Is Singing A Lesser Gift?

If there is a question that comes with arguments and controversy in Christian circles - and especially among those concerned with singing and worship service in the church - it is this one.

It punches worship leaders in the face.

I have even heard that it punches some so heavily to the extent that they are convinced to altogether forsake singing in church in exchange for "the pursuit of a greater and more influential gift...;" because (seemingly) it has been "revealed" to them that music, as a service, is not worthy a crown of glory when we meet Christ on the last day.

What is it all about anyway? What is this pursuit for a greater gift all about?

A pastor teaching a worship team on the importance of the music ministry in the Church

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It may be true that we place less emphasis on the importance and difference of/between gifts and services in the church or that we choose to play middle ground when addressing this matter. The latter is due to avoiding strife on doctrinal matters and therefore covering up our fear with negligence and abandoning the course of teachings on such matters.

Somewhere, you may hear one or two (or several) pastors (music pastors or pastors in general) bellowing: "this or that gift is superior to this or that gift" and so forth and so on, while trying to convince their congregation about gifts and services. 

Elsewhere, another couple of men of God will be heard exalting the significance of the Holy Spirit in empowering Christians in service; and that any one with a gift or a service can be effectively used to bring glory to God in one or many other ways.

There is a third group though. This one denies that singing (or as we love calling it, worship) is not a gift and it therefore has no room among the "major gifts" in the Church. This, they support with a Scripture we all know quite well: Ephesians 4:11-12 (NKJV) "And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ..."

Although it does not descriptively and categorically mention that these mentioned above (apostleship, prophesy, evangelism, pastoral work and teaching) are the so-called "five major gifts" in the Church, this group jumps up with this Scripture in defense of their aptness in such matters. It is therefore a dogma among its members that music (or any other gift or service whatsoever) holds no seat amongst the "big five gifts."

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In trying to defend the language with which Christ through His Spirit speaks in many places, and while in some other way attempting to solve this mix-up, I can give us one example which is very practical: in Acts Chapter 10, the apostle Peter is hungry one afternoon and is caught in a trance which leads to the following conversation between him and the Lord (Acts 10:13-15) "And a voice came to him, 'Rise, Peter; kill and eat.' But Peter said, 'Not so, Lord! For I have never eaten anything common or unclean.' And a voice spoke to him again the second time, 'What God has cleansed you must not call common...'"

Why am I bringing up this story? Consider this...

Christ and Peter could look at the same thing (food) and funny enough, both agree and disagree on what it stood for. According to Peter, the food that was being presented him was unclean. And he was right: God had initially proclaimed the food unclean (Leviticus 11); but now, in this very encounter, the Lord declares the food clean. Was God contradicting Himself? No, I don't think so. Why then was it both "clean" and "unclean" at the same time? It fights logic, right?

Okay, I think it was because the Lord wanted Peter to become flexible to His voice and understand deeply why at all the food could be both clean and unclean. That His voice mattered more than the food. That the issue of clean-ness  and unclean-ness was less important as compared to the ultimate goal that was being sought after. 

...His voice matters more than the food...

This sounds paradoxical yeah, but it is the truth.

When we keenly consider the above conversation, we can, to a considerable extent, draw a conclusion and say that they are both wrong and right all who say, "singing is a lesser gift" and that "singing is not a lesser gift..." Because just as food (in its being clean or unclean) does not really matter in Peter's case but the One who created and serves it to him that afternoon, so does the "less-ness" or "greatness" of music as a service or gift matter to the One who gives it to us for His own glory!

It doesn't matter whether the gifts/services being used in the Church are "major" or "minor"; what matters is whether they are being used effectively for the purpose for which they are/were intended. 

It doesn't matter how many talents the servant was given in Jesus' parable below. What matters is whether the talents were put to work or not!!

Matthew 25:14-15, 19-20, 22, 24-26: "For the kingdom of heaven is like a man traveling to a far country, who called his own servants and delivered his goods to them.

And to one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, to each according to his own ability; and immediately he went on a journey.

After a long time the lord of those servants came and settled accounts with them.

So he who had received five talents came and brought five other talents, saying, 'Lord, you delivered to me five talents; look, I have gained five more talents besides them.'

He also who had received two talents came and said, 'Lord, you delivered to me two talents; look, I have gained two more talents besides them.'

Then he who had received the one talent came and said, 'Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed.

And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours.'

But his lord answered and said to him, 'You wicked and lazy servant, you knew that I reap where I have not sown, and gather where I have not scattered seed."

In another example, the apostle Paul notes the following to the Corinthian church to show them that every gift (whether important or less important) mattered in the house of God, and that the weaker/lesser gifts (as the Corinthian church was convinced to see them) were being used by God for a greater purpose and to fulfill the unity of the Church...:-

1 Corinthians 12:21-25: "The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I do not need you,' nor in turn can the head say to the foot, 'I do not need you.' On the contrary, those members that seem to be weaker are essential, and those members we consider less honorable we clothe with greater honor, and our unpresentable members are clothed with dignity, but our presentable members do not need this. Instead, God has blended together the body, giving greater honor to the lesser member, so that there may be no division in the body, but the members may have mutual concern for one another."

...God has blended together the body, giving greater honor to the lesser member, so that there may be no division in the body, but the members may have mutual concern for one another...

Whether our enthusiasm in service through singing is in any case killed or promoted due to our doctrinal standings, it is all upto us. We may choose to mumble and fumble in indecision with which side to take, but it's all irrelevant to Christ. We may choose to take no stand at all - it really doesn't matter to Him. What matters is how well our ears are inclined to the voice of the Spirit of God as He attempts to align our tiny theological standings on the part music plays in the Church to His own, for the foolishness of God is wiser than men and the weakness of God is greater than men (1 Corinthians 1:25.)

