Date Night (Part 1)

She is worried.
She is peeping through her window via the curtain opening, gazing at the nearby hedge that makes part of estate fence, and breathes out restlessly.
It is Saturday. Saturday morning. And this evening is her date night. Her second date.
She is worried that it is the D-day and she still is not feeling prepared enough for this...

She now pulls the curtain aside from the window and moves across the room to get her phone that is laid on a stool by her bedside.
She slightly bends down, chuckles a little, swings part of her night dress to her left...
She checks her phone. Her battery is low. 20% charge.
There has been no electricity from around two in the afternoon of yesterday.
She looks at the time on the phone. It is 10.00am. She has woken up late. For the first time since she moved to this place, she is up late.

She types her passcode into the phone (a Huawei model of Android OS) - to bypass the security lock on her messaging app - scrolls through her most recent texts, breathes heavily and feels tinted.
He sent her a text last night reminding her of today - their second date.
And now she is scared - not of love, but of the reality of love, of dates and of falling for him.
She is scared that she likes him a lot more than she has ever liked any guy; that she always replies to his texts; that the very thought of him torments her in a beautiful way...
She pulls herself up and sits on her bed. Still not spread.
It is now 10.30am.
Saturday.

The sun is now shining directly across the room. Its rays are piercing through the glass revealing a beautiful and already cheered morning.
There are no birds outside. Her hood has no birds. It is a very still morning.
It is a still morning except for her lady neighbors next door that always wake up early to chat on Saturdays.
She feels disgusted. It is Saturday. Saturday. Yes, Saturday!! Why the heck should someone wake up that early on a Saturday morning just to blabber!!?

She wastefully glares at the iron sheets that are the roof over her room.
There is a hole up there. There at the corner. She sees it. Does it leak when it rains?
She stands up and moves to the place directly below the hole. Oh well, it doesn't. It doesn't leak. She proves this because it had been raining for a while and there should be some water, or, er, moisture around the place, right?

............

He spent most of his yesterday, Friday, daydreaming of today: the venue, the services, the way he's to behave on his second date so that the airs around his gentleman tag may not be spoilt.
In fact, if he'd cared too much, he'd still be mumbling over the date details in his mind.
But something came up this morning - something that requires him to be occupied for at least a good part of the day.
Anyway, it is a money deal and there is no way he's gonna be spending money without refueling his pocket.
He needs this money.
He needs it.
So at ten-ish, he gets his ride and goes to see his "deals buddy".
They get swallowed up in "deals stuff", realize that it is already 2pm, move on to their best lunch spot - the one they "discovered" the other day, order chicken and ugali and disappear into talk until 4pm.
4pm.

He is then reminded that there is a football game to be watched. Same time, a different place.
4pm.
He feels safe. He decides to go watch the first half of the game.
So they move: him and his "deals buddy".
The game is tight. The first half vanishes without a goal. Useless football.
Utterly useless football.

All this time, from 10.00am when he rode to meet his buddy up until 5.00pm when the first half of the most beautiful game in the world is done, he has not checked his phone.
Oh well, he received a few phone calls... but that was it.
Then it hits him: it is his date night!!
His second date night.
"Second dates are critical..." he remembers these words from his deals guy, "very important... they either kill or establish the foundation of a probable relationship..." he had continued.
5.15pm it is. The date is in 45 minutes time, 5 kilometers away...

His deals guy has gotta do something before his whole realtionships house comes tumbling down.
So he calls him from the football blowies...
"Hey man! Hebu come kiasi..."
(Clicks) "Dude, imagine it is now one-nil..." goes the deals guy, "...in favor of the other team..."
"Oh, like seriously, this is not the time for scores... kuna vitu za muhimu saa hii bana!"
"Okay man, I'm in big trouble. I'm in big big trouble... You remember the date thingy I mentioned to you about jana? It is happening in 40 minutes..."

Silence.

(The other guys in the football den are now shouting loud... it should be another score... two-nil or one-one, woreva...)

"Okay dude, calm down. Caaalm down. Take a deep breathe. Good. Do you have the venue paid for and arranged? And you have that crash cologne of ours with you, right? Get it. Okay, Imma take care of this... forget about the beautiful game, my boy is gotta make his probable girl proud..."
The deals guy calls for a taxi. (There ain't no taking chances leaving his boy driving under stress.) He instructs the taxi guy to work in 20 minutes sharp and achieve a double pay.
The work is done.
Sigh! Thank the good Lord for "deal guys"...

..................

30 minutes later, the guy is waiting...
10 minutes before time.
He is adjusting the cuffs on his shirt.
He is making tiny empty prayers.
He is breathing into his palms to taste the smell of his breathe.

He is taking gum from his pocket and is now hesitantly chewing it.
He is moving his head to the side and looking over his shoes, the back of his pair of trousers and clearing his throat.
"Lucky me...!" he thinks.

..................

On the other side, she managed to prepare lunch at 12pm, ate and started to think on whatever she was gonna dress in today.

It's gotta tantalizing. What? Yeah, tantalizing.
The blue dress? Nah, blue is too elegant...
The tiny black one maybe? No, that one is too revealing...
A formal blouse over a formal skirt? Muh! A maxi dress, maybe? A crop top? A... okay... ooookaaaay...
She had called her fashion-advise-fashion-sense girl...
"Hi Jay!? I mean, what does one wear to a date, er, eeehh, to a second date?"(Phone battery alert pings.)

Jane: "Si please lemme come over so we make you over... you need-a be a queen yo...!!"
Jane had come and done her thing... for 3 good hours!! 3. Good. Hours.
Dang.

So she was ready by 4.30 and was dressed in, er, well, her fashion-advise-fashion-sense girl knows her stuff... 

She reaches the date venue 5 minutes before time. 

