21 Things that Can Make Your Life Better

I have a tendency of always wanting to simplify things. A love a simple, intentional and relevant life.

I sometimes dream of a day when I can "Google" for my "lost" socks in the house. (Yeah, crazy, right?) Or a day when I can send my bae a great TV Show I just met in minutes via some network at a cheap cost...

Can you now hear me?

I'm crazy about a simple, hustle-free life.

My phone's launcher has got to have gestures, shortcuts and beauty. If not, I'm gonna ditch it sooner than that Android Central recommendation can even blink. I want someone to go to school on my behalf (yeah, that's lazy, but it's a way of simplifying life); my remotes have to be at an arm's length from where I am etc etc.

So, if in that spirit of making life simpler and better, here are a few life principles I love and with various Bible examples to help:

1. Life is not THAT serious, so have some fun. Not too much useless fun though, but have good fun. Not wicked, evil fun but good, righteous fun. (Oh my goodness, so there is righteous fun?)
Too much of one thing is poisonous. Go out sometime. Take your bae out. Watch some movies or TV Show. Have some goofy time somewhere.
Ecclesiastes 2:24 (NLT) says, "So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that this pleasure is from the hand of God."

2. Don't judge yourself too highly nor too lowly.
Feeling too important raises a tendency of autonomy, self-righteousness and pride. You will end up thinking you are a god. You are not.
Feeling less important about yourself brings about low self-esteem, depression and self neglect. You'll get old and die really fast. See?
Romans 12:3 (NIV) says, "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you."

3. Don't hold grudges. They'll kill you. Forgive people. Move on.
Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) says, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

4. Release your anger, frustrations and emotions by talking about them to a person you trust and with God. The more learn to do this, the better.
Job in The Book of Job is a good example of someone who decided to release his frustration by talking about it with friends and with God. Though his friends turned out to be fake, it still helped.

5. Learn to deal with people and to treat them with a little benefit of doubt.
Jude 1:22-23 (NIV) says, "Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear - hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh."

6. Don't post your frustrations on Social Media. Nobody cares. In fact, we're all going to laugh at you for doing so.
Ever read this? »»
Proverbs 14:10 (NIV) "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy." Good. Now youce read it. 

7. Live one day at a time and don't procrastinate the simple stuff.
Matthew 6:34 (NIV) says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Proverbs 6:4 (NLT) says "Don't put it off. Do it now! Don't rest until you do."

8. Talk to God often. Talk to people often. You weren't created to be an island.
Ecclesiastes 4:9, 12 (NIV) says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work... Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

9. Always pause in life and reflect.
There's always that season in life when we think that we are right and that we know everything. We are not and we we don't know everything. Not always, really.
1 Corinthians 8:2-3 (NLT) says, "Anyone who claims to know all the answers doesn't really know very much. But the person who loves God is the one God knows and cares for."

10. Love your family (whether you're married or not.)
In Genesis 45:9-11 (NET), after Joseph was made the Prime Minister of Egypt, he instructed his brothers who had previously sold into slavery, "Now go up to my father quickly and tell him, ‘This is what your son Joseph says: 'God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; do not delay! You will live in the land of Goshen, and you will be near me – you, your children, your grandchildren, your flocks, your herds, and everything you have. I will provide you with food there because there will be five more years of famine. Otherwise you would become poor – you, your household, and everyone who belongs to you.'"
Paul the apostle also says, "But if someone does not provide for his own,especially his own family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." (1 Timothy 5:8, NET)

11. Serve God. Serve people.
Only in these is true satisfaction found.
Mark 10:44-45 (NET) says, "...and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

12. Work hard. Be creative. Don't waste anything that God gave you. If you can imagine a thing, know that it is absolutely possible. So go for it. Make money too but don't overindulge in it.
Proverbs 22:29 (NIV) "Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men."
Proverbs 14:23 (NIV) "All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty."

13. Make friends. Good friends, bad friends and all kinds of friends. Talk to them often. (Both types of friends are meant to make us balanced and to view life a wide range of perspective). But don't forsake your good old friends for fake new ones.
Proverbs 18:1 (NIV) "An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment."
Proverbs 17:17 (NIV) "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
Proverbs 12:26 (NIV) "A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray."

14. Take care of yourself. Don't limit yourself. But don't compete or negatively compare yourself with others.
Galatians 6:4 (NLT) says, "Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your work well, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else."

