Are Relationships Complicated? (#ValentinesExclusive)

You've probably read on most people's Facebook bio under relationship status (I guess it is only Facebook that is really interested in our relationship statuses) that "IT'S COMPLICATED".

I for once wanted to do the same: say that relationships are complicated... Oh, in fact, I wrote a blog post on it to support that notion sometimes back. Read it here.

The funny thing is that, no, relationships are actually not that complicated. I've realized that we are the ones that complicate them.

I'll pass you through why I think so. And I probably will manage to convince you on why you should change your Facebook relationship status to I-think-I've-been-stupid-in-relationships-and-it's-all-my-fault...

I think most of the challenges and complications we meet in our relationships are bred, fed and nurtured by us.

Take for instance a lady that decides to be the incessant/all-time "bread winner" in a relationship from the word go. She thinks it is okay to "take care of the love of her life" in such a way and therefore tolerates buying her sweetheart stuff, helping pay his rent, paying his bills, bailing him out when people are on his neck hunting him down for their money e.t.c.. The thing is that she is not looking beyond...

So, by the time the future comes (even the near future), what do you expect her to post on social media after she realizes that she has been being used? She'll tell us how "complicated men in the millennia are", while sincerely, it was her own fault to ignite the car without looking keenly at the fuel gauge.

Another example is when a guy decides to overlook the bad manners of his lazy and money-loving girlfriend.
This is how it goes: he knows that she's doing nothing to positively serve herself and the people around her but he ignores it all. She has told him before (several times actually) stuff like this: "Honey," she says, "...you know what? I can't wake up before 9am. And if they tell me to do any house chores at home, I always pretend that I'm not feeling well. Also, I never stop watching a TV Show until it's into its season finale. I can watch a great TV Series for a whole day without blinking. Honey, I think we'll just be buying food when we get married, right? Because I abhor cooking. My brother irons my clothing... My mom does the laundry... My dad ensures I look good..." And she goes on and on.

What is the guy not hearing? He is overlooking his girlfriend's laziness and hedonism. And when the going will go tough (and it sure will), he'll start blaming all the women in the world for the very things they've never done.

Do you now get me? Our complicated relationships are our own fault. True story.

So, what are those things we do that complicate our relationships with or without knowing it (at least by 90%)?
Here's a list of some those things:

1) We overlook the small mistakes and wrongs we hear from and see in our girlfriends or boyfriends
We allow love to blur our vision of the true nature of the other person. We love with all our hearts minus all our minds.
He is violent. She is rude. He is carnal. She is selfish. His mom is his goddess. Her dad is her god. He is stingy and mean. She is a busy body and full of gossip. He is aptly jealous. She is dishonest and a liar. He is unfaithful and loves money above you. She is evil.
We see all these things in the first month of the relationship, but do we normally do anything about it? No. That's how complications chip in.

2) We overlook the defined rules we have been given for our relationships
God says (literally), "My son/daughter, don't date a pagan or a non-believer. Date a mature Christian who's growing and seeks to grow more in me...", but we go on and say, "Lord, I don't think You understand... You don't gerr-it. This one will eventually change. Huyu ni tofauti..." And when the world crumbles (because it sure will), we cry out loud, "It's all sooo complicated..."

3) We overlook our and their intentions of getting into the relationship
Some of our ladies know that "he's just in this relationship for the sex and/or the money..." (By the way, why do you, as saved people, engage in sex? It is sinful!) As a saved lady, such an issue should be addressed immediately before it grows into something else. But our awesome all-knowing millennial ladies choose to overlook this. The moment will come when he is obsessed with his desires and you'll go into depression saying: men are complicated. Which men? Your man wanted sex, and he's draining your pocket. That's what he was doing. He was not interested in you!!

The same thing applies to we millennial guys. She interviewed you in the beginning, on the first date, remember? You felt like it was a job interview or something. But you took it lightly. She later cunningly moved to your place - without your permission (and you are saved!! Really?). She uses your card without your permission. She never asks you questions about YOU. She rarely offers to support you in anything, but she never delays to ask for favors for herself. Like, how many favors has she asked for since the year began that are all about her? Twenty? Oh my friend, you're dating a narcissistic and self-centred lady. It will drop bruh, it will drop.
What are you waiting to see so that you may prove that she's manipulative and that you are her puppet, and you now need to run away? Complicated, right?

4) We overlook their dismal relationship with God
When was the last time you fought with your girlfriend/boyfriend about their relationship with God and their commitment to their church and the things of God? Or about how often they pray, read their Bible or attend church? You've never done it? Hah, and you expect less complications in that relationship? Here is the blunt line: if the Lord is neither a priority to both of you nor the foundation of the relationship, it will surely sink!! And it will end up veeeery complicated.

5) We overlook other people's warnings concerning our relationships
You know, it seems we've grown so knowledgeable that we think we can teach our parents. That's what we think. We've been warned by our parents or guardians or (insert the name of an elderly person who warns us here) several times about that girl/boy, haven't we? What did we do about it? We ranted. We took offense. Tulicatch feelings. We said stuff like this, "Ooh come on, give me a break!! This is my life. I live my life, you don't and will never live it for me...!!"

6) We overlook what Scripture tells us concerning a good friend, wife or husband
The Bible is full of guidelines and instructions on who is a good friend, a good wife and who is the good husband. We don't need a 50 Shades of Grey or Steve Harvey or Oprah or Mills And Boon best-seller to explain anything to us. We don't even need me. It is right there in our Bibles!! And o how blessed we millennials are!! Bibles are all over the place. There's a Bible on your phone, in your room, on your desktop, on that tablet, on the internet... There are Bibles everywhere... But do we inquire to know what the Lord says concerning what a good friend/wife/husband looks like? Naaaah. What do we normally do? We normally use our own understanding (which Scripture warns about in Proverbs) to criss-cross and judge the right/best person for us. This normally leaves us with complicated relationships.

