Always Ask

Let me share with us some tiny wisdom I have learned over time. The wisdom is this: when in doubt, always ask. It costs you nothing to ask. 

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Have you ever been in a situation where things were being said about someone you know quite well and you didn't know what to make of it? 

It may have been that what was being said was either true or false; you just didn't have enough evidence to verify the facts. And this kept you "hanging in there" waiting for the story to end so that you may deeply reflect on the allegations. 

With such scenarios playing a lot in my life of late, I have come to realize that if you depend on another person to tell you the whole story of another person, there will always be bias (good or bad.) 

Take for instance a story an old man - who should be respectable according to public understanding - told me about a year ago: that this lady we both know and with whom we had been interacting several times had been pregnant in a manner I don't know and had given birth to a baby I had never seen. 

Not that she couldn't get pregnant, but the story startled me because for the whole period the allegations were being thrown against her, I had been seeing her in perfect "babylessness".

Now, after listening to the story, I sensed that it was sh*t. Yes, I just said that. The story was sh*t. It was that way because it had so many holes:

1. There hadn't been any visible evidence of a pregnancy: there was neither a baby bump nor any other physiological changes associated with pregnancies for all the time I was interacting with her. 

2. There was no need for me to know about someone's private affairs like a relationship or a pregnancy. Those two things are private, and him telling me about them without the consent of the lady meant that this old man had no respect for people's privacy. I felt like shutting him down. 

3. Why would he care about it anyway if he was going to do nothing about it but just report to Morris? Am I God? Or had God appointed him as an accusing angel to talk about what goes wrong where and with whom? 

See? That's what made me write this blog. Stuff like that makes me feel bad about how people approach other people's successes or failures. 

And for that matter, if you're faced with such ballooned stories in life, you got a few options with you; 
1. Face the story-teller and shut them down, or 
2. Say nothing, or 
3. Do what this blog post is advising you to do: ask. Ask both the victim of the story and the story-teller to sync the two points of view. 

In my case, I picked number two. I said nothing. 

Why? Because 
1. the evidence was clear that none of what he was saying was true; and 
2. silence ensures that he won't bring me any of those fake stories any time soon once he realizes that I don't give comments on people's private lives. 

It may be that you have heard funny stories about a prominent person or a great leader; or that someone is blaming the leadership in a certain place for a certain mess. Either shut that person up, say nothing, ask the story-teller how sure they are that what they are saying is true or go ask the person being badmouthed if what is being said is true. After that, deal with whatever truth you find in a gracious way. 

Here are some other things you can do:

1. Verify a story first before drawing conclusions. 
Go to the victim and get their story before you draw a conclusion. There are always two sides to a story. Get both before victimizing anyone. 
Proverbs 18:17 (ESV) "The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him."

2. Don't poke your nose into people's private lives. It's none of your business. 
Don't go investigating without prior background information. You may end up being a gossip-monger. Even the Bible supports this here: 1 Thessalonians 4:11 (NIV) "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you."

3. Only pray to God or pass on the information to other parties for help after getting the whole story. 
Don't give the devil a chance to play you into his conniving slanderous schemes. 

Conclusion
Here's a simplified version of what I'm saying... 
1. Quietly listen and understand. 
2. Ask questions to get views from both sides. 
3. Take action. 

It costs you nothing to ask, so always ask. 

God bless. 

Bonface Morris. 

Christian Living: A Short Study on Discipleship

Here is a short study on Christian discipleship that I wrote a couple of months ago. We've been using it in our youth Bible Study for some time now.

It is a short study, meaning it is not conclusive and I may therefore add in a few things here and there to make it a bit more complete.

Feel free to download and share it free of charge.

Here is the download link;

Discipleship: A Short Study.pdf 

God bless.


Bonface Morris.

3 'Must Haves' to Successful Christian Living

The world we live in today is very ridiculous. It is always expecting too much from Christians - quite too much. It knows what our standards should be - what the Bible says about Christian behavior - and it is not only holding us accountable for what we do, but also judging us for the same.

The world does not act with kindness when dealing with Christians. It is harsh. Intolerable. Merciless. Judgmental. And rude. It is judging us with the highest standards of scrutiny, the same of which if it is subjected to, it may fall down under before it even thinks of rising up. The balances it uses in sieving through what we do and how we behave are meticulous, and that is the truth.

But that does not matter. (At least not to the Christian who will consider what I am sharing in this post.) We know who we are. Christians know who they are. We know it and are not running away from it. We will not try to be petty over it either. We will strive to live to the measure of what God's Word says. Right here in this generation. We will strive to do it in the midst of scoffers and perjurers and in the midst of a world that is always running away from God.

The truth is that Christians are the yard stick of the world. We are to be emulated. We are to be copied (literally, and again not so literally). We represent God, and God is worthy to be emulated. We are to bring hope, and show love, and make people experience God. That is our duty on this earth. And we are in for the task.

