I am your
consultant if all you need from me is advice, but I am your mentor if we have a relationship and you do
all that I tell you to do – Bonface Morris.
It
has been two years since I started this blog, and I know that most of you
(especially those I lead) have been wondering why I have never written
something specifically on leadership.
Well,
part of the answer is that I have never considered myself a “writing
leader", but just a “leading leader”.
Okay, don’t rant already, the issue is that “Wherever
my pen leads me, I obediently follow…”, remember? And it (the pen) has
never been leading me to write about leadership. Until today.
The
other part (of the answer) is that I really don’t know why I have never specifically written about leadership. I
honestly don’t know why. And when I don’t know about something, I don’t have to
explain myself, do I? Good.
I
am pressed on both sides (please don’t ask me what “both” stands for here) to
write about leadership. Maybe it is because it is at the beginning of the year
and I want to be an influence on how you’ll interact with your subordinates this year (as a leader) or
on how you will interact with both your fellow colleagues and leaders in the
course of this year. Yeah, maybe.
But
it is majorly because a good part of last year (2013) was spent looking at “Leading Young” – a book by
one Gibson Anduvate (a Youth pastor at ICC Nairobi - @anduvate on Twitter.)
I
have not yet read the book, but (please) take the word “looking” in the above
sentence to mean that after reading various reviews from reliable sources
indicating that the book is a gem worthy my salt, I somehow have gained the
authority (and audacity) to say that I have looked
at it. (By the way, don’t all of us do that same thing quite so often?
Don’t deny it. How many times on twitter, have you claimed to have seen a TV
Show, read a book, watched a movie (or a TV series), watched/played a game or
that you have been to a certain place just after reading several posts from
people with a deep knowledge of such
things? Many times, right? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. You have done
it, so don’t call in a bluff on me.) *Pun intended*
Anyway,
after looking at those reviews, I have decided that Leading Young is what I am into. That it is what I am gonna put
both my feet into. I am only 27 of course, but that doesn’t matter much. Many
will claim that I have not gained much experience to talk about and/or write
about certain issues (even on this blog), but you know what? That doesn’t
matter – at least not to me. What matters (I think) is that this generation
needs direction and as far as I am concerned, Christ has given that direction
to most of us. All I want to do is to point as many young people as possible to
the way He has already pointed and is leading me…
As
I write this, I am thinking about you. I am hoping that what I share here will
be useful to all of us: from leaders and mentees
and in the church, to the corporate and administrative world and deep down to
all statutory fields.
I
mean, how many leadership meetings or seminars have we attended? How many TED
Show episodes have we watched? What about the number of books we have all read
on leadership, mentorship and management? *Sigh!* They are so many.
Innumerable. Countless, even.
They
all have told us at some point to get a
mentor (a noun which is defined in the online Merriam-Webster
Dictionary as a
trusted counselor or guide; a tutor or coach.) That is how it all
goes. Always.
“Get someone to mentor you…”
“In
order to succeed in any field, you need a mentor…”
“You
cannot do without a mentor…”, they
say.
They
have told us that having a mentor
will help us avoid the various mistakes others preceding us have made in the
same field(s) we are in. And we’ve loved their advice. Yes, we even quote it
(this advice) from time to time when we are called upon to teach a few people
about the same. We quote them (these famous writers and speakers) and we come
out feeling fat with knowledge and
that we have accomplished “mentoring” a
few people... And it all ends there.
But
going back home, we face the reality that is always staring at us so
menacingly: we don’t even have mentors
ourselves! Dang!! Talk about drinking
all the age-old wine as we give out the precious
water!
Take
for instance, myself. I don’t have a
mentor as far as writing and authorship is concerned; and er, even
musically (because I do sing most of the time :-)). All I have are role models.
I may claim to have a few people I consult
with, but I have no solid mentor (meaning
that I have no one that I am directly answerable to or one who guides me
accordingly in matters to do with writing and singing). And I am so accustomed to it that I have normalized it. I give
excuses. I sleep on it. I play around with it. I get away with it. Always. My
most famous excuse being, “I am not
exposed enough. I don’t have enough support… There is no one around me who DOES
write the DEEP STUFF I would associate with. So what do you expect me to do?
Give birth to a mentor and then follow them?” And my excuses go on and on
and on…
But
later, somebody whispered to me a very important thing which I whisper to you
too today: “Morris, first understand the
relevance and meaning of mentorship and consultancy in all their fields of
application, then start becoming one so that the next generation will not claim
to have lacked someone like you and give excuses like you do…” Do you get
it? I got it then.
Jobs
had told him to “make it great” (the
film). Lasseter has never forgotten
those words to date.
Of
course Lasseter had gone to Jobs for consultation
(a meeting in which someone talks to a
person about a problem, question, etc - Merriam-Webster) but as it turns out, Jobs ended up
being his mentor. Consultation turned into mentorship the moment Lasseter did
exactly what Jobs had told him to do and sought to show his “consultant” the achievement he had
gained after his advice. But if Jobs was just but an option amongst many that
Lasseter was seeking advice from, he would have remained but a consultant to
Lasseter.
