And “special” can be quite ambiguous sometimes
depending on where one is on the so-called “love line”. To some (me included)
it is just a waste of time. To others, it means everything there is in the love
game. They worship it. They’ve been waiting for it. They endear it. They esteem
it. It is in their hearts, in their souls, in their minds, in the movement of
every breath of theirs…They dream of Valentine’s all year long…They think that
it qualifies the existence of heaven and earth, and that it is the imprint of
love itself.
But to me, yeah, to me, it is just a common day - as
common as any other. Okay, let me be fair: It is as good and common as every other
day. And though you may already be wishing to throw stones at me (but I’d
rather you threw cakes and chocolate instead of stones), I am neither dying
soon nor stopping to write about it. Just get used to that fact.
Valentine’s is a season of deep recitations and queer damnations.
In fact, if you have been careful enough to make observations, you will realize
that the value of “love” in relationships revolves around this season. It
carries with itself the mist and fog of our love lives – forms of blindness
together with heightened pretence-cum-ignorance. It is like a White Christmas
that appears all of sudden in tropical Africa. A mysterious happiness, you know
– like jumping off a plane that was previously flying smoothly into the air
smiling at yourself because of the assurance of the presence of a parachute
only to discover that the stripes won’t unlock! And you find yourself falling
deep, deep down into the air like a stone – with a doddering fate to revel
yourself in. It is like smiling on the outside while deep inside there is a whole
looooooot of pain. It is like missing
someone you can’t have – someone you have never had...
But again, Valentine’s is a season of happiness. A
season of happy love. It is this time
that you may spot mirages of kindlings and rekindlings of the embers of love.
The dead passions may come to life in this season. Relationships may just be
miraculously touched by the hand of reconciliation. Ghosts of forgetfulness and
irresponsibility may mysteriously vanish and disappear [Ooh! Thank God!]. The
dead longing, the callous feelings, the shamefulness of love may just be turned
around in this season - and maybe without the death of upth…
It is possible that Valentine’s has a good fortune for
some people too. Maybe this time a man may take out a lady after kinda year – like a balloon suddenly
inflates [and o how ladies always wish that nothing, no demon, no dark spirit (like Uhuru Kenyatta’s) pricks
the air out of that love balloon!]. Or a lady may take out her man – it happens,
and I somehow enjoy the sense in/of it. Love ballads may be sung. Little love
songs. Tiny shows of love may be displayed in the publicity of all. Hearts are
going to be stirred. People may enjoy love
this season… People will enjoy love
this season. The tottering vehicle that was a relationship may just gain
stability. Yeah, Valentine’s too has some positivity attached to it. That is
why I may advocate that you go for it as you excuse me to remain being the proverbial
preacher who drinks wine but preaches
water – whatever that metaphor meant…
Nevertheless, the game is on and it needs to be played
out well (as some would wish it will). Guys are having expectations and are now
utterly forgetful. Ladies are already
having love fevers and are showing symptoms of lovemania. Some are pretending not to be aware of the presence of the
damned day. Oh, well, I don’t give a damn. It is here. It is just 6 days away...
Let me give you tips to put on your “to do list” if
you are one of them “love birds”:
- Romance - Guys, if you had promised yourself that you’re going to sing her a song (and I really pity you for that) here’s a link to my YouTube channel with 6 songs I recommend. In addition to music, you may need to up your skills of thoughtfulness (whatever that means as interpreted by them dudettes). If that means gifts or acts of affection to your lady, then you are good to go.
- Gifts – we all don’t love the same things. Chocolate is the culture, but it is not the rule. Flowers are the custom, but not the law. And who said that guys don’t deserve gifts from their ladies, huh? Who said that? Ladies need to up their game in giving gifts. We guys deserve gifts too. Be thoughtful and share the special moment with your significant other with a gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive (okay spare me the heckling please) because effort and sacrifice matter more in the game of love than affluence…
- Venue – get a place to spend the evening (or day) that is appealing to both of you and which is in sync with both your value systems. Get a place where nothing will disrupt your attention to each other. Noisy ain’t good – unless it is okay with both of you. Private is dangerous – sex is never too far a sin. Choose your venue well. This is your day. Get a place to spend it like it is the only one.
- Creativity – be creative with how you are going to do things. Gestures, words to be used, the food to order, the fashion to wear (who said that it should always be red?), the way to behave… If you are not so good at “mouth service” (the right words to say to your partner), you may need training. Go use Google. Google is a genius that most people underuse… Side note: If Google ain’t your friend, come to me and I may just help (haha!)
- Be yourself – I don’t need to say more on this one. Just go out there and be yourself. Pretense is such a great killer of romance… [if you didn’t know]…
Single people (like me) will need
to embrace the fact that there is still life to be lived on Valentine’s Day (or
in the Valentine’s season) apart from that kind of love people celebrate in
such a season. We should know and appreciate that singlehood is just as cool as being in a relationship, hence think
less about love (sic)… God loves us… hehe…and
therefore we should gain strength not from a relationship but through making
ourselves better for that someone that (one day) is going to be placed our way…
[if we so wish to have that someone
one day...]
We’ll talk more about
singlehood and Valentine’s Day on another day…
Have a beautiful Valentine’s
season guys.
Bonface Morris.
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