Why Friendzones Are Such a Bad Idea

This is the second time I am talking about the friendzone. I first talked about it here sometime back in 2013.

Well, today, let me kick this off and elaborate the point I want to put across by using a substantial example:

Let's say there exists Lady A (let's call her Ruth) living in Town A. She is a cool lady. She is also a devoted Christian who blows demons off their grid to I-don't-know-where. She is spiritual and stuff. She breathes and survives only on the air from the Garden of Eden. (Everlasting air.) She is a daughter of God.

If you ninjas would stalk her a little (yeah guys, just a little - especially you saved #TeamMafisi - just a little) you would realize that she posts Scripture and Gospel song lyrics and photos from a time she was in some big mind-blowing youth conference somewhere, and dude, she spews glory all over the place. Her social media timelines are altars. No joke. This chiq is thick with the Holy Ghost, and all you feel saying back when she's talking is, "Yes ma'am, hallelujah..." and stuff.
You are almost always juggling in bewilderment when you talk to her. She is a drone, and you are the ground; but she's such a drone that the control station is somewhere beyond the clouds. You get it?

Okay, so Ruth, in all her majesty and valor, is still single. Young. Beautiful. Devoted. Spirit-filled. But single. Yes, not even a guy has dared approach her in manner that suggests that he wants her in his life for a relationship. Every guy she has ever met only comes to her with the shackled bruhaha that she now abhors...

This is how most of them get to her (and it's mostly via text messages or that WhatsApp thing) (and by the way, who told us guys that we should make our first move on an awesome lady like Ruth via texts? That's rather cheap. Ooooh well...)

Here is a dude texting her:

"Hi Ruth. I loved the way you did it up there (on the pulpit). Are you free tomorrow? I wanted to borrow something from you - that book you talked about today..." (Ruth dances and talks with the angels, you know; like we all actually do in some sort of a way.)

And Ruth would coyly smile in unutterable ambivalence, wonder within her heart what the heck is wrong with every other "brother" today. I mean, what has her being on the pulpit blowing out stuff got to do with her being free tomorrow?
And, okay, goodness-and-badness-mixed, she doesn't even know this dude!

She would then stare at the phone for a while, put on her good manners lest she threw machetes at the only potential guy the Lord seems to have send her way and reply, "Oh, thanks. And who are you by the way...?"

The voice in the text message would reply back: "come on d.a. am Morix. Morris who was sittin at d third ro on yo left while u wa hailing glory..."

She would then go into a frenzy: a guy with a childish texting code is throwing flames her way!! He doesn't even possess texting etiquette. Dang!! But, remember, Ruth is the sensitive type. The utterly spiritual type. Well mentored by the Holy Ghost. She feels that the Lord can even speak through such lame texts. She needs to tolerate this guy. She'll friendzone him. So she throws it back: "I'm sorry Morix, er, Morris. I'm not free tomorrow. Maybe some other time."

And Morris, er, Morix, would hang up. Not even a reply with a "good night" comes through. Not even a petty "gdnyt". Dude just disappears. Until forevermore. She'll never hear from him again. The Book he was to borrow stays begging to be "borrowed". Forever.

Ruth has lived in Town A for close to 5 years now. All the guys she's been meeting are more or less just the same: Ploys. Games. Texts. Borrowing stuff. Aimless visits. Meaningless talk. But never ever making the next step to try out a relationship.

******************
There was one different guy though. His name was Philip. Philip was this cool guy who had just transferred to that town after initially working in Town B for two years. He wasn't that established in life, but he was cool.

This is what she loved about Philip: that dude was prayerful, a devoted Bible thumper and a guy committed to both his word and the Lord's. She loved this. She loved him. He was so cool with his prayer life and Bible thumping that they were prayer and Bible study partners. He thumped himself into almost anything. That was cool. That was really cool. And he didn't make aimless visits like the rest of them. And Philip didn't send aimless texts. Or WhatsApps. Or senseless messenger texts. Or please-call-me's. This dude had direction. She felt like a little Simon Peter in the majesty of his presence. She felt like he made her gloried majesty complete. All her deafness was healed by his presence.

So our dear Ruth flew on the wings of fantasy in the hallowed presence of Philip all the time they were together. He was her God-send apostle. In fact, in all this stomping, she reached a point where she had promised to Bible thump herself into his heart kama angeslaky. But it seems he wasn't thaaaat into her in the same way she was thaaaat into him. She was waaay into him that he realized it.

And that was a problem.

You know why it was a problem? There were a couple of guys that left her alone in those two years - guys who kept on thinking that she and Philip were a thing. A thing. Yes, they were so into each other that people began asking when the wedding bells were going to be tossed out.

But that was only a dream: hers and theirs, not his.

This is how things went:

The reason why Philip seems to be oblivious of the fact that Ruth was a potential thatcher was that Philip had his own issues. He was the kind of guy who was reserved when it came to matters to do with relationships. He had met several other ladies initially in Town B. Church goers. Praise and worship members. Singers. So-called ushers. All church damsels. Church flock. Cherch flockers. Daughters of the Most High God.

His intentions were and had never been to throw himself at a woman and woo her into his arms. No. That's not how he rolls. His heart was into being right with God: in character, in manner, in desire and in mind. (He is the rare species of men, right?)

So when Philip met Ruth after his transfer to Town A, he didn't imagine that this thing (for that's exactly what it had become) would grow into a relationship. He knew that they shared moments with Ruth yeah, and that was it. She was a great lady. A great friend. She knew a lot of Bible, was committed to both her work and God's and could make a good wife someday. Maybe. But not his wife.

The reason why he was reserved is because he grew up knowing (oh yeah, he was misinformed, right?) that relating with a woman in other ways other than seeking the face of God always complicated things. So he adopted a certain policy: he'll always friendzone them (women.)

But the problem with such a decision is that he may end up without a life partner (that is if his prospects involve getting married some day) or he may end up hurting a long list of ladies without knowing. If he's not going to edit that so-called policy and add the following subtitles: "I just wanna be a friend. No relationship for now...", to make the ladies be aware of what he is up to, he'll end up messed up or messing up so many other people's lives.

So he happened to stay in Town A for two years and moved abruptly even without saying a goodbye to the church where he served or to his "dear" Ruth.

Ruth was left wondering. Gazing at the church doors every Sunday whenever she served hoping that Philip will appear again - just as he had disappeared.

But it has never happened. It seems he went for good.

"Maybe he had Lady B, somewhere?" wonders Ruth. "Or is he bisexual?" "Or a player...?" She goes on and on.

******************
That was a year ago. Philip's profession involves him moving from town to town so he moved on. (He too isn't ready to settle down.) And sadly enough, communication between them has just faded slowly into emptiness. She feels she's gone back to square zero. Thumping herself into her next potential relationship again. In fact, after giving it careful thought, it seems she's giving up on ever getting into a relationship. Ever.