The Bible gives Christ as the best example of what a good boyfriend/husband should look like, and the Church as an example of what a good girlfriend/wife should look like. (I'll address this in detail in another post this month.)

7) We ignore and overlook the relationship boundaries that have been stipulated for us
So they made their move on you and you already had a girlfriend/boyfriend? Why didn't you tell them there and then? Why did you wait until your girlfriend/boyfriend met her/him carelessly flirting with you? You see, if your real girlfriend/boyfriend heats up because of you carelessly switching your relationship boundaries, it's your fault. You overlooked the boundaries.

Also, why are you giving them too much room yet they ain't your husband/wife? Come on! Don't dare give them the privileges that only belong to a husband/wife. Don't complicate things...!!

The above are good reasons to help us see that we complicate our own relationships and that we need to do something about it before it is too late.

For #ValentinesExclusive Valentines Day 2015.

Bonface Morris.

Stuff I Learned and Discovered Last Year (2014 Edition)

Last year, I shared with us a few things I had learned from 2013. I may not be all that cool in studying stuff yeah, but I am really good at noting things down. (Yes, I know I am, haha.)

You can read that post here.

So after last year's post, I thought, "Why can't we be doing this annually?" Then the reply came back: not bad, not bad at all.

Herein, I am unleashing a few lessons from 2014, aligned in no order at all...

1. I discovered that the best thing a person can do to themselves is to either be fully involved in something or not to be involved in anything at all. The truth is this: playing middle ground is both unhealthy and dissatisfying. It elevates indecision, and indecisive minds build no real castles.

2. If and when something (or stuff) is wrong, stop and fix it. Playing passive won't help a thing. I have discovered that people who complain about things without making effort to make them right are worse than those who don't care about whatever is happening.

3. Failure creates masterpieces out of men if they use it well. I believe that those who have failed before are better teachers than those who only believe in success.

4. Stuff comes and stuff goes; nothing lasts forever. Nothing except things that concern the Heaven of God.

5. We ride on different levels of integrity, intelligence, origin, ability and self-drive. This means that it is useless and demeaning to your awesome self to compare yourself to others. It is better if you compared your new self to who you were yesterday or a few minutes ago; there, you'll be growing.

6. Our social media platforms (Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and WhatsApp) are full of people and families wanting to make you feel that your life is so boring, less advanced, eventless and you ain't all that blessed as they are. But it is not always that way. There are so many of us that pretend almost about everything. It is an art we have perfected.

7. You can't fully satisfy everyone. (The key word here is FULLY.) Playing God to people in/and their lives/needs will only leave you drained, burnt out and extremely exhausted for nothing. That's why there is God, then there is man. Stick to being a human being and you'll be safe.

8. One of the worst habits to pick is that of doing something (whether good or bad) because everyone else is doing it. This is called "being a junk cabinet". You always end up junky.

9. God is not my servant, nor is He yours. We shouldn't therefore try to dictate how He works in or through us on any given day.

10. Serve the LORD. If He blesses you, well and good; if He doesn't, serve Him. He'll bless you anyway. Oh, and He knows why you serve Him anyway. You can't fool Him.

11. My spiritual life is not dependent on my leader or pastor. Blaming either or both of them for what goes wrong with it is like Judas Iscariot blaming Christ for falling out.

12. If I boast of what I do or what I am able to do, I boast foolishly.

13. People (including myself) will want you to do stuff for them like accomplish a project, meet a target, go somewhere on their/our behalf but they will never appreciate the sacrifices you made along the way to meet their demands. In short, most of us are really ungrateful, so put that in mind before offering us a helping hand.

14. Work with what you have. Stay contented. What you don't have is not yours, so don't plan your life using it. (This I learned when my employer transitioned from one small organization to a bigger one. People expected promotions and a salary increment. Both have not appeared.)

15. I've discovered that every moment a parent treats an 18 year old the same way they treat a 10 year old, they lose them by 2%. That means, it will only take 50 times of lack of confidence in a teenager to lose them completely. It also means that if a parent does it consecutively for a whole year, the child they'll be seeing in the next year will be totally different from the one they knew in the past year.

16. You are more awestruck (either positively or negatively) when you see yourself as you really are than when you look at others with an eye intending them to be the way you expect them to be. Try it one time.

17. Don’t peg your life on people. Because; they come and go, they change everyday, and because even the government subsides in meekness and uselessness. Pegging yourself on how people see you and think you are will bring you down. Brands/people are not liked passé, but brands are made to be loved with time.

18. Don’t think that you know it all. Sometimes silence is the best option. In 2014, I begun learning how to just say nothing at all. (I seem to be that guy who’s always talking about stuff so this has been bit of a challenge to me.)

19. Also, I realized that our relationships are affected by how much we speak – people abhor proud people who always think they know it all... So it is good to be aware that the so-called fools know some stuff about silence that the wise don’t.

20. God is here, God is there and… God is everywhere; but what counts in our relationship with Him is our consciousness of His omnipresence. He rarely moves unless we do. He loves me even at the very moments I think I don’t deserve it. He cares, and would love us to appreciate Him for who He is and what He does and also have a deep understanding of Him through a constant relationship with Him. He desires, above all, that we learn and grow in Him. He cares about our relationship with others around us too.

21. Hurry is the devil. Hurry changes nothing for the better. Actually, hurry fuels anxiety/fear, complaints and impatience which are the three things that are very much against the character that the LORD seeks to build in us. There is therefore no need to hurry in life. At all.