"A perfect sense of punctuality...!!" she mumbles.
She steps out to see if her date has already come...
The place is beautiful. Really beautiful. 
In fact, the color code of the restaurant compliments whatever she is wearing...

As he waits for her after throwing away the gum and calling for a drink, 5 or so minutes later, there she stands.

"Oh well, she really is an amazing and beautiful creature of God" his mind quips, "Phew!!"
He stands up.
He smiles.
He compliments her looks and thanks her for coming...
He hugs her.
He pulls her chair.
She puts her bag on a bag holder by the side of the table, near the pole.
She swings her head to pull back her hair (as they always do...)
He asks her what she may take as a drink for a start...
As the waiter goes out to bring her her drink, the conversation begins...

TO BE CONTINUED...


Bonface Morris.

Singers Vs Worship Leaders

“Morris, please teach us microphone techniques…”
“I cannot sing in that key, it is too high for me…” 

“I am not able to sing as backup while he/she is leading worship… their key is too high, er, guys, can you please tweak that key a little… just a little?” 

“This is how I am used to singing, if you don’t like it that is your own problem. I just can’t sing in the manner you are recommending… I just cannot…”

“That keyboard player/instrumentalist/drummer/guitarist ain’t playing what I want the way I want it… they ain’t bringing out that hook as it should… they are making it too hard for me to sing…”

If you are a leader in a worship team, the above concerns from team members are as common as it can get. You probably have heard it from your team members hundreds of times (depending with how long you have been in charge of singing in that given congregation.) It is also likely that whenever these team members bring up these issues, they actually are not so much interested in making corrections or improving in the art of worship and singing, and in the area of their complaints.

Today, in a short but very direct way, I want to help us differentiate between so-called singers and lead worshipers with reference to a worship team and a church congregation of any size.

First things first though…

I describe singers as anyone who can sing. They sing in the bathroom, while doing laundry, while cooking, while out with friends partying… they just can sing. They may sing with or without order and may or may not be committed members of a worship team. That is what they are.

On the other hand, worship leaders (and not necessarily worship team leaders)are members of a singing community or team that are able to lead and teach others how to sing, and can interact with a crowd (or congregation) and make them (through conviction, gentle persuasion or whatever way) on how to sing whatever they want them to sing – how to sing anything. One unique thing about them (worship leaders) is that they command the stage and everyone falls in tune with whatever they are directing or guiding them to do.

Inasmuch as there are these differences, it is good to note that there is a close resemblance between the two (singers and worship leaders) because they both sing and are both involved (in one way or another) in standing before an audience while singing.

Notable quote: Everyone can sing, but not everyone can lead others in singing. (Especially a congregation full of diversified people from different classes – okay, classes shouldn’t be in Church, or should they? – and cultures.) Everyone knows a song or two, but not everyone can teach that song to everyone else so that they may come out knowing it as much as they should.

So you may be asking yourself, “Morris, why in the whole good world of music are you talking to us about such obvious things…?” Obvious things, huh?

Well, note the following…

The definition of music and worship in the Church has changed a lot over the years. Since the times of The First/Early Church, corporate/congregational worship has changed exponentially. You will agree with me that our differences in denominational upbringing have not only influenced our doctrinal inclination within the Christian community, but that it has also affected the manner in which we worship God. The way we structure our services (on whatever day we have chosen to worship God), the tools and instruments we use, the manner in which we display acts or worship, the stance of our worship leaders, the kind of songs each congregation sings, the way we include others in our singing/worship, the way we incorporate Scripture in our singing/worship services etc… have influenced and redefined the general aura of congregational worship in every church across the world.

Of course, the centre of argument within most worship leaders and pastors in the Christian fraternity around the world will be that we are all seeking to worship God in Spirit and in Truth (John 4:24), but notably, the truth is that while seeking to worship the Creator in spirit and in truth, we have formed for our own selves differing views on corporate worship and the fruits thereof. This in itself has changed how (or has helped redefine how) members of a given worship team interact with each other and afterwards, with the congregation. This also defines how well they will rehearse and practice before presenting the aftermath of this to the congregation.

For instance, a worship team that cares less about the quality and influence of the music they produce before God and the congregation will have more singers than worship leaders. It will have a greater number of its team concentrating on performance than on a relationship and intimacy with the God that is being worshipped. This team will practice less, mind less about knowing their strong and weak points while working as a team and will neither pray for a better presentation and the movement of the Spirit of God nor about the people being ministered to during the worship service.

You probably have also heard of the emergence of the so-called commercial worship leaders/singers or worship-rock-stars found within many “mega churches”. They have a tendency to not submit to authority and they lack spiritual fervency while “ministering” in those “mega churches” or the spontaneous crowds they are given to “worship” with. They move from place to place “ministering” and “preaching” to these oblivious crowds/congregations and have little or no commitment at all to wanting the impartation of something new and something from God, within the people they “minister” to. This also has contributed to the increase in the number of singers in our worship teams as compared to the number of those who can actually lead worship.

In the preview I read of a book by Stephen Miller called Worship Leaders, We Are Not RockStars, he reiterates that the manner in which a worship leader chooses to worship God even at an individual level, is very determinant of how well they are going to interact with their fellow team members and the congregation that awaits their ministry. He also adds that as a member of a worship team, the central thing should not be to compete on who strums the guitar best, who plays the piano best, who sings best or who knows best but on how much as a team, you are positively moving your church/congregation towards worshiping God in spirit and in truth.