So this is what our dear Ruth has decided:

1. No more friendzones.
In fact, she's going to make it her main prayer before she even stumbles into "manyunyu ya relationship" that this dude she is to meet would never even imagine friendzoning her; because, dear Lord, she's gonna die. She's gonna die of being friendzoned. Friendzones are such a bad thing to a God-fearing girl like her.

2. To avoid friendzones which are the source of all weird loneliness, she's going to avoid being too close to a guy before she knows if they can be heading anywhere.
Guys move on pretty fast, ladies don't; so why crash her boat before it even sails? She'll want to know if she is truly sharing the boat with this guy before giving it a go into the murky but beautiful waters of the heart.

3. Friendzones aren't funny, she has just discovered.
She is not going to treat a guy's movement into her life so lightly either. Her heart is not - and she'll repeat - her heart is not a play ground. She'll have to deal with every guy that tries to breach the fence around it the way she would deal with a thief.

4. She realized that once you are friendzoned, no matter how much you are in love, the possibility of getting into a relationship with the same guy is the same as that of a honeymoon on Mars.
So, no honey. No friendzones for her. She doesn't want to have an eternal imaginary dream wedding and marriage. No, not her.

5. She decided that if she's going to draw close to any guy, it would be at a healthy distance that will give room for a real relationship.
No BFF stuff. No weird closeness. No "shared moments". If a guy wants her in such a way, he's gonna have to put it straight on the table.

Do you think this is reason enough for you to hate friendzones too? Like Ruth? Do you think Philip cares, wherever he is that Ruth was affected this much?

Well, it's your choice.

But again, that's why friendzones are such a bad idea.

Bonface Morris.

Of Fury and Foul

Have you ever been angry at someone? Or something?

I mean, really really really really angry at someone? Even yourself? And that you felt like strangling them? Or hiring a gunman to blow them out of the world? Or a kidnapper to carry them to Azerbaijan? (Yes, you're going to Google that, haha).

If you have ever been this angry, it is possible that;
1. You are stupid, or
2. You had a reason to become that angry, or
3. You need help, or
4. All the above... plus... you are a normal person.

******************
When the religious pundits among us read the paragraphs above, they have a good reason to yell, "Aaaah Morris, anger is sin. We don't get angry... We get over it by evening..." And they'll join the bandwagon that trades the good Scripture below for a thousand "elephants":

               Ephesians 4:26 (NKJV) "Be angry, and do not sin: 

               do not let the sun go down on your wrath."

Well, I partially agree with them. Anger in itself may not be sin, but it is likely to lead us to sin. It is a trap to guide us away from God's righteousness.
But are we to leave it at that? Are we not to seek and get a way out of this trap? Are we not requested to find a way (definitely through the mercies of God) to ensure that our anger doesn't, at least by evening, send our victim(s) on an indefinite trip to Azerbaijan?

Well, that is what this blog post is about.

****************
It is genuinely practical that each one of us has been angry at one point or another: at yourself, at your landlord or landlady, at God, at your pastor, at your leader, at your boss, at your governor or the government, at your schoolmate, at your workmate, at your wife or husband, at your girlfriend or boyfriend, at your cat, at your cow, at crops in the field, at the sun or the rain, at your car, at your phone, Xbox, TV or tablet, at your laptop or desktop, at your shoes, at your dress, at your tie, at your bank, at your business, at your shirt, at your umbrella, at your roof, at that driver or tout, at a policeman/woman, at some public officer, at your teacher or lecturer, at your parent(s), at your sister or brother... This list is endless!!

This is what I'm saying: anger is inescapable. It is inevitable. It lives with us. You have either had it, faced it, become its victim or are planning to experience it. We are prone to become angry at some point in our lives.

The two types of anger referred to in Christian contexts are:
1. Righteous anger/indignation which is anger that is directed towards what angers God Himself i.e. anger towards/against sin. While dealing with this type of anger, we are required to be careful not to sin (as in the verse quoted above.)
2. Unholy anger/indignation which is normally due to envy, jealousy, pride or arrogance, lack of self control or due to a high temper personality. This is the kind that mostly leads us to sin through violence, unforgiveness, pride, verbal abuse, murder, suicide etc. It is an anger that is born out of selfishness.

**************
I'll divide this blog into three parts:
1. How to deal with your own anger
2. How to deal with another person's anger, and
3. How to deal with God's anger.

I'll try to be short and to the point.

***************
1. How to deal with your own anger.
The dictionary definition of anger is: A strong emotion; a feeling that is oriented toward some real or supposed grievance (WordWeb Dictionary, © 2013).

Anger is a normal and natural thing. God is angry at times: Psalms 7:11 -  "God is a just judge, and God is angry with the wicked every day" and Mark 3:5 - "And when He had looked around at them with anger, being grieved by the hardness of their hearts, He said to the man, 'Stretch out your hand.' And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored as whole as the other."

We too, according to Ephesians 4:26, are allowed to be angry but not to fall into sin (by doing, for instance, the nasty things I mentioned a few paragraphs above) in our anger.

In an article titled What Does the Bible Say About Anger? by GotQuestions.org, they begin by saying, "Handling anger is an important life skill. Christian counselors report that 50 percent of people who come in for counseling have problems dealing with anger. Anger can shatter communication and tear apart relationships, and it ruins both the joy and health of many. Sadly, people tend to justify their anger instead of accepting responsibility for it. Everyone struggles, to varying degrees, with anger. Thankfully, God’s Word contains principles regarding how to handle anger in a godly manner, and how to overcome sinful anger..."

Personal anger may or may not be justifiable. It may be as a result of being wronged for no good reason, or being wronged because it was our fault. It may be due to our negligence, our ignorance, our pride or our overreaction.

In trying to find out the reason or source of your anger, ask yourself the following questions:
(a) Am I being fair to myself by being angry? Should I really be angry at him/her/them/it? Is it sensible or am I overreacting?
(b) Was I actually wronged or I'm just escalating an issue that should have been solved without tantrums? Am I being petty or realistic? Is it entirely their fault that this happened to me? (Like when your parents couldn't take you to school because of lack of money or when a lady becomes pregnant due to engaging in premarital sex.)
(c) What if I wronged someone in the same way I've been wronged? Will I expect them to behave differently?
(d) What if God was here? Would He say it is okay for me to behave the way I am doing?

Asking the above questions will help you;
(a) To stop judging yourself more highly than you should.
(b) To stop accusing people wrongfully in cases where the anger is your own problem.
(c) To stop criticizing yourself wrongfully for past or current mistakes, and
(d) To detect whether the anger is your weakness or is being fueled by things or people around you.

After deciphering the cause of your anger: whether it is your fault or another person's, this will help you know the best step to take:

(a) In cases where it is your fault and you are angry at yourself, (for a good reason or for no good reason), ask God to help you to be as calm as possible and to tackle the issue at hand with diligence. You may need to be brave and face the reality and the consequences of your actions with calmness. It was your fault, so ask God to help you get over it.
Also, if you have an anger problem (that is, you are easily angered), ask God to help you practice self control whenever you are almost spilling over. It may not be easy in the beginning, but He'll help you overcome the urge to become angry with time.