15. Expect less from men, and a lot from God.
Jeremiah 17:5 (MSG) says, "God's Message: 'Cursed is the strong one who depends on mere humans, Who thinks he can make it on muscle alone and sets God aside as dead weight.'"

16. Be inquisitive. Ask questions when you're lost. Be curious about how stuff works and why things happen the way they do.
Ecclesiastes 1:13-14 (NIV) says, "I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men! I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

17. Follow sensible people whom you admire and that can shape your life positively. But, again, don't worship them. That kind of fanaticism ain't good for anybody. 
1 Corinthians 11:1 (NIV) "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ."

18. Learn some few things about self discipline and self control. Practice them. It will help you a lot.
Learn to control your anger, your pain, your emotions and feelings, what you listen to and watch, how much you eat, how much you relate with people.
It is said boundaries are meant to keep the dog in the compound and the cat in the house...
1 Thessalonians 5:6-8 (NIV) says, "So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet."

19. Love God. Love People.
But without compromising. One article I read this week reiterated that "Truth without love has no decency; it’s just brutality. And love without truth has no character; it’s just hypocrisy. You can read it here.
Matthew 22:37 (NIV) says, "Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'"
Matthew 7:12 (NIV) says, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."

20. Strive to learn something new everyday; even from the oddest places, occasions and people.
Don't limit your knowledge to what your pastor, your teacher/lecturer, your leader or your parent tells you. Explore. Find out more about something. Make your opinion on something count. Be able to teach someone something new. That's what life is all about.
Proverbs 19:27 (NLT) »» "If you stop listening to instruction, my child, you have turned your back on knowledge."

21. Be passionate about something. Have something that makes you think; something that drives you into a crazy feat of creativity. Something that activates that part of you that nobody knows about but they're all liking the product that comes out.
2 Corinthians 9:2 (KJV) says, "For I know the forwardness of your mind, for which I boast of you to them of Macedonia, that Achaia was ready a year ago; and your zeal hath provoked very many."

You know what? I'm done.

Bonface Morris.

2015, I Promise

I don’t make New Year resolutions. I don’t. I just get into the New Year and continue from where I left off the previous year. I don't make New Year resolutions but I DO set goals for myself to guide my path into the next season. I may do that in the middle of the year, at the beginning or whenever. I'm just not into that New Year hysteria that grasps most of us...

Does that make me any different? Eh, and does it make me a proud person? Maybe. Am I proud of it? Yes. Why? I don't know.  

As you have already realized, I have decided to do things differently this year: I chose not to impulsively post in the first week of the year giving you hints on how I/you will run your life this year. I am not God. I have promised myself not to play God anywhere in your life or mine. Playing God is tough. I gat no skin for that... God is the only one that knows where we are headed to, how to go there, when and why... I can't do that... but all I can do is give direction. I can point you/us in a certain direction using God's words of Wisdom.

So what does that make me? A wise person? No. Wisdom is overrated. Mostly actually... It just makes me a messenger though: a servant who also depends on the same instructions I am sent to deliver.  

Okay, again, just to remind you; inasmuch as we say God is in control and we ain't trying to play Him, it does not entirely mean that we have to just sit around and wait for things/life to happen to us. No. People who do that end up more frustrated with life than you and I who choose to make a few steps or changes in/with our lives. Such people run around (or hang around) desiring change they cannot achieve. They expect too much of people and God without proving that they are worthy of the outcome. They wait for life to be born, fed and clothed as they watch. That takes forever; and the sad thing about it is that when it happens - when life/God happens after that forever - they can’t celebrate it that much... Because it won’t be that sweet for their celebration.

                             A victory after a war you have not fought in is not as sweet as that attained 

                                                            after the struggle of engaging in battle…

Now, considering that it is a New Year, and that learning is one of the best things that can happen to an individual (especially one that seeks to put in practice whatever they have learned), I will share with you in this month lessons learned from 2014 and tips that will not only put us in perspective with seeing life as “the big picture” it is, but that will also enhance our personal and spiritual growth. Maybe I'll convince you to be an all-round person who seeks growth in and out of season. Maybe.

So, to begin with, have you made any New Year  resolutions (yet)? Have you promised yourself to do a few things (God willing) for yourself, for those around you and for God? Do you have a list (either in your heart/mind or in writing/print) tucked away somewhere? Well, I am here to congratulate you. You are doing well (at least for now...) and are better than me.

