Argument is not that easy. It is even harder when there is a lot of disagreement. Although relativism concludes that absoluteness of fact is not achievable, and there is only a ‘most probable truth’, there is no way conclusions can exist unless we agree to one code of operation. Even absolute terms in a fact (what we love calling ‘the dogma’), has to face argument for it to qualify (at least for those supporting it) to be Truth in its infallibility.
World philosophies have upped their game of dialectics. Philosophy has become the common food of the intellectual person. It has put the entire globe on the edge of intellectual anticipation and value systems that are warping towards it. Malcolm Muggarage (one of my favorites) writes and says, “We have educated ourselves into imbecility”. I think that’s why our parents fear that we should go to school and ‘read too much’; and it may be the reason for such a verse as Ecclesiastes 12:12, NET BIBLE
(Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them. There is no end to the making of many books, and much study is exhausting to the body).
But men should argue. They should reason. They should argue and reason constructively. Even God reasons… (Isaiah 1:18, NKJV, “...Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD...”). Men and God reason because by reasoning, the mind’s explosive capabilities are either intuitively or exponentially run into… We can say that reason helps in the dialysis of facts. Reason is the best way to abstractly define or defend a belief. It may not be the only way, but by it the values, likes and dislikes of an oral being are thoroughly explored. It helps us define assumptions, state fears, make our inventions understood and… just talk. It may bring strife but that is what communication always breeds – a war or a peace… So, although all men have the freedom of opinion and the right to reasoning, we just have as less freedom to choose the subjects of those opinions (or reasons if to say) as we have on the decisions that are the aftermath of the same – mainly searching through the recipients and gaging their ability to see through each opinion or reason...
I’ll make it simpler for you…
Atheists have their own opinion on the existence of God. They say there is no God. Strong as it may seem, it is their choice. It is their dogma. Their opium of the mind. They believe that in saying so, many can believe in their opinion. They believe that you should believe them and later believe in them because they believe in nothing… And that the nothing they believe IN is the ultimate cause of all belief and thus should be the object of every other belief… including yours and mine…. And there are many more who believe in humanism, naturalism, existentialism, realism... the list of modern philosophies is endless…
Basically (and for the sake of this post) I will slightly address the belief held by Gnostics. Don’t be scared of the many stupid titles here and there… it is philosophy anyway…
The gnostics believe that a person cannot have true knowledge about the existence of God; and that although they acknowledge there being a God, they don’t deny the possibility of His non-existence... To them, God’s existence is not a problem, the problem is them believing that He can become flesh and still be God… They believe that God eternally exists only as a spirit and can never be flesh; and that Jesus was not a man at all but a man-God… bla, bla, bla… It is here where I find a problem with negative philosophy and the Gnostic culture. Ouch! I’ll have to run through the basics of this negative philosophy some other time…
But on the other side of the philosophical-and-spiritual debate, the Apostle John (that great teacher who with strong statements defends the course of his belief in Christ – his Lord, cousin and best friend – says that He saw and TOUCHED HIM [which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched – 1 John 1:1] and that [the Word became flesh… John 1:14]) has words to speak about and against Gnostism and all its branches…
The apostle John cooks us through a momentum of mind stirring battles between Truth and a philosophy of his day (which by the way was not called Gnostism then). He openly displays the fallacy that many Gregorian (and together with Jewish) believers had fallen into due to the love of philosophy as opposed to the love of Truth. That’s why you hear him mention truth in both contexts of the scripture quoted above (if you read the whole text)…
And as Christians, we are tempted to improvise Christianity in order to run in line with modernization. We are tempted to topple Christianity into the communization that is globalism. Do you ever wonder where such religions as Mormonism, New Age and Scientology came from? It was out of desire to make Christianity a globally acceptable religion; a desire to conquer over the scam that are the wrangles between Christianity and its immediate environment anywhere…
We find out that maybe through reasoning, we will define to them (the world and the philosophies therein) why we think they should acknowledge the presence of a supernatural power that eternally exists and eternally controls the universe. Gnostics (even from the time of John the Apostle) believe Christ was not fully human, and that He was a spirit being with a body-like form that was not corruptible... and that we mortals are not capable of reaching that perfection in our ‘weakness’... but the basis of reasoning or argument will be as a tool that will enable is to reach a consensus with them. That consensus will not be by compromise but just like John, through exposing Truth. Truth and only Truth will define to them who Christ really is and what He really desires of them… We as independent Christians choose not to accept others’ views on certain matters concerning belief just as we choose to say, ‘Yes’. Having good reason (and good in this case is not relative) is a keystone factor.