(b) In cases where it is righteous anger directed at yourself or someone else because of a sin, you will need to ask God on how to channel it wisely in order to bring about a good solution rather than blowing up and causing more trouble.

(c) In other cases where it is someone else's fault that you are angry and that you are not trying to shift blame, move to the next part of this blog (how to deal with another person's anger).

(d) Try singing. Nobody in this whole world can sing and remain angry. Nobody.

Note: Also, ask for forgiveness and mend relationships if such moments of personal anger caused you (or cause you) to directly or indirectly hurt someone.

The key verses to help you understand and solve personal anger are:
(a) Matthew 7:12 (NIV) "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
(b) 2 Corinthians 5:10 (NIV) "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body (including anger - emphasis mine), whether good or bad."
(c) 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
(d) Unrighteous anger is sin before God: Galatians 5:19-21 says "Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, FITS OF ANGER, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."
(e) James 1:19-20: "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."
(f) Matthew 5:22 (NIV) "But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, 'Raca!' shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, 'You fool!' shall be in danger of hell fire."

2. How to deal with another person's anger
If you have had a friend or someone close to you who has a high temper problem - the one who gets angry at almost anything - you probably have gone through enough trouble trying to calm them down.

People get angry for various reasons, including;
(a) You wronged them.
(b) It is their weakness. They have an anger problem.
(c) They have unresolved issues from their past.

(a) You wronged them
If you wrong someone, expect them to become angry at you - unless they are wimps. Some overreact, some are rational, while others say nothing at all. Everyone deals with anger differently. I've learned to deal with mine by shutting up. That's me.
But inasmuch as we have no control over how other people react to our wrongdoing, we can do something to show them that we are sorry: 

(i) Ask for forgiveness. We can sincerely tell them that we truly are sorry for what we did. This is best done face-to-face with an elderly person or via a phone call. (Don't ever text an elderly person to tell them you are sorry. That is like taking them for granted.) Or we can text our friends.
Depending with the degree of wrongdoing we had caused, sometimes it is better to involve a wise third party if you think the wronged person may end up arguing and angry again.
(ii) We can do something to show that we are sorry. Buy them a gift. Spend time with them. Offer to listen to their side of the story without interference e.t.c.

(b) It is their weakness. They have an anger problem.
People with an anger problem are the hardest to handle. This is because you have little or no control at all on how they react to issues.

There are a few ways you can deal with them though;
(i) Pray for them. Yes, you may take it for granted but it is only He who created them that can make them over.
(ii) Shut up and keep calm when they are talking. Do so even if you feel and are convinced that all the things they are saying are rubbish and wrong. Just listen, take mental notes on where you think they are wrong and interject only after they are done. Their temper is normally raised when you answer back while they are talking.
(iii) Listen to them keenly and after they are done, request to walk away and come back to resolve the matter after they have calmed down. This will ensure that both of you tread on common ground.
(iv) Ignore their tantrums on minor issues and useless stuff which you know is petty. However, don't ignore what they are saying altogether. You don't wanna leave a person with high temper feeling taken for granted: they'll surely drop you in Afghanistan - while attached to a nuke!!

(c) They have unresolved issues from their past.
A lady may always be angry at men because of how previous boyfriends have treated her or because her father was cruel, noncommittal, irresponsible or violent. The same may happen to a young man who has had a history of absent, disrespectful or abusive women.

If a person is angry or hateful towards you because you are from another tribe it may be because someone from your tribe wronged them or due to misguided envy, they were taught to hate people from your tribe or their anger has no cause at all - they just love hating people from your tribe - which is stupid.

A family may always be angered by the presence of members of another family due to past land issues, or witchcraft, or envy or some sort of inferiority complex.

You may be angered by the appearance or presence of a certain person because of what they did to you in the past - which keeps on jumping in your mind whenever they resurface.

How should you plus these people deal with such anger, then?
(i) Pray for them. They are misguided and have issues to deal with. It is understandable. Please pray for them.
(ii) Talk to them. It may not be easy but talking to them and opening their eyes to the truth about their anger may help and guide them in wanting to seek help.
(iii) Don't judge or condemn them. Understand them, then offer help in overcoming the urge to fury over people by holding grudges. Teach them about forgiveness and its importance to a person's health and well-being.

Whenever you wrong someone or someone wrongs you and your heart is heavy, always remember this: Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

3. How to deal with God's anger
God can be grieved and angered too (refer to verse above). But when dealing with God, it is either we are angry at Him or He is angry with us. The main things that cause God to become angry at us are;

(a) Our lack of faith.
In the verse below, the LORD became angry with Moses because he (Moses) refused to believe in the power of Him that was sending Him to Egypt to save His people: Exodus 4:14 (NIV) "So the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses, and He said: 'Is not Aaron the Levite your brother? I know that he can speak well. And look, he is also coming out to meet you. When he sees you, he will be glad in his heart.'"

(b) Our disobedience and sinfulness.
Hebrews 3:10 (NIV) says "Therefore I was angry with that generation, And said, 'They always go astray in their heart, And they have not known My ways.'"
Israel was continually disobedient. This infuriated God and made Him put them under the mercies of their enemies from time to time. This can happen to us too.

(c) Our preference of other things apart from Him.
Joshua told the people of Israel this to remind them that they should not be tempted to replace God with anything else once they are settled in Canaan; Joshua 24:20 (NIV) "If you forsake the Lord and serve foreign gods, then He will turn and do you harm and consume you, after He has done you good."

Note: God is jealous, and almost always, jealousy comes with anger. But His kind of anger is spoken of like this in Scripture:
- Psalms 103:8 (NIV) "The Lord is merciful and gracious, SLOW TO ANGER, and abounding in mercy."
- Nehemiah 9:17 (NIV) "They refused to obey, And they were not mindful of Your wonders That You did among them. But they hardened their necks, And in their rebellion They appointed a leader To return to their bondage. But You are God, Ready to pardon, Gracious and merciful, SLOW TO ANGER, Abundant in kindness, And did not forsake them."

Considering the above reasons for God's anger towards us, we can realize that the solution boils down to loving, trusting and believing in Him in faithfulness. It is not hard to therefore deal with God's anger. It only requires our repentance and humility in following what He tells us through Scripture.

You can search for and listen to these two podcasts on anger from Ask Pastor John podcast on SoundCloud.com or directly from DesiringGod.org >
1. If God Is Happy, Why Does He Seem Angry? (Episode 133) and
2. The Root of Sinful Anger (Episode 572)

Also, something worthy to note is that we can find ourselves angry with God at some times. And when we are, we need to focus on who He is and what He says concerning us and not on what we see. 