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The other few things that are good to understand and put mind as we follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit concerning music in the church are the questions answered below:-

1. What is a gift (or a spiritual gift)?

A gift, in Christian service, refers to the ability given to a Christian by the Holy Spirit towards serving the body of Christ. Also, according to this post and this one I wrote earlier on on discovering your abilities, gifts and talents, talents can compliment or grow into gifts.

References: Romans 1:11,  Romans: 12:6-8, 1 Corinthians 7:7, 1 Corinthians Chapter 12, 1 Corinthians Chapter14.

2. What are services?

A service is work done by a Christian (as one person or group) that benefits another person, group and/or God.

References: Romans 12:1, 2 Corinthians 9:12, Ephesians 6:7, Revelation2:9.

3. Who gives gifts and services?

Christ/God through the Holy Spirit.

Reference: Refer to the Scriptures above.

4. Why are gifts and services given to the Church?

(a) For edification (uplifting, encouragement and enlightenment) of the church (1 Corinthians 12:7)

(b) Declaration of both God's goodness and commands (1 Timothy 4:13)

(c) For the betterment of our relationship with God - Him talking and walking with us, and us doing the same (Romans12:1 and Hebrews 13:15-16.)

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As I finish off, here is what C S Lewis had to say one day:

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

So it is whenever God uses our gifts and services in His presence: it is all for His glory.

Note: Most Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

End note: If you have ever tried to think that singing/ministering in music is a lesser gift, try telling that to the 24 elders and angels in Heaven.

Bonface Morris.

Mixed Feelings

By Larry Savalla

You may tend to wonder why the title is 'Mixed Feelings'. To be honest, if you were in my position, you would be too.

Ever since mum said to me that KCSE Results are being announced on Tuesday, I must say it has been #!?*@$. (Somewhere between heaven and hell. I don't know if there's anything like that, but if there is, it should be Earth :-) )

Now, it's just some hours to Tuesday. The Red Letter Day. (Just like we used to write down our titles in the BEST compositions we ever wrote in Primary School).

All the memories of High School are running through your mind. Especially those times that you wasted time doing everything else instead of reading.

You may be in this situation;

All you can think of right now are the exams. You can clearly recall all the papers that were difficult to you during the Exam period. In the inside of you, you are frightened and scared. You are not sure if you'll pass or fail. Passing and Failing all depend on the target you had set for yourself.

This FEAR is really torturing you.  All your pals look okay and not tensed.  When someone reminds you of the Exam Release you put on a brave face and say, "I'm Good!" yet deep inside yourself there is turmoil and you know what you really feel - that which nobody else sees or knows.

Unfortunately, for me, I don't lie. I just say what I feel and I didn't say I am afraid.  

I am not good at encouraging people, but to those who are afraid,  God has a plan for you. Believe you'll pass and you will. Trust in God and let Him have his way in your life.  Whether you'll get an 'E' or an 'A', only God knows where your grades will take you. At least that's what I can say to you.

Thanks to taking your precious time to read this article.

Signed,
Larry Savalla.

Larry just finished High School last year and He both loves Christ and is cool like that :-). Expect more from him as he moves into the next phase of his life. 

The Love Language (#ValentinesExclusive)

Once in a while, you look at two people in love and you love it. You just love it. 

The way they look at each other, the way they talk to each other, the way they coyly smile at each other, the way they "get" each other... You just love it. (I don't know if this is how guys feel about me with my bae, haha.)

Valentines is all about celebrating love. And it is possible that you'll be seeing a lot of that today. If you're single, never mind. Your time will come and you will be a menacing portrait to another person who will be in the position you are in today. 

Inasmuch as we may feel all sorts of things concerning the love birds and love tings we will be seeing today, it is still important to note that love is necessary; and that celebrating love goes hand-in-hand with celebrating the fullness of life.
There is nothing as special as knowing that you're being loved (or are being shown that you are loved) just the way you would wish to be loved. (That's what I am praying for all of us in relationships today: that we will experience love and give it forth wholeheartedly.)

While intently looking at Valentines Day, you may be asking, "Is it bad for a young saved person to fall in love? And what about celebrating this day?"
To the first question I'll say, Yes and no. Yes because if you're of age and are ready to get into marriage, there's nothing wrong with it. Fall in love all you can and get married to a fellow Christian. And "no" because you may be underage, still in school, having other motives rather than marriage, you are lustful e.t.c.
And to the second question I'll wonder, "When did it become bad or evil to celebrate love in a manner that pleases God?" So go out and have fun!!

Celebrating love is like celebrating the fullness of life... 

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Also, there are many types of falling in love. I'll mention a few;
1. One where you love each other but don't even understand each other. In this case, it is the "love" that matters, so to say. If it "disappears", so does the relationship. (But true love does not fail, so it can't just "disappear".)

2. One where you are the only one in love, while the other party is busy wondering what is wrong with you. They are busy telling you that you don't deserve them or that they don't deserve you. Oh my, oh my!!

3. One where you are in love with another person whom you clearly know (they) WILL NEVER be yours.

4. One where they love you more and you care less about why they are this crazy over you. As in The Clash of Types case.

5. One where you don't only love each other but are also in good sync with each other. Where you understand what the other one needs in the relationship and you both work hard towards giving it to them (here I'm not talking about sex or anything explicit or unacceptable in Christian dating circles... but of such things as I'll mention below.)

According to my views in this post, it doesn't really matter what cadre of falling in love your relationship shares. It doesn't. Anything is possible once you understand what I'm addressing today.

Some people would want to call this last part of my examples above (that is number 5) "soul mates". They define soul mates to be two people (of opposite sex) who are really "in sync" with each other and after "discovery" of this, they're now in a relationship.

But the idea of soul mates is rather secular. It tends to revolve around the lame fact that we can only fall in love with one person forever, and that there is that one special person that is meant oooonly for us and that we are meant oooonly for them. This notion insists that if we lose this one person, our relationship lives are done.

This is not true. 