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WordWeb Dictionary defines a resolution as “a decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner”.

With this definition in mind, it means that we make resolutions all the time (or that we ought to make resolutions all the time). This also makes me wonder why people go in a frency over a New Year. A New Year is just a continuation of days from the previous days of a now ending year – but with different dates. We go into a New Year as the same people we were in the previous year. Nothing changes overnight. Really.

The truth about life is that there are things/resolutions that you made last year (probably 80% or more) that still stand unresolved or untouched, or that you tried, reached halfway and lost momentum to pursue. Also, if you are fond of making deep reflections on how your life is fairing on, it is likely that you are disappointed with yourself, with God or with the people around you that were to be part of the success or completion of those resolutions. You also are aware that after attending an overnight prayer meeting (kesha) on New Year's eve, nothing actually changed. It only helped in changing your attitude for this year, but your life still needs lots of your input.

You see, I'm just aligning you with reality: debts haven't disappeared (yet), your health still stinks as it was before Christmas, your pockets and financial life may even be in a worse state than before Christmas, you probably still own only a pair of shoes (one danging pair!!), your relationships life is still in a mess, you still have temper/anger issues, trust issues, food issues, friends issues, church issues, pride issues, boredom issues, lust issues... and so forth and so on.

That's the reality of things.

But let's twist it a little... What if you really desired change? What if you chose to pray to the LORD God to help you sort out your wretched life one piece at a time? What if you forgot about those empty, hysterical and impulsive New Year urges to make "New Year resolutions" and sought to do something different? What if you decided to work on your life diligently and steadily one moment and step at a time? What if you saw your life with the big picture in mind and not just as an enclosure or a portrait or a painting within a year? Maybe things would change, right?

That's how I'm convincing you to look at new years. Maybe you'll have something to celebrate at the end of this one. (For, by the way, there is always something to celebrate.)

Below, I'm listing things you can promise yourself to do (which are not hard to follow in any way) for your own daily personal growth as you look BEYOND 2015:-

1.      Allow the Lord to deal with you as He pleases 

• As He pleases? Yeah, as He pleases. Or you can try playing God in your life and see how that ends. 
• Where is your level of submission as far as God and Christian ministry are concerned? Are you promising yourself to consciously serve more? You should do so.  
•  Is the LORD alone enough for you regardless of what happens in/to your life in this year or anytime or do you think you need more than Him? If the LORD is not what you only need to move on, then your focus is blurry and you are standing or sinking sand. 
• There are things that will happen to your life this year and thereafter that you have no explanation for. Leave it in the Hands of God. He knows better. He does. 
•  Promise yourself to understand that God does not move and work out things in our lives because of how much we know, speak or declare but according to our faith; that's why righteousness is not the substance of knowledge and deeds but of faith in what God says concerning us and Himself. We can't impress God by how much we know but by how much we believe in what He says. So standing up on the first week of the year to declare things we don't believe can happen is as futile as flying to Heaven on an aeroplane. It's like chasing after the wind: useless.

2.      Expect more from God and less from man 

• To get satisfaction, promise yourself to seek to satisfy others more than you seek to be satisfied by them. 
• Learn that if you sacrifice and give more more to God and fellow man, you find yourself. You find God too. And when you find Him, he teaches you to fully put your hope and trust in Him. 
•  Leaning on people will suck the spiritual strength out of you. Know that the closer a person becomes to you, the more a threat they are to your relationship with God if they're not helping you move closer to Him. 

                           If the LORD is not the only one you need for life to move on, then your focus is blurry 

      and you are standing on sinking sand.

3.      Work around being contended with the little you have as you learn patience 

• Mostly, God wants to teach us three basic things as His children: love, patience and faith. Our Christian lives move along these lines. If we keep on failing in perfecting ourselves concerning these three, our spiritual lives will keep moving in circles and we may not experience radical growth in anything we do. 
• Promise yourself to write down every new gift or blessing you receive from people and the LORD on your calendar. Give them a unique color.  Review them at the end of the year and see how faithful God has been to you in the year. Then your contentment would have grown to a whole new level.

4.      Make less promises to people, except to yourself. 

• You’ll be disappointed less in yourself and you'll let no-one down. You'll feel less guilty and become less depressed. 
• At least you won't be playing God, so you'll become humble as the days go by.

