This seems to be my second post (or maybe the third) about leadership on this blog. (Or so I think... They may be many. No?)
I always think the first one was this one; Leadership: Mentorship And Consultancy and then this one; Leadership: Guidelines to Leading Worship and Worship Teams Today. But the rest is for you to judge and conclude. There may be more.
 |
| Leading toxic people |
*******
First and foremost, leadership is a unique gift. It is unique because it calls for direct inescapable accountability. To be a leader, you need to have a close relationship with at least three attributes: commitment, accountability and team-building skills.
Of course you'd want to say responsiveness, creativity, decisiveness, risk-taking, adaptability, good character, being a visionary etc etc should be listed here too but I pick the above three because they relate more to this post than the rest. They are not the major ones, but they are relevant here for now.
NB: If you would like to read more on various Productivity, Leadership, Self-government and Management Principles, download this pdf booklet I compiled with materials from www.lared.org sometime back. It has proved to be quite useful to me over the years, and I know will be useful to you too. Here's the download »» Foundations For Achievement.
Having said this, it is good to note that the so-called "great leaders" (yeah, it depends with what greatness is all about to you) have a whole score of attributes that contribute to them being called "great".
If you were to ask most of them what contributes to "great" leadership, they would tell you that leadership requires sacrifice and determination. That it requires a heart of steel and a heart of a dove. It is neither for the faint hearted nor for the strong-willed. It is more of a lifetime test of balance between power and meekness, between greatness and humility, between madness and sanity.
"Great" leaders would also tell you that there are many times when as a leader, you are tempted to behave in a manner not soo rhyming "with the norm and status quo" due to how different people from different backgrounds and personalities react to situations, to other people and to assignments; but you choose to behave differently in order to preserve the dignity to the title and the authenticity of your call.
Leaders would also assure you that every situation and encounter with people calls for a different response. And that there is no kind of leadership that can be successful without adequate people skills. Mostly, there is no distinct "black and white" in leadership when dealing with people. Each situation and encounter with different kinds of people calls for a different action.
Every leader, depending with the crowd subject to your guidance, has different challenges. I always think the most challenging leadership is when you lead people who have all the freedom to say "no" but instead, choose to say "yes" to ideas and activities in your team.
*******
Yes, people behave badly all the time, but some behave well all the time too. People make us feel nasty. Others make us feel great. Sometimes people make you want to lead more; other times they make you want to quit.
Yes, people behave badly all the time, but some behave well all the time too. People make us feel nasty. Others make us feel great. Sometimes people make you want to lead more; other times they make you want to quit.
Now, with these different kinds of people leaders meet and lead, I'm picking out those who seem to always make us feel discouraged. This is what this blog is about: showing you the different types of toxic people in our midst - people we (as leaders) should either tolerate or avoid.
If you spot these kind of people as a leader, beware of their poisonous influence on your leadership.
Here are the ten types:
1. Insubordinate people
Have you ever had an event, wrote people messages, made phone calls and was happy everything was well catered for because everyone responded soo positively? Then all-of-a-sudden after you were smiling all night looking forward to a successful day ahead no one appeared? Or no one showed up until the whole event was over leaving you to take care of everything?
Have you ever had an event, wrote people messages, made phone calls and was happy everything was well catered for because everyone responded soo positively? Then all-of-a-sudden after you were smiling all night looking forward to a successful day ahead no one appeared? Or no one showed up until the whole event was over leaving you to take care of everything?
If you are a leader, this is the day you go in recess for 12 hours after the event. This is the day you disappear into yourself. This is the day you refuse to receive calls and reply to messages.
Such people who disappear without notice show insubordination, a lack of discipline and a full measure of arrogance. They show the most elevated sign of lack of accountability.
I always wonder: why is it so hard for people to be accountable and pass on their apologies in advance if they'll be absent for an event or to perform their duty? Or is it taking God and His work for granted?
Leaders should act with diligence when dealing with these people because they lack submission to authority and care less about commitment. They, in every way, don't care about the success of a team, project, service, program or event. They are complete letdowns.
I always wonder: why is it so hard for people to be accountable and pass on their apologies in advance if they'll be absent for an event or to perform their duty? Or is it taking God and His work for granted?
Leaders should act with diligence when dealing with these people because they lack submission to authority and care less about commitment. They, in every way, don't care about the success of a team, project, service, program or event. They are complete letdowns.
2. People who are hype with refined suggestions on how things should be run but are poor at helping accomplish tasks
These kind of people say a lot of good things and give the best ideas but are rarely present to put them to effect. They are sweet talkers who fear commitment. Their habits involve stirring up people with enthusiasm towards a specific course but come up with excuses once the day of action comes.