God does not say so. He says to all single people (and even to the married) that relationships are a choice. (This is said in many ways in the Bible.) We freely choose whom we want to walk with in our relational lives. We may make good or bad choices, but they are our choices.
God will reward us according to our choices, meaning, if we choose someone outside His criterion and Will of choice, there are consequences. Also, there are rewards if we choose according to what He instructs us to choose. Therefore, they are our choices that determine our destiny as far as relationships are concerned.

God does not make mistakes, so if we choose according to His Will for our lives, we are likely to find what the world calls soul mates. But in this regard (in God's case), it is never limited to a one person forever. No. God can give us a person to love, then if death occurs and the marriage covenant is broken, we can fall in love again and marry another soul mate...

This means that we can fall in love over and over again and have multiple "soul mates" if we choose to. 

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The mysterious thing about falling in love (which is actually just a way of two conscious people of opposite sex and of age saying "we are deeply interested in each other") is that you can do it over and over again. "But why and how?" you ask, "Why and how is it possible to fall in love a million times, Morris? "

I'll show you how...

Each person you meet, interact with and call your type scores a certain degree of compatibility that is above average which qualifies them as potential partners in your life. (Click the link to read and understand what I mean.) In such a case, in order to create a mutual ground for agreement/unity or love, you two need to deeply understand each other in order to meet each other's needs in the relationship. This can happen to any of the 6 out of 20 or to any of the 100 out of 1,000 people you think are your type.

This is where The Love Language  comes in. It matters a lot in relationships because it helps us communicate to our partners in various ways that will make them feel cared for and loved. Everyone has their love language (a way or manner in which they prefer to be treated in order to feel loved or cared for by the other person.)

If not put into consideration, this causes a great percentage of incompatibility, misunderstandings, heightened reactions of "they are not my type!!", breakups and even divorce. In fact, most breakups and divorces are either due to a misconstrued/misunderstood love language, a partner that has no idea about what "the love language" of the other person is, emotional absence or unfaithfulness.

It therefore follows that in order to have successful relationships in any type of falling in love, we need to learn a few of the things to "speak" to the other person that makes them feel loved, cared for and appreciated. We may need to ask them about it, use discernment, use intuition or learn through their closest friends. 

The Love Language 

Herein I'll address a few love languages known to me. What I list below is not conclusive but will act as a guide in deciphering your partner's and your own love language:

1. Most people's love language involves hearing their girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband thank and compliment them out of the blue. It goes like this, "Baby, you remember when you did this (or that) for me/us/my friend? Thanks a lot. It really mattered to me..." 95% of men are really made to thrive through such appreciation and kind words. Do this occasionally and next time he'll bring the planet Venus to you.

2. Women differ in their love language when money is involved. Some feel more loved when you use your money on them, some prefer occasional gifts, some want the cash itself while others don't even care. Just lemme promise you that there is no woman in this world who doesn't feel loved when her man spends his money on her. What differs is how, why and when you use it.

3. Most people's love language involves you sacrificing to spend some quality time with them. When you sacrifice to meet their needs in the relationship, it tells them how much you care. Ladies call it interest and attention. Men call it support and commitment. You hear that? The same thing, but given differently.

4. All men feel loved and needed when you respect their opinions and support their leadership. All women feel respected when you involve them in decision making and in your day-to-day endeavors.

5. Some people feel loved (and mostly women/ladies) when you remember special days like their birthdays, anniversaries, special events/days like today e.t.c. 

6. Small acts of tenderness and compassion speak volumes to most people's hearts. Such people fall in love with a person's generous heart and kindness.

7. Some people have a unique and weird love language (like myself). I feel loved when you correct me the moment I'm wrong and when you respond to what I need to know about things. I feel cared for in this way because I normally think that the person who loves me would want to see me grow, and that can't happen without following up on what I do and trimming out the bad parts. I feel uneasy around someone who always thinks that I am right. Correction makes me feel that you're deeply interested in who I am and what I want to be.

8. Other weird people have a language that requires that you occasionally become cruel to them. Cruel but not violent. I know some who say that this trims them to know if they're still on the right path or if they've lost the way. Such people, they say, grew up being molested; so the only way they'll feel cared for is when someone is slightly cruel to them. This is weird, but it's their love language. (And I don't even think Scripture supports it anyway.)

Other love languages include:

9. Shared goals - such people feel loved when they share most goals with their partners.

10. Doing dishes, laundry or cooking for your partner once in a while (for the married guys.)

11. Open compliments about your partner to your friends in their presence or on social media.

12. Shopping together or having an impromptu date together or having a workout together or having a walk in the park together or sharing a hobby or watching a movie together or listening to music and dancing together e.t.c.

13. Reading Scripture and praying together - having a Bible Study together.

14. Checking on them from time to time in the course of the day even when you're busy. This includes saying hi in the morning and before going to bed.

15. Hugging when you meet. (There are some people who really feel distant and taken for granted when you don't hug them at all or when you hug them differently from the way you normally do.)

And so forth and so on...

Notably, one person can have upto ten factors or special things within their love language.
It is also true that the very things we call petty in our relationships might be the very things that matter most. Why? Because when we do such "petty" things, we score highly on the love graph that are the hearts of our partners. 

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So the question is (which is my question too): even as you celebrate this Valentines, are you paying attention to what your partner wants or are you giving them WHAT YOU THINK they like/want? Is it possible that you are giving them the exact opposite of what they would have wished for?

Do you know what they want or what they don't? Is it possible that you're taking them out yet they would have preferred you cooking them lunch today? Is it possible that they don't really care for flowers like every other lady does? Is it possible that he would have preferred you buying him a whole month internet subscription to you buying him an extra shirt? Do we normally listen when they're saying the things that are closer to her heart?
Think about it. 

And, er, do you know your own love language?

(Have a blessed Valentines Day as share this with a friend. :-) It might be their only way out of the rut they are in. )

I love you all.

For #ValentinesExclusive, Valentines Day, 2015.

Bonface Morris. 