The table below summarizes what I am talking about (Singers vs Worship Leaders);

No.	Singers	Worship leaders/Lead worshipers
1	They can only sing and have fun. They care less about the influence their singing has on the audience.	They can sing and lead others in worship as well. They enjoy the singing yeah, but are also keen on making the congregation meet with their Creator.
2	They claim to have difficulty in singing in set-up groups with other singers within the worship team. They are oblivious of the team’s strengths and weaknesses.	They can sing, lead and back-up. They interact well with team members and can point out strengths and weaknesses within the team.
3	They have no understanding of their vocal or voice range.	They understand the whole concept of where their voice or vocal range is and can alter it at any time.
4	Have a high affinity to blaming others when things go wrong and would rather teach than be taught.	Are reluctant to lead and think themselves as imperfect and still need to do a few things with their skills before they are ready to lead.
5	They concentrate on performance rather than on intimacy and a relationship with the One being worshipped.	They concentrate more on a relationship and intimacy with the One being worshipped rather than on performance.
6	They are more of people-pleasers than they are God-pleasers. They therefore seek excitement and “a feeling” first before the manifestation of the power of the Holy Spirit through their singing.	They are more of God-pleasers than they are people-pleasers. They therefore seek the manifestation of the power of the Holy Spirit through their singing before excitement and a sense of “feeling”.

As a warning to most of us who care less about worship as a ministry that plays an important role in the spiritual growth of a church, and one which cuts across all the major offices of the church, Christ Jesus our LORD said the following in Matthew 15:13 (NKJV) “But He answered and said, ‘Every plant which my Heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. Let them alone. They are blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind leads the blind, both will fall into a ditch…’”

Till next time,

Bonface Morris.

A Clash of Types

She has prayed for so long for a boyfriend. She has waited, created mind pictures of him, fantasized... and longed for so long for that day to come... In fact, she can clearly remember – even deep in her sleep - the last time she had a boyfriend: she has never had any.

She was almost giving up... giving up on love and these #RelationshipTingz, until she met him: tall but not so tall, toned down with every muscle in the right place. She turned her head, looked over and saw him. She looked again. She never looks twice. But this day, she did…

His name is Adrian. She knows where he stays. She knows all his friends. Yeah, she can even tell just how sad or happy he was on July 16, 2011 – hah - and how he was dressed. She can also tell just how much he talked on that day. What? July 16, 2011? What's so special about July 16, 2011 anyway? Actually, nothing specific. It was just another day. A day just like any other day. But to her, it was special. It was the day she laid her eyes on him... Since then, she has never looked back. 

I’ll tell you the story she told me, yes, my friend does tell stories…

She had gone to pick up a movie or two from her movie guy across the street, after which she had planned to pass through the mall and get back home after an hour or so. 
It was 2pm, Saturday, 16^th July, 2011. A hot afternoon, but as it is natural and common on this side of the world at such a time of the year, it was indicative of prevailing showers of rain in the evening – a deceptive camouflage of nature, so to say.

She was prepared to run through town really first before heading back home then to church. So she moved by the road, up the streets, via the Mama mboga, past the barber shop, through the back street, across the petrol station, again through the street… absent-mindedly waving her thoughts to-and-fro as it is typical of most her Saturdays…

But just before she crossed over to the mall, he happened. He did happen. 16^th July, 2011. Saturday. He happened.

She almost fell down. The dude was exactly angelic. Exactly. His countenance, his demeanor, his smile, his dressing code, the way he moved his hand and fingers, the way he stared and glanced, the excitement in his eyes… oh my, she was smitten!! He was with one of her friends. Just a common friendship so to say... She wanted to greet her friend and by excuse say hi! to him. She wanted to, but never found enough strength to do so. She actually never did say hi!

Since that day – Saturday, July 16, 2011 - she has always anticipated their next meeting. She dresses her best, does her hair, trims and does her nails, borrows her friend's shoes and phone... because she wants to smite him this time. But the moment he is in the room, he never seems to notice her. It is like she doesn't exist. To him, she does not.

Her name is Annabelle. Annabelle never seems to exist in the eyes of Adrian.

*********************************

He (Adrian), on the other hand, is a hundred miles hushed and travelling in his own tough relationship world. He has this girl he met way back in 2012 – December 2012 to be precise - that he just has never gotten over. Oh well, they say guys don’t bend easily. They do say so. It may be true, or it may not be. But deep within him, he knows that it is impossible that she did not melt a big chunk of his heart. Every time he sees her, it seems like he gets lost. Somehow.

Here is his story;

It was in December, 2012. He had gone to visit his brother who lives in the East and therefore he was extremely excited about a change of environment and stuff. So here he was, stolen by the proximity of a new environment and the endless possibility of adventure. On that day – he says – he was dressed in print shorts with a casual short-sleeved white shirt and his feet, he was wearing branded African leather open shoes. He was on a mountain bike heading, er, nowhere actually. He was just on his routine spontaneous rides. He had just turned the second corner, stopped and was now resting for a while with his left feet on the pedal and the right one on the ground, before thinking of cycling on to the other side of the road. As he looked up from where he was, while wiping the sweat off his face, he spotted her. His heart stopped, er, it skipped (his words, not mine…). He was blanked.

Her name is Trizah. She was amazing. Fragile. Heavenly. Beautiful. Breathtaking. She was like no woman he had ever seen. He felt so drawn to her. But how was he going to make it in (at least) making her his friend in this short period of time he was at his brother’s? 2 weeks. “Arrrgghh! 2 weeks!?” He thought deep within himself how much good agony she had brought to his heart. So he said hi!

She did reply. But shyly and in a manner full of lack of interest – like he was a nuisance to her existence or something like that. He ignored this as lack of familiarity and he thoughtfully went on his way.

Back at home, while on his bed meditating on the activities of the day, that is when he realized that a spell had been cast, and that he was now caught in a love net he was not willing to draw himself out from – he was attracted to a girl he knew not.

The following two weeks marked a period of his despair - a period when he made all the efforts in his social books to get to make her his friend but he realized that she can never be into him in the same way he is into her… His name is Adrian.