In
Biblical contexts, I will pick on an example known and relevant to all of us:
that of God, Moses and Joshua.
In
the Book of Numbers 27, we witness
Moses ordaining Joshua to be leader over Israel under the Lord’s command:-
Num 27:18-23 (ESV): “So the LORD
said to Moses, ‘Take Joshua
the son of Nun, a man in whom is the Spirit, and lay your hand on him. Make him
stand before Eleazar the priest and all the congregation, and you shall
commission him in their sight. You shall invest him with some of your authority,
that all the congregation of the people of Israel may obey. And he
shall stand before Eleazar the priest, who shall inquire for him by the
judgment of the Urim before the LORD. At his word they shall go out, and at his
word they shall come in, both he and all the people of Israel with him, the
whole congregation.’ And Moses
did as the LORD commanded him. He took Joshua and made him stand before Eleazar
the priest and the whole congregation, and he laid
his hands on him and commissioned him as the LORD directed through Moses.”
But
the firm relationship between God, Moses and Joshua did not begin here. It
begins some few years back in Exodus 17.
In this passage (Exodus 17), we see
the Israelites facing their ancient enemy - the Amalekites - and as Moses
stands on top of a hill lifting up his hands, Joshua is out there fighting and
carrying out the Lord's order against the Amalekites.
Joshua
is seen as a young man who is ardently interested
in what Moses and God are doing and he is
involving himself in it. Mark that one – he is involving himself in what his mentor is doing.
In
Numbers 13, when God commands Moses
to send spies to Canaan to explore the land, and bring back a report on what
they had seen in the land, twelve men (one from each tribe of Israel) are sent
and among them are Joshua son of Nun (the same Joshua mentioned above) and
Caleb son Jephunneh. After their return, I want you to
notice that only these two were able to
give a report that matched God’s and Moses’ plan for Israel, and thus from
this point on, Moses starts noticing the leadership ability in Joshua and the
possibility that God may be preparing him (Joshua) to take his (Moses') place.
How
and why, you ask? First, it is because Joshua is seen almost everywhere that we
see Moses and God – the mentee is
seen with his mentor everywhere he
goes. Second, Joshua is not just a spectator to the things Moses is doing, but
is concerned and involved in all the activities Moses is doing. Third, Joshua
is carrying the same vision for the people of Israel as did Moses – by not
seeing defeat in the hands of their enemies but by believing what the Lord
their God was saying about them as a nation...
We
therefore realize that the one thing about Lasseter and Joshua that syncs
is that they both followed and did what those
with the knowledge of things in their fields told them. They didn’t have to
desire to become like their mentors
(which is important but still limits one to a certain way of doing things); but they did become more like them simply by following their instructions.
They did not reduce their mentors to
mere consultants but went ahead and
exercised their words, thus becoming real
mentees.
If
mentorship has to make sense at all – like the sense Jesus’ mentorship brought
on all his disciples, except one (Judas) – the
mentee has to be in one accord with his/her mentor, and they should at least agree
on the same vision. Without this, the
so-called mentor in converted into a consultant – a person who only offers
advice and direction but has no relationship with the other seeking help in
his/her field.
If
any friction through misunderstandings occurs, it is to be amicably solved so
that the path towards the goal is not compromised.
So
many people want to be like Lasseter (or Moses, Joshua and Jesus in spiritual
contexts) but they still neglect that unique thing about these two parties (and
allow me to compare them in contexts of mentorship only, because in other
contexts, the Biblical examples given are incomparable).
These
two first recognized their passion (or
field of work/operation), then they identified
people in their fields that “stuck out” and then followed in their footsteps
without looking back…
I’m
gonna need to find mine.
Maybe
the problem we have with mentorship today that seeks to convert it into
consultancy is that most potential mentors fear being overridden by their mentees. This problem is two-way: either
the potential mentee is overambitious and wants to override his boss/mentor; or the potential mentor is jealous,
envious or terrified of the upcoming potential mentee… Oh well, let’s make that
a story for another day…
Lastly,
I want us to notice some differences between mentors and consultants. I feel
that these two words have been being used interchangeably but in a wrong way.
They are not the same thing.
What
mentors do (it can be to one individual or to a group of people):-
1.
They advice
you, encourage you and guide you accordingly
2.
Are concerned about your growth and
check in to see how far you have gone as related to your field of work
3.
They share about their experiences and
shortcomings and help you overcome yours
4.
They are in the same field as you are
and seek to achieve the same goal as you do
What
consultants do (it can be to one individual or to
a group of people):-
- They give you advice on the
situation challenging you, and that is all. They are more of counselors
than mentors.
- They may never check in on you to monitor your growth as pertaining
your challenge (unless asked)
- They establish no relationship
with the concerned party
- They may not share the same
interests with you, but if they do, you only seek after them when
you are stuck.
I
think that is enough for today. I hope that you can now identify who is who and where in your life, and/or who
you are to the few or many people you interact with daily.
Meet/see
you next time, right here.
Bonface Morris.