5.      A change of attitude at any time of the year is far greater than 20 untouched New Year resolutions  

• The proud and arrogant person always thinks that the only way to see the world clearly is through their own eyes. Yet the more we learn to see the world around us differently, the better we become at serving it and wanting to change it. 
• A change in attitude changes everything. It changes how we love people, how we respond to situations, how we relate with God, how we live in our new environments. It changes everything around us. Everything. 
• Change yourself first. After that, the world will take care of itself. 

6.      Nothing will change unless we take/make a step to change it first. 

• You only win a race you compete in. Cheerleaders are part of the team yeah, but cheerleaders never receive the award; so stop being a spectator expecting stuff to change and benefit you when you haven't worked or participated in it. 
• Life needs a makeover from time to time; it's sad that we get lost in the obvious until we miss what we should get in our seasons of change. It's only when we learn to adapt to and celebrate change that we bring change. 
• Practically, if you’re a fan of romance and fantasy books and novels or movies and TV series, you should promise yourself to read more of Christian literature and watch more of faith-oriented movies not just this year but throughout your life. This is change. I also want us to understand that some goals go beyond a year. Growth is not a one year thing. Growth is eternal. Change too, is eternal. 

                                                         Growth is eternal. Change too, is eternal.  

7.      Keep the list of your goals simple, doable and measurable. 

• Unrealistic goals will make you think you're a failure, while in true sense you may not be. This is why I prefer calling what most people call "resolutions", goals. Calling them "goals" (and I may only have one goal per season) makes it easier to spot them and run towards accomplishing them. 
• You may write down your resolutions/goals in bullet format on your phone/tablet/computer calender app. I always feed them into the 1st January slot, and once accomplished, I come back and check them by indicating the date the goal was fulfilled. You can always scroll back and see your progress as the days go by. A goal set last year may as well be achieved this year. In such a case, enter in both slots of 1st January, 2014 and 1st January, 2015 to show you how long it has taken to work it out.

 8.      All the goals we set are beyond our natural abilities to enact or achieve, so consult the LORD 

• You wanna get married this year yet you don't have a boy/girlfriend? Don't you think that requires God? Yes? 
• You want to buy land and build a home? Involve God. 
• You want to further your education and pay your own fees? Involve God. 
• You want to finish school, get employed and enjoy life? Involve God. 

No goal we set (even that which we think we can accomplish on our own like taking our better halves for a date night) can be fruitful without involving God. He knows the way, so why not let Him lead?

This ain't the end.

I'll be back.

Bonface Morris. 

Writer’s Block

Well, the funny thing is that I don’t have what to write about today; oh, and most funny about it all is that I am going to force myself to write about not being able to write [at all] and stuff like that.

Well, (again, you’ll have to get used to me now when I use this awesome word), if you are into developing habits, or at one time or another you have had a chance to know how habits are developed, you have probably already read somewhere (or have been yelled at by some “expert” at a seminar as you yawned yourself away before lunch break) that you can learn anything and come to making it part of your character in 21 days. 21 days? Yeah, that’s how they get us all duped. You can’t learn anything and become good at it in 21 days. (Yeah unless it is involving food, movies or having a good time). I’ve tried it buddies. It has never worked. (At least for me.)

Side note: I think there should also be another cliché teaching us on how to unlearn things in such and such a number of days. *Sigh* And they surely (whoever does this bad stuff to us good people) will get us all derailed from the awesomeness of not knowing too much useless stuff.

Anyway, because I have just realized that I have never learned anything in 21 days (which is spectacular because I don’t want to be part of the crowd that qualifies such an Ipsos Synovate thingy - they always lie to us anyway), I now embark on justifying my point: you don’t have to learn anything in 21 days, and that you can actually enjoy writer’s block and learn from it instead of being stressed and brought down by it. Yes, you don’t have to be demeaned by your own makings and unmaking(s).

Another side note: You laymen (ahem) don’t know how demeaning it is to know that you can’t just get stuff and words and things to write about even when you really want to, and that it has been happening to you for kinda since your dad send you pocket money (oh, brilliant, now you get it.)

Back to the road...