We may see that we are without hope and help, yet He sees that we are strong and He is here with us through it all:
- Hebrews 13:5 (NIV) "Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'"
- John 16:33 (NIV) "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

God's nature is not like our own - for we become angry and want to become disobedient in order to prove a point; on the other hand, God becomes angry so that we may realize our mistake(s) and turn back to Him. He is not pleased with us missing what He promised us through disobedience.

**************
So, there it is. I hope you've been helped on how to deal with anger. I know the LORD will help you come through and become better on the other side.

Until next time,

Bonface Morris.

Live Blogs: K.A.G. Annual National Youth Conference 2015, Day 4 (The Last Day)

Friday, 24th April, 2015 (Day 4 - The Final Day)

Campus gate

8.00am

Good morning good people.
Let's get it on with this...

8.05am
Today is the last day of the conference and I bet this one my last post in this series of posts live from the Conference.
(It has been interesting following up on events and posting live from this side of the world.) 
Over this time, my relationship with Android battery savers is becoming bitter by the day. My battery's battery charge is draining at steroid-induced speeds. 

Okay, putting aside my Android woes, lemme remind you that we were warned yesterday that today is gonna be slightly overcrowded with activities. We are likely to do a lot today in such a small amount of time... 

8.53am
I'm here sipping this tea (not as fake as the one I drank the other day) and I'm seeing these photo stands/booths. Okay, just to be fair here, who still takes photos within photo stands/booths? Huh? With all those colors and initials all over you in a photo?

Musicians and various instruments

9.03am

I'm one hour late to enter the hall. Dang. (It seems I have that "be late but be cool" bug remotely installed in my flesh...)
From a distance, I can see former Muslim young people (a couple that is now married) speaking about something they are calling HOPE FOR AFRICA. (I'll let them remain anonymous for security purposes.)
The story is being told by the husband, and this is what he is saying;
1. Africans believed in false deities in the past.
2. Europeans came to bring the message of the Gospel to Africans - a picture of Abraham in the book of Genesis when he flew to Africa to escape drought.
3. The Ethiopian eunuch is probably the first Christian missionary of the current dispensation.
4. God has been using Africa to reveal His glory. Although there is persecution, the Gospel still has to spread. Even terrorists can get saved.
(He now gives a testimony of a terrorist that got saved. And then he shows us a video clip on salvation to the Islamic population and our role in bringing them the good news. I can't see the video clearly because I'm not strategically placed.) 

9.25am
We are now giving towards the couple's missionary work to the Muslims. They need at least KSh 100,000 per month. 

9.33am
Under the guidance of Rev Jeff Kennedy, we're now stretching our hands and praying for the couple.
He then heads straight away to preaching...

Speaker - Rev Jeff Kennedy 
Text - 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NIV)  
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Topic - Back to the Basics (Pathways to Freedom) 

Sermon Notes:-
1. Other gods don't bring surety of a future to their followers and believers. Only Christ offers that assurance. Christianity, in its nature of an individual relating with the creator, brings about change in the believer.
2. A believer, through the Holy Spirit that dwells in him/her, is able to discern the things of God.
3. Christians should seek transformation by the LORD. (Romans 12:1)
4. Overcoming the flesh is also a challenge we face while trying to live godly lives. (Colossians 3:7). We shouldn't have time to do the very things we used to do while we were still sinners.
5. Transformation is not a one day thing, but it happens day by day while striving to walk righteously on the path of salvation. The work of renewal is not mine, but of Christ who dwells in me by His Spirit. By this, my conscience is cleansed so that I can serve Christ freely.
6. The four purposes of God's Word that are the pathways to my freedom are;
(a) Come to God's Word as His student - come while ready to be taught. The Word instructs me on what I can do. It's God's Word which when applied, the supernatural is revealed.
(b) Come to God's Word while ready to be rebuked. (He uses an analogy of electricity to describe how careful we are about rebuke when electricity is involved.) The Word warns us to do something or not.
(c) Come to God's Word while ready for correction. The Word brings us back to the right path whenever we are losing the way.
(d) Come to God's Word while ready to be trained in righteousness. We must be disciplined in training by His Word. When we continue listen to God's Word but are not ready to put it in practice, we are like the person Christ talked about in Matthew 7:26-27 >> "But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." 

(After sermon prayer.) 

10.30am
30 minutes break. 

(And my mind wanders again >> Oh, didn't I hear that this chiq was gonna get married last year? *Nods head towards the direction where she is* Yes, this one? Okay, this also is none of my business. I know.)

(Ladies, here also is an interesting article for your personal reading >> Why Christian Women Need to Stop Waiting on Men | RELEVANT Magazine)

11.10am
Two dance groups do their cool stuff. I can't share the videos today, but I'll upload them to my YouTube channel and add to this post in due time. 

 

Guys rehearsing during break time

11.25am

Praise and worship. Man, why is it that stuff only gets better on the grand finale? Why? Why does awesomeness hide until the last day?
(Whoopers are now whooping like whoa!!) 

11.43am
District Youth Directors introductions. 

11.55am
Guys from ETS Buruburu KAG are here. ETS (Equipping the Saints Program) has been in existence since 2009.
1. What is ETS? It is a program that helps us read, understand and apply the Bible in our day to day lives wherever we are.
2. It is a discipleship program.
(One of the ladies from the team shares her life story and how ETS has been helpful - its members have been supportive)
3. It is designed to help reach people, organize ourselves and plan in a manner that the LORD will bless our plans.
4. It makes every saint a reproducing vessel.
5. Enables us discover God's Will for our lives, develop character, helps in developing interpersonal relationships and become better leaders.
6. Redefines discipleship and service by the help of the Holy Spirit. Helps us apply God's Word.
7. Matthew 24:3-50 > servants in a household > Christ asks if these servants will be found faithful in service when the Master (Himself) comes back.
8. There is a graduation ceremony at the end of the program.
9. It also has a feeding program for needy people in the slums and are involved in evangelism.
10. 1 Samuel 27:1 (But David thought to himself, "One of these days I will be destroyed by the hand of Saul. The best thing I can do is to escape to the land of the Philistines. Then Saul will give up searching for me anywhere in Israel, and I will slip out of his hand.") The above scripture is a good example of what is seen even today in many reprobates - giving up and deciding to fight against God and His people or plans.
The program has three phases. 

(Another lady shares why it is important for youth to be empowered through this program.) :-
1. Christianity is shallow mostly because most Christians are not rooted in the Word.
2. ETS, just like Christ did with His disciples, spends time with individuals in order to mentor us.
3. This program equips all of us equally.
4. "The Lord is our strength" is the tagline behind ETS. This program has various products or media items we may buy. It'll begin live on Vision TV from May 2, 2015.

12.33pm
I've just posted yesterday's events as a blog. Rev Jeff Kennedy's wife says hi.
The best three Bible Trivia/Challenge winners are being awarded. She's the one handing over the gifts to them. Each of the guys is being awarded money equivalent to the price of a Bible. That should be approximately KSh 500, right? Rev Jeff Kennedy and the wife are offered a gift too. 