Simply put, they act with fear and would rather say good things concerning a project and how it should be run, but run away during its establishment.
Leaders should listen to these kind of people with one ear open and the other closed; and should not accept wholly their call to commitment. This will bring the leaders less disappointment.
These kind of people say a lot of good things and give the best ideas but are rarely present to put them to effect. They are sweet talkers who fear commitment. Their habits involve stirring up people with enthusiasm towards a specific course but come up with excuses once the day of action comes.
Simply put, they act with fear and would rather say good things concerning a project and how it should be run, but run away during its establishment.
Leaders should listen to these kind of people with one ear open and the other closed; and should not accept wholly their call to commitment. This will bring the leaders less disappointment.
3. People who think that change is an overnight thing
Change is complex. Sometimes it takes five minutes. Sometimes it takes a month. Other times it takes a whole decade. Or two. And sometimes, it never really happens at all. (There are also times when change is not even supposed to happen.)
People who demand instant change think the power to change other people, tasks and situations belongs to them or to leaders. I won't deny that power to bring about change is sometimes fully in leader's hands, but this isn't always.
People who sometimes quit being part of a team because "the team is not spiritual enough" or that "you are not visionary enough" are likely to bring about divisions and conflict in the team. They should either be taught otherwise or be prayed for. The world and circumstances are not driven by the power of men but by the grace and will of God. No matter how much we try to bring about change, if it is meant for another season and time, it is not going to happen right now.
Change is complex. Sometimes it takes five minutes. Sometimes it takes a month. Other times it takes a whole decade. Or two. And sometimes, it never really happens at all. (There are also times when change is not even supposed to happen.)
People who demand instant change think the power to change other people, tasks and situations belongs to them or to leaders. I won't deny that power to bring about change is sometimes fully in leader's hands, but this isn't always.
People who sometimes quit being part of a team because "the team is not spiritual enough" or that "you are not visionary enough" are likely to bring about divisions and conflict in the team. They should either be taught otherwise or be prayed for. The world and circumstances are not driven by the power of men but by the grace and will of God. No matter how much we try to bring about change, if it is meant for another season and time, it is not going to happen right now.
4. People who think leadership is as easy as it is put
Organising and managing different people from different walks of life as one flock is not easy. Everyone desires to see you meet their needs and expectations. The more in numbers they are, the harder it becomes. No wonder Moses' father-in-law suggested to him to get people to help him in service. Leading a crowd is tough. No wonder the apostle Paul instructs that deacons should be good managers of their families (a smaller crowd) before they are allowed to lead the church.
Things are not easy as they seem. Really. Leadership is like this. Some people think it is all about one thing (the thing they see and know) yet it may be about twenty other things.
Organising and managing different people from different walks of life as one flock is not easy. Everyone desires to see you meet their needs and expectations. The more in numbers they are, the harder it becomes. No wonder Moses' father-in-law suggested to him to get people to help him in service. Leading a crowd is tough. No wonder the apostle Paul instructs that deacons should be good managers of their families (a smaller crowd) before they are allowed to lead the church.
Things are not easy as they seem. Really. Leadership is like this. Some people think it is all about one thing (the thing they see and know) yet it may be about twenty other things.
Leadership is always about seeing the big picture: people who only see the "now" are harmful to the visionary leader because they seem to see simple, yet there is so much that makes for complex.
5. People who think leaders are gods
We all have our shortcomings. So many of them actually.
I have a list of sins and mistakes that run from here to Pakistan. You see? People overrate me. People overrate us. These people think we can't or should not make mistakes. Seriously, this is putting pressure on leaders and others suffer burn out while trying to play "Mr/Mrs Nice Guy/Lady" to all the people they lead.
People who push leaders to their limits while trying to be perfect are playing an unfair game of wits on their leaders which will lead to these leaders dropping down and failing completely. You can't play an actor/actress, god/goddess full time. You'll lose yourself sometime soon. Really.
We all have our shortcomings. So many of them actually.
I have a list of sins and mistakes that run from here to Pakistan. You see? People overrate me. People overrate us. These people think we can't or should not make mistakes. Seriously, this is putting pressure on leaders and others suffer burn out while trying to play "Mr/Mrs Nice Guy/Lady" to all the people they lead.