C. S. Lewis in Mere Christianity talks about The Law of Human Nature. He says that his arguments are not a platform for promoting one denomination within Christianity over another but rather an aid to assist in making rightful choices. And the act of making rightful choices he says, in his introduction, is like a hall where we all enter and ‘reason within ourselves’ as to which door to knock and later open…
Just like we reason over facts with men, let us reason over Truth with God and men… so that as many as there are in world philosophies, so should there be in the Truth of God…
Sincerely,
Morris.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Has "Modern Worship" Become Corrupt?
This article was used with permission from Kim Gentes (www.kimgentes.com)
Have We Lost The Heart of Modern Worship, Are Things as Pure as They Once Where? or Has "Modern Worship" Become Corrupt?
In the early days of praise and worship growing up in the church, it was popular for "defenders of the faith" (those who preferred the established style of music at the time) to attack the new style because they said it lacked substance, and pandered to the culture. Over the years, this criticism actually helped make modern worship songs become better theological representations of Christian teaching. The arguments about style eventually waned and died when clear-headed adults realized that musical style has almost no relevance in a theological instrument. "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord", at least that is what David said. What was David's point? Simply this- no matter the instrument, the sound, the form or even person, the call remains the same "praise the Lord". Simply review Psalms 148-150 and you begin to see that God is calling us to praise Him regardless of our place in life (Psalm 148:11,12), regardless of the art form (dance or music - Psalm 149:3), regardless of the instrument (Psalm 149:3-5), even regardless of whether you are a human, angelic being or just a part of creation (Psalm 148:1-12). So while the "worship wars" may have happened in our churches for the last 30 years, it became obvious that David probably had won the argument about format a good 3000 years before we started discussing it in the 20th century- Let everything that has breathe praise the Lord!
But no sooner had the "old" vs "new" fight subsided, than we began to hear rumblings about the "corruption" of modern worship. After 30 years of infancy, its growth into adolescence was met by some amount of disdain by a good group of its progenitors. The original "guard" that was around when praise and worship burst on the church was now becoming vocal about the ongoing change that continued to propel the stylistic growth of the music. But more than just that, there was a "we told you so" attitude developing that began to expound the idea that the community of practitioners was now becoming enamored with the commercialization of the musical genre that had grown up around the music. In other words you could hear this said in a thousand different ways from some people- "this modern worship isn't as pure and humble as the original stuff". Also there is the idea that "worship leaders are just trying to become artists with record deals".
You could tack on a hundred variations to those two previous statements, but most often they boil down to those ideas.
So, let's talk about it. Is "modern worship" corrupt?
I'll answer that with another question. Is Christianity corrupt?
I think the truth is that you have to say both no and yes. For the most part, honest followers of Jesus are not bent on corruption of their faith or others. Also within the community of honest followers of Jesus, there are those who are (to varying degrees) corrupted by painful, sad choices and poor character. And finally, there are those who are actually apostates- people who willfully seek false doctrines for their own selfish motivations. Christians- the community of those who declare themselves to be honest followers of Jesus- I believe are not largely corrupt. They are instead, redeemed, and indeed, being more redeemed as they apply their lives to His guidance and instruction. Yet, they are still humans living on earth and are subject to brokenness. So there will always (until He returns) be a schismed vision of the Body of Christ- one which portrays a Bride to which Christ will return. And yet still, one that is in need of His continuing and ongoing work of purification, renewal and mercy. We are redeemed, but in daily need of a tethered existence to His faithful mercy for our lives.
So if this is the place we find ourselves with our existence as a Christian community, what can we say about "modern worship"?
Personally, I don't think "modern worship" is any more tragically perverted than anything else in "Christiandom". And the same arguments that I applied above apply to those involved in worship ministry today. On the whole, I believe we have a worship community within Christiandom that is sincerely devoted to Christ and seeks Godly goals in their work within the community of bringing forth praise and worship.
Often times I hear people getting negative as though they are hoping for some "good old days" of worship. It seems people love to jump on the bandwagon of bashing worship these days because they perceive its gone so commercial. Is there a misconception and excess now that has grown up with the creation of an "industry"? Sure there is! But frankly, that has existed in Christian preaching and leadership for years. The same is true of CCM (contemporary Christian music), television personalities, and healing/deliverance ministries. Did we throw them out as wholly "abhorrent"? No! Instead, we learned to weed out the good from bad.