**********************************

Days have gone by and now here are Adrian and Annabelle. Anabelle daily wishes and prays so hard (to her Lord) that Adrian will notice her, while Adrian still struggles with the denial he met in the East from that lady called Trizah.

Annabelle wonders: “But why? I guess I am more beautiful than that chiq he's obsessed with, right? I guess I am more endowed in all things than she is… I am saved like he is. I serve the Lord, bla bla bla…" Of late, Annabelle has put in more effort in drawing closer to him: she has learnt his hobbies so that she can do the stuff he does and let him notice her, she has befriended his friends and known most of them in a greater way, she has called herself something else on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and befriended him, she has stalked him endlessly, she has his WhatsApp… she has already put to work all the written things in the book of How To Get Him Interested but Adrian just never seems to notice her…

Oh well, one day he did – but all that moment earned her was a smile and a disguised date that never happened… He leaves her devastated.

Adrian wonders too: “Am I not tall enough for her? Ladies love tall guys, right? (His words, not mine) Is it my personality she doesn’t like? Am I too childish? Does my face betray my maturity? Am I not good enough for her? Do I joke or talk too much? Maybe it is my voice, right? And so forth and so on...” These questions surge endlessly through his mind. They stir him to wondering why he is being denied a simple relationship with a girl who overturned his world. He thinks that he can never fall for another lady the way he did with this one…

Yeah it was attraction at first sight, but after stalking her for a while (yeah, he does stalk her from time to time as escalated by his visits to his brother’s place which have become as monotonous as the rising and setting of the sun… and in these escapades, he manages to know a few things about her; that her name is Trizah, and that she is cooooooool like that – just what he wanted in a lady… he even has her WhatsApp (oh my!) but it now seems that her chatting tendencies are like drops of rain in the Sahara…) and talking her over, he has decided that fate (yes, he thinks that it is fate) has denied him his place in her heart.

***********************************

And this cycle between Annabelle, Adrian and Trizah continues. It goes on forever. It goes on forever because Adrian says that Annabelle is not his type and that there is no way he can ever fall in love with her; although he appreciates that she is a good lady who deserves another man – just not him! Annabelle on the other side thinks he is the perfect guy dropped down from the Heaven of God just for her but one who keeps treating gold as trash... Again, Trizah does not think Adrian is her type. She thinks he deserves better (yeah, that is what she always tells him on the few occasions she manages to reply to his messages) which is something Adrian is always perplexed at because according to him, she is his best!!

I chose to call this cycle a clash of types. It is where love, affection, interests and so on are not reciprocated in the way the giver was expecting or deserves. It is where one person suffers that blunt of not being loved back or being cared for the way they deserve. It is where people struggle to love and care for the other who loves them too much. It is where people lie about so many things in order to make the other feel good about themselves and the relationships yet all they are telling are lies (God forbid). It is where she is interested, while he is not; because he is into another who is not. It is called a clash of types.

Can we ever solve a clash of types to make impossible relationships work? Maybe. Maybe not. I propose the following (which I will expound on later in another blog titled “So You Want Him/Her to Be Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend…?”) as ways on trying to solve a clash of types;

1. Get over it and move on
2. Play your cool, you still have a chance
3. Study their game and become their type – the art of the love language and love through suggestion
4. Have a life – stop being predictable and boring
5. Get your type to whom you are their type.

See you next time.

Bonface Morris.

Grow Your Niche: Discovering Your Abilities, Talents and Gifts Pt. 2

Continued from Part 1…

The last thing I addressed on talents and gifts last week was growth, and I insisted that we can never undermine the role growth plays on talent: “unless a talent is grown, it will soon fade away.”

Today, we continue with the third part of the four main points I was discussing which will help us grow our niche through identifying our abilities, talents and gifts;

3.     Our Passion

Quote: Passion is an aggressive approach towards talents/gifts.

I met a certain young person sometime back with an interest in building and creating mobile apps and a probable OS (yeah, that was his dream, and yes, it is right here in Kakamega – note: we’re awesome like that. Hah.) But the problem was that the boy is forever complaining about capital. Capital? Yes, capital. So I was like, “Capital my foot!!”

After hearing him rant about lack of capital, I decided to grill him. I asked him how many developers he knew that make apps that are similar to what he was going to make. Nada, he didn’t know any. Then I asked him what he wanted to call his app. No, he had no idea about that either. (Okay, he wanted to call it a name that was already existing but he knew nothing about it…) I asked him if he knew coding. No, he didn’t. Then I asked him a final grilly one: “So what do you want to make and how do you want to make it if you don’t even know it and you have no idea of your competitors?”

We reached a conclusion that he lacked passion. He lacked a deep interest in what he wanted or as aspiring to do.

We see it a lot: “I wanna be this, I wanna be that… I wanna build this, I wanna build that… bla bla bla, but these kids (anyway, even old people do this) don’t even know what they are saying.

You see, if you claim that your abilities and interest(s) are in science and that science is your stuff; or that music is your thing and you are a musician, you need to know that s*** really well. Yes, you need to know it like you always know you are hungry. Do you consult anyone – say, a doctor - to know you are hungry? No. Alright, do you consult your dad or mom to know that you need to visit the washrooms? No? Yeah, then you need to know what you are doing or what you are engaging in reaaaaaalllly well.

Let us be realistic. Without passion in your area of specialization, you are doing useless work and you are neither building your niche nor creating a brand, yet that is all this is about.

Passion is when YOU KNOW what you are doing (when you know your abilities, talents or gifts) and you are now developing them with enthusiasm (a.k.a. zeal) and enjoyment. It is when once woken up in the middle of the night and you are asked a question concerning your talent/gift, you’ll reply without hesitation or blinking, right in your sleep, and give a fascinating answer! Passion is when you stand out in the crowd because you know a little more than everyone else and your perfection in doing whatever you do is higher than everyone else. Passion resists the urge to only start a business when there is “enough” capital (like my friend above). It denies you the pleasure of being normal.

