Friday, May 31, 2013

Etiquette 101

There are things and behavior people expect of others that they think should be natural. However, with the diversity in cultures and upbringing, this may not always be so and things may not turn out as expected.
With realizing that most things that are taken for granted are the very things that mean the whole world to someone else or some other people, I have given myself to writing a series of "here and there" blog posts that address (from time to time) a few do's and don't's of/in normal human life, and mostly, with the young person in mind... The first post in this series was "21 Signs that You are Growing Up". In this second part of that series, we are going to look at behavior and the good things that are generally expected of us by others but which are rarely talked about. I have divided them into various parts which makes them easy to read through (so I think);

General Life

  1. If you promise(d) to call, text, email or "inbox" someone, please do it; and if you may lack "credit" a.k.a. air time on your phone, or became busy, or forgot about it altogether, call back to apologize or beep them or use a friend's phone to call or text them. It is as simple as that; and by the way, it is a great sign of maturity.
  2. Learn to return missed calls from unknown numbers. It may be a friend or family member who either lost their phone or their battery got drained; or it may be that link guy (or chiq) you met at a certain meeting and you gave them your business card but forgot to take theirs... All in all, learn the discipline of calling back. It matters.
  3. Pay debts. Don't expect people to chase you around begging you to give them back their money. He/she may be your buddy or relative, but when it comes to money, dude/dudette, you betcha pay that dough back!
  4. Avoid nose pecking in public. I hope you've heard me, right? ;) Side note: I am a culprit...
  5. Don't go to a friend's place, misuse their stuff (read: possessions - from food, to clothing, to personal things) then leave the place dirtier and more deprived of life than you found it. If someone leaves you in charge of their place, ensure that you leave it better than you found it. Period.
  6. If you are visiting anyone (be it a friend or family), be sure to inform them beforehand when you'll be traveling, at what time they should expect you, if you'll need to be "picked up" or not and the length of time you expect to be at their place. Days have moved on and things have changed. Forget about "the good old carefree days".
  7. Learn to plan your traveling early enough. Write a list of what you'll need so that you won't be found calling out people's names in the dark of the night or later on become an inconvenience to someone somewhere due to forgetting those slippers or soap or woreva...
  8. Stop flossing and bragging about your family, business, job, hair, phone (or gadgets), new fashion, shoes, fun-filled-holiday or education. No one needs that. Some don't even care. It makes you look silly.  
  9. Not everyone needs your noisy rantings or your so-called "quiet profile". Learn to know how to SWITCH that mouth of yours to fit in people's moods and lives! (^_^)
  10. Stop stepping on people's shoes and feet. They feel bad when you do that but they won't actually tell you.
  11. Do you have a cold or are you coughing? Use a handkerchief. Cover your mouth. Don't spit your saliva whenever or wherever. Have manners, my friend. 
  12. Stop calling or contacting people only when you are in need or only when you need something from them. That is very petty of you.
  13. Learn to mind your own business. No one likes it when you keep poking your nose into their personal affairs. It is none of your business.

Dating

  1. Apologize if you are late or are going to be late for a date.
  2. 2. If it was a date for two, let it remain thus. Don't bring in your friend or young brother or sister or woreva. No baggage pleeeeaaaase.
  3. Be yourself. Be easy to be around even though it may not be that easy.
  4. Ensure that your date is served first before starting to eat. Allow them to make an order for themselves - unless they request you to.
  5. Be polite. Be your best. Be the best date someone can ever be with.
  6. Give sincere compliments. They help to ease the moment.
  7. Talk less, but listen more. Allow the other person to talk first before you intercept.
  8. The man should pay the bill, unless the lady complies to do it. Come rain, come sunshine, a real man should pay the bill for the first date.
  9. Escort them out after the date. Board a cab, a taxi or any convenient and available means of transport for the lady. Pay for the transport costs. A serious and mature man should do that. First impressions matter a lot.
  10. Call after the date. Call to know if they arrived well, and also call to thank them for the wonderful time you had - even if it wasn't that wonderful, pretend that it was. It makes the other person feel at ease, because dates bring a lot of anxiety and tension. Ease them from wondering, "Did I really do everything right...?" 

Relationships

  1. Be open about what you need in a relationship. Guys, and er, ladies, is that so hard to ask of you?
  2. Share. Stop being selfish and egocentric.
  3. Buy someone a surprise gift. They are the best gifts in the world!
  4. Pull chairs. Open doors. Give space. In short, swallow up that pride and give in small spontaneous sacrifices. They mean a lot.
  5. Even if hell is breaking loose, a man should never call his lady "fat". A lady should also never call her man "good for nothing". That is the rule in relationships if they have to work.
  6. None of you should ever be disrespectful to the other while in public. Etiquette demands that a "couple's" differences should be solved in private. That is a show of maturity.
  7. Stop being dumb. Do some favors for people without necessarily being asked or requested! Be intuitive, or in a layman's language, become discerning and thoughful.

Eating

  1. Munch that food kimpango. Listen to yourself while eating and judge if you would tolerate another person if they ever munch food that loud. Got it?
  2. Considering the amount of food available and the number of guys that are to share it, serve yourself just enough to let others have a share equal to yours. Stop being greedy and a glutton.
  3. Don't talk when having food in your mouth. Swallow, then talk.


That is it!



Bonface Morris.

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