A Boyfriend, a Girlfriend, Christ and Everything Else

Note: This is my third blog from a series of posts this year celebrating February as “the month of love”. You can read the first blog here: Relationships – Is Grass Always Greener On the Other Side? and the second one here: Relationships and Short Stories: Thirty Dates, One Truth

And, later, read the last blog in this series here: Rhetoric: Love Is...

A boyfriend, a girlfriend, Christ and everything else.

Common sense tells me that every relationship has expectations. That is what I have always known. I don't know about you, but I always think that everyone comes into a relationship expecting something from the other person. 

From what I have gathered, I have found it true that people in relationships may pretend and mutter that "I love you baby, that is all the matters" but after they have loved someone and gotten used to it, it always goes down to, "Baby, [if] you really love me, you should be doing this and that for me..." 

I haven't met any two people in a relationship whose lives have not gone down that path after a while. We all seem to end up somewhere on that avenue where we begin expecting stuff to be done to/for us. 

In most cases, these mutterings - these unearthing expectations - may come down to pettiness, but it happens. And I now have come to a conclusion that it is normal. If we are able to expect something from the loyalty animals offer us, I think someone in love expecting something from their beloved is not worth a downplay. It is normal.

There is something you also come to notice when looking at why/what two people in a relationship are expecting from each other: that the presesence of expectations also means that someone is demanding that the other should play a specific role or set of roles within the relationship. (Come on people, I hear marriages operate in the same way too.)

This set of roles lead to responsibilities which in turn become a sense or level of commitment one has towards the other person. The main problem is when these expectations either flare signs of too much neediness or want to throw in augmentations of manipulation. But mutual responsiveness to each other's needs is what I am saying is here to stay. Expecting certain acts from either side of a relationship is normal. 

I am saying this because even Jesus - the very epitome of love and how it should be done - expects something out of his bride, the Church. Now, I am not trying to say that our boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are equal to Christ and His Church. No. The only relationship that can be compared to that one (of Christ and the Church) is marriage (Matthew 25:1-13). But I am saying that His example is the best as far as expectations and relationships are concerned.

Now, when one is in love, it is likely that their minds would not want to imagine that there would be quarrels amongst two people (especially themselves) on why/how/when/what should be done or what should be expected. Some people come into relationships expecting nothing but love. It may be possible that they are imagining of not wanting anything more than a kiss or two and words of affirmation from the other person. That is okay. These are the first stages of love: being smitten to the extent of not wanting to think with your mind. (But even these "common" and "negligible" needs are still expectations). 

As relationships progress from one stage to another, needs arise. And as it always is, all needs always call for action. And any action taken after realizing a need is always a reaction to meet a given expectation (now justifiably masquerading as a need.) I am saying this because, right then, everyone starts demanding something from the other person. Everyone starts becoming "petty". (It is viewed as pettiness because it was not existing before. It was once vivid, but now it is real.) And there may crop accusations that people are not being "loved enough" anymore (I've talked about this before on this blog) because they are being denied certain "rights" or opinions to issues. When keen observations are made, you will find out that what each party is now demanding for from the other party are solid "rights" and this concisely escalates into blunt expressions of disgust and contempt when these expectations are not met.

This is what now happens: people start expecting to be texted a little more than before, they start expecting to be called at certain times, to be supported, to be shown acts of love, to be valued, to be respected, to be given/shown attention, to be bought gifts, to be serenaded and to be pumped up with all forms of affection. 

It becomes a certain weird arena of demands and fights. A muddle of bad blood and stale emotions. 

I realized this sometime back after young people my age started asking questions in the following forms; 

• But we are [just] dating!! Why should he/she make such demands of me? 

• Can we kiss? He/she wants us to kiss!! Why is he/she tempting me to such an extend?!! 

• He demands to touch me, or caress me, or fondle, or for us to hold hands inappropriately. I can't bear with that!! He makes me so uncomfortable!!!

• Should we hug for that long? She says it makes her feel better but it makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel bad about myself. 