I will give you a few examples: a singer who can’t freestyle is yet to be passionate. (It’s like joining that Jaza Mistari show on @KTNKenya yet you don’t even know the lyrics of a single song… *sigh!*). A poet or a writer who needs hours in order to create a post is yet to develop passion in/for what they are doing. A dancer who needs to practice forever in order to give forth something of worth is still underdeveloped in their passion. It is passion that differentiates a good scientist/artist form a great scientist/artist. It is passion that makes your schoolmate get employed before you do, because they are awesome at what they do. Passion is a mark of awesomeness. Yeah, you need to get me really good: passion is a mark of awesomeness!!

a) Master your talent/gift

Quote: If you are able to master and enjoy every fine detail of whatever you do, then you can nurture it, grow it and create a brand out of it.

In an article Strive Masiyiwa wrote last week titled “Be Consummate About What You Do!”, there is one point he reiterates: to become consummate in area of specialization, you need to master and enjoy doing whatever you do. Here is the whole article;

“Last week, I attended an international conference, where I was a keynote speaker on the subject of Mobile Money Transfer services. The audience, wanted to know how our company had built one of the most successful services of its kind known as, Ecocash. One of the first things I did was to show them a slide, showing, 'key performance indicators', based on a comparison with similar services, in other parts of the world, such as Kenya's M-PESA (the best such service in the world). This is 'benchmarking': how you are doing against the best, in your game.

I told them, that we did not 'invent' Mobile Money Transfer service, but we studied carefully what others had done all over the world. Our teams, went on field visits, to countries, like Kenya, and the Philippines. Our people also did 'focus group' studies with customers, to try and evaluate their needs. Then we ran a pilot service, for many months, which we used to evaluate customer responses, and redesign the product.

When you are in a business, you must join associations, (both local and international), so that you can exchange ideas, with people from the same industry, including your competitors. This is how you 'benchmark'. Before you dash off to implement something, try and find out what others have done, or not done... This is really how you should be using tools like the Internet.

Do you want to raise chicken? That's good, but now go out, and become a member of that industry... go down deep. Yes, learn about the industry... make yourself, a 'chicken guru', eat, sleep and talk chicken! If someone asks you about chicken, talk about the Chinese and American industry, tell them who is the biggest player in Nigeria...what type of chicken are preferred in Brazil... It’s your game!

My game is telecoms: the other day someone asked me, over dinner about the history of 'prepaid service', I gave them a lecture, tracing its history, all the way to the first lab tests, in Israel! When I open a newspaper or a magazine, I flip through looking for articles, first on telecoms.

Anything related to communications... I just devour it! It’s my game! So you think, there is nothing about pigs, or rabbits? When you finish reading this, do a search on the internet about the global 'pig industry', or the 'rabbit industry'...

Even if you are working in an organization, as a professional, it is important to remain current, about the job you do, and also about the industry you are in. Be proud of what you do. There is no better way of doing this than subscribing for professional and industry publications. What you are reading locates, you... it’s your game! What are you reading?”

That's why the likes of Paul carried and read books wherever he went: for the sake of mastering what they did! I need not say more about this.

b) Persistently aspire to change your world  

Quote: passion is about creating opportunities for yourself and making others want to copy you.

If we have a strong urge and desire to positively change our world, we need to aspire to learn, on a daily basis, something new about our talents and how to use them to make things easier and better. We need to learn how to create opportunities for ourselves and to better other people’s lives.

Passion is not about rising to fame overnight. No. It is not about creating a name for ourselves out of our “awesomeness”. No. Passion is about building a system THAT WORKS. A system that has been proven to work. A system that changes how things work by simplifying them. Through growth and practice, passion proves that a certain method can be optimized until a formula, protocol or method is achieved. This is how mathematicians came to making and proving mathematical formulas. This is how researchers come up with new technologies. It is passion that concluded that the piano can only be played in a number of ways within a certain number and bracket of keys. All these inventors sought to change their worlds and they therefore passionately found a way to make things easier for whoever will live after them. They never stopped until results were achieved. (You’ll understand this better if you’ve read The Art of War by Giles Lionel Sunzi.)

They worked and used their abilities and talents with the future in mind. They did it progressively without being selfish about the outcome. They saw the end-product in the whole process rather than the means and the fame. They were resilient and focused.

That is what we need to do if we can ever change our present world though the use of our abilities, talents and gifts.

One example I use is that I always tell people that I may not be that into technology but I’ll always dream of a day when my dad can search for specific words in his paper Bible without using sophisticated means, without needing a gadget and without need for the internet. I dream of my grandmother being able to read without actually knowing how to read. (Yeah, stop and think about it. It may be crazy, but it is possible.) In my scientific world, I always think of a day when cancer can be simply cured through the introduction of tumor-killing artificial microbes which can actually eat away any type of tumor… I think of things unimaginable in my world, but I think about them anyway. Dreaming is great. Dreams are ideas in a sleep-stage and it never actually means that they won’t wake up - because they surely will! Dreams always wake up and become a reality when we work on them passionately…

4.     Our profession and career

There are those amongst us who are blessed in a way that their abilities, talents, gifts and passion marry their profession. A few of us have split these into two parts of our existence, while others don’t even know what they’re doing. Well, it may be okay, but let’s address a few things here…

I am always against the notion that being great at school translates to being great in life or being great at your career. Well, prove me wrong by taking statistics of people who made it in life only because they had a First Class Honors in university; prove it to me that a whole 100% of such people have made it in life. Yes, please do it. Getting a First Class Honors is good, but unless one has something to add onto it, it is futile and useless. And if it is the only thing that drives our lives, what becomes of us after school and we are not immediately employed? Huh?