22. Entirely, nobody cares. This is the safest point of knowledge you can ever have, so use it for your own good.

23. Mostly, people want to be part of something great – something big – but they mostly have no idea of how to bring it about. Also, mostly, people only get involved in something that will eventually directly benefit them. Of these two kinds of people, I learned that leadership is about knowing how to meet the needs of both without necessarily satisfying them.

24. When you do nothing, you achieve nothing. Even God does something, why do we think that we shouldn’t? Riches and prosperity are outcomes of hard work. It is impossible to nurture success without hard work and commitment.

25. There is no limit to creativity and becoming better. Each one of us has the potential of becoming better. You can become better if you choose to and work hard on it. But remember that although copying the status quo may make you adopt easily, it will soon throw you out of business.

26. Creativity requires that you stretch your limits a little. It is tough, but is it always the father of invention.

27. When you use you as your own mirror and while using the Word of God as a reflection, then you can grow healthily amongst many of your type.

28. We die slowly in so many places without knowing. Gradual spiritual death to a Christian is maybe one of the most underrated things.

29. Every believer needs to learn and become equipped in Christian apologetics. Neither for "awesomeness" nor for their leader(s) sake, but for this very reason: it is a good thing and a mark of sanity to know and become sure of what someone believes in and to be able to defend that very course.

That's all for now.

Until next time,



Bonface Morris.

Hillsong Young & Free "This Is Living" EP Album (2015) mp3 Download

This Is Living EP official album art - Hillsong Young & Free, 2015

Hillsong Young & Free released an extended play album (EP in short - which is a musical recording that contains more music than a single, but is usually too short to qualify as a full studio album) "This Is Living" last week on Tuesday, January 13, 2015.

The EP features a track by the same name with Lecrae.

Taking on electronic dance music style with a little pop touch, Hillsong Young & Free offers a glimpse at Hillsong Church's Youth Ministry with the new EP's lead track "This Is Living," which has been available on iTunes and major music stores worldwide. 

"The wait is over! #ThisIsLiving is now available worldwide," the band wrote on Twitter on Tuesday last week and this threw many fans of their music (including myself) into a rush of anticipation. 

On featuring Christian Hip-hop singer and Grammy award-winner Lecrae on "This Is Living", they wrote and said,  "For us it was a dream come true to collaborate with Lecrae who we not only love and respect as an artist, but as someone who is a strong voice for freedom to this generation... If anyone's message echoes the message of 'This Is Living', it's Lecrae."

On Tuesday last week, Lecrae (@Lecrae) voiced his own excitement for the track's release, tweeting: "My friends @hillsongyandf just released their EP & I'm on the track #ThisIsLiving. Check it out here..." as he posted a link to where the fans may access and download the new music. 

Meanwhile, the new Young & Free EP also includes a newly-recorded version of "Sinking Deep," which was first released on the group's debut album "We Are Young & Free" released in 2013. An acoustic version of "This Is Living" is also among the new album's songs. Rounding out track list for "This Is Living" are the songs "Energy" and "Pursue."

The announcement of the new EP was also done via YouTube in a clip featuring Lecrae.

Here is the download link to the EP containing 5 songs:

Hillsong Young & Free "This Is Living" EP (2015) full mp3 download (21MB) 

Note:
This review was partly obtained from  www.christianpost.com.

Bonface Morris.

Gloria Muliro’s Divorce: My Views

I know very few married people in the Kenyan Christian fraternity will want to talk about this in the open. We will leave it to the world to blog about it as we always do. I know how laid back we are when it comes to taking action and facing stuff head-on – even when we are seeing how badly the world is seeing these nasty holes within the Church and the marriage institution itself (which is actually the pillar of the Church.) I don’t blame us. I don’t. But I am not going to keep quiet on this one this time round.

You see, when I heard about Gloria Muliro’s divorce yesterday on KTN's Tukuza Show before leaving for church, I was like, “Oh my God!! Is this it? Really?” And the question I have been asking myself is since that time is: what is actually very wrong with Christian marriages today?

Well, you may say, “Aaahhh Morris, you’re still a boy, unmarried, and you lack experience to talk about such issues… Wait until you get married and the going is tough then you’ll blabber all you want…!!” But I’ll answer back and say, “Oh, so you are experienced? Why don’t you then share with us your awesome experiences? Why wait until I am talking then you sway your criticism my way, huh?

Pastor Eric Omba and Gospel artist Gloria Muliro in a previous photo. Photo courtesy of Standard Media.

Marriage is complicated (that is what I hear from most of my numerous number of married friends) but are you not to help the unmarried (like myself) learn from your mistakes so that to build a church that is full of stable families? What is wrong with married people blogging and openly talking about their experiences in marriage? Why do they want us to keep falling in the same holes they fell in… (This excludes my youth patron and a few other awesome elderly people I know who make effort to ensure we don’t fall in the same traps they fell in in their days…)

A few weeks ago, late in 2014, I had this question haunting me: how come married people do not all-of-a-sudden wish to share with us - their previous friends in singlehood and some of us who are already in relationships - about the do’s and don’ts as far as marriage is concerned? Do they all-of-a-sudden meet demons that mute their views on various issues on relationships and marriage? Why don’t they then call us to action to cast out these devious demons?

The story of Gloria Muliro together with that of Betty Bayo which hit our TV screen late last year just fueled my need to get answers to the above questions. The exposure of saved people’s dirty laundry to the public (divorces et al) in a nation like our own where careless/irresponsible/ruthless blogging has become a profession to many idle youngsters is not a fair hit to the marriage institution which plays a big role to church doctrine and Christian values.