Although there is no straight-on formula to "making it" in Christian life except that provided in the Bible, below are three BASIC things that are necessary when one wants to become the Christian they should be (or that God expects them to be);

1. The Word of God
It has been stressed upon countless times that The Word of God is the Christian's mantle. I am going to reiterate it more. Psalm 119:105 (ESV) says "Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.") There is no magic to successful Christian living. No, there is not. God is very clear that we need to know His Word in order to please Him (Read Joshua 1:8 (ESV) "This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success." and Colossians 3:16 "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God."

I need to meditate upon it and delight in it (Psalm 1:2 (ESV) "...but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night." I need to live it. It is not my Pastor's nor my leader's duty to know God's Word on my behalf, it is my duty. I should know it and seek to apply it in my life so that I may live the life I am supposed to live.

Here are reasons why every Christian should read, know, understand and live God's Word;

(a) God's Word are His instructions to the born again Christian on how He expects us to live in this fallen world. Only by heeding it do we understand His thoughts and plan(s) for us.

(b) God's Word contains revelation about God and ourselves. It reveals to us who and what God is to us, to the universe, and to mankind; and also reveals us to ourselves. We can only know who we truly are by reading the Word. We also are able to know who the devil (Satan) truly is and what all his plans against us are.

(c) The Word of God is the Christian's power in overcoming temptation and the devil. (Hebrews 4:12 (ESV) "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart", Ephesians 6:17 (ESV) "...and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God..." and Revelation 12:11 (ESV) "And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death."

2. The Holy Spirit

We all understand that the Holy Spirit is part of the God-head: the third person in the Holy Trinity. It is very basic for every Christian to understand that unless we have the Holy Spirit, we do not belong to Christ (Romans 8:9b (ESV) "Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.). There are three things that the Holy Spirit does;

(a) He helps us (gives us strength) in our daily living and mentors us towards holiness. He helps us pray/intercede, fast, read God's Word, meditate, speak the truth, attend church, dress right, speak graciously, love people, persevere/tolerate people, be gentle, be kind, be merciful, be less judgmental, think right//purely, practice self control, be joyful regardless of circumstances, be good to people, be understanding, put others first (be selfless), be humble, become wise, be faithful (both to God and fellow men), be generous... the list is endless. In simple terms, He helps us live the life we are called to live, because we can never make it on our own. (Refer to Galatians 5:22 (ESV) "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness..." and James 3:17 (ESV) "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.")

(b) He is our inspiration, comfort and motivation. Matthew 10:19 (ESV) says "When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour" and Acts 9:31 (ESV) says "So the church throughout all Judea and Galilee and Samaria had peace and was being built up. And walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it multiplied."

(c) He is our guide. John 16:13 (ESV) says "When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come", Judges 11:29 (ESV) says "Then the Spirit of the LORD was upon Jephthah, and he passed through Gilead and Manasseh and passed on to Mizpah of Gilead, and from Mizpah of Gilead he passed on to the Ammonites" and Psalm 143:10 (ESV) says "​Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!"

3. The Congregation of Saints

Many of us take this for granted. We think that it is useless to meet other Christians and worship together. Some avoid meeting other Christians in the name of "protecting themselves from gossip, back-biting and intolerable Christians", and others because "the Church has become a market place - it is better if we live this life on our own." Some have even insisted that "I can watch/listen to sermons on TV/radio all day and still be more blessed and nearer to God than you guys who went/go to church..." 

Whenever we make these assumptions, we deceive ourselves and are driven away from the Church itself. 

There is an important point to note about the Early Church that is still relevant to the Church and Christians today: they used to fellowship with one another more than we do today, and that kept them stronger and focused on living a godly life. Find reference from the verses below;

- 1 John 1:3 (ESV) "...that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ."

- Acts 2:42 (ESV) "And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers."

- 1 Corinthians 16:19 (ESV) "The churches of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Prisca, together with the church in their house, send you hearty greetings in the Lord."

The apostle Paul also insists in Hebrews 10:24-25 that "...and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

Whoever tries to defend themselves against this matter is only but being prideful and conceited.

Attending fellowships and church helps us in the following ways;

(a) Encouraging one another, support, companionship, affection and socialization. Of course every congregation will have its own "bad sides", but it should serve the purpose of an extended Christian family. The church is a home to every soul that needs godly company.

(b) Accountability - when we lose out on attending church, we miss the opportunity to be accountable to a community of people that can positively shape our thinking, desires and daily personal behavior. We miss our on being trimmed to become better Christians in the society at large. The congregation of saints provides us with real mentors and consultants in real life experiences.

(c) The congregation of saints helps us in our positive personal growth, transformation and change. When we meet people with like minds, who are seeking to worship and serve God like we do, we are challenged to become better in serving fellow men and God. We stop being limited to our views and take on life.

The above points are very BASIC and are meant to help us kick-start living a life that is worthy the calling we have received in accordance with Matthew 3:8 (ESV) "Bear fruit in keeping with repentance" and Ephesians 4:1 (ESV) "I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called"). Use them to impart something useful into the lives of the people around you.

God bless.

Bonface Morris.