There are quite a number of habits I have learned without even learning. There are. Quite a lot. Really. My bandwagon of such habits consists of things like waking up late. Come on, don’t give me that eye roll. We were never ever (ahem) taught how to wake up late. None of us was. Did you learn it in 21 days? Naaah, I don’t think so. You didn’t have to.

Okay, the smart ones amongst us may now be having an argument at this point and may be having an avalanche towards telling me, “Those ‘experts’ are actually talking about good habits, Morris!” Oh, good. Great. Well and good, I have a surprise for you. My bandwagon has got good habits too. Check this one out: we have learned how to avoid and deal with criticism in so many ways, and it did not take 21 days. We keep learning and unlearning it. This is life - learning and unlearning habits.

Habits like reading our Bibles have been developed over differing periods of time. Other bad but unprecedented habits include writer’s block, which only requires one or two occasions and you are an expert at it (and the period of learning it is never actually 21 days.) Habits like believing in something (having Faith) and loving people unconditionally take a much longer time to learn and adopt to (ask Thomas and married people about it). Others like unfaithfulness and infidelity can occur in milliseconds.

So what am I trying to say? I am saying that each one of us has a way and a period within which we may study, learn and adopt to a given habit. We do it differently for different habits.

The habit we are trying to deal with here is writer’s block (oh, actually, some may say that it is a condition). We learn it over time, get used to it and eventually make it part of us. It doesn’t just occur. We nurture and cultivate it (just as we do with other good or bad habits) over a given period of time.

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The thing about writing that is also common with other arts is that it takes time for you to develop your style - your own genre so to say - in any piece of art. As long as you are not trying to duplicate someone else’s style, you remain relevant; but if you are trying to wear another person’s shoes, know that that is the beginning of your fall. We can never fit in anyone else’s shoes, no matter how big or small.

Writer’s block is a result of many things, but the main point is this: you are a writer, and you either don’t have what to write about so you are now scared of "the blank page" or you don’t feel like writing [at all]. (And this applies to all artists, by the way.)

So how do we deal with it?

On a light note, you can overcome it through the following ways (oh you can);

1.   Visiting your blog or that folder you save your write-outs in somewhere on your laptop or phone or tablet, staring at the awesome posts you have already posted, sighing, counting them again, sighing a second time, closing the folder and congratulating yourself: “Yaaay, I am a ninja...!!” It won’t change a thing but it may help. Really.

2.   Get to Google and type “How to overcome writer’s block in 21 days...” After that, stare at the search results, click on a few links, click back, re-read an article, smile about it, do a few Opera or Chrome keyboard shortcuts just to prove to and remind your awesome self that you have acquired ninja status and go on with your miserable writing-less life. Yes, go on with your life, buddy. We won’t judge you. After all, the pen, the keyboard, the screen, the energy, the brain, the sacrifice to write and so forth and so on are all yours. We won’t judge you, I promise.

3.   Post to your social media platforms something like this: “I need to do something about not writing... It’s been a long time” and wait for the ooooooohhhs and aaaaaaahhs that arise. Argue with friends a little to why you are not writing and then just disappear from the comments. You are the bause, remember, you are the bause.

4.   Mourn about it until you fall asleep or until you become hungry and eat it away. Of course you’ll add weight due to binge eating. And of course that’s another bad habit you’re slowly developing...

Or, on a serious note, you can do the following;

1.   Try to understand when and why you stopped writing.

Is it a problem you can overcome or do something about? Then do it. Is it a problem with a change of environment and as a result you are still trying to acclimatize or is it a change of friends and the work-space? Inspiration differs depending with our environments, achievements and the challenges we encounter along the way. These things may be happening to us or to the people around us. I may stop writing or my style of writing may switch swiftly from one to another depending on people around me and the things I see, touch, smell, think about, feel, like and love from moment to moment and day to day: was I previously single? Am I still single? Am I from a broken relationship? Have we clashed with God or are we in good terms? Am I married? Do I now have kids e.t.c. These things redefine art. A lot. And writing is not a exception.

2.   Ask your writing friends about how they overcome the block.

Birds of the same feather flop together (Experts et al), remember? At a personal level, I deal with mine by doing exactly what I am doing today... Writing about it. But best of all, I have so many unfinished writing mini-projects and I always use one or two of them to get me back up again. Once I contribute to a certain topic I was addressing somewhere in the underground, everything else (my thought process, my grasp for inspiration and my passion) just falls in place. Someone else may give you a point or two to help you pick yourself up again.