With such a revelation of two marriages with hurting women – and who are icons and mentors of many within the Christian community in this nation – it is good to say we (youth leaders/pastors) need to be very keen on who is getting married to who in the church. It may also be an indication that most saved people are masquerades, right? Although it is not right to dictate or choose “who” marries “who” within the church, premarital counseling should never be undermined. Let us not give the devil a loop hole to attack the church and then we later are heard complaining and casting him out yet it was our own carelessness and lack of concern for this institution that build him a home right in our midst!!

This story also reveals that it is possible that we have so many hurting people in Christian marriages who are not able to come out in the open and confess to the entire world (at least to the Christian world) that they need help like our esteemed mothers Gloria and Betty have done. (Issues of infidelity, dishonesty and violence in marriage are almost intolerable, right? And the Bible supports that one can opt for a divorce in such cases...) Is it not true that all we see out here are skeletons of the reality within the marriage institution? That the truth is so blunt that it would kill us with heart/mind-tetanus? Is it possible that a lot of marriages are suffering and that we are all pretending everything is well and are doing nothing about it? Is it also possible that many of we youth are only pretending to have been redeemed by Christ yet we are lions in sheepfolds seeking to prowl, kill and destroy God’s own flock?

Who will answer my questions? Because as far as marriage is concerned, and with all this going on, all the young people around us will need to get answers. Real answers. Solid and real answers. They may pretend they don’t know what is happening and that all-is-well, but deep within their trust and confidence in the marriage institution will slowly be fading away. Someone needs to stand up and tell us, “Heeeeey!! Guys, this is how it rolls... We are all pretenders. (at least.) Our marriages need your fasting and prayers. They need the LORD… When you see us do all the stuff you see us doing, don’t think we have it all figured out out and stuff… we need you too…”

Can’t somebody come up with a solution to these many questions that are now making people in the world go like, “Morris I told you… don’t marry in/from the church!! Don’t. Those guys are all a heck of beautiful pretenders…” (And I’ll want to defend the church as I always do…)

But is this true? Is it true that we are all a crowd of people who are in the church in order to get to snatch the best of what is there yet we don’t even know the LORD whom we are confessing? Is it true that we don’t sincerely love our girlfriends/boyfriends, fiancés/fiancées? Is it true that we are only seeking to use and misuse them? Is it also true that we don’t care so much about the pain we cause them? Is it true that we don’t care about what the LORD says concerning our character, growth and development as Christians? As His children? I don’t absolutely think so. I don’t.

We are not all pretenders. Some of us sincerely love the LORD: both ladies and we guys. Some of us are in church truly seeking God and not women/men, money or fame. Some of us sincerely love our girlfriends/boyfriends. Some of us are remorseful and apologetic when we wrong. Some of us care about how we make our partners and others feel. Some of us care about what ails our character and are ready to become better in the eyes of God. The church is not a mass of callous pretenders. I think there are a few here, in the church, that are spoiling the name of the church but it is not entirely true that we are all messed up and are lacking direction. It is not also entirely true that Christian marriages are not working. No. My parents’ marriage is working. Yours’ too. And many many others…

What do/did they do right that others don’t? That’s the question… and I/we deserve answers.

I am not married, but I will get married one of these fine days. Yes, I will. And this does not mean that I am predicting a faultless marriage on my side. No. We have our own challenges now, and we will have others once we are in the next step. We need guidance… and we will keep praying with the victims... And as far as I am not into marriage yet, I still deserve answers as to why the Church is both successful and also failing in marriage. I wish someone will write me an email on this… Is this too much to ask for?

Bonface Morris.

2015, I Promise

I don’t make New Year resolutions. I don’t. I just get into the New Year and continue from where I left off the previous year. I don't make New Year resolutions but I DO set goals for myself to guide my path into the next season. I may do that in the middle of the year, at the beginning or whenever. I'm just not into that New Year hysteria that grasps most of us...

Does that make me any different? Eh, and does it make me a proud person? Maybe. Am I proud of it? Yes. Why? I don't know.  

As you have already realized, I have decided to do things differently this year: I chose not to impulsively post in the first week of the year giving you hints on how I/you will run your life this year. I am not God. I have promised myself not to play God anywhere in your life or mine. Playing God is tough. I gat no skin for that... God is the only one that knows where we are headed to, how to go there, when and why... I can't do that... but all I can do is give direction. I can point you/us in a certain direction using God's words of Wisdom.

So what does that make me? A wise person? No. Wisdom is overrated. Mostly actually... It just makes me a messenger though: a servant who also depends on the same instructions I am sent to deliver.  

Okay, again, just to remind you; inasmuch as we say God is in control and we ain't trying to play Him, it does not entirely mean that we have to just sit around and wait for things/life to happen to us. No. People who do that end up more frustrated with life than you and I who choose to make a few steps or changes in/with our lives. Such people run around (or hang around) desiring change they cannot achieve. They expect too much of people and God without proving that they are worthy of the outcome. They wait for life to be born, fed and clothed as they watch. That takes forever; and the sad thing about it is that when it happens - when life/God happens after that forever - they can’t celebrate it that much... Because it won’t be that sweet for their celebration.

                             A victory after a war you have not fought in is not as sweet as that attained 

                                                            after the struggle of engaging in battle…

Now, considering that it is a New Year, and that learning is one of the best things that can happen to an individual (especially one that seeks to put in practice whatever they have learned), I will share with you in this month lessons learned from 2014 and tips that will not only put us in perspective with seeing life as “the big picture” it is, but that will also enhance our personal and spiritual growth. Maybe I'll convince you to be an all-round person who seeks growth in and out of season. Maybe.