• He/she is demanding for gifts and a date every week. Can I even manage that?!!

• He/she is demanding that I visit them every weekend... I think this is too much!! Can't I even have time [just] for myself!!? 

And so forth and so on. 

I know that after reading the above questions - and I promise that this is just the tip of the whole mountain - some of you are now retorting: "Aaaah, stupid and childish games!" and I'm here to unhesitatingly tell you that "You should know people!", and, "Yes, every Christian relationship has it's own slide of pettiness and they are mostly overcrowded with aimless spiritual connotations. Deal with them as they come."

While at it, have you ever imagined that as far much as we expect "things" from our baes and it seems [just] alright, Jesus is also expecting a whole lot of things from our relationships? 

Wait-a-minute, is He? 
Yes, He is. 

That is what I am here to talk about; not our demands from our bae's (which we have already declared normal) but Jesus' expectations of us in our relationships. 

If we claim to belong to Him and our claims are not mere fallacies, then He has every right to demand a few things from us and our relationships in the same way we demand the same of others. 

Who said that Jesus doesn't care about our relationships and everything surrounding them? Well, if you think or thought so, why would He die to save the very hearts that we are using to love our baes? Isn't it because He cares about hearts and what takes place in them? These hearts can't be useless to Him who died for them. The same heart that loves Jesus is the same heart that throbs for my girlfriend. I bet you me that Jesus cares a lot about what happens in these hearts. (And, by the way, a heart that refuses to love Jesus wholly will also fail at loving other human beings wholly.)  

Because He cares about our hearts and relationships, here are a few things I've discovered He expects from us:

First, from all people in relationships, He expects that; 

1. We will maintain purity. Purity not only of the body but also of the heart and of the mind. Having sex isn't the only problem here, but that we as a whole will keep our minds, bodies and hearts to Him and for Him. 

2. We will make Him central in the relationships. Not to just think that He is central, but to truly entrust the relationship and everything in it to Him i.e. when all is well, and when everything is the devil. 

3. We would stop expecting too much of each other but put out focus on expecting everything possible from Him. Because, come on, all of us are just so kaput, broken and retarded. We are very poor at faithfully delivering anything. The only One who can fully deliver all our unreasonable expectations is Jesus. No one else. 

4. We would seek perfection in and from Him first before seeking perfection in and from anyone else. 

5. We both should love Him above our boyfriends and girlfriends. He knows that this will cause us to obey God more in every area of the relationship and stop converting our baes into gods.

Second, He expects the following of young men (me included) in relationships: 

1. To be gentle, loving, caring, supportive and forgiving towards the opposite sex. He uses the apostle Paul to command the following of us: 

1 Timothy 5:2 (NLT) "Treat the older women as you would your mother, and treat the younger women with all purity as your own sisters."

2. To love one lady only, and assure her so. Christ loves one Church, His body. He doesn't love "churches". To Christ, there are no "churches". Although many may say that this tall order belongs to marriage, I would say that a strong foundation to any meaningful marriage begins with reasonable relationships. Failed relationships speak the same language as failed marriages. If a man "loves" quite a "bunch" of ladies all at once, this man is not worthy of a daughter of God. He can't love her well whose Master loves jealously. (You can quote that, haha) 

3.  To be willing to sacrifice His time and self for her. Christianity is all about laying ourselves down for others. In fact, Jesus willingly did the same for us. He demands that every Christian does the same for the other. And relationships aren't different.

John 10:17 (NLT) "The Father loves Me because I lay down My life that I may have it back again." 

John 17:19 (NLT) "And I give Myself entirely to You so they also might be entirely yours."

4. He intercedes for her. 

Jesus intercedes for the Church. He also commands that we pray for one another. Relationships are not an exception. 

James 5:16 (NIV) "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

5. He protects her and leads her in His ways. 

He does it with words. With deeds. In humility. And intentionally. With honesty. With faithfulness. By leading her to the cross of Jesus and at His feet. 

No matter what, the man shall always be expected to take the leadership role (whether in relationships or in marriage.) Christ expects us to protect our baes by not leading them to a place of intimacy if we're not expecting to make them our wives. 