(Yeah, and I'm realizing that I'm just doing alright without those clumsy battery savers) 

 

Campus as viewed from outside

12.51pm

I'm now hungry. There's a lady from CIC Insurance Group. She is here in the name of partnering with KAG youth. That's okay. She's encouraging us (youth) to acquire a saving culture. We may join by acquiring the various products offered by CIC e.g. Jijenge Savings Plan.
Ruth Njihia (of CIC Insurance Group too), a member of KAG, says the following:-
1. She'll talk about money and insurance.
2. Issues to do with money and its use change as one advances in life.
3. When we acquire a savings plan, it makes our tomorrow more manageable through building a "personal safety net" e.g. through a Contingency Plan which secures one's future (or the future of the partner or children if married.)
4. There are two types of saving plans: one where you get a lumpsum (after every three years) or the other which pays you monthly.
5. Since 1978, CIC Insurance Group has been helping people have personal savings. They have 22 branches spread across the country and another in South Sudan. 

1.15pm
Various announcements from Pst Sammy:-
1. There will be a leadership seminar and training at KAG Youth Centre, Nakuru from 20th to 24th July for all the district officials. Charges are KSh 500 per person.
2. 21st to 27th September, 2015 > youth mission to Marakwet District. Charges to be verified later.
3. October and November > National Youth Office visits to all districts across Kenya.
4. Next year's National Youth Conference will be in Kitale. (Co-hosted by 5 districts: Kitale, Mt Elgon, Moi's Bridge, Kapenguria and Turkana.)
Dates: as from 19th April, 2016.

1.25pm
Editor of "The Eagle Magazine" has offers in this month's edition. The magazine is KSh 100 per copy. 

1.30pm
The longest lunch break so far.
(This dude is buzzing a tune right into my left ear as we line up for food. Dude, I don't need your music.) 

Food being served to guests and leaders

2.26pm

#NowPlaying some cool techno Gospel music >> Hang On (Dave Aude Radio Edit Remix) by Plumb.

As I'm seated here creating a techno Gospel music playlist, some guy has a case. I mean, there are two chiqs in his phonebook called, let's say, "Ann" (not real name), and he happened to text one last evening thinking that it is the other. Nukes are now being targeted at him lady style. Phew!! He's gotta get some anti-nukeoids for this. His bad.

4.00pm
There is this chiq from Eldoret who lost her iPhone 4S. Yes, you heard me right and I actually verified it. It was an iPhone 4S! So I ask her, "Hey, when, how, etc etc did you lose it?" and she tells me how. And she wants me to help her track it. So we delve into those useless iOS devices lectures that include petty details on iCloud. com, Apple devices and accounts, security, vulnerability, Google Maps, Android security (because Android's security ecosystem is simpler to explain and understand) and we end up somewhere hopeful.
Her device runs iOS 8 which makes it easier to locate via www.iCloud.com ...
I will spare you the useless details tho... 

5.00pm
#NowPlaying Alive by Hillsong Young & Free. Yes, my techno playlist is still on. And, by the way, when is Plumb's latest album "Exhale" coming out? Oooh well... 

6.21pm
In my strolls within the campus farm, I spot guys on some kind of date... And a guy praying loudly 100m away.

7.33pm
Ninjas from Busia District who have won the football trophy and were to be awarded money equivalent to the price of the trophy they have won twice, are heckling seriously over payment. It seems they're smelling something fishy.

8.09pm
Lemme now get you something to calm your reading nerves for now >> 10 Things Young Singles in Romantic Relationships Ought to Know 

Me... I look weird, right?

8.45pm
Back inside for the finale!!
Let's dooo thiiis!!

Preacher - Pastor Sammy Kihu Mwangi 
Text - Hebrews 2:1-4 (NIV) "We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away. For if the message spoken by angels was binding, and every violation and disobedience received its just punishment, how shall we escape if we ignore such a great salvation? This salvation, which was first announced by the Lord, was confirmed to us by those who heard him. God also testified to it by signs, wonders and various miracles, and gifts of the Holy Spirit distributed according to his will."

Notes:-

1. We need to pay more attention because we have received a far greater message by a far greater messenger.
2. When we don't follow instructions, it is somehow unforgivable if you mess in life.
3. Our excuses can not save us from the penalty of our disobedience towards what we have heard.
4. Personal questions posed by the preacher: What is that one thing I'll remember about this conference? And what am I going to do about it? 

9.58pm
Various awards and prizes are being given to winners in the following categories:
1. Monthly STL offering - prize given to Nyandarua District.
2. Youth Day offering - prize given to Kitale District.
3. 10% Monthly offering - prize given to Nairobi District.
4. Top three most improved districts: Moi's Bridge, Vihiga and Loitoktok.
5. Overall giving - prize given to Nairobi District.
6. Soccer winners - prize given to Busia District (they carry away KSh 35,000.)

10.06pm
Final prayers and a priestly benediction from the National Youth Director. 

This is my last writing tonight. We're leaving tomorrow morning at 4.00am.

Let's meet again when I come back to blog on our kawaida stuff. (I'm now feeling like a reporter/journalist, lol.)

Bonface Morris.

Live Blogs: K.A.G. Annual National Youth Conference 2015, Day 3

Thursday, 23rd April, 2015 (Day 3)

6.00am
The first thing I'm doing this morning is uninstalling DU Battery Saver Pro. This thing is a hoax. I bet I'll have to reinstall that Battery Doctor thingy or quit using Android battery savers for good.

9.00am
I'm in. The praise and worship is great this morning. Christ has done something to these guys, I promise. They sound better and with a better sense of direction to where they are "taking" us.

(Today is World Book Day by the way, if you didn't know. Read a book or two, quote your favorite author etc etc. Become one of those fake pundits who show off how "well read" they are or have become...)

Parking lot and Eastern side of the administration block

9.05am
The Assistant National Youth Director welcomes the National Youth Director onto the podium.

9.13am
Then the guest speaker stands up to minister today earlier than he did yesterday.

Here's the sermon:-

Speaker - Rev. Jeff Kennedy.
Text - 1 Samuel 3:1-10 (the story of the call of one Samuel)
Topic - Back to the Basics (A Call to Priesthood)

(Before I roll down to today's sermon notes, I'm now having a strong feeling that very few preachers stick to a theme. Very few preachers preach with relation to a theme... I see this all the time...)

Sermon Notes:-
1. We are priests, just like Christ - a kingdom of priests.
2. Samuel is born for one purpose: to become an extraordinary priest representing Israel to God.
3. Somewhere "in the middle of the night", God also wants to speak to our lives.
4. We need to be alert to know what God wants to speak to and about us in such a time.
5. Unlike Samuel who didn't understand that the LORD was calling him, we need to read His Word and know what He is saying; and later be ready to obey Him.
6. Wherever we have been called in our professions or work places or homes or schools or churches, we are priests in those places to influence the people we engage with for God's extraordinary plan. We need to understand that we are priests wherever we are for the sake of God.
7. Functions of priesthood;
(a) Represent God to people
(b) Represent people to God
Altar call.