So, to begin with, have you made any New Year  resolutions (yet)? Have you promised yourself to do a few things (God willing) for yourself, for those around you and for God? Do you have a list (either in your heart/mind or in writing/print) tucked away somewhere? Well, I am here to congratulate you. You are doing well (at least for now...) and are better than me.

..................................................................

WordWeb Dictionary defines a resolution as “a decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner”.

With this definition in mind, it means that we make resolutions all the time (or that we ought to make resolutions all the time). This also makes me wonder why people go in a frency over a New Year. A New Year is just a continuation of days from the previous days of a now ending year – but with different dates. We go into a New Year as the same people we were in the previous year. Nothing changes overnight. Really.

The truth about life is that there are things/resolutions that you made last year (probably 80% or more) that still stand unresolved or untouched, or that you tried, reached halfway and lost momentum to pursue. Also, if you are fond of making deep reflections on how your life is fairing on, it is likely that you are disappointed with yourself, with God or with the people around you that were to be part of the success or completion of those resolutions. You also are aware that after attending an overnight prayer meeting (kesha) on New Year's eve, nothing actually changed. It only helped in changing your attitude for this year, but your life still needs lots of your input.

You see, I'm just aligning you with reality: debts haven't disappeared (yet), your health still stinks as it was before Christmas, your pockets and financial life may even be in a worse state than before Christmas, you probably still own only a pair of shoes (one danging pair!!), your relationships life is still in a mess, you still have temper/anger issues, trust issues, food issues, friends issues, church issues, pride issues, boredom issues, lust issues... and so forth and so on.

That's the reality of things.

But let's twist it a little... What if you really desired change? What if you chose to pray to the LORD God to help you sort out your wretched life one piece at a time? What if you forgot about those empty, hysterical and impulsive New Year urges to make "New Year resolutions" and sought to do something different? What if you decided to work on your life diligently and steadily one moment and step at a time? What if you saw your life with the big picture in mind and not just as an enclosure or a portrait or a painting within a year? Maybe things would change, right?

That's how I'm convincing you to look at new years. Maybe you'll have something to celebrate at the end of this one. (For, by the way, there is always something to celebrate.)

Below, I'm listing things you can promise yourself to do (which are not hard to follow in any way) for your own daily personal growth as you look BEYOND 2015:-

1.      Allow the Lord to deal with you as He pleases 

• As He pleases? Yeah, as He pleases. Or you can try playing God in your life and see how that ends. 
• Where is your level of submission as far as God and Christian ministry are concerned? Are you promising yourself to consciously serve more? You should do so.  
•  Is the LORD alone enough for you regardless of what happens in/to your life in this year or anytime or do you think you need more than Him? If the LORD is not what you only need to move on, then your focus is blurry and you are standing or sinking sand. 
• There are things that will happen to your life this year and thereafter that you have no explanation for. Leave it in the Hands of God. He knows better. He does. 
•  Promise yourself to understand that God does not move and work out things in our lives because of how much we know, speak or declare but according to our faith; that's why righteousness is not the substance of knowledge and deeds but of faith in what God says concerning us and Himself. We can't impress God by how much we know but by how much we believe in what He says. So standing up on the first week of the year to declare things we don't believe can happen is as futile as flying to Heaven on an aeroplane. It's like chasing after the wind: useless.

2.      Expect more from God and less from man 

• To get satisfaction, promise yourself to seek to satisfy others more than you seek to be satisfied by them. 
• Learn that if you sacrifice and give more more to God and fellow man, you find yourself. You find God too. And when you find Him, he teaches you to fully put your hope and trust in Him. 
•  Leaning on people will suck the spiritual strength out of you. Know that the closer a person becomes to you, the more a threat they are to your relationship with God if they're not helping you move closer to Him. 

                           If the LORD is not the only one you need for life to move on, then your focus is blurry 

      and you are standing on sinking sand.

3.      Work around being contended with the little you have as you learn patience 

• Mostly, God wants to teach us three basic things as His children: love, patience and faith. Our Christian lives move along these lines. If we keep on failing in perfecting ourselves concerning these three, our spiritual lives will keep moving in circles and we may not experience radical growth in anything we do. 
• Promise yourself to write down every new gift or blessing you receive from people and the LORD on your calendar. Give them a unique color.  Review them at the end of the year and see how faithful God has been to you in the year. Then your contentment would have grown to a whole new level.

4.      Make less promises to people, except to yourself. 

• You’ll be disappointed less in yourself and you'll let no-one down. You'll feel less guilty and become less depressed. 
• At least you won't be playing God, so you'll become humble as the days go by.

5.      A change of attitude at any time of the year is far greater than 20 untouched New Year resolutions  

• The proud and arrogant person always thinks that the only way to see the world clearly is through their own eyes. Yet the more we learn to see the world around us differently, the better we become at serving it and wanting to change it. 
• A change in attitude changes everything. It changes how we love people, how we respond to situations, how we relate with God, how we live in our new environments. It changes everything around us. Everything. 
• Change yourself first. After that, the world will take care of itself. 

6.      Nothing will change unless we take/make a step to change it first. 

• You only win a race you compete in. Cheerleaders are part of the team yeah, but cheerleaders never receive the award; so stop being a spectator expecting stuff to change and benefit you when you haven't worked or participated in it. 
• Life needs a makeover from time to time; it's sad that we get lost in the obvious until we miss what we should get in our seasons of change. It's only when we learn to adapt to and celebrate change that we bring change. 
• Practically, if you’re a fan of romance and fantasy books and novels or movies and TV series, you should promise yourself to read more of Christian literature and watch more of faith-oriented movies not just this year but throughout your life. This is change. I also want us to understand that some goals go beyond a year. Growth is not a one year thing. Growth is eternal. Change too, is eternal. 

                                                         Growth is eternal. Change too, is eternal.  