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV) "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

Third and lastly, He expects the following of the lady. He expects that; 

1. She learns all the ways of a Christian woman from MATURE Christian women so that in the near future she may understand how to support her man, praise her man, submit to her man cheer her husband and lay down her life for her man. 

Titus 2:3 (ESV) "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children."

2.  That as the weaker vessel, she learns to be led. 
Jesus says that women are the weaker vessel (not 'weak' but 'the weaker vessel' - there is a difference). It doesn't really matter what the present culture says, but Christ says so. If the guy isn't leading, ask him to, and also pray that he will learn to lead. 

Note: The point of leadership in relationships differs from that in marriage. Here, leadership is not the "you lead and I submit" type, but the "you lead and we seek Christ for direction" type. 

3. She possess a humble and gentle spirit.

I know someone would want me to quote a verse from 1 Peter 3 that applies to married women, but I won't. Although it is a great verse. But I'll quote the following verse: 

Philippians 4:5 (NIV) "Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near."

Gentleness has a way of revealing the Jesus in you ladies. It is a firmer grip on what you value than the adornments on your body. Embrace it. 

4. She prays for her boyfriend. 

This instruction is the same as the one for the young man above about interceding for the other. 

5. She guards her heart against the futile lies of the enemy. 

Eve loved foreign words. She loved them so much that she couldn't remember exactly what God through her husband Adam had instructed her to do with that fruit. She didn't guard her heart against foreign words that seemed true and sweet at the moment but poisonous and life-threatening in the end. 

Christ expects the redeemed lady to guard her heart against finding pleasure in the sweet words and enticements of foreign love from a guy that is not her own and from friends that mean her relationship harm. He expects her to live as a new being who has been redeemed from the sins, failures and mistakes of the first woman. 


I rest my case.

Keep expecting. And know that He is expecting too.

Further reading notes for guys:

(a) 5 NOTES ON DATING FOR THE GUYS

(b) 10 Disciplines of a Godly Man

And read the last blog in this series here: Rhetoric: Love Is...

Bonface Morris. 

Relationships and Short Stories: Thirty Dates, One Truth

Note: This is my second blog from a series of posts this year celebrating February as “the month of love”. You can read the first blog here: Relationships – Is Grass Always Greener On the Other Side?

Thirty Dates... One Truth

*******

Brian looks grimly at his phone, swiping at its screen from right to left with impatience.

This is the second time she has stood him up, or rather, come late.

“Why on bloody earth is she late?” he cusses within himself.

He then decides to call her… The call goes through but she doesn’t pick up.

He is now burning with anger. It is eating him up. He is infuriated.

He stands up, fidgets with the coins and the USB thumb drive in his left side trouser pocket, holds his phone in his right hand, opens his contacts app and scrolls down the call history to see how long ago she had promised (or lied) that “she was just 10 minutes away”. He recollects that it has been an hour already.

“One bloody hour!” He cusses again.

He then swipes to the left within the dialer app to access his “favorites” or “most called” and just below his “bae” Betty is his dude’s number, Sam.

He calls Sam.

He has now moved on to the other end of the café and is looking down at the streets as he plucks on the potted plants in their vases right at the grills. He is absent-minded at most as his call to Sam goes through. It drizzling outside, and a wind mixed with moisture hits his face bringing with it palpitations of both dread (due to the anger he already is feeling) and calmness (due to a decrease in temperature). The drizzle causes the soil on the outside to smell both rusty and chunky.

“Niaje jamaa? I hope zinakuendea poa leo. Imagine huyu mrembo ameamua kuni-standup tena raundi hii. Si hii ni mchezo!? Ni kama hii date nitafanya na waiters tu kama last time before aingie na petty excuses. Hii ni kuzoeana tunazoeana.”

(Hi dude! I hope you’re doing just fine. Imagine my girlfriend happens to have stood me up again. This is ridiculous! It’s like I am going to have a date with the waiter just like last time, after all, before she comes in with her petty excuses. I think it has now turned into a game of taking each other for granted.)