10.30am
Break.
STL (Speed the Light) tings.
Districts are preparing to give the STL offerings. We have a total of 32 KAG districts in Kenya (not administratively separated.) 

(This is when we happen to take the photo below.) 

Part of guys from Kakamega

11.45am
Guys at Vision TV marketing their youth friendly programmes.
CIC Insurance Group is also here, selling their products.
I've switched sitting places for the time being due to this STL thing.

12.18pm
Rev. Jeff Kennedy coming in to foresee STL (Speed The Light) offering giving. The offerings are towards supporting missionary work.
This is what he says:-

1. STL is not about the money but people.
2. We're giving to those in need.
3. We should give to our neighbors even when we feel they don't deserve it.
4. We should give to the undeserving for Christ did the same. We are not for our own selves only. Give mercy, give forgiveness, give prayer etc.
5. When we give, it'll be given back to us.
6. Through events like STL, God funds our dream of reaching more people.

(Again, as a side note, remember this: while in a conference meeting, shut to ears to anything everyone's saying against it. Open your mind to what the LORD is doing and you'll be blessed.) 

The guy from CIC Insurance Group talking about their products

12.40pm
STL offering itself.
Giving is per district - 32 districts in total.
The project is buying our National Youth Director a car worthy 2million Kenya shillings.

13.30pm
After giving our KSh. 12,000 STL contribution as Kakamega District, I'm back to posting yesterday's blog.

(And it is this time I'm now learning about Google's Project Fi. They're saying it's ready to roll out. That sounds good because the modern world will be able to access a working network anywhere in the world...)

(Also, Charles Stanley (you should know him) Declines an Award after Jews Question His Views on Gays is another headline I'm reading as they count that STL money.
Okay, if you don't know him (Dr Charles Stanley), then you know his son, Andy Stanley, right? Andy Stanley of "Your Move With Andy Stanley" podcast? If you don't know either or both of them, you're dead. Hah. You should know people. You should know people who speak sensible and beautiful stuff.

Read their family story of divorce, separation and reunion here and here. Theirs is a very moving story.)

2.14pm
Back to STL stuff...
Nairobi takes away the STL trophy by raising a whooping KSh. 218,315. This is absolutely awesome!!
The total amount raised is KSh. 829,221. (Including a contribution from the guest speaker, Rev Jeff Kennedy).
Order of the top five districts with amounts raised:
1. Nairobi District - KSh 218,315
2. Uasin Gishu District - KSh 44,850
3. Mombasa District - KSh 41139
4. Mt. Kenya District - KSh 30,590
5. Eastern District - KSh 27,475

Rev Jeff Kennedy

3.15pm
There is an incidence that we are called as leaders to solve which involves gossip about something without supporting evidence. Just useless gossip that sweeps away people, tarnishes others' image and destroys relationships. Words can't be withdrawn; even after forgiveness is offered, words cannot be undone. That's the point.

3.30 - 7.00pm
My phone goes off.
But that's after watching this guy blabber about I don't know what for around 2hours.
Guys break for games... And I gotta go out for a walk...

(Several guys from our District have been trickling in one by one. We are around 36 or so people from Kakamega District by now.)

7.44pm
Diner time.

8.30pm
Back inside the hall.
And The Bible Challenge is back. Reloaded. It is way better than it was yesterday. (I guess first attempts always create room for improvement.)
15 districts are contesting today. Ours is represented by one John Githanga.
Yesterday's winners (5 out of the 15 that competed yesterday) compete with today's winners (5 out of the 15 that just competed.) We come out at position 9. Not bad. Mt. Kenya District emerge as winners.

(I've spotted one ninja wearing an orange suit and a pink tie on a black shirt. ORANGE!! SMH.)

(Also, there are news floating all over the place of stuff that happened today at the Groove Awards Nominations, 2015. Grasp the news on the links below;
I Love You BRO: WILLY PAUL And BAHATI Prayed For And HUG Each Other In Public [IN PICTURES] and Willy Paul slams accusers by bringing his mother to Groove Awards Nominations)

22.56pm
Good night people, let's do this again tomorrow.

For #KAGNYC2015 #NYC2015

Bonface Morris.

Live Blogs: K.A.G. Annual National Youth Conference 2015, Day 2

Wednesday, 22nd April, 2015 (Day 2)

 

Scrapbook moments

7.00am
It seems like a fine day, this one. I've woken up late and it is therefore likely that I won't be taking breakfast. But I decide otherwise: to drink that fake tea the mama chai at the gate makes. 

8.30am
Some noisy but average praise right here... Average praise and worship. I guess it'll pick up with time... I choose to sit at the furthest end of the hall (a 3,000 capacity hall) - onto the left hand side of the preacher. 

The Hall

8.40am
There's a power blackout right in the middle of the worship service!! (I later learn that the amplifier had failed.) There's nothing as staining to a worship leader as leading thousands of people without the backup of instruments and microphones. Let's see how it fairs on... First days are always very complicated logistically. 

8.56am
Power ain't back yet, but the activities are on. 

9.04am
Presentations time. There's a guy here. Paul Mwai (or something close to that) is his name. I can't hear whatever he's singing. It's either he's singing in English or in Kiyuk or both. But guys clap before he's done - and that simply means that he's boring. 

9.11am
A lady is on the platform. (I'm sorry I can't take their photos because I'm kinda 60m away. Yeah, this hall is that big). From this time onwards, there are guys coming up to sing their own song compositions and all kinds of other presentations.
There is a projector over there but it seems these technicians are not ready to put it to good use.
Another guy just sang - a good worship song actually. There's another one with team building gestures.

9.28am
All the presentations upto now are peculiarly weird. And you still ask me why I don't sing at conferences? Come on!
Some guy just played us: he went there to present and did nothing. He just stood there, did nothing and came out from the podium.

Within the hall. (Focused from the furthest part of the left wing)

9.51am
The projector guys are now putting it to good use.
Some chiq attempts to sing Zahara's Loliwe but on a high key. It flops badly. This guy is trying it again. He started well, then changed the key. He has changed the key 3 times!! Dang. We are uninterested already. 

10.32am
And because these guys are boring, lemme read my devotion now. 

10.41am
There is a call to prayer just after I've chronicled and posted yesterday's events.
Guys from Vision TV (a subsidiary of KAG) are here. 

11.00am
Pastor Sammy Kihu Mwangi, the National Youth Director, is on the pulpit. We're excited. He invites this year's guest speaker, Rev. Jeff Kennedy and his wife (Assemblies of God ministers) who've traveled from Michigan USA to minister in the conference. 