Are Relationships Complicated? (#ValentinesExclusive)

You've probably read on most people's Facebook bio under relationship status (I guess it is only Facebook that is really interested in our relationship statuses) that "IT'S COMPLICATED".

I for once wanted to do the same: say that relationships are complicated... Oh, in fact, I wrote a blog post on it to support that notion sometimes back. Read it here.

The funny thing is that, no, relationships are actually not that complicated. I've realized that we are the ones that complicate them.

I'll pass you through why I think so. And I probably will manage to convince you on why you should change your Facebook relationship status to I-think-I've-been-stupid-in-relationships-and-it's-all-my-fault...

I think most of the challenges and complications we meet in our relationships are bred, fed and nurtured by us.

Take for instance a lady that decides to be the incessant/all-time "bread winner" in a relationship from the word go. She thinks it is okay to "take care of the love of her life" in such a way and therefore tolerates buying her sweetheart stuff, helping pay his rent, paying his bills, bailing him out when people are on his neck hunting him down for their money e.t.c.. The thing is that she is not looking beyond...

So, by the time the future comes (even the near future), what do you expect her to post on social media after she realizes that she has been being used? She'll tell us how "complicated men in the millennia are", while sincerely, it was her own fault to ignite the car without looking keenly at the fuel gauge.

Another example is when a guy decides to overlook the bad manners of his lazy and money-loving girlfriend.
This is how it goes: he knows that she's doing nothing to positively serve herself and the people around her but he ignores it all. She has told him before (several times actually) stuff like this: "Honey," she says, "...you know what? I can't wake up before 9am. And if they tell me to do any house chores at home, I always pretend that I'm not feeling well. Also, I never stop watching a TV Show until it's into its season finale. I can watch a great TV Series for a whole day without blinking. Honey, I think we'll just be buying food when we get married, right? Because I abhor cooking. My brother irons my clothing... My mom does the laundry... My dad ensures I look good..." And she goes on and on.

What is the guy not hearing? He is overlooking his girlfriend's laziness and hedonism. And when the going will go tough (and it sure will), he'll start blaming all the women in the world for the very things they've never done.

Do you now get me? Our complicated relationships are our own fault. True story.

So, what are those things we do that complicate our relationships with or without knowing it (at least by 90%)?
Here's a list of some those things:

1) We overlook the small mistakes and wrongs we hear from and see in our girlfriends or boyfriends
We allow love to blur our vision of the true nature of the other person. We love with all our hearts minus all our minds.
He is violent. She is rude. He is carnal. She is selfish. His mom is his goddess. Her dad is her god. He is stingy and mean. She is a busy body and full of gossip. He is aptly jealous. She is dishonest and a liar. He is unfaithful and loves money above you. She is evil.
We see all these things in the first month of the relationship, but do we normally do anything about it? No. That's how complications chip in.

2) We overlook the defined rules we have been given for our relationships
God says (literally), "My son/daughter, don't date a pagan or a non-believer. Date a mature Christian who's growing and seeks to grow more in me...", but we go on and say, "Lord, I don't think You understand... You don't gerr-it. This one will eventually change. Huyu ni tofauti..." And when the world crumbles (because it sure will), we cry out loud, "It's all sooo complicated..."

3) We overlook our and their intentions of getting into the relationship
Some of our ladies know that "he's just in this relationship for the sex and/or the money..." (By the way, why do you, as saved people, engage in sex? It is sinful!) As a saved lady, such an issue should be addressed immediately before it grows into something else. But our awesome all-knowing millennial ladies choose to overlook this. The moment will come when he is obsessed with his desires and you'll go into depression saying: men are complicated. Which men? Your man wanted sex, and he's draining your pocket. That's what he was doing. He was not interested in you!!

The same thing applies to we millennial guys. She interviewed you in the beginning, on the first date, remember? You felt like it was a job interview or something. But you took it lightly. She later cunningly moved to your place - without your permission (and you are saved!! Really?). She uses your card without your permission. She never asks you questions about YOU. She rarely offers to support you in anything, but she never delays to ask for favors for herself. Like, how many favors has she asked for since the year began that are all about her? Twenty? Oh my friend, you're dating a narcissistic and self-centred lady. It will drop bruh, it will drop.
What are you waiting to see so that you may prove that she's manipulative and that you are her puppet, and you now need to run away? Complicated, right?

4) We overlook their dismal relationship with God
When was the last time you fought with your girlfriend/boyfriend about their relationship with God and their commitment to their church and the things of God? Or about how often they pray, read their Bible or attend church? You've never done it? Hah, and you expect less complications in that relationship? Here is the blunt line: if the Lord is neither a priority to both of you nor the foundation of the relationship, it will surely sink!! And it will end up veeeery complicated.

5) We overlook other people's warnings concerning our relationships
You know, it seems we've grown so knowledgeable that we think we can teach our parents. That's what we think. We've been warned by our parents or guardians or (insert the name of an elderly person who warns us here) several times about that girl/boy, haven't we? What did we do about it? We ranted. We took offense. Tulicatch feelings. We said stuff like this, "Ooh come on, give me a break!! This is my life. I live my life, you don't and will never live it for me...!!"

6) We overlook what Scripture tells us concerning a good friend, wife or husband
The Bible is full of guidelines and instructions on who is a good friend, a good wife and who is the good husband. We don't need a 50 Shades of Grey or Steve Harvey or Oprah or Mills And Boon best-seller to explain anything to us. We don't even need me. It is right there in our Bibles!! And o how blessed we millennials are!! Bibles are all over the place. There's a Bible on your phone, in your room, on your desktop, on that tablet, on the internet... There are Bibles everywhere... But do we inquire to know what the Lord says concerning what a good friend/wife/husband looks like? Naaaah. What do we normally do? We normally use our own understanding (which Scripture warns about in Proverbs) to criss-cross and judge the right/best person for us. This normally leaves us with complicated relationships.