People who push leaders to their limits while trying to be perfect are playing an unfair game of wits on their leaders which will lead to these leaders dropping down and failing completely. You can't play an actor/actress, god/goddess full time. You'll lose yourself sometime soon. Really.
 |
| Leaders do show and give direction, but they are not gods. |
6. The always complaining and always opposing lot
These ones will never agree with anyone on the team. They always think their mission and suggestions and superior to others'. They demonize other people by making them feel inferior. They demoralize other members of the team that have good ideas and keep them from speaking out for fear of being pulled down in the long run.
If a leader doesn't deal with these demoralizers early enough, the only members of the team remaining will be him/her and that Einstein guy/lady.
If a leader doesn't deal with these demoralizers early enough, the only members of the team remaining will be him/her and that Einstein guy/lady.
7. People who look down upon leaders because of their social or cultural status in society
"He/she is short."
"He/she is not that educated."
"He/she isn't that grown up - he/she is still a child."
These are some of the comments that come from these people. They think leadership is about social, marital, economic or intellectual classes. They think that only the "old" people can lead.
These people will make good teams drop or chase away good leaders due to pettiness and end up electing quacks to cannot perform. That's what Israel did with King Saul, remember?
"He/she is short."
"He/she is not that educated."
"He/she isn't that grown up - he/she is still a child."
These are some of the comments that come from these people. They think leadership is about social, marital, economic or intellectual classes. They think that only the "old" people can lead.
These people will make good teams drop or chase away good leaders due to pettiness and end up electing quacks to cannot perform. That's what Israel did with King Saul, remember?
8. People who think they can lead better than the present leader when placed in that same leadership position
These ones always blow their own trumpets. It may be deliberately/directly or indirectly.
They aspire to make the whole team think, "If so and so was the leader, he/she wouldn't do that" or "If so and so was the leader and if he/she had the authority the leader has, he/she would have done such and such a thing differently."
If team members listen to them (and yeah, they always have a voice amongst all of you - probably louder than yours), they'll vote you out very soon. Sooner than Kenyan teachers can have their salary increment. ;-)
These ones always blow their own trumpets. It may be deliberately/directly or indirectly.
They aspire to make the whole team think, "If so and so was the leader, he/she wouldn't do that" or "If so and so was the leader and if he/she had the authority the leader has, he/she would have done such and such a thing differently."
If team members listen to them (and yeah, they always have a voice amongst all of you - probably louder than yours), they'll vote you out very soon. Sooner than Kenyan teachers can have their salary increment. ;-)
9. People who value their own opinions and others' opinions rather than what God has to say
There is this thing amongst millennials, this thing where we are always saying, I'll have my say, no matter what! Okay, I don't deny that everyone "should" have something to say, but thinking that what we have to say is superior to what God is saying about a specific team is ridiculous.
Just because a certain method or skill worked elsewhere, it doesn't mean we should now listen to the majority rather than to the voice of God.
Every leadership, every team and every situation has a unique place in God's plan for us. Those people who try to override this plan by thinking like men and without putting God in the picture will lead a team into a deep bottomless pit.
There is this thing amongst millennials, this thing where we are always saying, I'll have my say, no matter what! Okay, I don't deny that everyone "should" have something to say, but thinking that what we have to say is superior to what God is saying about a specific team is ridiculous.
Just because a certain method or skill worked elsewhere, it doesn't mean we should now listen to the majority rather than to the voice of God.
Every leadership, every team and every situation has a unique place in God's plan for us. Those people who try to override this plan by thinking like men and without putting God in the picture will lead a team into a deep bottomless pit.
10. People who make promises but never keep them
"I'll give 10k!"
"Oh, I'll be around to clean up and cook"
"I'll give 10k!"
"Oh, I'll be around to clean up and cook"
"Morris, I'll preach/sing/take care of the visitors on that day!"
This crowd of toxic people are almost like the first group, but the difference is that they may show up but "forget" they promised to do some specific thing. They'll blame the leader for not reminding them.
"You should have reminded me!", they say. "I would have come on time / I would have given out the cash." "You should have reminded me! I was just at home!"
Oh, really? You were just at home? You forgot, huh? Just forgot? God help you.
This crowd of toxic people are almost like the first group, but the difference is that they may show up but "forget" they promised to do some specific thing. They'll blame the leader for not reminding them.
"You should have reminded me!", they say. "I would have come on time / I would have given out the cash." "You should have reminded me! I was just at home!"
Oh, really? You were just at home? You forgot, huh? Just forgot? God help you.
As leaders, and with all these people challenges facing us, we should remember that our calling to the work given us (whether in a corporate or spiritual sense) is greater; and that the grace we need to deal with all this kinds of people is sufficient.
Because it is written;
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
Because it is written;
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
and
Hebrews 13:5 (NIV) "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
So, take heart and stay blessed.
Bonface Morris.