3.   Stop believing that lie that you can undo the block in 21 days.

This is not some sort of theory, my friend. Writing is serious business, so if you don’t want to do it (or you don’t feel thrilled doing it), it will take you 21 years to get anything done. Yes, 21 years or even more. Mark my words. (I actually have a certain writing project that has stayed untouched for four years... and I am still counting...) Yeah, this thing is real.

4.   Take advantage of modern technology.

Own a notebook (paper, if you are all conventional and stuff), a phone with a note-taking app, a tablet or a laptop with note-taking apps that sync across all platforms (phone-tablet-laptop/desktop). This way, you can start writing something on one platform and finish it off elsewhere once you get the time and opportunity. What mostly contributes to our failure to write - that is if we have not befriended technology - is when an idea chips in and we don’t note it down, or we note it on a piece of paper which gets lost, gets torn or gets rained on thus losing information and leaving us with an overwhelming sense of helplessness.

5.   Stop wanting to be like someone else.

Admire people’s work, but stick to your own style. Read a lot yeah, but don’t duplicate someone’s writing style into your own. You are prone to fail if you do so. The weird thing about art is that counterfeits don’t last long, so stop being one. Yes, counterfeits, copy-cats and wannabes never bounce back after a burnout or after the block creeps in.

6.   Manage your time well.

There is always time to write and there is always time to rehearse. Always. If you are passionate about it, you will always find time. You only need three hours (at most) to write something exponential i.e. you write the whole unedited script of three pages (of a Word document of course) in 1 hour, edit it in the next 30 minutes, go walk for 20 minutes to clear up your head, come back and review it anew for 40 minutes or so before posting it or stacking it on top of other writings your already have. You can spread the 3 hours across a week by getting to write at least 30 minutes a day. You don’t need 21 days, you just need 30 minutes per day for a lifetime.

7.   Don’t judge yourself so harshly when you aren’t able to write for a while, but congratulate yourself when you do.

You do this for a while and you come to realize that there is nothing that works better in art than self-motivation. Motivate yourself to achievement or die seeking for compliments from ghosts. :-)

8.   Don’t write nothing if you have nothing to write.

It is better you shut up and write nothing than fill up people’s faces and minds with unrefined art. There is nothing as bad as everyone wondering, “Oh Morris, who really forced you to write that?” Or “You could have prepared more, man. We’d appreciate more if you did so!!” Preparation and research are key to perfecting any gift or talent, so thoroughly work on them before spreading your block woes to everyone else around you.

9.   You don’t have to figure out the beginning to the end of what you want to write about - nobody does that all the time.

You just have to see the beginning, a little of the middle (the body) and some part of the end of the work of art. If you wait to see the whole thing before embarking on writing, you may actually end up seeing nothing hence write nothing.

10. Never procrastinate your writing time. Ever.

Writing, like every other art, requires discipline and consistency in order to achieve great (not just good) results. Once you break this order of things, you are likely to fall off really fast. (Ask me about it.)

11. Don’t restrict yourself to one style of writing.

Art, unlike science, is always exploratory and changing. The Shakespearean style of writing can e revived today if we choose to. We can write the same things in many different ways... And as I always say, “Writers and movie-makers are gods...”, there is nothing that a writer can’t possibly do to his/her style or the very things they address in their works of art. So go on and make yourself a god with your work being your creation...

Until next time,

Bonface Morris.  

Valentinology

Guys, there is no doubt that Valentine’s is a special day *sigh!* At least to some of us…

And “special” can be quite ambiguous sometimes depending on where one is on the so-called “love line”. To some (me included) it is just a waste of time. To others, it means everything there is in the love game. They worship it. They’ve been waiting for it. They endear it. They esteem it. It is in their hearts, in their souls, in their minds, in the movement of every breath of theirs…They dream of Valentine’s all year long…They think that it qualifies the existence of heaven and earth, and that it is the imprint of love itself.

But to me, yeah, to me, it is just a common day - as common as any other. Okay, let me be fair: It is as good and common as every other day. And though you may already be wishing to throw stones at me (but I’d rather you threw cakes and chocolate instead of stones), I am neither dying soon nor stopping to write about it. Just get used to that fact.