To me, it comes down to each person, each church, each song and each worshiper. As we talk, look, listen and encounter them one at a time, we find a whole different story. When I look at each person and situation, and stop generalizing, and talk to individuals and churches (or investigate specific songs), I find something surprising. The devotion, the heart, the desire and the humility far outweigh the excess. And the devotional pulse of the local congregations is more, not less, participative in the gathered worship times than it has been in decades. Only 30 years ago the gathered church sang songs that almost NEVER spoke intimately with God, now its normative. Wow. That alone is a significant change.
Is it perfect? Is it the ultimate? By no means. Do we need more authenticity and more foundational return to cultivating Biblical consistency mixed with relevant language in our song vocabulary? Absolutely! Can we keep working on humbly following God in all this, without mixed agendas? No doubt.
Should we worry about our young leaders pursuing "music careers" because an industry has grown up around "worship" that has provided a few people with occupations? How sad if we fixate on that.
First, as far as an "industry", we don't have to worry there. The Christian (and worship) music "industry" is practically vaporised. Today, whether you have a real ministry from God in worship, or an imagined one from vanity, your chances of "making it" are about 0.000833%. Seriously. Because of the 120 million people who claim to be Christians in the US (and that is being very generous, since we know that many people don't actually go to church!), only a few hundred of those actually make their living as bonafide, full-time, Christian musicians and artists who work in the "music industry". The point is this- the industry is not just small, it is minuscule. Additionally, it is shrinking at an alarming rate in due no small part to the collapse of the commercial music model at the hands of the internet age. No one is making a living in music these days unless they are providing something real-- like the ability to actually perform live music, a gifting to truly minister in a local church, a heart to genuinely care for people. For all intents and purposes, selling "product" is dead. CDs don't sell, and only 1 in 20 downloads of music are legal. Illegal stealing of music (Christians included) has destroyed the music industry. What remains are simply people and God's gifts on them. If that is not a return to reality I don't know what is.
Should we teach young leaders to not fixate and seek a musical career of "glory" at the expense of a contrite devotional heart? Obviously we should teach them. But to judge "modern worship" as corrupt is as short sighted as the praise and worship naysayers 30 years ago because it lays on the heads of every Christian, musician and worshiper a judgement that really only applies to a very, very small minority of hurting people who are looking inappropriately to follow a misguided sense of ministry by relying on a worship industry to make them famous as they "serve God".
Is there a place for talented young musicians, writers and leaders? Yes there is! Because while there are a tiny number of "jobs" in the Christian music industry, there are literally tens of thousands of jobs for good musicians, leaders and songwriters. "Where?", you ask. We call them music ministers, worship leaders and choir directors. They are needed and employable in a place called the local church. Should their gifting and exceptional songwriting prove encouraging to their local church, other churches may benefit from it. Should other churches be built up by it and tell others, then eventually that gifting may open up invitation and opportunity for that person to minister in an ever widening scope of local churches. At some point that gifting will carry that person into an industry where they may, for a time, bless an entire nation through God's blessing on their lives in music. Do we look down on the ones who come and go through an "industry" because it suits our need to criticize? Or do we disdain them because it wasn't us? Are there some that have tainted motives? Do we have tainted motives? I think we all know that there will always be something of a mixture in anything we seek to do that is virtuous. But as we surrender to God, He is faithful and just to work on our hearts in it all.
And while we will do well to surrender our hearts to his cleansing, purifying work of the Holy Spirit, why don't we also trust that He will do His work in the hearts of those others we are concerned about, who happen to be the current artists, worship leaders and songwriters of "modern worship"?
Perhaps the challenge is all of ours then, to be open hearts instead of pointing fingers.
Used with permission from Kim Anthony Gentes, a worship leader, songwriter, recording artist and freelance writer (C)Copyright 2009 Kim Anthony Gentes, Website: www.kimgentes.com.
Sincerely,
Morris.
Have We Lost The Heart of Modern Worship, Are Things as Pure as They Once Where? or Has "Modern Worship" Become Corrupt?