7.      Keep the list of your goals simple, doable and measurable. 

• Unrealistic goals will make you think you're a failure, while in true sense you may not be. This is why I prefer calling what most people call "resolutions", goals. Calling them "goals" (and I may only have one goal per season) makes it easier to spot them and run towards accomplishing them. 
• You may write down your resolutions/goals in bullet format on your phone/tablet/computer calender app. I always feed them into the 1st January slot, and once accomplished, I come back and check them by indicating the date the goal was fulfilled. You can always scroll back and see your progress as the days go by. A goal set last year may as well be achieved this year. In such a case, enter in both slots of 1st January, 2014 and 1st January, 2015 to show you how long it has taken to work it out.

 8.      All the goals we set are beyond our natural abilities to enact or achieve, so consult the LORD 

• You wanna get married this year yet you don't have a boy/girlfriend? Don't you think that requires God? Yes? 
• You want to buy land and build a home? Involve God. 
• You want to further your education and pay your own fees? Involve God. 
• You want to finish school, get employed and enjoy life? Involve God. 

No goal we set (even that which we think we can accomplish on our own like taking our better halves for a date night) can be fruitful without involving God. He knows the way, so why not let Him lead?

This ain't the end.

I'll be back.

Bonface Morris. 

Reviews 2014: Music

In this second part of #Reviews2014, let's talk Gospel music as it was or has been in my world and yours this year.

2014 was a unique year that came with it's own number of surprises, awesomeness and sorrow as far as music is concerned. We happened to see artists improve in their creativity and artistry, some fall back into their comfort zones, and we lost some who went to be with the Lord. This, in summary, made it a year full of mixed feelings and expectations.

Here's a review of the few music albums I listened to this year as listed per genre:-

Folk/Pop
1. Francesca Battistelli - If We're Honest She had promised us something fresh in her interview on NRT; and she did deliver. Her pop sound improved from the days of that grand single Beautiful Beautiful. Yes, Francesca's sound on this album is way above average.
2. Brooke Fraser - Brutal Romantic
Brooke Fraser never disappoints. She somehow adopted a more electronic sound on this one though.
3. Trembling Hearts - Trembling Hearts
A new band with a fresh sound. Great and unique music.
4. Young Oceans - Advent
I stumbled upon these guys a few months ago. Well, the I hear they have a new album out. They're worthy checking out.

Hip Hop & Rap
1. Lecrae - Anomaly
If you don't know Lecrae released an album this year, I think you're dead. Yes, you should be dead. It is well spoken off, it topped Bill Board charts for several consecutive days, and it has received various nominations. This album has blown us away. It is the present-time anomaly in Christian rap and Gospel music at large.
2. Tedashii - Below Paradise
I was introduced to this album by an early release of that song Dark Days, Darker Nights featuring Britt Nicole. I love Britt, so I got hooked. Tedashii's sound on this one isn't disappointing at all.
3. Da' T.R.U.T.H. - Heartbeat
This was like a debut for Mixed Bag Records - T.R.U.T.H.'s own new record label. That song Mixed Bag has more plays on my GMMP than any other...
4. FLAME - Jesus Or Nothing
FLAME reminds me of someone I don't want to mention here because it would be irrelevant if I did so... Moreso, he has improved both musically and lyrically. This album is worthy checking out.
5. Andy Mineo - Neverland
After successful previous projects, Andy now has a solid place in the hearts of Christian/Gospel rap lovers... And the 116 flag is flying higher. The version I got of this album was an EP. It is worthy a listening.
6. Trip Lee - Rise
Trip Lee is that guy who still amazes me considering that he has health challenges. His story makes you think, "You mean he can do all this in his condition? Why can't I?" This means Lee is uncommonly dedicated to his Christian calling; thus the result is such a wonderful album.
7. Natalie Lauren - Redeyes And Blueskies EP
8. Derek Minor - Minorville (released last year but worthy noting.) Oh, he was formerly known as PRo..
9. KB - 100 EP

Praise & Worship
1. Donnie McClurkin - Duets
2. Paul Baloche - Live
3. Paul Wilbur - The Ultimate Collection
The Messianic sound is still there and rising.
4. William Murphy III - God Chaser (released last year but worthy noting). By the way, you should check him out if you love William McDowell and/or VaShawn Mitchell. He's a great worshiper.

Contemporary Praise & Worship
1. Kari Jobe - Majestic
Kari Jobe now has a permanent place in the hearts of contemporary worship lovers. This album is mind-blowing. By the way, she features her fiance on that song Holy Spirit.
2. Bethel Music - You Make Me Brave Have you listened to the vocals, arrangement and the message in that theme song You Make Me Brave? Oh well, it speaks for itself.
3. Michael W Smith - Sovereign
He's getting old but his music ain't. That's what you should know.
4. Chris Tomlin - Waterfall (single)
5. Passion - Take It All
6. Hillsong Worship - No Other Name
I reviewed and shared this album on this blog. You should check it out.
7. Hillsong United - The White Album
This is a remixes album.
8. Phil Wickham - The Ascension
9. Jesus Culture - Unstoppable Love
As beautiful as usual.
10. All Sons And Daughters - All Sons And Daughters
11. BJ Putnam - More And More (released last year but worthy noting). Also, the guy has an Israel Houghton-like sound.
12. Matt Redman - Your Grace Finds Me (released last year but worthy taking note of. )

K-Love Kind-of Music/Rock
1. Casting Crowns - Thrive
I shared a song from this album sometimes back on this blog. It is an average album anyway.
2. Plus One hit us back with the surprise single My All .
3. David Crowder - Neon Steeple
This is a solo project by Crowder himself.
4. Thousand Foot Krutch - Oxygen Inhale
Hah, no wonder I'm calling this genre "K-Love". Most people are ranting that most artists have gone "K-Lovey" and are lacking originality. Oh well, these guys are some of them... anyway, what's wrong with that?
5. Anthem Lights - One Direction Mash-up & You Have My Heart
2 albums from a boys band in one year!! Yo ladies, you know what to do... :-)
6. Kutless - Glory
I had somehow ignored Kutless for sometime but it seems they brought me back with this one.
7. Jars Of Clay - Reckless Forgiver (Remixes)
8. Kyle Cooke - Irrefutable Silence
9. Watch out for an album released this year by Tenth Avenue North too.