Oh well…

Some people study something else and become something else in life. Others don’t even study at all, yet they end up employing all those creepy bookwarms… Hah… The endpoint should be, after school, are you able to enjoy what you are doing? Do you feel excited when at work doing what you do to earn whatever you earn? Is your profession giving you a stir of passion and satisfaction when you are at it? If not, think twice about it.

A good percentage of people who go for a second or third degree are those who are trying “to diversify” their career or profession. The interesting thing about hearing the word “diversity” when dealing with career is that I always translate it and make it synonymous with the word “randomness”. This means that it always rings in my ears that these people may not even be sure of what profession they are made for. To curb this (the lack of knowledge on what you are made for career-wise), I recommend one to genuinely answer the following questions:

• Do you enjoy it?
• Can you do it for the rest of your life?
• Do you feel excited to report to work (especially) on Monday morning?
• Do you work for the money or for the love of the work itself?
• Would you work under minimum supervision and achieve the same results as when you are working under supervision?
• Do you aspire to grow in your area of work?

If above 70% of your answers for the questions above were “no”, you are in the wrong place. You may need to make your decisions really fast and change what you are doing before it is too late.

When it comes to choosing career, some people may choose it with reference to their abilities, talents and gifts, while others may not. It really doesn’t matter so long as you can pass the above test (the questions I posed above) by scoring above 70%.

As I finish up, the few things you need to know about career and growing/building your niche are listed below;

a)    They say that any skill can be learned in 21 days flat. This is good news to anyone who desires to learn any new skill. Grasp the opportunity and learn it. Stop wishing you had known something you can learn in 3 weeks!!

b)    God does not bless lazy people. Only lazy people use those useless "confess and possess" quotes because they think God is a robber: robbing people's blessings to hand them over to them. Haven’t you ever read in Exodus 23:29 where He says, "I will not drive them out from before you in one year, lest the land become desolate… little by little I will drive them out before you until you have increased and possess the land…”? Do you think God was talking to a lazy people? No? Okay, so work hard to get what is rightfully yours in Him!

c)     To some people, once school is over, their lives are done. But those guys who use at least 30% of their time in improving their social skills and talents have less hard time adapting to the new environment after school. Think about it. Apply it.

d)    Eventually, you’ll realize that a man's fulfillment is not in the accumulation of wealth, things or education but in servant-hood. It will do you more good to improve your social skills and talents than to know more mathematical formulas that are useless in real life. People will save you after failure, but that education you are seeking so brutally won’t give a damn when you are suffering out here. So care more about people, then go on and cram/learn your formulas. It is called balancing your life.

e)     If you sit down waiting for employment, it is likely that you're gonna wait forever, but if you keep yourself busy by utilizing your talents and abilities well, opportunities and favor can arise from any side and overtake you.

f)     In anything you do, seek to stand out and create a brand out of yourself.

g)    Believe in possibilities. Believe in God. Believe in the power of God to make you into anything great. Believe that you can become anything you put your eyes on. Then drive all you have towards achieving it. After all has been said and done, tell a testimony of how you became what you are through God’s faithfulness.

Till next time,

God bless.

Bonface Morris.

Grow Your Niche: Discovering Your Abilities, Talents and Gifts Part 1

Side note: It may be a good idea to start by reading this blog post I did 2 years ago.

A year or so ago, I had a conversation with a certain teenager who had just finished High School. He wanted to know how to become busy and stop being “bored” at home. (And about getting bored, I always wonder how someone can really get bored…).

Okay, I looked at him and asked him, “How much do you really wanna get out of your rut…?” “So much… it is screaming right inside my head and all over me!” he answered. So I told him, “I don’t think so. I am not seeing it in you. I think you just want a quick way to get money and acquire a platform upon which you will boast to your friends that you ‘ain’t the idle type’.”

He took offense. I liked it. I like it when people take offense because I am telling them the truth. Yes, he took offense because I was telling him the truth. Of course, he really really really wanted to get something to do - to keep him busy - but truly speaking, he only wanted to get money and get over it – in the simplest way possible.

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A few years ago after leaving High School and because my parents were not able to immediately take me to College, all I could actually do was to sit around and become idle. I bored my mom. I really did. I bored her because I was not useful. So she called my dad and told him about it. (This was mid-June after my KCSE – which I did about a decade ago, yeah I am that old… J)

They agreed that I should get to where my dad was and probably get to do something meaningful with my life. (Meaningful was the key word, and I won’t mention towns because that is none of your business... Hah.)

Well, when I got to live with my dad, he taught me a few things: that I had to learn to do stuff on my own and become independent. As the only son, you can only imagine what went through my mind. Learn to do stuff on my own and stand as a man? Oh no!! No way!! But in present-time Kenya, what do you expect if your dad is not the CEO of some company or when he is not “well connected”? You have to stand your ground and gain substance, or sit down and die poor. He always reminded me (my dad) that he won’t always be around and I should (as his only son) take charge and become a man my sisters and mom can lean on when he becomes old…

Anyway – so you are asking - why am I telling you all these useless stories?