The Bible gives Christ as the best example of what a good boyfriend/husband should look like, and the Church as an example of what a good girlfriend/wife should look like. (I'll address this in detail in another post this month.)

7) We ignore and overlook the relationship boundaries that have been stipulated for us
So they made their move on you and you already had a girlfriend/boyfriend? Why didn't you tell them there and then? Why did you wait until your girlfriend/boyfriend met her/him carelessly flirting with you? You see, if your real girlfriend/boyfriend heats up because of you carelessly switching your relationship boundaries, it's your fault. You overlooked the boundaries.

Also, why are you giving them too much room yet they ain't your husband/wife? Come on! Don't dare give them the privileges that only belong to a husband/wife. Don't complicate things...!!

The above are good reasons to help us see that we complicate our own relationships and that we need to do something about it before it is too late.

For #ValentinesExclusive Valentines Day 2015.

Bonface Morris.

Stuff I Learned and Discovered Last Year (2014 Edition)

Last year, I shared with us a few things I had learned from 2013. I may not be all that cool in studying stuff yeah, but I am really good at noting things down. (Yes, I know I am, haha.)

You can read that post here.

So after last year's post, I thought, "Why can't we be doing this annually?" Then the reply came back: not bad, not bad at all.

Herein, I am unleashing a few lessons from 2014, aligned in no order at all...

1. I discovered that the best thing a person can do to themselves is to either be fully involved in something or not to be involved in anything at all. The truth is this: playing middle ground is both unhealthy and dissatisfying. It elevates indecision, and indecisive minds build no real castles.

2. If and when something (or stuff) is wrong, stop and fix it. Playing passive won't help a thing. I have discovered that people who complain about things without making effort to make them right are worse than those who don't care about whatever is happening.

3. Failure creates masterpieces out of men if they use it well. I believe that those who have failed before are better teachers than those who only believe in success.

4. Stuff comes and stuff goes; nothing lasts forever. Nothing except things that concern the Heaven of God.

5. We ride on different levels of integrity, intelligence, origin, ability and self-drive. This means that it is useless and demeaning to your awesome self to compare yourself to others. It is better if you compared your new self to who you were yesterday or a few minutes ago; there, you'll be growing.

6. Our social media platforms (Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and WhatsApp) are full of people and families wanting to make you feel that your life is so boring, less advanced, eventless and you ain't all that blessed as they are. But it is not always that way. There are so many of us that pretend almost about everything. It is an art we have perfected.

7. You can't fully satisfy everyone. (The key word here is FULLY.) Playing God to people in/and their lives/needs will only leave you drained, burnt out and extremely exhausted for nothing. That's why there is God, then there is man. Stick to being a human being and you'll be safe.

8. One of the worst habits to pick is that of doing something (whether good or bad) because everyone else is doing it. This is called "being a junk cabinet". You always end up junky.

9. God is not my servant, nor is He yours. We shouldn't therefore try to dictate how He works in or through us on any given day.

10. Serve the LORD. If He blesses you, well and good; if He doesn't, serve Him. He'll bless you anyway. Oh, and He knows why you serve Him anyway. You can't fool Him.

11. My spiritual life is not dependent on my leader or pastor. Blaming either or both of them for what goes wrong with it is like Judas Iscariot blaming Christ for falling out.

12. If I boast of what I do or what I am able to do, I boast foolishly.

13. People (including myself) will want you to do stuff for them like accomplish a project, meet a target, go somewhere on their/our behalf but they will never appreciate the sacrifices you made along the way to meet their demands. In short, most of us are really ungrateful, so put that in mind before offering us a helping hand.

14. Work with what you have. Stay contented. What you don't have is not yours, so don't plan your life using it. (This I learned when my employer transitioned from one small organization to a bigger one. People expected promotions and a salary increment. Both have not appeared.)

15. I've discovered that every moment a parent treats an 18 year old the same way they treat a 10 year old, they lose them by 2%. That means, it will only take 50 times of lack of confidence in a teenager to lose them completely. It also means that if a parent does it consecutively for a whole year, the child they'll be seeing in the next year will be totally different from the one they knew in the past year.

16. You are more awestruck (either positively or negatively) when you see yourself as you really are than when you look at others with an eye intending them to be the way you expect them to be. Try it one time.

17. Don’t peg your life on people. Because; they come and go, they change everyday, and because even the government subsides in meekness and uselessness. Pegging yourself on how people see you and think you are will bring you down. Brands/people are not liked passé, but brands are made to be loved with time.

18. Don’t think that you know it all. Sometimes silence is the best option. In 2014, I begun learning how to just say nothing at all. (I seem to be that guy who’s always talking about stuff so this has been bit of a challenge to me.)

19. Also, I realized that our relationships are affected by how much we speak – people abhor proud people who always think they know it all... So it is good to be aware that the so-called fools know some stuff about silence that the wise don’t.

20. God is here, God is there and… God is everywhere; but what counts in our relationship with Him is our consciousness of His omnipresence. He rarely moves unless we do. He loves me even at the very moments I think I don’t deserve it. He cares, and would love us to appreciate Him for who He is and what He does and also have a deep understanding of Him through a constant relationship with Him. He desires, above all, that we learn and grow in Him. He cares about our relationship with others around us too.

21. Hurry is the devil. Hurry changes nothing for the better. Actually, hurry fuels anxiety/fear, complaints and impatience which are the three things that are very much against the character that the LORD seeks to build in us. There is therefore no need to hurry in life. At all.

22. Entirely, nobody cares. This is the safest point of knowledge you can ever have, so use it for your own good.

23. Mostly, people want to be part of something great – something big – but they mostly have no idea of how to bring it about. Also, mostly, people only get involved in something that will eventually directly benefit them. Of these two kinds of people, I learned that leadership is about knowing how to meet the needs of both without necessarily satisfying them.

24. When you do nothing, you achieve nothing. Even God does something, why do we think that we shouldn’t? Riches and prosperity are outcomes of hard work. It is impossible to nurture success without hard work and commitment.