R&B and Urban
1. Erica Campbell - Help
She went solo. Mary Mary is still alive, but Erica just wanted to try it out on her own. This album proves that she has it in her.
2. J Moss - Grown Folks Gospel
He decided to do something different. It is still the same J but with a "grown folks" sound. Yeah.
3. Deitrick Haddon & LXW - League of Extraordinary Worshipers
Deitrick has had his own ups and downs with both personal life and ministry. This album is not bad if you're looking for Gospel music with an urban sound.
4. Isaac Carree - Reset (released last year but worthy noting)

A Capella
Westside Praise - God Is For Us

Country
Reverend Robert Wilkins - Prodigal Son

Dancehall
Papa San - One Blood
Various collaborations with other artists on this album make it worthy your ears.

Dance-pop
1. Jamie Grace - Ready To Fly
I love her. Oh well, it maybe because I could dream of dropping her an email or two sometime back. She has grown a lot from those debut days when she featured the great tobyMac in her album.
2. Beckah Shae - Champion
I bet Beckah now joins the league of the likes of Mandisa. (Oh, that's my judgment anyway.)

Jazz
I happened to get one really awesome Gospel jazz album: Evolve by Jackiem Joyner. This album is like a breeze: making me love jazz in such a special way...

Instrumentals
Jim Brickman - Blessings
No saxophones or strings on this one. Good but a little flat.

Various Mixes and Collections
1. WoW Gospel 2014 - a great collection of 39 songs...
2. Songs 4 Worship, Vol. 24 (Worship Classics)
3. All About Worship Collective, Vol. 8 & 9

Unique Events
1. Eunice Njeri launched her album "Nimekubali" at CITAM Valley Road. (It now seems that CITAM Valley Road is the place to launch great stuff... Oh well...)
2. Bahati launched his album "Barua Za Bahati".
3. Joyous Celebration were in town this December. Rumors going round is that it is impossible for the event to hit our hallowed River Road (street-wise and webosphere-wise) because they prohibited live recording. Okay. (No comments there.)
4. Kanjii launched his album "Rauka"

Note: Although some local Gospel artists are launching albums, it still seems hard for most Gospel artists to do so and they still are obsessed with launching singles. This is not so promising as far as mentoring new artists is concerned...

Extraordinary stuff and surprise local collaborations
1. Pitson did "Lingala Ya Yesu" and Allan Aaron came up with "System Ya Kigoolinga" as the remix. Not bad.
2. For the first time ever, both Kenyan female and male artists came together to do Christmas carols. That was extraordinary indeed.
3. Chuchu and Guardian Angel featured in Adonai
4. Jimmy Gait and DJ Mo featured in Huratiti Remix

New local artists that did amazing stuff this year
1. Bern - this guy has style and he has a voice. He's gonna go places.
2. Evelyn Wanjiru - I think she was what Mercylinah Wambugu was to our contemporary Swahili worship last year. Her music is cool, and her voice is enticing. She too is going places.
3. Guardian Angel - If I were to vote in who is the best male vocalist in this nation, I guess he'll battle for the first spot with Bern. I'm always wondering why he's not getting recognition in mainstream media while his work is both exemplary and exceptional... but I also think time will tell...
4. Elsie - she reminds you of Mercy Masika. Yes, although I haven't researched on who she truly is, she is really good.
5. Zoe - she collaborated with one Rebecca Soki Kalwenze (you should remember her from a song she did with one Lady Bee and Eunice Njeri) to bring us one great Zuk song: Salama. Great stuff.

Local Artists that made a grand comeback
1. Esther Wahome - she made a comeback this year doing Zuk songs. I think she has improved.
2. Chuchu - Yeeeas! She's beautiful and she gat a voice. She came back with a bang and ensured that every song she featured in was a hit. I'm looking forward to greater stuff from her.

2014 is a year to remember for...
1. Bahati - won the best male artist, Groove Awards. Songs like Mama and Barua have become anthems of some sort in most parts of this country.
2. Lecrae - topped Bill Board charts for days in a raw.
3. Pitson - the dude has literally soared. That Lingala Ya Yesu song killed it. But this dude didn't join this game yesterday, naah. He's been here for a while and I guess this was the year of his favor...

African songs that hit me hard this year
1. Tembalami (Bayete Remix) - a high tempo Zimbabwean song by one Zowie Mutangadura.
2. Yabo - although released two years ago, it really hit me hard this year.
3. Sing To You (New Song) - a song by one Tybe. A beautiful chiq with a great voice and a compelling message.

The following went to be with the Lord (R.I.P):-
1. Kaberere
2. Bishop Ben Bahati
3. Kefee (Nigerian)

4. John Nyika (audio producer)

That's all for today, guys. Have a musical 2015!! 〽

Bonface Morris.

Reviews 2014: The Movies and TV Shows I Watched In 2014

Reviews 2014: Movies And TV Shows

After a one month break from writing, the I'm doing my last two posts for this year, and it is all about #Reviews2014.

These two posts will seek to review - not comprehensively but slightly - how entertainment went down in my tiny world this year.