Because of the following:

As much as I was able to do some menial work, earn a little income each week and become financially independent, I kept myself busy during my free time. I will share with you how I spent my free time in the next few lines… I began by writing music. This is something almost everyone does after High School so it should not be a big deal to you. Yes? Writing music was easy: figure out a few words, rhyme them, and I was good to go! (From then to now, I have ended up writing so many unreleased songs that I can’t even recall which one was my first song - I’ll expound on this story after I have become a recording artist one of these fine days.) The second thing I was doing during my free time was reading and falling in love with quotes (remember that I was only 18.) This moved me to the next level: writing tailored quotes. (I have two books full of personal quotes as evidence.) Quotes expanded my knowledge of phrases and words, so I decided to start writing my first book at age 20. (This also is none of your business, haha, so priss don’t ask me about it...) The internet was gaining popularity then so I used it often. Writing (yeah what you see here and what I post on several occasions is just the tip of the iceberg) loaded my room with a lot of stuff. I then decided to start making some research on people and personalities – because by then, I had been given a minor leadership position at my church. I wanted to understand people, so I read a lot about people – on the internet of course, because I am not fond of paper or hard cover books. Alongside writing quotes, a book and various songs, I also started writing poems and doing art and calligraphy (my pastor can witness that I brought him a lot of my artwork at this stage.) I was now 21 years old and still untrained (formally). But was I useful? Yes. 2 years earlier, at the age 19, I had joined the Praise and Worship Team at my church because I just refused to sit around and do nothing. I decided to also join my church’s intercession team which was mainly composed of women. Yes. Women. Lots of women. Dang. A tiny boy amongst a legion of women. Dang… again! We met on Wednesdays for fasting and on Saturdays for general prayer. 1 year later, I was teaching myself how to play the keyboard/piano.  I took (and still take) very serious that Bible verse that says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…” Philippians 4:13 and it has worked for me.

And I have now been improving on the things above and adding more for the past few years: I have learned teaching, public speaking, preaching, ranting (lol), bla bla bla, and have grown in my walk with the Lord.

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I am sharing my tiny – and almost useless example above - to give this blog post a practical background and meaning: that as far as I am concerned, whatever I am going to tell you about capturing and knowing your niche, abilities, gifts and talents, I am a devoted doer of it all. I drink that water yo!

Now, there are a few things you need to know and be able to understand well in order to capture and grow your niche (a niche is a position particularly well suited to the person who occupies it). These things, as listed below, are the very things I’ll address in depth in the two parts that are this blog post;

1.     Your abilities.

2.     Your talent(s) and gift(s).

3.     Your passion.

4.     Your career/profession.            

1.     Our abilities

Quote: Growing your niche is simply moving towards KNOWING YOUR STUFF.

Everyone is born with an ability. Everyone. The Bible says so, and anthropological studies also prove that all mankind is bestowed with the ability to do something. A society can’t move without people’s various abilities. There is not one person on this earth that lacks an ability to do something. Everyone has an ability. (An ability is defined as the quality of being able to perform or a quality that permits or facilitates achievement or accomplishment in something…)

I’ll give you practical examples in a simple nuclear family: your dad is able to lead, your mom is able to organize, your elder sister is able to give orders, the second born in your family is able to cook, you are able to read and understand; and all these people are endowed with qualities that enable them to do these things better than everyone else.

Note: Your ability depicts (describes or portrays) your talent and niche – it curves and exposes it.

Abilities are those tiny and usually neglected awesome acts in our family members or community that define the doers without asking. Is your sister able to cook the best meals than any of you by using the weirdest methods and with very few materials? Yeah, you get it. Is your brother able to naturally milk the cow without being taught? Yeah, now you get it.

Let me bring it further down…

Within a society, various abilities are exposed and discovered: a certain man has the ability to farm and produce crop all year long, another man is able to predict seasons, a certain woman is able to counsel quarreling families and bring them together, that chief you know or that man next door is a great peace-maker, another one is able to repair clothing without training, a certain young man is known for his ability to mend shoes and make electrical repairs and another has the ability to train people on nutrition, losing weight and physical fitness. Another young man you know is good at sports… Another one is the best artist in town – probably in graffiti or photography. A certain worship team member is known for being able to sing like an angel without being taught and a given dancer and keyboard player can do their thing so flawlessly that they are known for such efficiency. All these are abilities we experience in our communities in our day to day lives.

One fact is that people with certain abilities always wonder why some other person (or people) cannot do whatever they do in the simplest and most efficient way.

Have you ever met someone with the knowledge of coding or computers? They have abilities acquired through training that will blow you away. Scientists and doctors have abilities acquired through training too.

So as you come to realize, abilities are not limited to financial status, tribe, physique, level of education, or to the level of one’s IQ. There may be people with a very low IQ score, who have failed in school and some who never even went to school, but these people are damn good managers (the likes of Steve Jobs, Simon Peter and Jesus.)

There are people who are very observant and can detect mistakes in things/places that no one else was seeing, there are people who are very analytical in nature – whenever you want something scrutinized, you have to call them – and they know their stuff!! There are those who know how to save money. (Note: an ability - like extravagance in the use of money – one which wastes resources - is not a positive ability but a vice.)

If you were to ask me if I am lazy, I will tell you I truly I am lazy. I know it. My friends know it. But if you were to ask my boss, my pastor or my work mates if I am lazy, they will give you a different story. Why? Because my abilities differ. I may not able to wake up early and attend classes, but I damn know how to work smart. I may not be passing my exams, but I’ll give you practical life advice if you needed some. I always tell people not to ask me for advice on matters concerning school because I’ll fail them, but they can come for real life stuff - I have a lot.

To round it off, we have naturally acquired abilities (some inherited, and others learnt) and abilities/skills acquired through formal or informal training. These are the building blocks towards discovering your talent, gift and passion.

Therefore, if everyone has an ability [to do something], then everyone has a talent, a gift and a passion. It may be useful at home, or at school, or at work, or in the market place, or by the roadside, or at church, or in the community. You have it. Everyone has it. Scan through your life and discover it. Sometimes people tell you about it or point it out to you. Just be keen to listen when they complement you. Also remember that abilities are given to us or built in us mostly benefit others, so things like watching TV and movies, eating (being a foodie) and stinginess are negative abilities that should be avoided.