In the early days of praise and worship growing up in the church, it was popular for "defenders of the faith" (those who preferred the established style of music at the time) to attack the new style because they said it lacked substance, and pandered to the culture. Over the years, this criticism actually helped make modern worship songs become better theological representations of Christian teaching. The arguments about style eventually waned and died when clear-headed adults realized that musical style has almost no relevance in a theological instrument. "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord", at least that is what David said. What was David's point? Simply this- no matter the instrument, the sound, the form or even person, the call remains the same "praise the Lord". Simply review Psalms 148-150 and you begin to see that God is calling us to praise Him regardless of our place in life (Psalm 148:11,12), regardless of the art form (dance or music - Psalm 149:3), regardless of the instrument (Psalm 149:3-5), even regardless of whether you are a human, angelic being or just a part of creation (Psalm 148:1-12). So while the "worship wars" may have happened in our churches for the last 30 years, it became obvious that David probably had won the argument about format a good 3000 years before we started discussing it in the 20th century- Let everything that has breathe praise the Lord!
But no sooner had the "old" vs "new" fight subsided, than we began to hear rumblings about the "corruption" of modern worship. After 30 years of infancy, its growth into adolescence was met by some amount of disdain by a good group of its progenitors. The original "guard" that was around when praise and worship burst on the church was now becoming vocal about the ongoing change that continued to propel the stylistic growth of the music. But more than just that, there was a "we told you so" attitude developing that began to expound the idea that the community of practitioners was now becoming enamored with the commercialization of the musical genre that had grown up around the music. In other words you could hear this said in a thousand different ways from some people- "this modern worship isn't as pure and humble as the original stuff". Also there is the idea that "worship leaders are just trying to become artists with record deals".
You could tack on a hundred variations to those two previous statements, but most often they boil down to those ideas.
So, let's talk about it. Is "modern worship" corrupt?
I'll answer that with another question. Is Christianity corrupt?
I think the truth is that you have to say both no and yes. For the most part, honest followers of Jesus are not bent on corruption of their faith or others. Also within the community of honest followers of Jesus, there are those who are (to varying degrees) corrupted by painful, sad choices and poor character. And finally, there are those who are actually apostates- people who willfully seek false doctrines for their own selfish motivations. Christians- the community of those who declare themselves to be honest followers of Jesus- I believe are not largely corrupt. They are instead, redeemed, and indeed, being more redeemed as they apply their lives to His guidance and instruction. Yet, they are still humans living on earth and are subject to brokenness. So there will always (until He returns) be a schismed vision of the Body of Christ- one which portrays a Bride to which Christ will return. And yet still, one that is in need of His continuing and ongoing work of purification, renewal and mercy. We are redeemed, but in daily need of a tethered existence to His faithful mercy for our lives.
So if this is the place we find ourselves with our existence as a Christian community, what can we say about "modern worship"?
Personally, I don't think "modern worship" is any more tragically perverted than anything else in "Christiandom". And the same arguments that I applied above apply to those involved in worship ministry today. On the whole, I believe we have a worship community within Christiandom that is sincerely devoted to Christ and seeks Godly goals in their work within the community of bringing forth praise and worship.
Often times I hear people getting negative as though they are hoping for some "good old days" of worship. It seems people love to jump on the bandwagon of bashing worship these days because they perceive its gone so commercial. Is there a misconception and excess now that has grown up with the creation of an "industry"? Sure there is! But frankly, that has existed in Christian preaching and leadership for years. The same is true of CCM (contemporary Christian music), television personalities, and healing/deliverance ministries. Did we throw them out as wholly "abhorrent"? No! Instead, we learned to weed out the good from bad.
To me, it comes down to each person, each church, each song and each worshiper. As we talk, look, listen and encounter them one at a time, we find a whole different story. When I look at each person and situation, and stop generalizing, and talk to individuals and churches (or investigate specific songs), I find something surprising. The devotion, the heart, the desire and the humility far outweigh the excess. And the devotional pulse of the local congregations is more, not less, participative in the gathered worship times than it has been in decades. Only 30 years ago the gathered church sang songs that almost NEVER spoke intimately with God, now its normative. Wow. That alone is a significant change.
Is it perfect? Is it the ultimate? By no means. Do we need more authenticity and more foundational return to cultivating Biblical consistency mixed with relevant language in our song vocabulary? Absolutely! Can we keep working on humbly following God in all this, without mixed agendas? No doubt.
