"Boom!"

"She is too preoccupied with nonsense! She says that she is busy? Busy my foot! She even doesn't seem interested in solving anything, but keeps on giving excuses as to why we can't talk about this right now. I needed this to be solved kinda yesterday, but she is just so... Muh! It is like no one was wronged in the first place. I think she cares less about how I feel or the condition of this relationship..." fumed *Arm.

"What? Did he just say that? I don't like his approach on conflict resolution. He is too hasty. Can't I just have some "me time" to think about issues before tackling them? He is already drawing conclusions about me and how I feel about us without even getting my side of the story. Is that how he REALLY feels about me? Why is he treating me this way? What has become of him? Why is he so different from the man I met a few years ago?" ranted *Betty.

Boom! came the hulls. I was caught on the edge there, in the middle of crossfire (or bombfire?). I stared. I stared for a very long time. I stared into my own self before saying anything, that is, if I had to be saying anything at all. I mean, what was I to say? Huh? I am not that bombproof, or am I?
Listening to both sides of a story, and to ramp in some kind of stammered colloquium, a relationship story, gives you some kind of plastic chance of getting around it. However, no matter how volatile my evens were becoming after staring into myself, I think that it is always better that way (to listen to two "unsyncing" halves of a story) than dealing with "half the information." A half of anything, I have been told several times and in different contexts, is never enough...

What *Arm and *Betty have is typical of a modern love relationship... One with its own unique twists and turns, rights and wrongs, and strings and bows... One full of people throwing grenades and shooting from all sides... Throwing and shooting things you would never imagine they would... Just a typical love relationship... Just one normal, modern relationship.

But first, let me help you understand these two (Arm and Betty);

Arm is in his late twenties. A saved young man that loves the Lord, but one who just can't take any "douchy stuff" from anyone - not even from his lovely girlfriend.
You got me right, he is one guy who doesn't bow to weakness. That's his tale and his fate, and he is proud of it. After knowing him for a while, I should say that he is a gentleman in his own right. He met her (Betty) some few years ago and the two have a story I can't go into today. What is important is that they DID meet, and they now DO have a story - a biiiiig story.

*Betty on the other hand is one lady who leaves a mark wherever she goes. She has this countenance, well,
she carries this countenance that you don't find in every lady around. She rubs it on you when you meet her. You get it, right? When a LADY rubs her countenance on you? A great lady-like countenance? Yeah, that one.
I can say she undoubtedly fits in a group of ladies I call "proverbial", as in, worthy to be written and talked about... I only know very few ladies who belong there...
Betty just hit 24 the other month, and she is unashamedly saved and as charming as ever. Well, don't ask me how I know her age, because it is none of your business... It'll be like asking a hen why it lays eggs - it has no clue why...

Anyway, I've known her for a while, and not just knowing, as in "know", but I've known her long enough to tell Arm a thing or two about her: that she too doesn't feed on nonsense. She loves the Lord yeah, but she doesn't tolerate crap. So if Arm is to get glued to her, he really needs to know her game and how she plays it: it is either she owns the game or she doesn't play it at all. It's that simple.

Now that I was caught in their crossfire (or bombfire to suit this case), I had to know that I was dealing with a very delicate issue of reconciling two people I have been, and I am still very proud of. People I believe in. People I behold as changers of this generation as far as Christianity, love, relationships and marriage are concerned. People who are my role models and my friends too...
It came to me at that moment that the toughest part of friendship is trying to advice your mentor. O, there is nothing as tough as that! Guiding your teacher is like instructing God. I mean, where do you start? Where are you supposed to begin? How do you tell someone who's taught you about right and wrong that, "Man this is right, and er, that is wrong?" Tough. Really tough.
But here I was caught in telling them stuff like this;

1. Seriously guys, I was not expecting this from you. How did it come to all this? You tearing yourselves apart? Really? Is that all you can do?
2. So now I am supposed to teach you how to love one another? Me? Teaching you guys? Hah! This is a joke. Just get over it meeeeen!
3. You are my role models, guys! My role models when it comes to things to do with salvation, living upright and relationships. As in, what will I tell other guys about sticking to each other through thick and thin in relationships? Huh? Who will I point them to? Come on!

And so forth and so on...
But after shockwaving through my mind and all the pieces of "sound wisdom" I have acquired over time, I decided to do otherwise. I came to understand something: no one, yes, no one in a relationship anywhere on this earth is ever able to fully agree with their partner kinda 100 out of a 100 times they mingle. We are all going to disagree somewhere. We are all going to fail and betray our own values, the very ones we advocate for everyday. And after that has happened, things are gonna fall apart, so that we may learn the best way to pick up the pieces: to learn how to pick them up beforehand. Yes, it's gonna be "boom, here goes the blast!" at some point, but, but we need to work it around. Those friends closest to us should motivate us into bringing the pieces together...
They can do it in various ways, including understanding that;

1. Everyone is vulnerable to a fall (or a failure) no matter how strongly founded their lives are (both in Christianity and in other things in life.) Being dismissive of their failures without offering help is stupid. We need to help. We need to help because this is our Christian call. From whatever angle the "boom!" may come, we still need to help.
2. Everybody needs mentoring at some point, no matter how many people have been admonished by their instruction. Everyone is a child at some point and they at that moment, just need to be treated as kids for them to coil around and "get" the applicability of the truths they have been teaching to people for ages. The "strong" need guidance and direction too!
3. Everyone needs prayer, and as Hillsong sings, "Everyone needs compassion...", everyone, and mostly, these "strong and wise people" we see (including myself, your leader and your Pastor), need our direction in the very things they already know. They need our support. They are not know-it-alls. It is we who think that it is always alright with them, but you know what? We are mostly wrong. They need us so much at some point.
4. The tiniest of things are the ones that break the greatest of relationships. Nothing should be left pending as far as disagreement is concerned. I betcha, nothing. So, a friend should tell a friend, and tell a friend to tell a friend that nothing, yes, nothing should be left hanging as far as unity in relationships is concerned. If one is grieved, both should be concerned. If one is glad, both should be elevated.

So what did I tell Arm and Betty? My two friends? I told them all there is to be told that makes sense as far as their relationship was concerned... I told them... Oh well, let's talk about this some other day...

*The names used in this blog (*Arm and *Betty) do not belong to any specific or known person(s), but if they do, let's bless that animal called coincidence. :-)

Side note: This is an excerpt from my Christian fiction book you'll know about soon... and "soon", my dearest friends, can be ages... :-)

Bonface Morris.