2.     Our talents and gifts

Quote: If you want to grow your niche, don’t be in the wrong place at the right time or in the right place at the wrong time.

A talent is defined as a natural ability or quality (so note that talents borrow a lot from abilities), while a gift is an endowment given to someone by God (mostly, gifts are only referred to when talking about one’s spiritual abilities – or abilities influenced by a spiritual force i.e. God.)

I’ll give you a few practical steps towards discovering your talent(s) and your gift(s);

a)     Have an incessant/unstoppable drive towards doing something positive.

In the present world, everyone wants to do nothing but achieve everything. Did you hear that? Everyone wants to do NOTHING, but achieve EVERYTHING. Now, the dangerous thing about wanting to do nothing but achieve everything is that we all end up idle and poor. Yes, IDLE and POOR we become.

The truth is that if everyone decided to do something in his/her society, (something constructive using their natural or acquired abilities – like the ones I have described above), there would be less begging and poverty. Poverty comes in because we all want to be lazy and useless (at least I am lazy but useful. Haha.) We are all driven towards doing nothing. It is our default setting. Doing nothing is our default setting. (And this is the cause of many divorces and breakups in relationships – both parties wanting to do nothing - all the time.)

If we want to discover our talents, we should be driven towards exploiting all our abilities. ALL. All of them. What do you love? Exploit it!! What do people enjoy whenever you do it? Exploit it!! Put all your strength in ensuring that you are moving all your might towards bettering a specific area in your life. What change do you need in your family, church, work place or community? Work towards solving it in the tiniest way you can!! You don’t have to be great, you just have to begin. You can start with working on one ability at a time, until (as I will show you later) you have developed a passion for it. We acquire the drive to explore and use our abilities through desiring personal growth. Unless we desire personal growth, we will never discover what we can do and achieve in our immediate society.

Many successful people work endless hours to meet targets, yet many lazy people think they don’t have talents or abilities. Talents are grown from the abilities God has given us: abilities that positively influence our immediate societies. Once we acquire a strong urge to do something about the little we already have, we grow into what we should become. We should remember that perfection is not acquired in one day. Talents can be discovered through the realization of needs: the need you see wherever you are is a platform upon which your ability and talent is built. Therefore, what disturbs you most to need change is what arouses and directs your ability and thereafter, your talent and gift.

b)    Develop consistency – practice a lot

I have been training several people on how to play the piano. (Those who know me well know that no one taught me how to play the piano. I just woke up one day, told the Lord I wanted to know how to play it, practiced a few notes for 3 months and voila!! I had already known enough to teach you a few things about playing it!!) Consistency worked for me. I have spent time telling every new student I have that unless you are consistent, you can never perfect any art. NEVER. You see, art depends on consistency, while science depends on specificity. Art without consistency will fail, and science without specificity becomes pseudoscience. (Yeah you can quote me on that one also. Lol.) So discover your love, your ability, your talent, learn a thing or two about it, but don't start boasting that you have known it. Seek to become better!! Our keyboard player and several other people always ask me why I am not recording my music, and I tell them, I need a phase in my composition and music writing where I'll become consistent in my music style and writing. I want to be perfect. I want my passion for what I do to be intact. You may see it as a waste of time and talent, but I wanna give out something complete, not half done – and only consistency helps you grow your talent towards that.

Thus this is how talent is nurtured through consistency: you discover your ability > you then focus your strength on that ability > after that, you keep on focusing your strength(s) on it until you are becoming better and better by the day…

An example is a person who is a great cook. First, they realize they can cook > then they do everything to better their cooking > then they expand their knowledge through research and learning new methods of cooking (new recipes and different cuisines) > they keep learning and doing what they do best until they ease themselves into perfection…

c)     Grow

I always say, “If you want to do something, start doing it. Now. Start doing it now. Stop wishing you can do it... If you have the energy, time and (whatever limited) resources at your disposal, still do it.”

Everyone knows that no business empire started with flourishing capital. No invention begun with people who "had it all". Someone had to believe that THEY ARE ABLE TO DO whatever was before them, and they did it. Simple. They did it.

This blog did not begin as a website - I had no resources for a domain subscription. But I want to assure you something - this blog will surely GROW into a website! Mark my words. I saw an opportunity, and I took it. Blogger offers free blog services, I took it. As write week after week, I dream of the day I'll register a website with my own domain. I dream of adding so much more to the website. But I am not just dreaming, no. I am using the free available resources available to me. I am writing.

So what can you do? Are you a poet? Do you have an ability in sharing your mind and thoughts? Is your ability in helping people? Can you lead? Do you cook? Do you love writing scripts? Do you design stuff? Are you a great critic? Is your ability to decipher things high? Are you moved when you hear people talk about technology or cars or games or plays or movies? Do you love singing? Don't wait to have a music producer for you to perfect a singing habit. Start it with what you have. Record those clips on your phone. Record them. Capture the opportunity. Research in your area of interest, get the loophole and go make it a reaaaaally biiiig hole!! Use the minimal resources you have to achieve the goal of growing your talent. Use your church's keyboard player to practice and rehearse. Use your mom’s garden to grow flowers and vegetables. Use your brother’s laptop to learn coding. Use your dad’s bicycle to run errands. Use whatever resource (plus a bit of the internet) to grow. Grow.

Simply grow your talent and gifts through exposure. Add in more effort through networking with people who are in the same field you are interested in. Use that phone of yours to research and grow instead of WhatsApping and chatting the whole day. Get mentors from the internet. Save articles. Read and re-read them again and again. Have blogs and websites you follow. That is what I call seeking to grow. So, grow. Grow your talent!!

Quote: Unless a talent is grown, it will soon fade away.

To be continued in Part 2…

Bonface Morris.