Should we worry about our young leaders pursuing "music careers" because an industry has grown up around "worship" that has provided a few people with occupations? How sad if we fixate on that.
First, as far as an "industry", we don't have to worry there. The Christian (and worship) music "industry" is practically vaporised. Today, whether you have a real ministry from God in worship, or an imagined one from vanity, your chances of "making it" are about 0.000833%. Seriously. Because of the 120 million people who claim to be Christians in the US (and that is being very generous, since we know that many people don't actually go to church!), only a few hundred of those actually make their living as bonafide, full-time, Christian musicians and artists who work in the "music industry". The point is this- the industry is not just small, it is minuscule. Additionally, it is shrinking at an alarming rate in due no small part to the collapse of the commercial music model at the hands of the internet age. No one is making a living in music these days unless they are providing something real-- like the ability to actually perform live music, a gifting to truly minister in a local church, a heart to genuinely care for people. For all intents and purposes, selling "product" is dead. CDs don't sell, and only 1 in 20 downloads of music are legal. Illegal stealing of music (Christians included) has destroyed the music industry. What remains are simply people and God's gifts on them. If that is not a return to reality I don't know what is.
Should we teach young leaders to not fixate and seek a musical career of "glory" at the expense of a contrite devotional heart? Obviously we should teach them. But to judge "modern worship" as corrupt is as short sighted as the praise and worship naysayers 30 years ago because it lays on the heads of every Christian, musician and worshiper a judgement that really only applies to a very, very small minority of hurting people who are looking inappropriately to follow a misguided sense of ministry by relying on a worship industry to make them famous as they "serve God".
Is there a place for talented young musicians, writers and leaders? Yes there is! Because while there are a tiny number of "jobs" in the Christian music industry, there are literally tens of thousands of jobs for good musicians, leaders and songwriters. "Where?", you ask. We call them music ministers, worship leaders and choir directors. They are needed and employable in a place called the local church. Should their gifting and exceptional songwriting prove encouraging to their local church, other churches may benefit from it. Should other churches be built up by it and tell others, then eventually that gifting may open up invitation and opportunity for that person to minister in an ever widening scope of local churches. At some point that gifting will carry that person into an industry where they may, for a time, bless an entire nation through God's blessing on their lives in music. Do we look down on the ones who come and go through an "industry" because it suits our need to criticize? Or do we disdain them because it wasn't us? Are there some that have tainted motives? Do we have tainted motives? I think we all know that there will always be something of a mixture in anything we seek to do that is virtuous. But as we surrender to God, He is faithful and just to work on our hearts in it all.
And while we will do well to surrender our hearts to his cleansing, purifying work of the Holy Spirit, why don't we also trust that He will do His work in the hearts of those others we are concerned about, who happen to be the current artists, worship leaders and songwriters of "modern worship"?
Perhaps the challenge is all of ours then, to be open hearts instead of pointing fingers.
Used with permission from Kim Anthony Gentes, a worship leader, songwriter, recording artist and freelance writer (C)Copyright 2009 Kim Anthony Gentes, Website: www.kimgentes.com.
Sincerely,
Morris.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
There She Stands
I dare look at her,
She dares to look into my eyes,
I dare dance to the song of her presence,
To the sound of her image in the realms of my eyes,
There she stands - like she needs a lullaby to sooth her into the night;
There she stands,
I dare touch her skin,
And the carving of her chin,
I dare look at her big eyes, like doves in the airs of my privacy,
I hold my breath because she almost takes it away,
As she stands there, she almost breaks and pounds me into human pie;
From afar I can smell her skin,
Her fragrance is the power of hypnosis,
It is the aroma of love – of something words can’t describe,
I’ve told her this before but she coiled in disbelief - like it was word-frying,
But her lovely hands, and her voice, and her just standing there,
Kills the strengths out of me – it drains me of my many words,
Her standing there is a commotion of thoughts within my mind...;
There she stands,
Like she wanna move,
And like she don’t wanna move anymore,
Like she wanna trace my every feeling and laugh it off,
And like she gonna conquer my every world, my every peace...
And I’m staring at her,
Her picture sticking in my mind,
First slowly, then vividly, then rapidly...
She is more than a piece of art?!
She is more than a masterpiece – she yields one like herself!
As she stands, I forget my words around,
I look, I search for them furiously,
And I wanna get up and talk,
But with bold sweetness,
And with stillness,
Sing them,
Silently...