25. There is no limit to creativity and becoming better. Each one of us has the potential of becoming better. You can become better if you choose to and work hard on it. But remember that although copying the status quo may make you adopt easily, it will soon throw you out of business.

26. Creativity requires that you stretch your limits a little. It is tough, but is it always the father of invention.

27. When you use you as your own mirror and while using the Word of God as a reflection, then you can grow healthily amongst many of your type.

28. We die slowly in so many places without knowing. Gradual spiritual death to a Christian is maybe one of the most underrated things.

29. Every believer needs to learn and become equipped in Christian apologetics. Neither for "awesomeness" nor for their leader(s) sake, but for this very reason: it is a good thing and a mark of sanity to know and become sure of what someone believes in and to be able to defend that very course.

That's all for now.

Until next time,



Bonface Morris.

Hillsong Young & Free "This Is Living" EP Album (2015) mp3 Download

This Is Living EP official album art - Hillsong Young & Free, 2015

Hillsong Young & Free released an extended play album (EP in short - which is a musical recording that contains more music than a single, but is usually too short to qualify as a full studio album) "This Is Living" last week on Tuesday, January 13, 2015.

The EP features a track by the same name with Lecrae.

Taking on electronic dance music style with a little pop touch, Hillsong Young & Free offers a glimpse at Hillsong Church's Youth Ministry with the new EP's lead track "This Is Living," which has been available on iTunes and major music stores worldwide. 

"The wait is over! #ThisIsLiving is now available worldwide," the band wrote on Twitter on Tuesday last week and this threw many fans of their music (including myself) into a rush of anticipation. 

On featuring Christian Hip-hop singer and Grammy award-winner Lecrae on "This Is Living", they wrote and said,  "For us it was a dream come true to collaborate with Lecrae who we not only love and respect as an artist, but as someone who is a strong voice for freedom to this generation... If anyone's message echoes the message of 'This Is Living', it's Lecrae."

On Tuesday last week, Lecrae (@Lecrae) voiced his own excitement for the track's release, tweeting: "My friends @hillsongyandf just released their EP & I'm on the track #ThisIsLiving. Check it out here..." as he posted a link to where the fans may access and download the new music. 

Meanwhile, the new Young & Free EP also includes a newly-recorded version of "Sinking Deep," which was first released on the group's debut album "We Are Young & Free" released in 2013. An acoustic version of "This Is Living" is also among the new album's songs. Rounding out track list for "This Is Living" are the songs "Energy" and "Pursue."

The announcement of the new EP was also done via YouTube in a clip featuring Lecrae.

Here is the download link to the EP containing 5 songs:

Hillsong Young & Free "This Is Living" EP (2015) full mp3 download (21MB) 

Note:
This review was partly obtained from  www.christianpost.com.

Bonface Morris.

Gloria Muliro’s Divorce: My Views

I know very few married people in the Kenyan Christian fraternity will want to talk about this in the open. We will leave it to the world to blog about it as we always do. I know how laid back we are when it comes to taking action and facing stuff head-on – even when we are seeing how badly the world is seeing these nasty holes within the Church and the marriage institution itself (which is actually the pillar of the Church.) I don’t blame us. I don’t. But I am not going to keep quiet on this one this time round.

You see, when I heard about Gloria Muliro’s divorce yesterday on KTN's Tukuza Show before leaving for church, I was like, “Oh my God!! Is this it? Really?” And the question I have been asking myself is since that time is: what is actually very wrong with Christian marriages today?

Well, you may say, “Aaahhh Morris, you’re still a boy, unmarried, and you lack experience to talk about such issues… Wait until you get married and the going is tough then you’ll blabber all you want…!!” But I’ll answer back and say, “Oh, so you are experienced? Why don’t you then share with us your awesome experiences? Why wait until I am talking then you sway your criticism my way, huh?

Pastor Eric Omba and Gospel artist Gloria Muliro in a previous photo. Photo courtesy of Standard Media.

Marriage is complicated (that is what I hear from most of my numerous number of married friends) but are you not to help the unmarried (like myself) learn from your mistakes so that to build a church that is full of stable families? What is wrong with married people blogging and openly talking about their experiences in marriage? Why do they want us to keep falling in the same holes they fell in… (This excludes my youth patron and a few other awesome elderly people I know who make effort to ensure we don’t fall in the same traps they fell in in their days…)

A few weeks ago, late in 2014, I had this question haunting me: how come married people do not all-of-a-sudden wish to share with us - their previous friends in singlehood and some of us who are already in relationships - about the do’s and don’ts as far as marriage is concerned? Do they all-of-a-sudden meet demons that mute their views on various issues on relationships and marriage? Why don’t they then call us to action to cast out these devious demons?

The story of Gloria Muliro together with that of Betty Bayo which hit our TV screen late last year just fueled my need to get answers to the above questions. The exposure of saved people’s dirty laundry to the public (divorces et al) in a nation like our own where careless/irresponsible/ruthless blogging has become a profession to many idle youngsters is not a fair hit to the marriage institution which plays a big role to church doctrine and Christian values.

With such a revelation of two marriages with hurting women – and who are icons and mentors of many within the Christian community in this nation – it is good to say we (youth leaders/pastors) need to be very keen on who is getting married to who in the church. It may also be an indication that most saved people are masquerades, right? Although it is not right to dictate or choose “who” marries “who” within the church, premarital counseling should never be undermined. Let us not give the devil a loop hole to attack the church and then we later are heard complaining and casting him out yet it was our own carelessness and lack of concern for this institution that build him a home right in our midst!!

This story also reveals that it is possible that we have so many hurting people in Christian marriages who are not able to come out in the open and confess to the entire world (at least to the Christian world) that they need help like our esteemed mothers Gloria and Betty have done. (Issues of infidelity, dishonesty and violence in marriage are almost intolerable, right? And the Bible supports that one can opt for a divorce in such cases...) Is it not true that all we see out here are skeletons of the reality within the marriage institution? That the truth is so blunt that it would kill us with heart/mind-tetanus? Is it possible that a lot of marriages are suffering and that we are all pretending everything is well and are doing nothing about it? Is it also possible that many of we youth are only pretending to have been redeemed by Christ yet we are lions in sheepfolds seeking to prowl, kill and destroy God’s own flock?

