Lovehatre!

I hate prisons. I really do hate prisons. I hate prisons because I hate the imagination of being a slave and most of your abilities limited behind walls. I don't love limitations. I don't love limitations that are predictable. Of late I found out that I hate prisons because I really do love freedom. Freedom is cool. Freedom is not like slavery. It is not like being dungeoned all day long. Nah. Freedom to me is an underground description of ‘I-have-all-the-food/things-I-need-and-I-feel-great-that-you-have-no-control-over-my-supply…’ Freedom is sunshine-like…
But before I talk too much, there are also two things I hate: braggarts and correctionists (don’t tafuta this in your dictionary because hautaipata.) Period!
Mr. Thoughts (that’s what I call my errand mind) feels like there are times when hatred and love should just be mixed into one word: lovehatre; pronounced – ‘lav-ata’. And the conditions for the use of such a word should be when the feelings directed towards the recipient (or in a contextual situation) have or contain both extremes. Then maybe the following ranting will make sense…
Mistakes are part of life. That is life, I think. Mistakes (or sin to the spiritual) are humanity’s weak points exposed. There is no perfect person (at least I think so). We also are always pointing out mistakes in others. We may all crave perfection at some point (or at all times) in life, but as we move on, we are reminded that perfection is a showroom of our weakness, an exposition our inadequateness, an announcement of our filthiness and a mockery of our serial inconsistency. It always runs away from us. And we are always zealously chasing after it! Even the ‘most’ perfect are just paradoxical hedonists… they later realize that their ways were or eventually are just as bad as those of the rest of the gang… Here in between is a mixture of love and hatred... Of love because we all admire perfection; but of hatred because 'who really loves to feel inadequate anyway?'
I have met people who use the phrase ‘I hate you’. Those are very strong words to use on someone. It is more weird when all those people you hate have done is not to bring every chaos to your life but just one. Hatred is weird. An you really need to have the best of reasons in order to cast that net of animosity on anyone. I have heard it used in the movies. In my favorite movies. I have heard it from those confused soaps (no gongo-gongo on this laadies, pleease), that define life through TV screens and imagination… I have heard it from places I had never expected and from lips so exclusive (and it is so, that I didn’t expect it from such zones, because I thought that thinking of its prevalence in such contexts was ridiculous, and not that it wasn’t possible). I have heard it from confused minds and from steadfast ones… That word just bites, you know. It is as ugly as an avocado-eating warthog. Ugly and unimaginable. Then “I love you” as a phrase is just the same… but on the other side of the line: beautiful and imaginable…! You too should have good reason(s) as to why you love someone... When you mix the two phrases in the commonness of a feeling, you end up with confusion as a result. Or maybe normalcy of some kind... There in between you realize a mixture of hatred and love. A ixture of extreme feelings.... Of hatred because we hate someone else showing us our mistakes and ridiculing our inner pride; and of love because we enjoy what we do and how we do it... really!
We don’t love to be corrected. Human beings love being right. It is an obsession of some kind. We love being the ones to order the ‘Terms and Conditions’. We hate being wrong. That is why we rarely say, ‘Yeah, I did it. It was my fault’, or ‘How can I become better, then?’ We love being our own bosses; and this makes me say that I don't think correction and acknowledgement of it were born of the same mother. They are just distant brothers, perhaps… because they always occupy the same place: one person's emotional world... and they are or borne of a stimuli (some reaction towards a known or an unknown happening...)
Bet me out that we can all testify to the fact no-one really loves to be pointed fingers at. No one. No one loves to take the blame in anything. Except Jesus. He was and still is the most exceptional human being. The normal us hate blemish tendencies. We love pointing fingers at others. We hate being pointed fingers at. We may have enjoyed the passion or the ‘joy’ together (as in the case of a pregnancy) but one party is always in denial. We may have enjoyed the genge stuff together (as in the case of beer, champagne, tequilas, wine and drugs) but one will always blame the others for indulgence or overindulgence or for death or for any catastrophic aftermath. We may have been a team, playing ‘cool’ games here and there, but one party always ends up being the carrier of the burden. That is human nature, I think. Bad human nature. We love the moments but hate the consequences… Love is always on one side, and hate on the other side - or are they just in the same place? I don't know...
Another way of seeing this, is when there are times you hate thinking that, a sense of unity between two rival chicken may just be due to the presence of a common enemy (the kite). And that those two chicken may not be real buddies. That they are just in some cave - in some prison - because their common enemy has/had threatened their existence; and also because of a common friendship borne out of wanting a hiding place... a hiding place that could easily be shared. They may be partners because of circumstance or friends with a distant common course. They may have fallen in love (I’m still talking of the chicken) because the moment allows them to. Therefore, there between you detect a mixture of love and hatred… Of love because they share and enjoy the hiding place together; and of hatred because once the enemy is gone, they will still fight over teritory...
Love and hatred are laws that scream, ‘Don’t do that!’ They are laws of beauty and flaw. They show us a two sided life that is just but one thing. They paint out a condition: It is because I don’t love it or I hate it… that I behave like I do behave... They imprison the soul and the mind. They make us vulnerable to stupidity. They make us overrule possibilities or undoubtedly accept them. They make us love and hate. They breed in us a momentous emotion - lovehatre! They compel us to love people at one moment because of one good thing they have done or they do; but possibility sticks on point to say that we can really hate the same people or person because of another thing we really desire to be blotted out of their lives or because of another thing they they have done/do. So ‘I hate you’ may just be a phrase meaning, ‘Kamon man, that really pisses me off’ but said in a bad language… It may be a way of saying, ‘I appreciate your correction, but you put it as if I am the devil himself, so I don’t care about what you are saying to me right now; and I was wrong to think you are the good person (or chicken) we hid in the cave with… (at least!!)’. 'I love you' can as well be just deceptive... a feeling of engrossment in superficial hypnosis... a wreckage of the soul that is softened to condone good feelings... to absorb within oneself feelings of pride in someone or something... But tables can still turn the other way round...
So I hate and love correctionists and braggarts. I hate them because they tell me the truth (which my human nature dislikes); and I love them because they are my friends anyway. This knowledge is what sheds light on what each human being possesses: an intrinsic and often extrinsic love-hate feeling that is real. Emotions play games on us. We sometimes call them ‘the fabricators of human behaviour’ if and when one is not careful to lead his/her life in the right way… I hate and love prisons… When I was still spankable by my father, I hated and loved him – all at the same time…
Lovehatre…

NB: Love and hatred as used in this passage are to be termed as feelings only and nothing else... and with no spiritual entity...

Morris.