 |
| Open-mindedness |
It is mostly put across by a person who wants everyone else around them to live and figure out life the way they do and the disgust is usually due to a difference in opinion, taste or preference... But what such a person rarely sits down to consider is this: do they think that they too are LIKEABLE by everyone else? Really?
*******
I love the world we live in today. Reason being that everyone has the freedom to choose what to like or not to like. That is a good thing, no? The problem only comes in when we want other people to like the same things we like in the same way we do. That brings about war because it is impossible and also unpleasant.
The dictionary definition of open-mindedness is "an inclination to tolerate or overlook opposing or shocking opinions or behavior" (WordWeb Dictionary.) And I'll take the old definition of tolerance which is the willingness to recognize and respect the beliefs and practices of others as my guide-stick of the type of tolerance I'll be talking about. Please note that the kind of tolerance I'll be favoring in this post is not the postmodern one that "accepts, favors or supports ALL the beliefs and practices from other people without question" but one that "recognizes and respects those beliefs and practices." Notice the difference.
Okay, let's move on...
Each one of us has met (or has been) the person with reactions like the one in the first paragraph above: someone who only sees what is wrong in everything and everyone else. They think the world revolves around them and unless something is done their way or an opinion favors their own, everything else is bad and unworthy. They always think they are God. Well, if they were God, I would have no trouble accepting their world view, but they are not. (Anyway, even God is very much open-minded - we see it in the person of Jesus Christ as He walked this world.) Such people make very poor company. They are the kind of friends you won't what to introduce to your other friends who look at life from a very different angle. They are mostly what I call "mtu-wa-rafiki-mmoja" (the one-friend person) because it may be that only this friend tolerates their nonsense. They tolerate nothing/no-one out of their normalcy and only see things at face value. They aren't flexible and are therefore very domineering.
Now, here are the few things such people do (can we just call them, for the sake of this post, closed-minded people?);
1. First impressions are EVERYTHING to them.
Once someone flops the first time they meet them, they will ALWAYS be losers. End of the story.
2. They don't offer second chances.
They stink of perfectionism: there should be no error, no jokes, no nonsense... and people are always judged according to who they were 10 years ago. Either that, or not; end of the story.
3. They can't have fun for the sake of having fun (PS: I'm talking about good, responsible fun by the way).
Their idea of having fun has to go all the way to: who will I be with? what kind of fun is it? where is the fun at? and why should I have fun at all? If whatever is proposed is outside what they want, they're out. End of the story.
4. They make judgments and draw conclusions at face value.
They rarely research or inquire in order to understand people more nor do they take time to see the world from a different perspective. They lack respect for anyone who is not in their class (socio-economically, spiritually, fundamentally or age-wise.)
5. They are indifferent and rigid to change.
Change terrifies them because they love their comfort zones. New ideas terrify them because they tend to live in the past - in their "perfect" pasts.
6. They refuse correction and a second opposing opinion on almost everything.
They always want to have the upper hand in all decisions and discussions and would even leave a discussion just because people aren't in sync with how they feel/think about the subject of discussion.
7. They are narrow-minded, are obsessed with "reading people" and are continuous victims of negative automatic thoughts. Read more on automatic thoughts here.
Explaining what they are in detail may actually require me to write another blog, but in short, they are spontaneous thoughts and opinions on things and people around you.
Well, people with the characteristics listed above (and the ones above are just a tip of the iceberg) tend to make life unbearable for others and themselves. This is revealed in the following ways;
1. How they talk to and interact with people
Open-minded people will tend to have a greater variety of friends from all kinds of classes and upbringings, less enemies and more freedom to opinion and view on life; on the other hand, closed-minded people lack the above attributes and tend to be legalistic, domineering and judgmental.
2. How people see them, interact with them and talk to them
The way we understand what people are saying like in the use of the "f" and "s" words and any other cuss words has really changed in this millennial/postmodern period. Most words no longer mean whatever they originally used to mean. Closed-minded people tend to be quite intolerant and judgmental when they hear someone respectable use a cuss word.
Now, considering that we have seen a few things closed-minded people do and how they feel about the world around them, why not list a few characteristics of open-minded people?
Here they are;
1. They try not generalize and see people as "a whole" but as individuals with unique choices, values and perspectives i.e. a person from a specific tribe will be handled as an individual and separate from their tribal affiliation and stereotypes.
2. They try to give people a second chance and treat them beyond reasonable doubt as individuals who can change.
They give them the benefit of the doubt. They refuse to see and judge people according to their pasts. Open-minded people tend to say this: "I know who you were and who you are right now. I'll listen to you, I'll hear you out."
3. They refuse to think that they are gods or that they are immune to the things affecting these other people.
They don't normalize sin, but they see themselves through the eyes of the sinner: needing forgiveness and restoration. They see pregnancies before marriage differently, they see Willy Paul, Bahati and Kanyari differently, they see Al-Shabaab and ISIS differently, they see the collaboration between Gospel artists and secular artists in any work of art or science differently... It's a whole list, guys.
4. They are learning how to see people as God sees them, thus no prejudice: that people are broken, needy (in need of a Savior) and subject to change. This's how the Lord saw the Apostle Paul and redeemed him.
5. They try to be less judgmental but more appreciating; and they accept that anyone can be used of God and become anything for His glory. They try not to draw lines or boundaries pertaining people, God's grace and His limitless favor (like the Pharisees did in Jesus' time). They try to ask questions before they pass judgement. Read on how Jesus was open-minded here in two separate stories from Mark 2:13-22 (NIV).
6. They correct the errors in their societies after getting the facts right, and don't seem judgmental while doing so.They correct with love and kindness. They do so without compromising on their beliefs and values. They don't condone bad behavior, but they seek to understand why it exists and how best it can be changed. Click and read this article that can be helpful in showing us on how to balance between speaking the truth and loving other people and this one on how to disagree without becoming enemies with someone.
You now notice and understand that it is a good and healthy thing to be open-minded because it helps us in three ways; in our relationship with our own selves, in our relationships with others and in our relationship with God.
I'll therefore show us a few ways on how to cultivate a nature of open-mindedness. Here they are;
1. Pray that you'll start seeing people as individuals with different personalities and as separate entities.
People are different, so capitalize on that.
2. Strive to always see the best in people, not the worst in them.
3. Give more good compliments on the good you see, advice on the areas that you notice need improvement and offer less criticism on the bad you see.
4. Pray that you'll start seeing people for who they are and who they can possibly become instead of who they were and what they are perceived to be.
5. Don't allow the enemy to feast at your table.
This is what it means: don't allow bad unverified thoughts concerning people to crowd your mind. I grabbed this one from a sermon by Louie Giglio, pastor of Passion City Church, which he preached recently at Elevation Church's Code Orange Revival. You can directly download and listen to the whole audio sermon here or get the whole database of sermons from Elevation Church here.
6. Practice the good habit of weighing every gossip, speculation and rumor with facts. Do it first with the Word of God (the Bereans did that as reported in the book of Acts 17:11 - and that is why they were called a people of noble character) and then with available facts (do some basic research on people, someone or something before making conclusions.) Things are not always what they seem.
Here is the conclusion of the matter:
You don't have to like everyone or everything, but you really have to get along with everyone and everything. That is life, so make the choice.
And...
Quote: Do not be so open-minded that your brains fall out. - G K Chesterton.
Read this article on prayers some too open-minded and unwise guy offered to Allah recently at church's general assembly plenary session in USA to see exactly what Chesterton meant in that quote.
See you later.
Bonface Morris.
No comments:
Post a Comment