Preacher - Rev. Jeff Kennedy
Text - Acts 4:13-15
"When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.
But since they could see the man who had been healed standing there with them, there was nothing they could say.
So they ordered them to withdraw from the Sanhedrin and then conferred together."
Topic - Back to the Basics (Living Extraordinary Lives) 

Sermon Notes:
1. God is going to take our ordinary selves and make them extraordinary.
2. The Word is the fundamental thing in spiritual living.
3. We have to learn the essentials to Christian Living in order to be effective in our Christian living.
4. This passage addresses the results of Acts Chapter 3.
(I feel like whooping right now, lol. I can also spot one of the buzzers from the bus yesterday seated a few seats on my right. The dude is dozing. SMH.)
5. God desires to live through us in an extraordinary way. And if we allow Him to, He'll separate us for extraordinary things. We are called for this.
6. Three things we need to understand about miracles or extraordinary things (while considering the beggar that was healed in Acts 3) are:
(a) They are extraordinary events that cause people to ask questions.
(b) Miracles can neither be contained nor covered up.
7. Extraordinary people are;
(a) Courageous
(He now shares his testimony on how he led 30 people to salvation at age 17)
(b) Vocal - be able to speak out
(c) Willing - willing to be sent forth to proclaim what He commands us to.
8. Only Christ will make me/us extraordinary. 

12.12pm
Again, from my observation, guys are plastic here - just like in most courtship stages of relationship. Looking too good, lifting hands without any significance... bla bla bla.

12.18pm
The General Superintendent (Rev/Dr Peter G W Njiri) is in the house. He's invited to great the assembly.
He says that it was part of his agenda for us to be here (at KAG EAST University) this year. He shares on how he's excited when he sees young people serving God, because he started serving Him at age 11.
He shares his vision for the university with us, and what God is doing amongst us.
We read Psalms 32:8 (I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.)
A few notes from his speech:-
1. We cannot go astray when we follow the instructions of the LORD and of our leaders.
2. Let's allow the Lord to be our teacher and He'll make a difference out of us.
3. If He guides us, we'll make it in life.
4. Have wisdom and understanding >> Psalms 32:9 "Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you."

1.00pm
Lunch break. 

1.40pm
My music is important. Can't do without it. Now playing The Dream (a 2014 album) - Sanctus Real. 

2.00pm
As I'm chilling here listening to this awesome Sanctus Real stuff, some kid out there is calling their parent: "Ile pesa ulinipatia ya pocket money imeisha". Lol, parents are really in their own kind of trouble. Pesa imeisha after 2 days? Hah! 

2.43pm
I don't feel like going back inside (to the hall). I mean, lunch should be two hours, yes? 

3.05pm
Sports time.
Lucky me.
Oooh, because I've become lazy after the food, lemme check out the hall for a little while...
Meaningless introductions is what I find: you know those ninjas who begin their introduction with "God is good, all the time... And all the time, God is good..."? Those ones? They are here making introductions.
Campus officials introductions. You can guess what they are saying (you've heard it all the time) so I don't have to tell you.
I've learned that the tagline of this campus is "A UNIVERSITY OF TRANSFORMATION" though.
There is a tiny marketing strategy in their speeches. A good one also.
Then there is a Magazine (Christian Times) published every month which we need to buy if interested. 

Administration block

3.24pm
Talk. Talk. And more talk.
What is "being digital"? We are asked.
Then one Mr. Muturi (I think I got the name right) is invited.
He starts by blabbering about his numerous successes and his magnificent profile so that we may know that he ain't a nahbody...
(Oooh well... You talk. We will listen.)

Here's what he says:
1. "Going digital" is all about bringing the Church to the market place.
2. The church is called to guide the world in the market place.
3. The best working and stable companies in the world are not owned by the government but by families. Adam failed in managing his family thus his failure was greater.
(I'm now feeling that this guy is talking about stuff only about 40% of the audience is interested in. Hecklers around me are already saying that he's lying. Lol.)
4. The Church in Kenya is going to have its own cyberspace which will become an owned platform by which it delivers its message in the current generation. It is called the Church Blaze (he, with a team of others created this platform.)

Characteristics of Church Blaze:
(a) It is a social platform
(b) It censors all obscene language
(c) It acts as a communication tool amongst brethren all over the world: pastor-member-pastor.
(d) Made to guide/lead the world in the cyberspace.
(e) Completely owned by the church.
(f) It has an e-commerce platform that is also global.
(Some weaves I'm seeing here tho... The one I've spotted makes the lady look like a gorilla - no pun intended, ladies)
Individuals and churches can join the network via:
Website: www.churchblaze.com or
www.blazebay.com
Phone: 0701-899-251
Or download the Android app: Church Blaze from the Play Store. 

4.15pm
Official sports time. I had wanted to watch this but the place is kilometers away. I ain't going nowhere. Probably tomorrow. 

5.00pm
Kids are buying newspapers, lol. What do they need newspapers for, really? Kids?
And in this free time I'm now thinking: "Hey, why do people always post on social media to tell us of their breakups na huwa hawatuambii wakikatiana?"
Okay, it's none of my business. 

5.30pm
Now browsing through those offline articles from Engadget, news24Kenya and Drippler: a boy's gotta know what's going on in the world, man. 

7.00pm
I'm now what I call "a victim of placement": where you don't know what to do with the lots of time you now have when you are at a different place separate from the usual.
Also, there are incidences that have occurred here that concern food. I won't write about that. Man, food is such a delicate issue... No wonder it was the first and most consequential sin... 

8.44pm
There are relationship thirsty teens all over the place. And did I just smell ile mafuta inaitwa Dipak? Oh my! 

8.50pm
Presentations time, it is. Good ones. Fake ones. Blunt ones. Juicy ones. Tasteless ones. Funny ones.
(The Dipak girls just passed by.)
Some people give their presentation, and they leave you like; "so who told you that you can sing? Your small bruh?"
It seems my guy just got himself a chiq. *Switches on my wait-and-see mode*
This place is full of counterfeits and wannabes. SMH. I guess it is typical of young people, right? 

9.00pm
Bible challenge.
15 districts are competing today, then there will be another 15 for tomorrow. Then it gets boring because they are asking those obvious questions. Questions like: "And He went to Lake Galilee, and saw them fishing, and told them, 'Follow me, for I will make you _____________'". You don't ask me such questions! They aren't challenging me, and if they are not, I'm leaving. So I go to sleep. (Yeah, say whatever you want, but that's how I roll.) 

10.45pm
I'm out. 

Bonface Morris.

Live Blogs: K.A.G. Annual National Youth Conference 2015, Day 1

Tuesday, 21st April, 2015 (Day 1)

Let's just say that today is the D-day. We're moving to Kitengela (Kajiado County) for the Kenya Assemblies of God National Youth Conference. The conference will last until Friday this week.
From this day onwards, I'm writing down stuff happening to me and around me in real time...

5.00am - 8.00am
I'm up early. I mean, if I'm up by 5.00am, boy that's way too early. 2 hours early from the normal me.
I'm at the allocated place by 8.00am. Waiting for the bus. We wait till 12pm. These guys have been telling us that they're "around the corner" for way too long. 