Sam, being the dude he is, a solid member of TMF, and that he is either into all kinds of chiqs or no chiq at all, throws his buddy a bummer:

“Hey, man. Nilikwambia hizi story za kukazana na kutreat mrembo as if anakupatiaga kidneys unatumia mchana halafu unamrudishia jioni zitakuletea noma. Si you lenga her for a month or two tuone atafanya nini.”

(Hey, man. I told you not long ago that when you treat a lady as if she hires her kidneys at a fee will deal you a blow. I propose that you break up with her for a month or two without notice and see how it rolls…)

“Okay acha nione. Wacha aingie hivi na mimi nitoke, nimwambie kama ni hii kubebana tutaendelea kubebana, wacha tubebane after one month or two.”

(Okay, let’s wait and see. Once she’s here, I’ll pick myself up and leave. I’ll let her know that I can extend these mind-games of hers to a month or two.)

So he waits.

It starts raining. It pours, actually. There is even a thunderclap. He waves at the waiter and calls for coffee. It’s 6pm. He feels the chill but smiles at the prospect that the coffee will help. He had come out of work early for this date. He has even skipped his evening classes. See? He is that kind of dude that sacrifices both his time and commitments in order to spend time with his girlfriend of two years. This thing is serious to him, and he is intentional about it.

After he’s sipped his tea halfway through while clutching the cup with both hands in order to feel and tap from its warmth, Betty comes rushing in, umbrella in hand and literally dripping of rain water. He looks at her with the “did-Steve-Harvey-just-announce-that-Uber-left-Kenya-just-a-few-seconds-ago?” look mixed with the “haiya!-this-Wi-Fi-just-got-to-10mbps!” look.

She is dripping, or at least her shoes are. And he doesn’t care… Oh, well, he does. But not like he used to.

“Hi babe!” he quips while making a paltry gesture with his head.

“Hi!”

“Sorry for the rain”

*Silence*

“But you should have been here an hour and half ago! You promised, remember? You wouldn’t be dripping like a donkey if it were so. At all. What happened?”

She gives him the “come-on-duuude!!” kind of look.

“Nothing happened. I just ran into friends, one thing led into another, and then here I am. Ain’t you gonna order coffee for me, or even pull me a chair? Or even, in the slightest manner, offer to take my umbrella?”

“Oh, sorry. I am just not sure what you take nowadays. I could order coffee, but you would end up telling me that you are not doing coffee this week or month; or I could order tea, and you would say someone just advised you against it yesterday. So, I can’t. But you can tell me what you need and I’ll call in the waiter for you.”

She gives him that look again, stomps her dripping feet, folds the umbrella, hands it over to the waiter and requests for black coffee.

“So, do you think we can talk? It’ s almost 7.”

“Yeah, I thought that is why we are meeting. No?”

“Yeah”

Her coffee is served.

“I just wanted to complain about how you are treating me these days. I feel like I am playing second fiddle in your life all the time. Everything else but me, is a priority.”

“I’m listening”

“I hope you won’t see that I am trying to judge or condemn you.”

“Mmmhuh”

“This is the second date you almost stood me up and I never hear an apology from you at all. It seems like our good sides just vanished, huh?” he rants.

“Babe, how many dates have we had so far? Thirty-something? Probably forty? Have we had the best of times? Yes, I think we have. And have we had the worst of times? Yes, I do think so too. Have I been perfect? Yes, quite minimally. And have I been imperfect? Yes, numerous times. Have you been perfect? Yes, you have. And imperfect? Yes, multiple times. We have tested both ends of what a relationship can have and bear. According to me, the one truth that we cannot all escape from is this: we are evolving as individuals and we just need to keep up with it. We all are evolving. Our relationship is changing us. We keep changing. We are neither who we were yesterday nor who we were when we first met. There are things I expect of you today that I never did before. Why? Because we are growing, changing, evolving every single day.

Our expectations keep changing. Our bodies keep changing.

Our questions keep changing. Our visions keep being reviewed all the time.