Who will answer my questions? Because as far as marriage is concerned, and with all this going on, all the young people around us will need to get answers. Real answers. Solid and real answers. They may pretend they don’t know what is happening and that all-is-well, but deep within their trust and confidence in the marriage institution will slowly be fading away. Someone needs to stand up and tell us, “Heeeeey!! Guys, this is how it rolls... We are all pretenders. (at least.) Our marriages need your fasting and prayers. They need the LORD… When you see us do all the stuff you see us doing, don’t think we have it all figured out out and stuff… we need you too…”

Can’t somebody come up with a solution to these many questions that are now making people in the world go like, “Morris I told you… don’t marry in/from the church!! Don’t. Those guys are all a heck of beautiful pretenders…” (And I’ll want to defend the church as I always do…)

But is this true? Is it true that we are all a crowd of people who are in the church in order to get to snatch the best of what is there yet we don’t even know the LORD whom we are confessing? Is it true that we don’t sincerely love our girlfriends/boyfriends, fiancés/fiancées? Is it true that we are only seeking to use and misuse them? Is it also true that we don’t care so much about the pain we cause them? Is it true that we don’t care about what the LORD says concerning our character, growth and development as Christians? As His children? I don’t absolutely think so. I don’t.

We are not all pretenders. Some of us sincerely love the LORD: both ladies and we guys. Some of us are in church truly seeking God and not women/men, money or fame. Some of us sincerely love our girlfriends/boyfriends. Some of us are remorseful and apologetic when we wrong. Some of us care about how we make our partners and others feel. Some of us care about what ails our character and are ready to become better in the eyes of God. The church is not a mass of callous pretenders. I think there are a few here, in the church, that are spoiling the name of the church but it is not entirely true that we are all messed up and are lacking direction. It is not also entirely true that Christian marriages are not working. No. My parents’ marriage is working. Yours’ too. And many many others…

What do/did they do right that others don’t? That’s the question… and I/we deserve answers.

I am not married, but I will get married one of these fine days. Yes, I will. And this does not mean that I am predicting a faultless marriage on my side. No. We have our own challenges now, and we will have others once we are in the next step. We need guidance… and we will keep praying with the victims... And as far as I am not into marriage yet, I still deserve answers as to why the Church is both successful and also failing in marriage. I wish someone will write me an email on this… Is this too much to ask for?

Bonface Morris.

2015, I Promise

I don’t make New Year resolutions. I don’t. I just get into the New Year and continue from where I left off the previous year. I don't make New Year resolutions but I DO set goals for myself to guide my path into the next season. I may do that in the middle of the year, at the beginning or whenever. I'm just not into that New Year hysteria that grasps most of us...

Does that make me any different? Eh, and does it make me a proud person? Maybe. Am I proud of it? Yes. Why? I don't know.  

As you have already realized, I have decided to do things differently this year: I chose not to impulsively post in the first week of the year giving you hints on how I/you will run your life this year. I am not God. I have promised myself not to play God anywhere in your life or mine. Playing God is tough. I gat no skin for that... God is the only one that knows where we are headed to, how to go there, when and why... I can't do that... but all I can do is give direction. I can point you/us in a certain direction using God's words of Wisdom.

So what does that make me? A wise person? No. Wisdom is overrated. Mostly actually... It just makes me a messenger though: a servant who also depends on the same instructions I am sent to deliver.  

Okay, again, just to remind you; inasmuch as we say God is in control and we ain't trying to play Him, it does not entirely mean that we have to just sit around and wait for things/life to happen to us. No. People who do that end up more frustrated with life than you and I who choose to make a few steps or changes in/with our lives. Such people run around (or hang around) desiring change they cannot achieve. They expect too much of people and God without proving that they are worthy of the outcome. They wait for life to be born, fed and clothed as they watch. That takes forever; and the sad thing about it is that when it happens - when life/God happens after that forever - they can’t celebrate it that much... Because it won’t be that sweet for their celebration.

                             A victory after a war you have not fought in is not as sweet as that attained 

                                                            after the struggle of engaging in battle…

Now, considering that it is a New Year, and that learning is one of the best things that can happen to an individual (especially one that seeks to put in practice whatever they have learned), I will share with you in this month lessons learned from 2014 and tips that will not only put us in perspective with seeing life as “the big picture” it is, but that will also enhance our personal and spiritual growth. Maybe I'll convince you to be an all-round person who seeks growth in and out of season. Maybe.

So, to begin with, have you made any New Year  resolutions (yet)? Have you promised yourself to do a few things (God willing) for yourself, for those around you and for God? Do you have a list (either in your heart/mind or in writing/print) tucked away somewhere? Well, I am here to congratulate you. You are doing well (at least for now...) and are better than me.

..................................................................

WordWeb Dictionary defines a resolution as “a decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner”.

With this definition in mind, it means that we make resolutions all the time (or that we ought to make resolutions all the time). This also makes me wonder why people go in a frency over a New Year. A New Year is just a continuation of days from the previous days of a now ending year – but with different dates. We go into a New Year as the same people we were in the previous year. Nothing changes overnight. Really.

The truth about life is that there are things/resolutions that you made last year (probably 80% or more) that still stand unresolved or untouched, or that you tried, reached halfway and lost momentum to pursue. Also, if you are fond of making deep reflections on how your life is fairing on, it is likely that you are disappointed with yourself, with God or with the people around you that were to be part of the success or completion of those resolutions. You also are aware that after attending an overnight prayer meeting (kesha) on New Year's eve, nothing actually changed. It only helped in changing your attitude for this year, but your life still needs lots of your input.

