Well, to answer the question
above, sincerely, I don’t know. Each case is different and unique at many
levels. But I do have an idea and I am sharing it with you below.
*******
Leaders deal with this issue
of quitting members all the time. Imagine a leader in some kind of monologue:
“Phew! Why did so-and-so REALLY leave? Was it my mistake?
Was I a bad leader to them? Am I a bad leader? Will my “bad” leadership
therefore lead to more and more of these that are remaining to leave too? What
if (insert name of a member of the team that TOTALLY got the leader’s back)
left too? Oh LORD, I would die… Please just take me HOME already, this is too
much…”
And the story goes on and on
and on…
 |
| When members leave, it is always a source of stress and a season of endless self-scrutiny to the leader. |
In my tiny capacity as a
leader, I've had quite a number of leaders complaining about people quitting
their teams. Of course every leader takes it personally when a member of
his/her team leaves:
"Did I do something
wrong?"
"Was it the right
decision to be made at that time? Am I this unbelievably bad that they can’t
trust me to lead them anymore?”
“Can they please (just please,
yes, please) drop me an email or a WhatsApp or a text message [sic!] or
anything and state the reason/s why they left?”
Some of us have a tendency of
becoming temperamental in the heat of the moment and end up yelling at the
remaining members of the team: "You
can as well leave! I won't hold you back!! So-and-so went because this wasn't
their place, they weren't important to our mission!!"
And as the matter becomes
frothy - thanks to pride - we end up not apologizing for the unintended
yelling. As a result, more people leave. And the cycle continues: it adapts an
auto-repeat status which in due course leaves the leader running solo. Pride is such an evil master!
And those who remain, albeit
unwillingly, keep on asking themselves, "So
someone existed on our team who was not important to its mission?" And
sarcastically, the next time the team meets, the leader, while still squirming
and soaking in the bad blood of yester days, would unknowingly answer back and
say, "Yeah, I feel the Lord is
taking away the weight that was weighing us down."
But realistically speaking, the
rest of the team would inherently figure out it, shake their heads in private
and conclude that it has never occurred to them that they could have had on their
team (or if you please, the Lord would allow on their team) someone who was not
supposed to be there. Life is not a game of betting and chances. That person
served a purpose, and because they are now gone, they’ll be missed. It may be
dumb, but it’s still a purpose.
“On the contrary, the parts of the body that
seem to be weaker are indispensable.” (1 Corinthians 12:22, NIV)
*******
So after weighing in on the
kind of relationships that are birthed between the leader and the remaining
members of the team after other members have left (like the one above), I came
up with a few things that cause people to leave teams. This isn’t conclusive,
but it is a good place begin.
People leave teams because of
a few things:
1.
Bad or poor leadership
Poor leadership would mean anything
from a leader that doesn’t know how to lead and handle people to one who keeps
on forgetting what he/she should be doing as a leader in the first place. I am
a victim of both quite a number of times (so help me LORD).
Here is the reality;
a) When a leader leaves his/her team feeling eroded instead of
growing up and feeling burnout instead of refreshed, it is because the leader
has neglected their duty of adding value into the team’s life. Most
growth-oriented people will not hesitate to leave if left in this position for
sometime.
b) When the leader is not valuing an individual’s input to the
team and this member feels that there might be another [better] place where
their input may be felt and appreciated, they’ll leave. Leaders that are so
mean with words of affirmation or praise will always face this reality in the
long run.
c) An arrogant leader who doesn't value team work and sees no
need to seek for feedback from the team while making important team decisions
will always lose people. Always. People want openness, so if they are not
getting it, they won’t stick around for long.
d) Team members will always quit a team where the leader is
abusive and divisive either in the use of power or in the execution of rights.
 |
| A bad leader is abusive and divisive either in the use of power or in the execution of rights. |
e) Vision hungry team members will leave a team where the
leader lacks a straightforward vision for the team and where the leader
provides no definite strategies towards running the team’s mission (if present).
A team that keeps moving in circles can’t survive the steam of an ever-changing
sub-culture.
f) When the team’s vision no longer serves to help team
members reach and fulfill their life goals as far as service is concerned,
members will lack zeal and they’ll drop away.
g) Members of a team whose strength is action (the desire and ability
to act on things and execute plans without delay) will always feel discontented
with a leader who refuses or eternally delays to take action to stop things or
issues that are threatening the team's ethics and unity i.e. gossip, the
welfare of members etc.
h) A leader who refuses to take responsibility for his/her own
failures (like the one I gave in the example above) but either keeps blaming
innocent members for his/her own failures or pretends that nothing is wrong
when everything is falling apart will lose as many members as there are sands
on the shores of the Indian Ocean. Just the other week, Andy Stanley (one leader whom I greatly admire and respect) had to give an apology for a statement he made about small churches. He
owned his mistake, and it helped him gain our trust again.
i) When the leader is a coward who cannot take risks to move
the team into a better place or to new ground, he/she loses the trust of the members.
No one wants to trust someone who is only comfortable with where they are and
does not show signs of moving forward.
2.
Carnality or immaturity
A carnal person is jumpy.
Spiritual toddlers are never settled in the same place. They will always move
out regardless of the type of leadership in a place (whether good or bad).
These people are easily persuaded by the devil to leave teams and it therefore
becomes a spiritual battle for the leader. Leaders shouldn’t blame themselves
for people who refuse to grow, yet threaten to leave.
3.
The devil is at work
Remember what he did to Judas
Iscariot in Jesus' day? Jesus was a great leader, but Satan convinced one of
the closest members in His team (Judas) to sell lies about what Jesus’ ministry
was all about. Judas left, Jesus suffered rejection (which is very common
amongst leaders today), Jesus’ team got divided and shriveled for a while and probably
everyone thought, “Aaah, this is done! He
was just like every other useless leader we see!!” But thank God that,
later, Judas’ lies were exposed, Jesus’ reputation as a leader remained intact
and His team came back with a bang! With the intervention of God, Satan’s
lies will always be exposed and God’s work will go on.
Matthew 16:18 (KJV) “…and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of
hell shall not prevail against it.”
 |
| Gossip is one of the major sources of division/s and lack of trust in a team. |
The devil may also cause
influential members of a team to spread stale, unverified, inappropriate and [sometimes]
dirty rumors/gossip about the leader or about each other that will end up
harming the team's spirit of unity and purpose. This will cause the bond of
unity between the leader and the rest of the team members to weaken, making
many members to leave, or causing divisions within the team. It is all the
devil’s work.
His work can also step in
further and cause members of a team to start undermining the leader’s ability
to lead. They may do this openly or in public when al the team members are
present. Eventually, they may end up taking over the leadership or unlawfully
expelling the leader out of the team.
*******
You now realize that not all
people leave teams for the same reasons. Some are genuine, while others are
diabolic. The leader needs to sit down, analyze himself/herself and those under
him/her and find out the causes of the vanishing team members.
Any team member is justified
to leave a team because of the reasons in Point Number 1 above. Anyone who is
haphazard in decision-making won't stay in such a team. Also, why stick with a
team which isn't going anywhere and one which lacks a sense of direction? But
for the second and third reasons above, the leader needs to understand that
he's facing a spiritual battle and that "...we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but
against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over
this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly
places" (Ephesians 6:12, ESV) and
therefore, the leader should pick up their armor and fight the good fight of
faith and allow God to win the war for him.
Bonface Morris.
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