12.00pm
It should be epic. Yes, it should be. (And yeah, I just used that word, haha.) Thanks to a few things:
We're in a bus with weird people. They are the kind of people who sing to every song on the bus stereo. Attention freaks. Dang. Weird attention freaks. But let's see what will culminate.
I love traveling except for traveling in a noisy bus. But I'll tolerate it. These two guys on my left side (yeah, bad thing is I didn't get to have a chair next to a window) keep on buzzing in my left ear. Question is can't some people just keep quiet?

The bus

12.30pm
The driver, forgetting that he's in the company of Bible thumbers, puts on Lady Jaydee's song on the bus stereo (I don't know which one but I'm sure it's her voice.) One of the two ninjas - I'll be calling them buzzers from now onwards - stands up to dance. My bad. He's told to sit down but begs to continue dancing saying, "Do not judge". Hah.

12.47pm
The driver is rude. He doesn't turn down the volume even after I've pleaded with him twice. The guy on my left joins the buzzers in their hysteria.

Inside the bus

1.00pm
I'm dozing. I think I'm hungry. The five slices of bread I had in the morning have vanished. Just like that. But lemme lenga it for a while.

1.30pm
I miss them days when I used to charge my phone once in a week. Remember them Nokia 1-somethings of mid-2000s? *Sigh* My phone charge is 78%. (I bet DU Battery Saver Pro is just some type of battery saving hoax... If you are an Android ninja/ninjerette, you know that we have a couple of those.)
The quiet ones in this bus are still as quiet as ever. The noisy ones are shutting up. (Yeah, I knew they will. Eventually.)
I've just spotted a guy with a wedding ring far bigger than his finger. It is hanging on his finger like a necklace. Lol, I'm done here.

2.00pm
Buzzers are asleep. And there's this guy trying to get the actual number of people in the bus - the guy with a white button on a black shirt. Then there's this shop called "Highway Saloon" outside. Saloon? Okay, I think it's the hunger speaking now.

2.13pm
 It seems we have ghost people on the bus. It has a capacity of 50 people but it seems we now have around 54 on board. 4 are unaccounted for. Kenyans!!
Of course it is a hired bus, but there are 4 ghost people. Hah... And they'll never be verified.

2.38pm
Just looking at that inverted writing on the windscreen "SCHOOL BUS" bores me.

3.00pm
Buzzers are back.

3.14pm
Suburbs are full of these churches where a big banner with the pastor, his wife and the name of the ministry are huddled somewhere at the front. I spot one of those on the way.

3.25pm
I've just remembered that a certain High Schooler had texted me an hour ago and I forgot to reply. The bad thing is that texting and an empty stomach don't go together. And considering the rate at which these kids text nowadays, I think I did myself some good by hanging up.
Some song by one of these Kenyan musician pastors is now playing on the stereo - a very common repetitive song.

3.50pm
Some guy comes to chat me up. (The one with a white button in the middle of his black shirt). No dude, I can't talk. I'm in some sort of nodding mode. And, as usual, smiling will make me friendly. I'll seem like I'm listening and that I'm interested.

4.04pm
One of the buzzers (the one who just ate guavas) is now sharing with the white buttoned guy (who I've now learned is called Boaz) on doctrinal controversies amongst Kenyan preachers. I'm still maintaining my stare-watch-nod-smile-and-see mode. My butt is hurting. I'm shifting kiujanja on my seat so that nobody notices my quest for comfort.

4.12pm
I'm now surviving on 2G internet. 59% battery. One of the buzzers is now preaching. Seriously preaching to US. Lol. He's stopped by being given some piece of chapati. Silence. Eating. Silence. Talk between eating. (Repeat.)

4.30pm
The preaching is back on. Everyone on the bus is now alert and listening to these guys. It is raining outside. And, oh, the buzzer is a pastor. (Or so it seems). You should listen to these guys now arguing about pastors' salaries!! They've even made me forget that I'm hungry.

Buzzer-preacher

4.51pm
Someone now requests that we give some offering because the "preaching" from the buzzer-preacher has been powerful and inspiring. Kenyans!!

5.05pm
The bus pulls to the side of the road. Yeah, we needed a break. I'm able to take a few photos of the bus (I had forgotten to do it before departure). And thanks to MAPS.ME Offline Maps (yeah, Android is this cool), I realize that we are still a number of kilometers shy of Nakuru. This is one of those places where a 3G signal is like gold and because my phone ain't rooted, I can't use a signal booster. Oh well...

5.20pm
There's a Chinese phone on board. I just heard that "excuse me darling, you have a text message" ringtone.

5.37pm
These are those moments you start questioning yourself: "Did I lock the door before I left!?" "Do I have enough money on my M-PESA account...!?" bla bla bla. Also, these are those moments you elevate mobile banking. You begin knowing that mobile banking is for travellers, and not ninjas like me who sleep under the same blanket every night for almost a whole year.
And here is someone stepping on my shoes every few minutes. Like seriously? Don't step on my shoes!!

5.37pm
This guy's Mama Kanisa just called him (the guy on my right) and they seem not to understand each other.

6.24pm
A raw avocado just dropped from the same guy's bag. Hah.

6.32pm
We're in Nakuru town. I'm also thinking about a lady and a guy I know right here in this bus. They both are "ripe" for marriage. I'm thinking can matchmake them or something, haha... I mean, this guy is a bit shy. The lady too is the introverted type. Mmmmh, maybe I can pray for both - that they may have the courage to talk... Let's wait and see...
Kuna kajam hapa hivi kwa hii town.
 

7.08pm
Tryna get a place to eat in Nakuru. Guys are heated up. Food is a dangerous thing when young people need it kinda NOW. Dangerously good. We all love blaming Esau for acting so cheap with his brother's soup, yet I know many occasions when we can beat him at his own game.
I end up eating a fake kebab (yeah, it is something close to mutura rolled in eggs then deep fried) and fries. They sale soft drinks here as if they are cocktailed in Jesus' wine at Cana. But I buy one. I have to.

8.08pm
Heading to Nairobi. 28% battery. I'm now thinking of watching one episode of The Blacklist, but with 28% battery? Naaah.

8.20pm
It is dark, and after eating, even the buzzers are asleep. With the way our driver is behaving, (driving at 40km/h), tutafika Kitengela kesho. 

22.37pm
I think I've been dozing upto now. But somewhere my slumber, people sang and someone preached. People are singing. I mean, there are two things people do when they don't know what to do: sing or sleep. But this preacher-buzzer is notorious... Who speaks for this long?

23.00pm
You appreciate your phone maps quite well when you're a traveler. Say measuring distance to your destination right in the bus. Mombasa Road is where we are. Our destination is close.

23.23pm
In Kitengela town.

23.48pm
We're here!!!
This place is super awesoooome!!
7% battery. That means no photos for now...

KAG University at night

1.00am
Bedtime.

Let's meet tomorrow, guys.

For #KAGNYC2015 #NYC2015

Bonface Morris.