You see, I'm just aligning you with reality: debts haven't disappeared (yet), your health still stinks as it was before Christmas, your pockets and financial life may even be in a worse state than before Christmas, you probably still own only a pair of shoes (one danging pair!!), your relationships life is still in a mess, you still have temper/anger issues, trust issues, food issues, friends issues, church issues, pride issues, boredom issues, lust issues... and so forth and so on.

That's the reality of things.

But let's twist it a little... What if you really desired change? What if you chose to pray to the LORD God to help you sort out your wretched life one piece at a time? What if you forgot about those empty, hysterical and impulsive New Year urges to make "New Year resolutions" and sought to do something different? What if you decided to work on your life diligently and steadily one moment and step at a time? What if you saw your life with the big picture in mind and not just as an enclosure or a portrait or a painting within a year? Maybe things would change, right?

That's how I'm convincing you to look at new years. Maybe you'll have something to celebrate at the end of this one. (For, by the way, there is always something to celebrate.)

Below, I'm listing things you can promise yourself to do (which are not hard to follow in any way) for your own daily personal growth as you look BEYOND 2015:-

1.      Allow the Lord to deal with you as He pleases 

• As He pleases? Yeah, as He pleases. Or you can try playing God in your life and see how that ends. 
• Where is your level of submission as far as God and Christian ministry are concerned? Are you promising yourself to consciously serve more? You should do so.  
•  Is the LORD alone enough for you regardless of what happens in/to your life in this year or anytime or do you think you need more than Him? If the LORD is not what you only need to move on, then your focus is blurry and you are standing or sinking sand. 
• There are things that will happen to your life this year and thereafter that you have no explanation for. Leave it in the Hands of God. He knows better. He does. 
•  Promise yourself to understand that God does not move and work out things in our lives because of how much we know, speak or declare but according to our faith; that's why righteousness is not the substance of knowledge and deeds but of faith in what God says concerning us and Himself. We can't impress God by how much we know but by how much we believe in what He says. So standing up on the first week of the year to declare things we don't believe can happen is as futile as flying to Heaven on an aeroplane. It's like chasing after the wind: useless.

2.      Expect more from God and less from man 

• To get satisfaction, promise yourself to seek to satisfy others more than you seek to be satisfied by them. 
• Learn that if you sacrifice and give more more to God and fellow man, you find yourself. You find God too. And when you find Him, he teaches you to fully put your hope and trust in Him. 
•  Leaning on people will suck the spiritual strength out of you. Know that the closer a person becomes to you, the more a threat they are to your relationship with God if they're not helping you move closer to Him. 

                           If the LORD is not the only one you need for life to move on, then your focus is blurry 

      and you are standing on sinking sand.

3.      Work around being contended with the little you have as you learn patience 

• Mostly, God wants to teach us three basic things as His children: love, patience and faith. Our Christian lives move along these lines. If we keep on failing in perfecting ourselves concerning these three, our spiritual lives will keep moving in circles and we may not experience radical growth in anything we do. 
• Promise yourself to write down every new gift or blessing you receive from people and the LORD on your calendar. Give them a unique color.  Review them at the end of the year and see how faithful God has been to you in the year. Then your contentment would have grown to a whole new level.

4.      Make less promises to people, except to yourself. 

• You’ll be disappointed less in yourself and you'll let no-one down. You'll feel less guilty and become less depressed. 
• At least you won't be playing God, so you'll become humble as the days go by.

5.      A change of attitude at any time of the year is far greater than 20 untouched New Year resolutions  

• The proud and arrogant person always thinks that the only way to see the world clearly is through their own eyes. Yet the more we learn to see the world around us differently, the better we become at serving it and wanting to change it. 
• A change in attitude changes everything. It changes how we love people, how we respond to situations, how we relate with God, how we live in our new environments. It changes everything around us. Everything. 
• Change yourself first. After that, the world will take care of itself. 

6.      Nothing will change unless we take/make a step to change it first. 

• You only win a race you compete in. Cheerleaders are part of the team yeah, but cheerleaders never receive the award; so stop being a spectator expecting stuff to change and benefit you when you haven't worked or participated in it. 
• Life needs a makeover from time to time; it's sad that we get lost in the obvious until we miss what we should get in our seasons of change. It's only when we learn to adapt to and celebrate change that we bring change. 
• Practically, if you’re a fan of romance and fantasy books and novels or movies and TV series, you should promise yourself to read more of Christian literature and watch more of faith-oriented movies not just this year but throughout your life. This is change. I also want us to understand that some goals go beyond a year. Growth is not a one year thing. Growth is eternal. Change too, is eternal. 

                                                         Growth is eternal. Change too, is eternal.  

7.      Keep the list of your goals simple, doable and measurable. 

• Unrealistic goals will make you think you're a failure, while in true sense you may not be. This is why I prefer calling what most people call "resolutions", goals. Calling them "goals" (and I may only have one goal per season) makes it easier to spot them and run towards accomplishing them. 
• You may write down your resolutions/goals in bullet format on your phone/tablet/computer calender app. I always feed them into the 1st January slot, and once accomplished, I come back and check them by indicating the date the goal was fulfilled. You can always scroll back and see your progress as the days go by. A goal set last year may as well be achieved this year. In such a case, enter in both slots of 1st January, 2014 and 1st January, 2015 to show you how long it has taken to work it out.

 8.      All the goals we set are beyond our natural abilities to enact or achieve, so consult the LORD 

• You wanna get married this year yet you don't have a boy/girlfriend? Don't you think that requires God? Yes? 
• You want to buy land and build a home? Involve God. 
• You want to further your education and pay your own fees? Involve God. 
• You want to finish school, get employed and enjoy life? Involve God. 

No goal we set (even that which we think we can accomplish on our own like taking our better halves for a date night) can be fruitful without involving God. He knows the way, so why not let Him lead?

This ain't the end.

I'll be back.

Bonface Morris.