I whisper myself into her ears,
Into the ears of her heart,
Into her world,
Singing them,
Silently...
NB: I know you are reading this. These words are for you...
Sincerely,
Morris.
She dares to look into my eyes,
I dare dance to the song of her presence,
To the sound of her image in the realms of my eyes,
There she stands - like she needs a lullaby to sooth her into the night;
There she stands,
I dare touch her skin,
And the carving of her chin,
I dare look at her big eyes, like doves in the airs of my privacy,
I hold my breath because she almost takes it away,
As she stands there, she almost breaks and pounds me into human pie;
From afar I can smell her skin,
Her fragrance is the power of hypnosis,
It is the aroma of love – of something words can’t describe,
I’ve told her this before but she coiled in disbelief - like it was word-frying,
But her lovely hands, and her voice, and her just standing there,
Kills the strengths out of me – it drains me of my many words,
Her standing there is a commotion of thoughts within my mind...;
There she stands,
Like she wanna move,
And like she don’t wanna move anymore,
Like she wanna trace my every feeling and laugh it off,
And like she gonna conquer my every world, my every peace...
And I’m staring at her,
Her picture sticking in my mind,
First slowly, then vividly, then rapidly...
She is more than a piece of art?!
She is more than a masterpiece – she yields one like herself!
As she stands, I forget my words around,
I look, I search for them furiously,
And I wanna get up and talk,
But with bold sweetness,
And with stillness,
Sing them,
Silently...
I whisper myself into her ears,
Into the ears of her heart,
Into her world,
Singing them,
Silently...
NB: I know you are reading this. These words are for you...
Sincerely,
Morris.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Dear Mama... I Love You
I just added one more year to those I already have the other day,
And I couldn’t help imagining how much it has cost you caring for me to this day,
I couldn’t imagine the best gift to give to you except a moment of gratitude,
And passages that express my heart – passages that show just how much I appreciate...
I know I have grown older now
I know I am no longer that boy of yours
That small boy who used to weep as you wipe his tears
Yeah, that boy who used to do the stupid things you always forgave...
I have grown to know the world a little bit more
And I have grown to know that what I’m writing is what I feel
I have grown to know how to express my fears, my feelings and my desires
But no longer to you but to God and some other very close friend...
I have grown a little bit more mum, but I’m still that small boy you used to see years ago...
And I will tell of the story of your love for me...
You remember my filthy behaviours, don’t you?
You remember when Dad (I salute you old chap) used to chase me around, don’t you?
You remember when he spanked me for stealing and I would throw words at him, right?
You remember when I used to be the innocent thief, huh?
You remember when one day I run Dad through terrain and he fell down, and I rejoiced that he didn’t catch me, and I went off and slept elsewhere and left you worrying?
You remember when you went out looking for me but couldn’t find me, yet I was only 10?
You remember that my naughtiness got you worried all the time when I disappeared and told all my cousins not to tell you where I was?
I know you remember so many things
I know you remember when after school you told me to go to church and I locked myself in my room pretending not to want to talk to anyone,
I know you remember that I didn’t really love church that much in those days...
I know you remember when the landlord came and we had no money to pay him and he spoke to you words that got to me and I felt like I wanna...
I know you remember when I felt like I wanted to kill that dude who impregnated my beautiful sister, right?
But you tolerated me, you held me
When Dad said I won’t eat because of my thievery, you stole food for me
I could see how sorry you were right there in your eyes when I bathed cold water in the rains as Dad (not hard feelings old chap) watched me shiver
I saw how worried you were when I was told I won’t spend the night in the house because of my erroneous behaviours
I heard you pray for me early in the morning and late into the night...
I miss those moments when I could hear you mention each of my siblings’ names (plus that of papa) in prayer to God
I remember I was terrified that God would hear you and change me (because I somehow enjoyed who I was then)
I miss those moments when you would return from your long journeys and cook us our sweetest meals (you always seemed to understand what each one of us liked)
I miss those moments when I used to bring you the ugali cooking stick in the kitchen when the water was already boiling...
I miss those celebrations when your friends came around in the weekend
I remember the noise, the ululations, the food, the joy, the fervency
I remember the laughter, the earnestness, the speeches, the life...
I miss them...
Mum, you are one of a kind
Yeah mum, you are a woman of a kind
Some of these guys that are reading this letter don’t know you
They have never seen you or heard you talk
But I know you mum; and I know you are a woman of a kind...