Even the way we show affection keeps changing. That’s why you didn’t pull my chair when I came in… And in the course of changing, baby, we will always have friction. Only unchanging people lack what to fight over. I didn’t have a job before, but now my job demands both my commitment and attention. So am I to stop everything else and take care of only one part of my life? No. That will be an imbalance…”

Just before she finishes saying all she was saying, Brian jumps in…

“I understand your point, and I totally understand what you are saying. And it seems that that is the same thing I am talking about: that although we are evolving - which I understand - why are we now switching priorities? Doesn’t our time together matter anymore than our jobs or friends or time alone? The fact that we are meeting to talk about stuff even after having numerous dates and arguments is proof that we truly are good friends. And friends care to keep the fire within the friendship burning. Ours is fading. Yes, we are changing, but the spark is dying. I care that we should rekindle it again. I am not working hard to keep this fire burning as I used to, and I feel the same about you… What do you think?”

The rain outside has subsided. There is a breeze of chilling air sweeping across the room in which they and several others are seated. Their coffees are done. They are now blankly staring at each other. Betty offers to give him her spare pullover which she pulls out from her hand bag and gives to him.

“You know what babe? The one thing I love about us is that we can solve our differences without involving other people.

(After saying this, Brian now feels guilty that his friend Sam knows almost everything about this relationship as he does, and Betty too knows pretty well that her friend Ann has grown weary of her tantrums concerning Brian. So she is careful about what she says next…)

“Even as truth unveils itself before us, the question to ask ourselves is: are we really ready to accommodate each other as far much as we are very different people from those that had their first date just over two years ago? Are we? Okay, am I ready to understand that you don’t see it a big deal today to not pull my chair anymore even though I would really thrill in the moment when you do so? Are you ready to accommodate the fact that my job now takes too much of my time and I can no longer be as available as I used to be? Are we ready to evolve together or are we going to end up evolving apart?”

Brian now realizes that his one-month or two-month break threat was a petty strategy. It could not work here in this very situation if he was to remain to be the man of integrity that he truly is. He calls in a truce right within his mind.

“I think acclimatizing to who we are right now or who we are becoming is a journey and a reality we cannot avoid. We truly have changed. I have become more inquisitive, more demanding, pettier… Can we work on evolving together? One step at a time?”

Betty gives him the “come-on-duude!” look again. Which means she agrees with him.

He later escorts her to her place. His heart isn’t racing like when he brought her here for the first time, but the assurance that they still love each other and that they both care where the relationship is headed makes him have a bounce in his feet again. Their next date, the thirty-something date, ’d better be exciting…

*******

The story above is derived from a true story.

Within the story is one lesson: that after two people have been together for a while, they tend to grow fond of each other and therefore take each others’ needs (or love language) for granted. But if the two realize that their relationship is eroding due to this tendency of growing apart and decide to light up the spark again, the relationship (or marriage) may find itself on its feet again. They only need to agree to grow and evolve together.

And here is post number three in this series: A Boyfriend, a Girlfriend, Christ and Everything Else

Bonface Morris.

Date Night (Continued)

This post has been continued from here.

"So how was your week and, er, and your day?" he begins.
"The week has been fine. Yeah, it was a bit demanding but generally quite okay..."

“That’s good to hear… Mine has been busy, but not so exhilarating. In fact, I have just been finishing up today on some stuff I had begun in the middle of the week with one of my buddies. On-going stuff, you know…”

“Yeah, I get it. It happens to me too. Quite a lot.”

She now remembers that she has not gotten the full details of where he works and what he does. So wisely, she navigates around the topic… 

The waiter comes in with her drink, asks if she may need something else, and after she reiterates that she is okay, they continue with the conversation… 

“But I can help you sometime you know; just a little - that is if you think I can be of help…”

“Oh, (he smiles frailly), some of this stuff we do ain’t cool for people like you.:”

“Oh! What? Ati it ain’t cool for guys like me? Kwani what’s the work about? Because the only thing I’d really really mind doing is one which involves me staying up the whole night; because I really DO value my sleep.” (She had decide to avoid being too formal in her manner of speech in order to create an atmosphere of freedom between them.)