So much did happen this year, and this is what we're going to address in these two posts.

I'll first begin with the Movies and TV Shows that caught my eye and mind this year.

...........................................................

Well, if you're not a movie/TV show freak, then this is none of your business. I also know that there is a good number of you guys who know about this stuff more than I do; I don't mind that you do know that much, so feel free to drop me a few movies/TV shows you may feel I left out on this list.

Here are the movies and TV shows that made 2014 a year worthy remembering:-

Top 5 Thriller/Action/Science Fiction Movies
1. Brick Mansions
A movie about bringing justice and serenity to a city. You feel the deep furrow created by impunity and classes in this movie. Is justice served? Well, you should know if you watched it.

2. The Purge: Anarchy
A great movie on eugenics. Guys interested in studying anthropology, classes and ethics will find this one very interesting.

3. Lucy
You know this one. It is science fiction and it is action. Some sort of heart and brain teaser. Oh, but it's all fiction...

4. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Nice plot. A good buildup on the conflict between man and apes after an apocalyptic virus attack. (Yeah, it seems everyone is in a frenzy over the end of the world nowadays. They forget the truth though.) You know Koba and the whole story...

5. Hercules
Oh yeah, Hercules. Yes, Hercules!! :-)

6. (Bonus) 300 - Rise of the Empire 

7. (Bonus) Transformers: Age of Extinction

Top 5 Comedy Movies
1. Moms Night Out
This one made me laugh. Also, I think it was because there is an oblivious Pastor's wife in the setup. And I know you identified with most parts of the movie...

2. A Million Ways to Die in the West
Man, if laughter kills, I'd be 3 months gone. #TrueStory. Of course it was a story of romance with a western touch. The cowboyish thingy thrilled me, and I laughed. Yes, I really really laughed.

3. Tammy
You remember Identity Thief? Yes, Melissa McCarthy was back!! And as always, her sense of humor equals her weight... (Aah, don't pick up stones to throw at me priss.)

4. Let's Be Cops
Two buddies are pretending to be police officers. The rest is lots of drama...

5. 22 Jump Street
After 21 Jump Street, I wasn't going to miss this one... Schmidt and Jenko go deep undercover at a local college, and they really really know their stuff... :-)

Top 5 Real Life/Drama Movies
1. Gone Girl
A movie about "finding Amy", infidelity and revenge. 2 and a half hours, but worthy it. Deep script. Heavy poetry. Blackmail. Yeah.

2. Open Windows
The name isn't promising, it fools you to think it's fake. Again, it may actually also be a thriller/science fiction movie, but who cares? It was an amazing movie... and it really did play with my mind...

3. Blended
What thrilled me were those scenes done in Africa. Yes, right here, next door... The dances and music were exaggerated though... It is all about romance comedy. Isn't that real life? Oh well...

4. Birdman
A washed-up actor who once played
an iconic superhero must overcome
his ego and family trouble as he
mounts a Broadway play in a bid to
reclaim his past glory. (Summary by IMDB)

5. If I Stay
Life changes in an instant for young
Mia Hall after a car accident puts her
in a coma. During an out-of-body
experience, she must decide whether
to wake up and live a life far different
than she had imagined. The choice is hers if she can go on. (Summary by IMDB).

Top 5 Christian Movies
1. Noah
Okay, there was a lot of controversy and heckling on this one but the point was delivered. That's what matters.

2. Son of God
The story is told by John the apostle. It retells the life of Jesus and is an adaptation of the ten-hour TV miniseries The Bible, broadcasted by History Channel.

3. Left Behind
Nicolas Cage is starring in this apocalyptic thriller. It has a great plot an flow in it.

4. Ragamuffin
It started well and I was excited that it was the story of one Rich Mullins, but I think they lost the plot somewhere... I think.

5. God's Not Dead
A Christian college student (Shane
Harper ) finds his faith challenged by a philosophy professor who believes that God does not exist...

Top 5 Overrated Movies
1. Edge of Tomorrow
I didn't see the need to repeat a dream or hallucination a halfway right through the movie. Yaiks!!

2. Exodus: Gods and Kings
I'm planning to watch it. People who know stuff say it's overrated, so it should be. But I'll leave that to my judgment after watching it.

3. Frozen
It is actually from 2013 but I have to mention it here. I thought I'd get burned with awesomeness after watching this. I dozed. And never finished watching it.

4. Guardians of the Galaxy
Oh well, it may have been interesting to you but it didn't knock me down. And if it didn't, then it didn't. 

TV Shows that got me/us excited
1. Gotham
We are saving a city. That's what we do. (Yeah, and those are my own lines :-))... There is also something weird about the likes of Penguin in this show...

2. The Flash
Superhero fiction. Closely resembles Arrow. Who doesn't like this? Really?

3. Sleepy Hollow
It came back this year. You know the story.

4. Faking It (2014)
Romantic Comedy. Full of teens, but who cares? As it goes, I'll make my girl like it... Eventually. (None of your business also.)

5. Crisis
Everyone knows this one. If you don't, then you really don't know great and amazing stuff. The thing was discontinued. Poor America.

6. Reckless (US)
It came, swept us off our feet, then got canceled. Poor America. Utterly poor America.

7. The Strain
Three things: vampires, horror and drama. Endpoint? You still don't have to like it. You don't.

8. The Lottery
A post-apocalyptic and conspiracy thriller. Drama. Interesting.

And many more...

Note: By the way, all Android faithfuls are (partially) mourning (yeah,  we gat other options anyway) because TVTag aka GetGlue is shutting down. They had become mean, and it seems their meanness is taking them to the grave. RIP tvtag. I won't miss you that much.

Bonface Morris.