff like that; like I wanna tell you people, "Alright, I know. It is a new year and I need to unload all my petty wisdom onto a blog to leave y'all oooh-ing and aaah-ing e.t.c. e.t.c. while at the same time I'm trying to play God by giving you instructions on how to walk through the year..."? But then, when I'm almost grabbing my phone and/or keyboard to type that "gibberish" and bring life to this cursor, life happens, and I postpone it into the next day.

(Come on, maybe I'll beat this cursor at its own wars this year, who knows?)

And I've been forgiving myself to have been doing this over and over again. (And this is not the "forgive yourself and move on" kind of mantra-ish cliche, but the "forgive yourself because you deserve it" type.)

So, I've ended up writing.

This post is for everyone. It is for those of us who make resolutions at the beginning of the year, the ones who think of a New Year as a "new beginning", as something breathed by a god, some gift from God, as an opportunity, as a brand new page, blah blah blah... And it is also for those of us who make resolutions and set goals throughout the year, those who only see the 1st of January as the result of a ticking clock once made possible by an infinitely eternal God. (Time is in His hands, no? He created time. Time is because He was.) These ones look at a New Year as a mere change to the calendar(s) of men (anyway, even mankind disagrees on dates and times...) and that what was will continue to be unless man decides to make such and such a change.

This blog is for the planner and also for the one person who is reluctant to take action; for the fearless and the bold. It is for everyone. It is for the one who acknowledges that growth (undergoing development and achieving a specific level of maturity) is necessary because we can grow, we should  grow and because it is good to grow.

Now, whoever you are and wherever you are, here are the few things to note about personal growth and achieving a better you:

1. Personal growth is more about you than it's about us.
Rant all you want about all you've been through, about where you are, about where you come from, about all the "fake" people you grew up amongst (there ain't nothing like that anyways), about your level of education or your limited exposure to it, about your lack of "connections", about how "unkempt" and directionless your leaders are, about your tiny church na watu unadhani hawaoni mbele, about the limited resources that are at your disposal, but you know what? It doesn't take anyone else to change you. It only takes you to begin the change in you. You are the first step towards your own personal growth. You are the first bold and unequalled step towards a better you. You are. Other people have so tiny an effect on what you choose and decide for yourself. So work on how you view growth as an individual, rather than how you see it through the eyes of those around you. It's all about you. (And God helping you make it of course.)

2. Growth occurs differently in everyone and it takes different courses and amounts of time.
You can't say, "I wanna be slim like so-and-so in the same way/time they achieved it." You'll die, man. And we'll bury you. And that'll be end of the story. But you can say, "I wanna lose weight, drop a bad habit or two, become better in such and such a thing only the way I can, so dear Lord, give me all the Wisdom, will, skill, people and strength I need in order to achieve this." Then you'll make it.
Here's how it goes: you may use another person's success or progress to measure your level of growth, BUT NEVER use it to compare the two of you in relation to the same area of growth. You'll die. And we'll bury you. (And, of course, we'll eat at your funeral.) Then that'll be the end of the story.

3. It doesn't matter what people are saying. If you're on the right track, keep going.
You cannot grow unless you shut your ears to all kinds of naysayers. Don't allow your motivation to be thwarted by prophets of doom. If you're on the right track, and God agrees with it, honey, keep going. You'll make it.

4. There are things that change through declaration, then there are things that change through hard work, effort and commitment. Notice the difference.
Lemme say that again: prayer and claiming God's promises in Scripture are good. All great (yes, not "good", not "average", but "great") Christians should practice both. But those two should never replace hard work, commitment, faithfulness, dedication, determination, truth and focus. Let God play His part as you do yours. 

You may pray all you want, but always remember "Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth." (Proverbs 10:4, NIV) and God blesses the works of our hands, not empty talk: (Psalms 90:17, NIV) "May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us - yes, establish the work of our hands.")

5. Do what needs to be done, and stop calling it a resolution.
Yes, sometimes we just need to do what should be done. It's called growing up. It's called maturity. It's called taking responsibility. And most of such stuff ain't no resolution.
You know when people should just pay their tithe, or love and care for their bae or family, or pray and read Scripture via their Bible apps and they claim these are resolutions?
Resolution? What resolution? You SHOULD be doing those things already. Just do them, man/lady.

6. If your growth may depend on another person in one way or another, then they need to be focused on achieving it in the same way you do.
Yes, the success of some of our goals may be intertwined with other people and what they do. And yes, that can bring us to a real slowdown if the other party reiterates on a go-slow.
Relationships or marriage or worship teams or an organization at startup level or a business are such examples. Anything involving the absolute consensus of two separate entities can only succeed when both parties unanimously agree that the page they are opening and the growth they want to experience is what it should be. (So help us Dear Lord.)


7. It's normal not to grow all the time. You shouldn't grow all the time.
That "what's the next big thing" mentality is a dangerous mentality. It's not a bad one, but it puts us in a dangerous place. It makes us think we are failures the moment growth isn't experienced.
God rested. On the seventh day, He rested. That doesn't mean that He wasn't doing anything. Rest is something. Rest helps us reflect on growth, so that when growth pauses, we may use that time to reflect on things and say, "Yeah, it is good. So far, it is good." Rest helps us use that time to see where we may have overgrown or "undergrown".

So now, in conclusion, God desires that we grow. All the time. And no matter the perspective we may have about a new year and personal growth, here's one verse that proves God desires continuous growth in us: Psalms 1:3 (NIV) "He (the Christian) is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."


Bonface Morris.

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