“Hah, it may involve that – staying up all night yeah, but not entirely…”

“Not entirely!? So I am in danger of losing my sleep day-on-the-end - that is if I come to offer help?”

“Yes and no. You may only be required to work deep in the night in the name of killing datelines; apart from that, you’ll be cool.”

“Okay, I won’t mind that if it puts food on my table and a little cash in my pocket for myself and a few others…”

“But I also think you guys take it too seriously when we ladies look the way we do – it entirely doesn’t mean that we can’t navigate through life and work on a few weird projects so long as they are genuine, decent and give us a honest way of achieving our goals. A lady is gotta be a lady, you know”

“Yeah, I get it, but you guys dent our minds and make us imagine things.”

“Things? Hah. What manner of things?” she quips.

Curiously, she is now slightly leaning on the table and is feeling freer as the conversation proceeds. He too is relaxing in his world and is feeling like she should be the kind of lady he is looking for – having a great degree of intelligence and an ability to both stimulate the mind in conversation and keep the air less ionized.

“I’ll talk about it in length sometime. What do you wanna take for dinner? They have everything in order”

She picks the menu and gazes at it (knowing at the back of her mind that it is just for formality). At this time, he is staring at the countenance of her face, the enjoinment from her hair, to her eyes, to her cheeks, her chin and down to her neck... his heart races profusely...

 

“Mmmmh, please make the order for me. I’ll be okay with whatever you pick.”

He now stretches his neck and looks around to spot the waiter who had previously served them. He sees him bending near the counter, wiping a table right below it but a meter or so apart. The waiter notices his gaze and comes back to take his order – and because it was a pre-prepared dinner, and that he had proposed a few possible meals, he picks out two out of the five possible ones he had informed the restaurant that he might take...

“I hope you love the place…”

“Yeah, the place is cool… in fact it is a lot better than I had anticipated.”

“Have you ever been here by the way?”

“Not really, but we have a tendency of analyzing every place in town by face and service value with the girls… and comparing what I had heard and what I am seeing, it is way better than what our analysis had depicted”

“You mean you and the girls do this a lot huh? I thought it was only a dudes thing…”

He now wishes to add in “I hope I can meet the girls soon” but hesitates because it may not be a good idea considering that it is only a second date…

                                               

“Yeah, girls gotta do what they gotta do.”

“So I guess you may propose to me some great places to visit with my buddies, right? We prefer places that are less noisy, more natural and with an artistic sense and amber. You know of any within town?”

“Hah, yeah; and we’ve been to several too.”

“Mhhh, it seems you guys know to have a good time, yes?”

“That’s what we are here for: live for God, serve people, serve the nation and have a life.”

The next part of the conversation is detailed with names of restaurants and hotels in the proximity of town and the kind of services offered. Meals are served in the course of this airy conversation of bits and lengths of auric descriptions. There are unlimited exchanges of smiles, glances, gestures and thoughts making an observer like myself admire the date...

The air is warm with sounds of calming music in the background and mixtures of smells from desserts and foods, nature and cocktails. There are a few waiters walking around receiving orders from various clients, making the place void of disturbance and commotion. Their table is exclusively located - far from the entrance but where they can see everyone coming in and going out. It is well set, and from her observation, their services are okay.

Photo courtesy of www.3dlabz.com

She steals a glance at him as he is looking away with a fork in hand...

"He is a great guy! Oh yes he is: much better than my memory had imagined him earlier on..."
"Maybe this one will work" she continues in her mind.
"Yeah, our first date was rather unprecedented" she continues... "It was almost hurried, and almost not hurried… and although I liked it, it was harder to understand by face-value what type of guy he truly is... Today, this moment right here feels more relaxed, organized and planned for… this is…”

“By the way, are you into music?” he asks, bringing her back to consciousness.

“Yeah, I sing. I love great music too. Great music.”

“You sing? I have not imagined you singing… Have you ever sung before an audience maybe?”