And I’m gonna write to say that I love you
I love you because I know when I needed/need you most, you are present
I know you still care for me as much as you did when I was a child
That you wish I could grow small again so that you embrace me with fondness
But I have now grown up and I need to be the man you taught me to become...
God has taught me many more lessons in this life
Life itself has taught me so much – and I’m still learning
But I won’t forget the first lessons you taught me when I was still rebellious
Yeah, I won’t forget the lessons you taught me when I was still like, “Ta tat a ta”
Those were and still are extraordinary lessons
Thank you mum... I love you;
I know that as I am growing older, you too are growing older
But I pray that God will preserve you (and Dad) much more
I pray (just as you pray for each of us every day) that you may prosper
And that my kids will see their granny for many more days...
Mum, I love you...
Sincerely,
Your son Morris.
And I couldn’t help imagining how much it has cost you caring for me to this day,
I couldn’t imagine the best gift to give to you except a moment of gratitude,
And passages that express my heart – passages that show just how much I appreciate...
I know I have grown older now
I know I am no longer that boy of yours
That small boy who used to weep as you wipe his tears
Yeah, that boy who used to do the stupid things you always forgave...
I have grown to know the world a little bit more
And I have grown to know that what I’m writing is what I feel
I have grown to know how to express my fears, my feelings and my desires
But no longer to you but to God and some other very close friend...
I have grown a little bit more mum, but I’m still that small boy you used to see years ago...
And I will tell of the story of your love for me...
You remember my filthy behaviours, don’t you?
You remember when Dad (I salute you old chap) used to chase me around, don’t you?
You remember when he spanked me for stealing and I would throw words at him, right?
You remember when I used to be the innocent thief, huh?
You remember when one day I run Dad through terrain and he fell down, and I rejoiced that he didn’t catch me, and I went off and slept elsewhere and left you worrying?
You remember when you went out looking for me but couldn’t find me, yet I was only 10?
You remember that my naughtiness got you worried all the time when I disappeared and told all my cousins not to tell you where I was?
I know you remember so many things
I know you remember when after school you told me to go to church and I locked myself in my room pretending not to want to talk to anyone,
I know you remember that I didn’t really love church that much in those days...
I know you remember when the landlord came and we had no money to pay him and he spoke to you words that got to me and I felt like I wanna...
I know you remember when I felt like I wanted to kill that dude who impregnated my beautiful sister, right?
But you tolerated me, you held me
When Dad said I won’t eat because of my thievery, you stole food for me
I could see how sorry you were right there in your eyes when I bathed cold water in the rains as Dad (not hard feelings old chap) watched me shiver
I saw how worried you were when I was told I won’t spend the night in the house because of my erroneous behaviours
I heard you pray for me early in the morning and late into the night...
I miss those moments when I could hear you mention each of my siblings’ names (plus that of papa) in prayer to God
I remember I was terrified that God would hear you and change me (because I somehow enjoyed who I was then)
I miss those moments when you would return from your long journeys and cook us our sweetest meals (you always seemed to understand what each one of us liked)
I miss those moments when I used to bring you the ugali cooking stick in the kitchen when the water was already boiling...
I miss those celebrations when your friends came around in the weekend
I remember the noise, the ululations, the food, the joy, the fervency
I remember the laughter, the earnestness, the speeches, the life...
I miss them...
Mum, you are one of a kind
Yeah mum, you are a woman of a kind
Some of these guys that are reading this letter don’t know you
They have never seen you or heard you talk
But I know you mum; and I know you are a woman of a kind...
And I’m gonna write to say that I love you
I love you because I know when I needed/need you most, you are present
I know you still care for me as much as you did when I was a child
That you wish I could grow small again so that you embrace me with fondness
But I have now grown up and I need to be the man you taught me to become...
God has taught me many more lessons in this life
Life itself has taught me so much – and I’m still learning
But I won’t forget the first lessons you taught me when I was still rebellious
Yeah, I won’t forget the lessons you taught me when I was still like, “Ta tat a ta”
Those were and still are extraordinary lessons
Thank you mum... I love you;
I know that as I am growing older, you too are growing older
But I pray that God will preserve you (and Dad) much more
I pray (just as you pray for each of us every day) that you may prosper
And that my kids will see their granny for many more days...
Mum, I love you...
Sincerely,
Your son Morris.
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