Valentine’s is a season of deep recitations and queer damnations. In fact, if you have been careful enough to make observations, you will realize that the value of “love” in relationships revolves around this season. It carries with itself the mist and fog of our love lives – forms of blindness together with heightened pretence-cum-ignorance. It is like a White Christmas that appears all of sudden in tropical Africa. A mysterious happiness, you know – like jumping off a plane that was previously flying smoothly into the air smiling at yourself because of the assurance of the presence of a parachute only to discover that the stripes won’t unlock! And you find yourself falling deep, deep down into the air like a stone – with a doddering fate to revel yourself in. It is like smiling on the outside while deep inside there is a whole looooooot of pain. It is like missing someone you can’t have – someone you have never had...

But again, Valentine’s is a season of happiness. A season of happy love.  It is this time that you may spot mirages of kindlings and rekindlings of the embers of love. The dead passions may come to life in this season. Relationships may just be miraculously touched by the hand of reconciliation. Ghosts of forgetfulness and irresponsibility may mysteriously vanish and disappear [Ooh! Thank God!]. The dead longing, the callous feelings, the shamefulness of love may just be turned around in this season - and maybe without the death of upth…

It is possible that Valentine’s has a good fortune for some people too. Maybe this time a man may take out a lady after kinda year – like a balloon suddenly inflates [and o how ladies always wish that nothing, no demon, no dark spirit (like Uhuru Kenyatta’s) pricks the air out of that love balloon!]. Or a lady may take out her man – it happens, and I somehow enjoy the sense in/of it. Love ballads may be sung. Little love songs. Tiny shows of love may be displayed in the publicity of all. Hearts are going to be stirred. People may enjoy love this season… People will enjoy love this season. The tottering vehicle that was a relationship may just gain stability. Yeah, Valentine’s too has some positivity attached to it. That is why I may advocate that you go for it as you excuse me to remain being the proverbial preacher who drinks wine but preaches water – whatever that metaphor meant…

Nevertheless, the game is on and it needs to be played out well (as some would wish it will). Guys are having expectations and are now utterly forgetful. Ladies are already having love fevers and are showing symptoms of lovemania. Some are pretending not to be aware of the presence of the damned day. Oh, well, I don’t give a damn. It is here. It is just 6 days away...

Let me give you tips to put on your “to do list” if you are one of them “love birds”:

1. Romance - Guys, if you had promised yourself that you’re going to sing her a song (and I really pity you for that) here’s a link to my YouTube channel with 6 songs I recommend.  In addition to music, you may need to up your skills of thoughtfulness (whatever that means as interpreted by them dudettes). If that means gifts or acts of affection to your lady, then you are good to go.
2. Gifts – we all don’t love the same things. Chocolate is the culture, but it is not the rule. Flowers are the custom, but not the law. And who said that guys don’t deserve gifts from their ladies, huh? Who said that? Ladies need to up their game in giving gifts. We guys deserve gifts too. Be thoughtful and share the special moment with your significant other with a gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive (okay spare me the heckling please) because effort and sacrifice matter more in the game of love than affluence…
3. Venue – get a place to spend the evening (or day) that is appealing to both of you and which is in sync with both your value systems. Get a place where nothing will disrupt your attention to each other. Noisy ain’t good – unless it is okay with both of you. Private is dangerous – sex is never too far a sin. Choose your venue well. This is your day. Get a place to spend it like it is the only one.
4. Creativity – be creative with how you are going to do things. Gestures, words to be used, the food to order, the fashion to wear (who said that it should always be red?), the way to behave… If you are not so good at “mouth service” (the right words to say to your partner), you may need training. Go use Google. Google is a genius that most people underuse… Side note: If Google ain’t your friend, come to me and I may just help (haha!)
5. Be yourself – I don’t need to say more on this one. Just go out there and be yourself. Pretense is such a great killer of romance… [if you didn’t know]…

Single people (like me) will need to embrace the fact that there is still life to be lived on Valentine’s Day (or in the Valentine’s season) apart from that kind of love people celebrate in such a season. We should know and appreciate that singlehood is just as cool as being in a relationship, hence think less about love (sic)… God loves us… hehe…and therefore we should gain strength not from a relationship but through making ourselves better for that someone that (one day) is going to be placed our way… [if we so wish to have that someone one day...]

We’ll talk more about singlehood and Valentine’s Day on another day…

Have a beautiful Valentine’s season guys.

Bonface Morris.