“I sing in church.”

“Oh, that’s cute. I mean, that is really great… So I suppose you have a preferred music style, right?”

"Yeah, I am into Afro-fusion, folk and soft rock, all Gospel all the way..."

"We seem to share the same taste in music then... like that song playing ion the background is one of my favorites"

She listens keenly and hears Francesca Battistelli's "If We're Honest" playing in the background... 

"Ooooo! That's my girl right there!" 

You see, she is not that into dating. She believes in one thing: God will bring her her guy, and she’ll like him, and they are going to have a life together. she hates dating and dropping guys because that is not her game. Frogs (that's what they call previous guys in relationships, right?)or whatever, she doesn’t believe she has to kiss so many of them in order to meet the right guy. Yeah, there is a RIGHT guy, just not a Mr. Right. BUT there is the RIGHT guy. This is what she has always and relentlessly preached to her friends: there is a RIGHT guy, but he may not be the fairy Mr. Right. Frogs? No, frogs are not her problem, staying focused on what she needs is where the point is.

The evening moves on well and three hours down the line, they have known a good chuck of each other. He has talked a bit about his personal life and she has shared a few things about hers.

..............................

As they realize that their time is well spent, he requests that they leave.

She picks up her bag and he then leads her to the door-side. 

He then picks up his phone and calls his deals buddy to bring him his ride.

As they wait outside the restaurant, he holds her hand as they together they gaze at the city lights.

It is now 8pm and a cool breeze is starting to wave through the streets making the weather chilly and dense. The city is incredibly different at night - almost as if it is a different place from what they always see during the day.

After 5 minutes or so, Sam arrives and hands over the car keys to him. 

He opens the door for her, closes it behind her after she is seated and drives her home.

After they arrive, he parks the car across the road, helps her cross to the other side and requests to escort her to the gate, which she apprehends but later gives in to his prodding.

While nearing their estate gate, he holds her hand, looks into her eyes and quietly tells her, “I had a great time today; I hope you won’t mind us meeting again…”

She blushes. “I had a great night too, we’ll talk later. Please text me to inform me that you arrived home well and safe... Good night”, she responds.

He watches her after the gate is opened until the security guy closes it again... and he remains standing for a while contemplating his next move... Should he meet Sam before going to his place? "No." He decides to head straight for his place.

 

………………………………..

She opens the door, throws her bag with the keys at the table, takes off her shoes and runs straight for her bedroom holding her phone in her hand. 

For the time being, she doesn't change into her night gown. She doesn't have to. She doesn't feel like.

She clutches her pillow tightly. So tight that if it was juicy, the sap would ooze out.
She is so happy and terrified at the same time. She wants to scream.
Momentarily, she puts the volume on her sub-woofers slightly higher than she always does during the night. Volume notch 5. Alright, she doesn't want to wake her neighbors up - those nosy neighbors. 

"Allow me to love you like in the movies but as God wills…” she had expected him to say as he held her hand just a few minutes ago. She had expected him to quote the words in the movie they had been talking about. She had wanted him to. So much.
She had wanted to so badly jump and (so badly - oh yeah) kiss him.
He had made her feel goofy. Goofy? Yeah, goofy.
So she picks up the phone and decides to call Jane.

“Hi pumpkin!”

“Heey! Why the excitement? It is the date, huh? Thitima ya mapenzi imekunyeshea, huh?”

“Haha, I can’t probably give you the whole story right now. Let's meet up on Monday at lunchtime maybe? or tomorrow after church? Girl, I need to give you the whole story.”

"Tomorrow is cool with me."

“Okay, that’s cool. Sleep tight, pumpkin.”

"You too sweetheart..."

…………………………….

He never talked about the date, except for telling his buddy Sam: “I think I am almost getting someone to replace you half the time I am free… I think.”

His friend Sam had just laughed.

He knows a few things about love and relationships, and so within his mind he wished his buddy all the best. But he'll talk this over the way guys do.

"New found love and old wine are one and the same thing", he thought.

Bonface Morris.